An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (Part V)

When you text your friend to see if she wants to come over for a BBQ, but you send the it to the wrong person, and you're incredibly relieved when that person declines.

When the GPS tells you to turn right in 1,000 feet, and you spend the next 30 seconds going, "Is this a thousand feet? How about now?... maybe now?" 

When someone invites you for dinner, and you perceive immediately that there isn't enough food for your family, so you sneak your kids aside and tell them to take very little, and you'll go to McDonald's on the way home. And then as they clean up dinner, and scrape a few spoonfuls into the disposal, the wife turns to the husband and says, “See? I told you there was enough!” 

When you're half-way through your errands and realize your pants are on backwards. 

When you're deep in Target and you look down and realize that your basket has someone's used, sticky, adhesive bra petals in it, and you've been pushing them around the store for 12 minutes. 

(I have so many questions).

When you discover some used adhesive bra petals on the shelf at Target because a customer found them in her cart and didn't want to continue toting them around the store, and she couldn't find a garbage can. 

(My apologies, whoever you are!)

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Need more awkwardness?

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Happy and Amusing Things

Happy: Our local DI is open on Mondays again! And not only that... they open at 9:00 a.m.! On the first Monday they were open, I let Daisy go to school late, and we went on a shopping spree and bought her four "new" dresses. 

Amusing: A couple of weeks ago, it snowed sideways during the night. All the fences, telephone poles, and street signs were covered in snow but only on the north side. 

Happy: For a long time, I couldn't have any house plants because our cat would eat them. The cat was a legit excuse, but really, I've never been good at keeping house plants alive anyway. I decided that since the Colonel has been dead for nearly seven years, it's worth another try. Sam's Club had a set of three low-maintenance plants that I fell in love with, and I've managed to keep them alive for over a month!

Amusing: I was surprised the other day when my Honey Nut Cheerios came out of the box shaped like hearts! My initial reaction was, "Something is very wrong here!" but then I looked at the box and saw that they were doing a temporary heart awareness campaign of some sort. Fine by me! They're the most adorable Cheerios I ever saw!

Happy: For my last Young Women lesson, I had the girls plant some seeds from the dollar store. I wasn't sure if they would actually grow, so I was thrilled when one of the young women sent me a photo and told me hers were growing! Two of the other young women have also told me that theirs are growing (or were... as a plant killer, I know they could be dead by now if my young women are influenced by me in any way).

Amusing: The other day at the aviary, I was trying to take a picture of this bird. I held my phone up to the fence (the bird was on the log a little farther back at the time), and suddenly the bird flew right at me and tried to attack my phone. It scared me speechless. 

This breed of Australian parrot, called a kea, is sometimes referred to as a "clown" bird or a "naughty" bird. There are hilarious stories of what these birds do - everything from stealing GoPros to hiding in backpacks. 

Amusing: The other day I threw away a couple of eclairs and realized I'd set up the perfect George Constanza scenario. If I'd done it a month ago, Scotty totally would have taken the eclairs out of the garbage can and eaten them, but he's been eating healthier lately, so the eclairs actually made it out with the trash.

Amusing: A pair of my sunglasses got stuck under the console in the van, and I can't get them out! Sometimes when I look at them, I feel like I'm being spied on. 

Pardon the dirty floor

Amusing: I found a lady bug on my pants while I was sitting outside on Easter. 

Amusing: This meme makes me laugh every darn time. 

Happy: In March I planted some peas, onions, cilantro, and sunflowers in the garden. They are all growing! 

Happy: I now have a variety of bulbs blooming in the west gargoyle throne. The east one is getting closer, but it has a lot more shade, so we'll see how things turn out over there. I'm keeping so many things alive right now! No pressure. 

April Reads

April has been a weird reading month. Most of the books I've read haven't been that great. In fact, I think I've set a record for the most books I've quit in a month. Here is a collage of the books I started and gave up on:

I might go back to some of them later. I would still like to read Midnight in Chernobyl someday because I'm absolutely fascinated by Chernobyl, but my brain can't do it this month. I've had some serious brain fog lately, and some of the books I read, I hardly comprehended because I was so distracted. 

Here are the books I've finished this month:

The Secrets of Lost Stones by Melissa Payne

(paranormal, contemporary)

Source: paperback

Summary: Three women end up living together in a small town and discover the history they share.

Content: Language

Review: ***

Final statement: This book has been on my "to read" list for a really long time. It was just okay. 

All the Murmuring Bones by A.G. Slatter

(fantasy, gothic)

Source: e-book

Summary: Miren leaves her home and sets out to find her parents, after believing they've been dead all her life, and on her way she rides a waterhorse and deals with some angry mermaids or something.

Content: Mild sex and language, dark themes, infant death

Review: **

Final statement: I tried to read something outside my norm, and it was not worth it.

The Death of Mrs. Westaway by Ruth Ware

(mystery, contemporary)

Source: audiobook

Summary: Hal receives word that she is to gain some inheritance that is meant for someone else, but she decides to go for it, and then there are mysteries.

Content: Language

Review: ***

Final statement: Another book that was just okay. 

When the Air Hits Your Brain by Frank T. Vertosick Jr.

(non-fiction, memoir, neuroscience)

Source: audiobook

Summary: Dr. Vertosick chronicles some of his experiences in neurosurgery, mostly through the 70's-90's.

Content: Language

Review: ****

Final statement: I really enjoyed this memoir. The brain fascinates me, and I think people who pursue neuroscience (or anything in the medical field) are so brave. Some of the ethical situations they are put in are heartbreaking. Earlier this year I read When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalinithi, which is also about neurosurgery. Between the two, I liked When Breath Becomes Air slightly better, but both were very interesting... and strangely... include the word "air." 

Count the Ways by Joyce Maynard

(women's fiction, family, coming of age)

Source: e-book

Content: Language, infidelity, gender transitioning

Summary: This is story about Eleanor and the progression of her life through early marriage, motherhood, career, divorce, and all the rest of the things mortality throws at people. 

Review: *****

Final statement: I don't know if other people would like this book as much as I did, but I loved it. It was so raw and real, and there was so much in Eleanor's experience that I could relate to. This book made me feel stuff - joy and pain - and it was beautifully written. After finishing this book, it made it hard for me to enjoy everything else I read this month.

Dear Child by Romy Hausman

(psychological thriller, mystery, suspense)

Source: e-book

Summary: An abducted woman escapes her captor and has to face life on the outside after being holed up in a cabin in the woods. 

Content: Language, rape, abuse, abduction

Review: ****

Final statement: This is a page-turner, but it has a lot of sensitive and disturbing content, so it's not a book I would recommend to very many people. It's similar to Room by Emma Donoghue.

The Night She Disappeared by Lisa Jewell

(mystery, thriller, suspense)

Source: audiobook

Summary: Tallulah and the father of her infant son go missing at a party. Fifteen months later, someone starts leaving clues that might help find them. 

Content: Language, sex

Review: ***

Final statement: This was nothing to rave about. The characters were quite unlikeable. 

Considering the Cross: How Calvary Connects us with Christ by John Hilton III

(religious, Christian)

Source: audiobook

Summary: This book is a compilation of some of Hilton's research on the history of the cross as a religious symbol and the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

Content: In-depth descriptions of Roman crucifixion practices

Review: *****

Final statement:  Hilton has a ton of information available on his web site, including some of the resources used in the course he teaches on the Crucifixion. This book is basically a summary of what is taught in that course. I think it's wonderful that Hilton has made so much of his work accessible to those who want to study these topics. I hoped to write a blog post about some of the content of this book around Easter, but I never found the time. 

When Ghosts Come Home by Wiley Cash

(southern, crime)

Source: audiobook

Summary: In the 1980's, Winston Barnes deals with local crimes and racism in his community as he tries to be a good sheriff and a good man but finds he can't always be both. 

Content: racial slurs and a few swears, mild violence

Review: ***

Final statement: I lost interest in this book as it went on. The synopsis on the book jacket makes it sound like a crime thriller, but it really isn't. It's more about a community dealing with racism with a murder mystery on the side. 

A Stranger in the House by Shari Lapena

(domestic thriller, mystery, contemporary)

Source: e-book

Summary: Karen has amnesia and can't recall the hours leading up to her car accident. She soon finds herself accused of a murder that happened during the time she can't remember.

Content: language

Review: 3.5 stars

Final statement: This book was equal parts awesome and stupid. There were some real eye-rolling elements to the story, but also some exciting things. 

The Star-Crossed Sisters of Tuscany by Lori Nelson Spielman

(chick-lit, contemporary, Italian, travel)

Source: audiobook (a Reader's Choice selection from the country library)

Summary: Much to her grandma's dismay, Emilia travels to Italy with her aunt Poppy after being forbidden to interact with Poppy for most of her life. She learns about Poppy's life, and family secrets come to the surface. 

Content: language, sex (non-descriptive)

Review: ****

Final statement: This book reminded me a bit of My Big Fat Greek Wedding... but without the wedding... or the Greek. Italy is pretty close, though!

The Younger Wife by Sally Hepworth

(domestic drama, contemporary)

Source: e-book in my Kindle, and I have no idea how it got there!

Summary: Rachel and Tully's dad is marrying a younger woman. Drama unfolds.

Content: some language, rape (non-descriptive), domestic abuse 

Review: ****

Final statement: I like Sally Hepworth, and I love a good domestic drama/thriller. I think most people will not be satisfied with the way this story ends, though. 

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Usually I choose one book to be my recommendation for the month. This time, I don't have one to recommend. While there were a few books I really enjoyed this month, they aren't ones I would openly suggest simply because they appeal to a more specific audience or have content/themes that I wouldn’t want to impose on anyone.

This Week in Photos

The past week(ish) has been a bit crazy, and things will stay that way until school gets out in June. I'm bracing myself for the next several weeks and stocking up on dry shampoo, gummi bears, and anxiety meds. This is the first "normal"(ish) spring since 2019, and I don't remember how to do all this stuff. 

May be cray!

But now the May cray has leached into April without relieving any of the May cray!

(Are you picking up what I'm putting down?)

Anyway, let me share some of the happenings as of late - beginning with Easter in ten photos (these photos aren't in chronological order because Blogger is being difficult):

Photo #1: Amber and I started off Easter with some Wordle joy!

Photo #2: We made resurrection rolls for breakfast

Photo #3: We took a family picture before church

Photo #4: Nicky mysteriously cut his hand during my mom's Easter hunt and bled all over his eggs

Photo #6: We studied The Living Christ and lit an Immanuel wreath

Photo #7: We had an "egg roll" with Scotty's mom's family (where we rolled eggs down a hill)

Photo #8: We went to Tracy Aviary

Photo #9: We hunted for eggs in the rain

Photo #10: And we hunted for eggs five more times...

Easter was busy but good. 

Adding to the chaos was Eva's seventh birthday. 

We had family over to celebrate on her actual birthday. Then after Easter settled, she had a "friend" party.

I brushed up on my party coping skills.

On Tuesday we had to take Eva to the emergency room because the backs of her earrings had gone inside her earlobes - as in completely inside her earlobes. We couldn't even see them! The pediatrician said she didn't want to mess with them, so she sent us to urgent care. The urgent care doctor said he wouldn't mess with them, so he sent us to Primary Children's Hospital. Luckily, four wonderful staff members there were willing to mess with them:

So that made for an interesting day. 

That evening we went to the Tulip Festival in Lehi with Scotty's mom and step-dad who were celebrating their 25th Anniversary.

It was so windy, and not very warm, but the wind added a whole new element to the sculpture of Christ walking on water in the Light of the World garden.

That night, I made French dip sandwiches for dinner, and I put my hoagie bun in the oven to toast it. I got distracted dancing to "We Don't Talk About Bruno," and when I opened the oven, flames came out at my face. 

The good thing is that I remain pretty calm when I start kitchen fires. The bad thing is that I start a lot of kitchen fires. 

On Thursday, my girls dressed up as book characters for World Book Day.

Eva was the Wonky Donkey. 

Zoe was Lucy from Owl Diaries.

Daisy was Kristy from The Babysitters Club. 

That same day, I went to the Tulip Festival again - this time with my friend Julie.

On Friday, my first tulip-that-isn't-actually-a-daffodil bloomed! I don't think it's one I planted, though, because the assortment of bulbs I bought did not include pink. But whatever. At this point, I'll take whatever blooms and call it "mine."

And that brings us to Saturday... also known as "today."

We woke up early and got our house clean. Then we had to take Zoe to a birthday party at a trampoline park. While we were waiting for her to get done, Scotty and I went to Daybreak to walk around the lake. We did some bird watching.

Mama mallard with eight babies

Yellow-headed blackbird

Nesting American coot

Not pictured: barn swallow, redhead duck, great-tailed grackle, house sparrow, red-winged blackbird, and double-crested cormorant, to name a few.

Also: dead bass, dead catfish, and thousands of gold fish that probably aren't supposed to be in Oquirrh Lake.

Now that the more hectic portion of our day is done, we're just lounging around, trying to rest up for our "day of rest" that won't offer us any actual rest. 

(Oh, Sabbath! I’m not ready to face your challenges). 

Now off to do Wordle for today!