Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Kid Quotes

Here are some funny things my kids have said lately that I've jotted down. As always, I wish I could capture their voices - that makes all the difference! But I do what I can.

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Nicky: Mom, I saw on Instagram that DJ from Fuller House was at Disneyland today, and she was wearing a Gucci belt.

Me: How do you know her belt is Gucci?

Nicky: Because it has two G's on it.

(Then I had to google it because I don't know what the Gucci logo looks like, and sure enough, my 12-year-old son is correct).

(Also, Nicky does not have an IG account, but sometimes he gets on my phone and scrolls through mine. I follow @disneyland_celebs).

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Zoe: I kissed Quinn on the cheek at recess.

Me: You did? And what did Quinn do when you kissed him on the cheek?

Zoe: He fell on the ground and just laid there thinking about me.

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Zoe had to go to school late one day because she had a doctor's appointment.

Zoe: When I get to school, I'm going to tell my teacher that I was trapped in traffic.

Me: Or you can just tell her you had to go to the doctor.

Zoe: But I LOVE to lie!

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Me: What do you want people to say about you after you die?

Nicky: Oh no! Where will we get our eggs now?

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One day Eva kept going around saying, "My dad likes to choke people." I kept shushing her - unsure why she was saying that. Then I realized she was saying, "My dad likes to joke people." As in, play jokes on people.

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"Why do I have to have all the same problems you do? I'm like a boy version of you, and it's horrible!"

-Nicky

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"When are we going to get rid of Zoe?"

-Eva

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"I never have KHYFOOTY* problems at school, but I always have KHYFOOTY problems at home!"

-Zoe

*Keep your hands feet and other objects to yourself

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"Mom, that wobot is so wuuuude!"

(That robot is so rude!)

-Eva, talking about my GPS

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"I pee in beds."

-Eva

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"I am so beautiful that every boy in this world wants to kiss me!"

-Zoe, while looking at herself in the mirror

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"Tyler wants to marry me, but I want to marry Magnus, and I just don't know what to do!"

-Eva

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"This hotel has a continental breakfast. That means it's really bad breakfast, but it's okay because it's FREE!"

-Nicky

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Eva: Why do gwown-ups have to be so wuuuuuude?

Me: Oh no! What are the rude grown-ups doing this time?

Eva: They are telling us we can't watch YouTube.

(They = me / us = Eva)

Brought to You by Cold Weather, Crayons, and My Dead Cat

For the past two weeks, I've woken up between 3:00-5:00 in the morning nearly every day. Not by choice, of course. Normally on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I get up at 5:15 to go walking with a couple of friends. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I "sleep in" until 6:15 (in theory - I often still wake up at "walking time"), and then I get up with Nicky for when he gets ready for school. I don't have to get up with Nicky since he's pretty independent and responsible about getting out of bed and getting ready, but I feel like I should be up and available during that time. But lately, I wake up between 3:00-5:00, and I can't go back to sleep. I roll over, look at the clock, and think, "Nooooooo!" and then I try to convince my brain to not activate. I need it to shut right back down, and if it does, it only takes about thirty seconds for my four-year-old to sense it and come wandering into my room. So I act like I'm asleep as I try to maintain my brain shut-down, and I think, "Please choose Dad! Please choose Dad! Dad can go back to sleep! I can't!" but she only chooses Dad 10% of the time.


This morning, being a Wednesday, I normally would have woken up at 5:15 to go walking, but today is a horribly bizarre weather day, and the forecast said it would only be 13°. That's what I call "booger freezing" weather. And my walking companions were more than happy to bow out. With that came the possibility of "sleeping in" until 6:15, and I really believed it was going to happen!

Imagine my disappointment when, just after 5:00 a.m. we heard a loud crash and the sound of hundreds of small items rolling across a floor. Scotty and I sprung awake, and my initial thought was, "Stupid cat!" (because even after being gone for four years, I still always assume every little noise is the cat, and I hear all sorts of phantom cat sounds through the night, which makes me wonder how many sounds I thought were the cat but actually weren't the cat back when we had a cat) (are you getting me here?)

Anyway, loud crash.

Hundreds of rolling objects.

No cat.

Scotty got out of bed to investigate. It ended up being a large box of crayons falling off the top bunk in Zoe and Eva's room which has laminate flooring. Zoe insists on sleeping with crayons and a notebook, and every night before bed she draws mountain landscapes and creatures with big eyes. I guess it's good that it was crayons falling off the bed and not Zoe (the risk of using bunk beds from the 70's, but man, those things are sturdy like nothing I've ever seen from our modern-day furniture selection).

Clearly I wouldn't be going back to sleep.

Right on cue, the four-year-old came wandering into our room.

I thought, "Well, at least I have some free time to blog."

And that, my friends, is how this masterpiece of a blog post came to be.

Stay warm today!

Monday, October 28, 2019

The Latest Stops on our National Parks Tour

A few weeks ago I mentioned that we are trying to visit several national parks this year while Daisy has the free 4th grade National Parks pass.

(Can I just sat that I really love going back and reading my blog posts about vacations? Can't stop. Won't stop).

Over the weekend, we made it to FIVE National Parks and Monuments, which only required us to drive 1,000 miles and a total of 19 hours in less than three days. But who's counting?

Mesa Verde National Park


We left home at 5:00 in the morning on Friday (because we are crazy like that), and our first stop was the Tamarisk Restaurant in Green River. We've eaten there before and loved having an excuse to go back.

After a fair amount of bathroom pit stops and a quick jaunt into Arches national Park to get some permits for the Fiery Furnace, we made it to Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado. The park is in the off-season, so they aren't currently doing tours, but we still saw a lot of the sights, just not up close. It would have been cool to do some tours, but not with kids.

It's pretty neat to see the man-made structures that have survived hundreds of years. One pit house dates back to 600 A.D. There's not much to it - it's basically just a hole in the ground, but its pretty amazing that modern man has been able to excavate things like that from so long ago.

I wonder how I would have fared as a cliff dweller. I'm pretty sure I would have plummeted to my death.

I would share more photos of Mesa Verde, but they seriously
all look the same. And the sunlight was so harsh for most
of this trip - it made it hard to get good photos. 


Yucca House National Monument


That night we stayed in a hotel in Cortez, Colorado.

On Saturday we woke up early, packed up our stuff, and headed to Yucca House National Monument. Never heard of it? Yeah... neither had we. And even after googling it and reading a few articles, we're still not really sure what it is.

Are you impressed?

There's a field with some bricks in it. That's about it. As far as we can understand, whatever is there is unexcavated, but it's supposedly a 600 room pueblo.

We knew from Scotty's prior research that Yucca House wasn't going to be a very eventful stop, but we went anyway so our kids could get the stamps in their National Parks passports (the stamps are available at Mesa Verde and not at the actual monument).


Nicky admiring the bricks in his t-shirt and shorts
in 26 degrees (It was so cold at Yucca House).


Four Corners


After we left Yucca House, we went to Four Corners way out in the middle of nowhere. I've always wanted to see Four Corners because of the Simpsons. My expectations were low. I just wanted the photo and the honor of stepping into four states.


As we were leaving Four Corners, Scotty informed me that the monument isn't even in the right place. I feel cheated.

Four Corners also isn't run by the National Parks Service, so we had to pay to get in, but we knew that when we made the decision to go there. The place is laughably unimpressive, and the bathrooms reek to high heaven. But we got our photos! And we totally broke the "three photos only" rule because we could! We pretty much had the place to ourselves.



Hovenweep National Monument


Our next stop was a fun little surprise: Hovenweep National Monument. Like Yucca House, we'd never heard of it. Scotty saw it listed in the kids' National Parks passports. I imagined it being as non-exciting as Yucca House, but it ended up being really cool.



A short hike afforded us the opportunity to see several prehistoric structures. How cool would it have been to stumble across something like that? There's a part of me that wants to be an archaeologist. But there's another part of me that's super non-adventurous and doesn't want to be dirty and gets bored with ancient civilizations.



Natural Bridges National Monument


Believe it or not, we weren't done with our Saturday journey yet.

Last week I took Zoe to the pediatrician, and the doctor had just returned from Mesa Verde. She recommended that we stop at Natural Bridges (again... we'd never heard of it). She showed me some pictures, and I told her we'd look into it. She said she really likes it because it's not very crowded, and it's beautiful.

I didn't think we'd actually make it there because we already had a full itinerary, but when Scotty started researching it, he really wanted to go! And we are so glad we did.

At Natural Bridges, we stopped to see the Sipapu Bridge from the lookout.

It's very hard to see, but this is the view of Sipapu Bridge from
the lookout deck.

Zoomed in a little bit.
It blends in well. 

Then Scotty got the itch to hike to it. We weren't sure if it was a good idea or not because it was a 500 foot descent, and we had four kids, my not-exactly-young step-dad, and my mom who just had a hip replacement earlier this year. But we gave it a try! As we worked our way down into the canyon, I envisioned all sorts of emergency scenarios and tried to calculate how long it would take one of us to hike back out and get help. The nearest cell phone service was about ten miles away. So not scary at all. Eek!

Fortunately, all 8 of us made there and back safely.

The hike was really fun. Our kids do really well on hikes that have a lot of variety in the terrain. This was the perfect hike for them because they got to climb down ladders and stairs. The path alternated between rock and sand, and there was a lot of fun stuff to see.

Stairs

More stairs

An amazing amount of bird poop

Stopping for a break. Might as
well play in the sand.

My mom and step-dad.


We made it to the lower lookout where we had an amazing view of the arch. Scotty and Nicky went down to the very bottom, but I stayed with the girls and my parents because the last stretch was pretty strenuous and involved a lot of slick rock and a very tall, twisty ladder.

Sipapu Bridge.

Shiny-faced hiker.

Twisty ladder at the bottom (if you look closely,
you can see me near the top of the photo
with my arms up - Scotty took this picture from below)

Nicky and Scotty heading down to the arch. This reminds me
of the scene in Lost where the Man in Black takes 
Sawyer down into Jacob's cave.

Sipapu Bridge from below.

This was definitely one of our favorite hikes we've been on.


Arches National Park


After we left Natural Bridges, we drove to Moab where we stayed for the night.

On Sunday morning, we went to Arches National Park and hiked the Fiery Furnace (we did not go with a Ranger). That was a fun adventure. We would have liked to stay in there longer, but the kids were starting to get pretty exhausted, and all they really wanted to do at Arches was play on the big sand hill that's not even in the park.

Entering the Fiery Furnace

Scotty and Nicky. This is the point where we 
turned around and came back. A couple of the
kids were losing steam. 

They were troopers, though, and did pretty well considering what we'd put them through in the previous 48 hours.

Just us. 

Hidden Mickey.

It was really cold on Sunday, so that made things a little tougher, too.

After the Fiery Furnace, we went to Sand Dune Arch and Double Arch - both are really short walks. I hoped to hike to Delicate Arch, but we were running short on time, and the crowds had gotten pretty fierce by the time we got out of the Fiery Furnace.

Since Arches is so accessible to us, we weren't worried about what we didn't get to do or see. We'll go back someday.

Originally we had also planned to go to Canyonlands as well, but since we went to Yucca House, Hovenweep, and Natural Bridges, we had to cut out Canyonlands. That's okay because it's not too far from where we live, and we can easily head down again soon.

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On Sunday afternoon we headed home. We missed out on snow at home and didn't feel bad about it at all!

We had a great time on our trip and saw a lot of things to wonder at, both man-made and natural. We also saw a lot of really ugly, colorless parts of Colorado and Utah. I had to laugh at the signs that said "Welcome to Colorful Colorado" that had no hint of color within miles! 

Scotty is already mapping out our next adventure, and he says this time we're going to need at least eight days and a five-gallon bucket full of money! I guess I better start saving my nickels and dimes!

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We bought these books when we went to Dinosaur National Monument last year. As you visit National Parks, you can purchase a sticker (or stamp) to put in your book, and you can also stamp the date (known as a "cancellation") in your book. We thought the books would be fun for the kids, and they have been. 

BUT...

My complaint is that they are divided by region, and they only have five pages per region. So we have already filled all the pages for our region, and there are several pages in other regions that we will likely never visit. This bugs me. So now our kids are putting stamps on pages that supposed to be for a different region of the nation. It's just a bad design. 

If I could do it over, I would purchase some nice, spiral notebooks with white, unlined paper (perhaps a sketchbook), and make our own books. Then I would let my kids get the stickers from the places we visit, do their passport cancellations, and pick a postcard to put in the book. 

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Our vacation tradition to help our kids remember the trip and to give them a chance to pick something from the gift shop is to buy each child a postcard and then write about the vacation on the back. Each child has a collection of postcards from our trips, and they love looking through them and reading about our travels. 

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

I'm Counting Down to Lunch (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: Now that I'm no longer doing a writing challenge, I've kind of forgotten how to blog.

Fact #2: I've also been doing a lot of personal journaling for the past few weeks, so that is where my "writing time" is going. I'm trying to work through some stuff I'm struggling with, and journaling has always been a good outlet for that.

Fact #3: I just got back from the store, and now I'm suffering from some mega grocery store fatigue. Why is it so exhausting? I still have several items I haven't put away, but I had to take a minute to sit down and recover.


Fact #4: I actually really love grocery shopping. I enjoy meal planning, making a list, and going to the store to get what I need (without children). But I hate coming home and carrying everything in the house and putting it away. If I ever have a Sue, that will be part of her responsibilities.



Fact #5: As you may recall, I am the primary music leader at Church (that means I am responsible for teaching music to the children, which I am very qualified for (Ha!)). We have our primary program coming up in a few weeks, so I've had the songs running through my head on repeat. I didn't realize how often I do it until Scotty caught me one day, but I actually walk around my house leading music. This morning I went for a quick walk before I got my kids up for school, and I caught myself leading the music as I strolled around my neighborhood. I don't even know I'm doing it sometimes!

Fact #6: Scotty got the most amazing haircut from Great Clips over the weekend.


When he came home, he didn't know how bad it was because the stylist hadn't shown him the back of his head. When I saw it, I couldn't stop laughing. Then I showed him the photo. I fixed it as best I could, and then I emailed the photos to Great Clips and said, "Please don't ever let anyone walk out of your store like this again!"

Last night the manager called Scotty and apologized and told him they would like to use his photo for training.

Fact #7: For many years, I cut Scotty's hair to save money, but we've gotten a little wild and spendy lately (and it was nice to pass on that responsibility to someone else), so he has been going to Great Clips with coupons (we're still cheap when it comes to his hair because he has such a simple, basic cut).

I think I'll take the responsibility back now, especially since I have a newly found confidence in my own haircutting ability. I've never cut Scotty's hair that bad! Not even the time I sneezed and took a chunk out of his head!

Fact #8: We went to a Halloween party over the weekend, and I don't think Scotty and I will be dressing up again, so here is our obligatory Halloween costume photo:


Fact #9: I hand-painted this amazing piece for Scotty:


Call the Pinterest because I have arrived!

Fact #10: I don't yet feel rested enough from grocery shopping. Imma need another two hours of recovery time. 




Sunday, October 20, 2019

Dear Ann Landers

The other day I posted some images from a newspaper I found, dated May 26, 1967. My favorite part of the newspaper is the Ann Landers column.

  Ann Landers 

A brief internet-researched history on Ann Landers:

 The Ann Landers advice column ran for 56 years in newspapers across the United States. At the time of this column, Ann Landers was Esther Lederer. Esther is responsible for your fear of Halloween candy. Remember the razor blades and the poison? (I sure do). Those rumors were a result of Ann Landers writing that, "In recent years, there have been reports of people with twisted minds putting razor blades and poison in taffy apples and Halloween candy. It is no longer safe to let your child eat treats that come from strangers." She was also responsible for the rumor that birds explode when they eat rice.

 The column in the Salt Lake Tribune on May 26, 1967 included this letter:

  Ann Landers
Dear Ann Landers, I don't sleep in my wife's night-gowns, nor do I wear her girdle, but if I did, I can't see that it would be any of your business - or anyone else's for that matter. Recently I had an experience along these lines and it burned me up. I have been having trouble with my ankles lately, a general weakness of the muscles. My podiatrist suggested that I walk around the house in my wife's high heels for an hour or two during the evening. The other night the kid who delivers papers came to collect. I answered the door in my wife's high heels. The boy almost died laughing, and now it is all over the nieghborhood. Why are people so eager to put two and two together and get six? I hope you will print my letter and open a few eyes. - NORMAL NORMAN
When I read this letter, I was so excited to see what Ann Landers' response would be. Here it what she said:

Ann Landers 

I don't know what I expected, but I was kind of surprised. I guess I thought she'd be nicer (but then again, I didn't know Ann Landers very well). If I had been Ann Landers, this would have been my response (yes, I've thought about this thoroughly):
Dear Norman, My greatest concern in reading your letter is that your podiatrist has misled you. It is 1967, and the average shoe size for women is 6 while the average shoe size for men is 10. A size 10 foot can not fit in a size 6 shoe - no matter the extent of ankle pain. A good podiatrist wouldn't tell you to wear your wife's high heels when, clearly, you need to buy your own.

Saturday, October 19, 2019

May 26, 1967

Scotty's dad owns a run-down cabin out in the woods. It’s the kind of cabin where people in movies get murdered. It was built in 1939, I believe, by Scotty's great-grandpa. Then Scotty's grandpa owned it, and now Scotty's dad owns it. Kind of. It's complicated.

Anyhoo, about fourteen years ago, we spent an entire summer cleaning the place out. We found dead mice, 1950's pornography, home-made red silk panties, and old-fashioned menstrual belts. There were wasp nests, old bottles of whiskey, and a naked lady glass. It was interesting. One of the cool things I came across was a page from the Salt Lake Tribune dated May 26, 1967.

It's fun to see how much you can glimpse from the era in a single page of newspaper.

Look at the TV's - they were in color!

  Newspaper 

According to Wikipedia, color TV was introduced in 1953 but didn't become popular until 1966 when GE introduced the Porta-Color set. And look! Color TV was just as easy to tune as black and white TV. Quick as a wink, even!

  Newspaper 

Then there were the cars.

  Newspaper 

 They were so... long. The beef was particularly fascinating.

  Newspaper 

 "Copied but never duplicated?" Who knew? And did you notice this:

  Newspaper 

 Fifty pounds of beef? For $27.50? Amazing! Then there was the fashion:

  Newspaper 

K-N-I-T spells success!

I've always LOVED 60's hair, but I don't know how they did it! It was so big, so round, and so immovable. What an art!

  Newspaper 

  Take a look at these things:

  Newspaper 

 And we mustn't forget the shoes!

  Newspaper

(Again with the hair! I'm so in love!)

Newspaper

Newspaper 

Apparently sandals from Italy were a big hit. 

It's amazing how much has changed! For good and for bad. 

Thursday, October 17, 2019

My Legacy

Our kids often ask to go on bike rides to the local elementary school. This happens to be the school Scotty and I both attended as children (though we didn't know each other then). The other night we were hanging out at the school playground, and I took a moment to ride my bike around the back of the school. I looked out at the expanse of the property and recalled that twenty-four years prior, I stood in that exact place, looking across the playground toward the field at a pair of my very own underwear fluttering in the wind.

When I was in fifth grade, a pair of men's briefs appeared on the playground. It was the talk of the school. Everyone had something to say about the underwear. Kids accused each other of ownership. Boys picked it up with sticks and chased girls with it. Everyone rang out a steady chorus of "Ews!" The underwear circulated the schoolyard for several days before it either blew away or someone took care of it.


The next year, when I was in 6th grade, we had a routine fire drill that took the entire student body outside. I was running up the hill to my class meeting spot when I felt something touch my leg. 

If I ever had a bully in elementary school, it was Candice Rowdy, so naturally, it was Candice who said (in her snooty voice), "You dropped something." I looked down, and to my horror, saw a pair of my underwear laying in the grass.


Everyone noticed the underwear, and the flocking and mocking began right away. All I could do was say, "Ew! That's not mine!" But I knew it was mine. I couldn't understand how it had gotten there, but by the time I got home that day, I'd figured it out. Whenever I undressed for the bath, I tucked my underwear inside my pants, so it was likely in my pant leg in the laundry and didn't come out... until I was wearing the pants and running up a hill in front of all my peers. 

Luckily, no one questioned me. Even Candice backed off, thank heaven.


The underwear didn't go away, though. It was still there when we came out for recess, and it was still there the next day. Everyone knew there was a pair of underwear on the playground. It was just like it had been the year before except this time, it was my underwear being placed on a stick. It was my underwear that the wind blew against the backstop. It was my underwear that everyone was talking about.

And I kid you not! That underwear was on that playground for the rest of the school year. On the day I left elementary school, it was still out in the grassy field.

Nearly three decades later, I'm sure no one remembers that underwear. 

Oh, but I do. 

And when I revisit my old school with my children, the scenery is a little bit different, but I can still  envision the plethora of places my underwear appeared on that piece of land across the span of several months.


Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Currently {October 2019 Edition}

Reading: After the Flood by Kassandra Montac. I'm exactly 1% into it (thank you Kindle for keeping me informed of my progress). This is the Libraries Transform Book Pick, so I thought I'd check it out, but based on the synopsis, I never would have picked it on my own ("people on a boat" does not appeal to me).

We'll see... we'll see...

Listening to: Hamilton. Right now "Non-Stop" is my jam. Love that synth bassline.

 Actual footage of me dancing to Hamilton in my kitchen

Watching: Nothing. I'm trying to avoid TV right now. Why? Because I love it too much, and if I start watching a show, it's all I want to do. I'm pretty picky about what shows I like, but when I find one, I turn my whole life over to it.

Actual footage of me watching Gilmore Girls

Eating: Cereal. I've been sick for a couple of days, and I don't have much of an appetite, so I just stick with cereal.

Buying: New socks. I now have a daughter who steals my socks... just like I did to my mom. I had it coming.

Singing: "Why do you write like you're running out of time? Write day and night like you're running out of time?"

Stressing about: Nothing. As long as I don't think about it. If I think about it, I realize that I am actually stressed about everything, so I just keep my stress blinders in place and keep moving forward.

Wearing: Jeans and a black t-shirt.

Craving: Chex

Excited for: The free chicken sandwich on my Chick-Fil-A app. I just hope I'm feeling better before it expires in a few days.

Actual footage of me at the Chick-Fil-A drive thru

Trying: To be more home and family focused. I tend to be more focused on things outside of my home and family, so I often have to remind myself what season of life I'm in and where my priorities should be.

Feeling: Lazy. The real problem is that I'm sick and therefore, fighting through fatigue, but I tend to consider myself lazy during times like this. Then I beat myself up and feel guilty for needing rest. And yet, if my best friend were sick, I'd be like, "Girl, take it easy for a minute! It's okay to rest and recover."

I'm also feeling nauseous.

Which means I now have to make an official statement that I'm not pregnant (protocol for a nauseous 35-year-old woman).

Annoyed by: So, so much. I've been very irritable lately. Sometimes I get this way as I'm heading into a bout of depression, but other times it's just raging PMS. Sadly, I'm kind of an irritable person in general.

Actual footage of me PMS-ing

Grateful for: So, so much. At least my gratitude is equal to or greater than my irritation. Or I hope it is, anyway. I try to express my gratitude to God daily for all of the blessings I have in my life, but I probably do not show enough gratitude to the people in my life who help bring about those blessings.