An Incomplete list of Awkward Situations (Part X)

When an Amazon man knocks on your car window and keeps motioning for you to move your car, and you just smile at him like, “What is your problem, dude?” and then you realize his blue vest says “Parking Enforcement” and not Amazon.

When your mother-in-law constantly tells you how tired you look on days you’re not even tired.

When you use a public restroom and find out too late that there’s no toilet paper, and you have to get creative with items in your purse.

When you go to restaurant, and the sign says, "Seat yourself," so you do, but no one ever comes to serve you.

When you see a delivery person on your Ring doorbell throwing your package onto your porch from the lawn.

When your sister-in-law sends out a group text with a picture of a hairbrush and asks, “Did one of you leave this at my house?” and you have to respond, “I gave that to you for Christmas.”

When you’re eating at Wendy’s and an old lady walks in wearing a shirt with “boo-bees” on it, and you’re not sure if she understands or if her grandkids pulled a fast one on her.

When you’re at the beach, and there’s a lady asleep in the sand next to you for two hours wearing nothing on bottom. 

When you go to a fancy restaurant with your husband’s team from work, and you’re starving, and there’s a plate of calamari appetizers, but you’ve already had some, and there are six people who haven’t arrived yet, so you have to leave it alone so they can have some, too, but when they finally get there, none of them take any, and you just sit there staring at it longingly while it gets cold and soggy.

When you’re in the middle of a sentence, and the person you’re talking to turns and starts talking to someone else, and you have to decide whether to finish your statement without an audience or just let it fizzle.

When a fast food employee tells you to “Have the world’s greatest day!” and you drive away feeling confused about why they have such high demands for you.

When you get out to the parking lot and find that the person in the car next to you is loading their car on your side, and you just have to decide whether to stand there while they finish or take the long way.

And for Scotty...

When you're at the beach, and you go to use the restroom, and there are no doors on the stalls, but it’s desperate times, so you just keep your head down and do what you gotta do.

November Reads: Part II

Between a road trip and an excessive amount of baking, I had a lot of opportunities to read (or listen to) books this month. Enough so that I divided my books into two posts this month (read Part I here). 

Here's what I read in the second half of the month (minus a few books I gave up on and a few I don't feel worth mentioning):

The Measure by Nikki Erlick

Source: audiobook

Summary: One day, everyone over the age of 22 receives a small, wooden box with a string inside that shows the length of their life. 

Content: language

My Rating: ****

Final thoughts: This was a very intriguing premise. At times, the story got a little slow, but it was interesting to see how people behaved and treated each other based on the lengths of their strings. 

The Hawthorne Legacy by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Source: hardback

Summary: In this sequel to The Inheritance Games, Avery and the Hawthorne brothers continue to  unravel the mystery of Tobias Hawthorne's will.

Content: mild language

My rating: 3.5

Final thoughts: I liked the first two books well enough to read the third. My opinion of the books really hinges on that third installment, which I currently have on hold. 

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa

Source: e-book

Summary: On an island in an undisclosed location, items and ideas are "disappeared," and the people are left with no memory of them, save for a few for whom the memory doesn't go away. 

Content: quite clean

My rating: ***

Final thoughts: This book reminded me a little of The Giver. It was translated from Japanese, and there are a few things that didn't win me over, such as the lack of names for some of the main characters and no real explanation or logic behind the disappearances. It was interesting, though and had an ending that makes you go, "Huh."

The Drowning Kind by Jennifer McMahon

Source: e-book

Summary: Jax finds out that her sister Lexie has drowned in the pool of their childhood home. There have always been mysteries and rumors surrounding the water in the pool that comes from natural springs in the area. Jax returns to the home and learns more about her sister's death and others that have occurred there. 

Content: language

My rating: ****

Final thoughts: This is a bit of a supernatural/ghost story, which I sometimes like and sometimes don't. This one... I liked.

The Lobotomist's Wife by Samantha Greene Woodruff

Source: free e-book from Amazon First Reads

Summary: Ruth works at a mental health facility when a new doctor is hired who is intrigued with the controversial practice of lobotomy. He and Ruth are wed, and as he continues to perform lobotomies, Ruth begins to suspect that there is more to discover about the procedure, and perhaps her husband isn't being honest about the success of the results. 

Content: I don't remember very well, but I think it was pretty clean

My rating: ****

Final thoughts: I love anything to do with historical mental health and psychiatry practices, so this book was right up my alley. The history of lobotomy is fascinating. 

Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell

Source: audiobook

Summary: A teen girl goes missing, and a lot of characters are involved (I'm too lazy to get into it).

Content: Sex and language

My rating: ***

Final thoughts: I probably could have skipped reviewing this book, but I already did the work of uploading a photo. It was just okay. Nothing to get excited about. Go ahead and skip this one unless you're bored, and it's readily available at the library.

Anatomy: A Love Story by Dad Schwartz

Source: audiobook

Summary: In early 1800's Edinburgh, Hazel wants to be a surgeon but isn't allowed to pursue the career as a woman.

Content: I don't remember anything concerning, but there is a lot of grave digging, body snatching, and experimental procedures, which include some morbid descriptions.

My rating: ***

Final thoughts: This book's tagline, "A love story," is misleading. While there is a hint of romance, it's not a romantic book. The book started off really interesting, but in the end, I didn't like it enough to read the sequel.

The Benefits of Being an Octopus by Ann Braden

Source: audiobook

Summary: Zoey and her siblings live in poverty with their mom and her boyfriend. Through participating in debate club, Zoey begins to recognize signs of mistreatment from her mom's boyfriend toward her mom and tries to get her mom to leave the situation. 

Content: clean

My rating: ****

Final thoughts: This is a middle grade book that deals with hard topics. Zoey makes a lot of insightful connections between herself and octopuses (and she even points out that "octopuses" is an acceptable plural, which I'm happy to know).

Black Rabbit Hall by Eve Chase

Source: hardback

Summary: This book has an alternating timeline between Amber in the 60's and Lorna in the current day. Amber lives at Black Rabbit Hall and Lorna is drawn to the house, wanting to have her wedding there. Lorna discovers her ties to Amber and the history of Black Rabbit Hall.

Content: Mostly clean, but I think it had a couple of swears and one brief instance of sexual content

My rating: 3.5 stars

Final thoughts: I chose this book for my book club for this month without knowing much about it. I was hoping for something a little gothic or Kate Morton-ish, and this book walked that line, but I think it tried too hard to make the house mysterious and important, and it really wasn't. 

Thanksgiving Away

For Thanksgiving this year, Tim and Amber (aka: “Timber” - my siblings-in-law) invited us to go to Newport Beach. We’ve taken several vacations to Newport Beach with Timber in the past, including one for their beach wedding four years ago. It’s always fun to get to go out of town, so of course, we accepted the offer! “Why, yes! We would love to crash your anniversary vacation with our four kids!”

Timber went down a few days before us while we finished up with Cinderella, and then we drove down on Tuesday. We left  just before 6:00 a.m. and hit Vegas around 11:00 for lunch. Scotty wanted to try a place called Sayulitas: Home of the Big Ass Burrito! 

Sayulitas

This photo doesn’t adequately portray the size of the burritos. They were about the size of my forearm.

Loaded fries

Let’s just say that two big ass burritos, three quesadillas, five rolled tacos, and a plate of loaded fries were way beyond the threshold of “too much food” for 6 people. 

The drive from Vegas to Newport is always kind of miserable for me. This time was no exception. Gas in Baker was nearly $7 a gallon (luckily we didn’t need any. We stopped for bathrooms, though, and I just really hate Baker). We always hit traffic after Victorville, and that happened right on cue. Our kids fought for the last three hours straight and had us daydreaming that we could just Uber them to the coast. Or back home. 

But we made it safely, and our van didn’t collapse into a heap of junk yard donations, so we can’t complain!

In Newport, we kept our activities pretty low-key since we’re all still broke from Florida. We hung out at the pool, went to a couple of beaches, enjoyed some feasting opportunities (Thanksgiving dinner included), and played games at the condo. Our kids were turds. They fought everywhere we went - all day, everyday. 

Newport Beach

There were a lot of pelicans 

Nicky doing handstands at low tide

(Those are seashells under his hands. Ew)

Crystal Cove on Thanksgiving morning

Crystal Cove

Thanksgiving table at the condo

Post-turkey swimming session

Post-turkey Super Scrabble session

(Amber won)

We ended our Thanksgiving sitting poolside by the fire, and topped things off with a rowdy round of Heads Up.

(Imagine Scotty and Nicky simultaneously trying to get Tim to guess “Shakira” by swiveling their hips, which do not lie).

Unfortunately we had to check out on Friday morning. Tim and Amber moved to another hotel for their anniversary and then flew home Saturday. Our family left at 8:00 a.m. and drove to Henderson for the night. The kids fought the entire time.

We stopped at a wetlands reserve and walked a couple of miles. We didn’t see anything too exciting - just a few small birds, two cranes, a couple of rabbits, and a ton of scat. 

And the kids fought.

From there we headed to the cactus garden at Ethel M’s chocolate factory to see the Christmas lights.

And the kids fought.

We stopped at Smith’s and bought some food to take to the hotel for dinner. 

And the kids fought. 

But eventually, they also slept for a while before they woke up and fought some more.

We were going to stop in Saint George on the way home for some activities, but we decided we just needed to get our kids home where they could be separated onto different floors for family vacation rehabilitation. 

Despite the fighting, it was fun to get away with Tim and Amber. Luckily they got along much better than our kids!

The End of Cinderella

Last week was a little bit hectic as the high school finished their production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. Scotty and I had the chance to help out with the musical, and Nicky was part of the ensemble. We have loved being involved in the musicals these past two school years, and now that this year’s performances have ended, I just wanted to write some thoughts. 

There are some things I really appreciate about our school’s musical experience. I can’t say our school is “better than” other schools (I honestly have no idea - I’ve never been involved in theatre until now, and I haven’t seen any other high schools’ performances, so I have nothing to compare), but I think rather highly of our theatre department. 

Our theatre teacher is an alumina so she has history with the school. One thing she does that I love is that she is willing to work with a huge cast. There is a lot of interest and participation in the musicals at our school, and the teacher configures the cast so that 80-100 kids can be involved. It makes for a very crowded stage, but I think it’s really cool that she gives so many kids the experience and the chance to try out theatre. If not for this, I don’t know if Nicky ever would have discovered his own interest in theatre and musicals. 

She also relies heavily on parental and community involvement. The number of hands that work together to pull off these shows is incredible. Parents sew costumes, build the set, sell concessions, bring meals for the cast, style hair, take promotional photos, and more. It’s actually really good for me to see this happen because I’m not of the belief that “many hands make light work” (I’m more of the “get out of the way and let me do it” type), but in this case, it’s actually true. 

I had a Proud Mama experience with this year’s musical that I want to document. For the auditions, the kids had to learn and perform some choreography on the spot, but if they wanted to go for a “higher” part of the cast, they needed to learn some additional choreography at home via video. Nicky decided that he wanted to put forth the effort to learn the extra choreography. He said, “I know I’m not the greatest dancer, but I want to show the teachers that I’m willing to try.” I thought this was great and fully encouraged it. 

Nicky asked Daisy to help him learn the dance, so he and Daisy stayed up late one night working through the choreography (Nicky is too big for our house, and hit his arms and head on the basement ceiling several times while practicing his dance moves). After his audition, I asked how he did, and Nicky said, “It went really well! I know I’m not The Best, but I know I did my best, so I’m happy with it.”

(Sadly, the day before was his singing audition, which had not gone well).

That weekend, the cast list was released, and Nicky found out that he would get to be one of the knights (as well as a villager and one of the attendees of the ball). He was completely shocked because the other guys that were cast as knights were guys he looks up to as “good performers,” and he didn’t see himself as their equal. All weekend he kept saying, “Wow! I can’t believe I’m a knight!” and then he would say, “I hope it wasn’t a mistake!” I assured him that is wasn’t a mistake. I said, “Your teacher knows you, and she knows what you can do, and she saw you make the effort in auditions. It wasn’t a mistake!”

Nicky didn’t have any lines or solos, but he got a lot more stage time this year than last year, and being a knight was the perfect role for him. The knights brought an element of comedy to the show, and Nicky played the part so well. His teacher knew exactly what she was doing, and I love that she was aware of Nicky’s talents, and she found a place for him to shine. I also love that Nicky got to have an experience where he went the extra mile, and it paid off. 

Photos courtesy of fellow “Drama Mama,” Kim

Nicky so enjoyed being a part of Cinderella, and so did I! It’s bittersweet to see it come to an end. We’re already looking forward to next year!

On This Day of Thanksgiving

I always want to post something on Thanksgiving, but I never really know what to say. Over the years, I’ve posted endless lists of things I’m grateful for (on both Thanksgiving and non-Thanksgiving days), and it’s starting to feel like it’s losing sincerity. While I am truly grateful for many things, I worry that I don’t do justice to my blessings when I write. 

Our Thanksgiving table this year

in Newport Beach!

Alas, here are a few things I’m especially grateful for today:

• My husband and children
• My home
• The opportunity to be alive, to make mistakes, and to learn and grow
• Anyone who has openly forgiven me
• Having enough
• Scotty’s job and the option to be a stay-at-home mom
• My body
• My van
• My phone (there, I said it)
• The beautiful earth

Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends!

In two minutes it will be tomorrow (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: Someday I hope to be able to write blog posts again in some format other than lists, but for now, that's all I can produce. November is quite busy (and December will be, too!) 

Fact #2: Here is the current state of my laptop: 

Please note that it is being held together by clamps, and it can't close. Also the Pepsi in the background is evidence that No Soda November didn't happen. I have renamed my efforts, "No Soda for the First Seventeen Days of November."

Fact #3: Tonight is the last performance of the high school's production of Cinderella. I've been helping the girls with their hair (ringlets, twists, and braids galore!) This will be my 9th and final shift. It's exhausting, but it's really fun to help out and get to know the kids. 

Fact #4: On January 1st, I will turn 39, which means I have one year until I turn 40. I want to do something awesome during that year - something to celebrate 40 years of life. I might be a little selfish in 2023. 

Fact #5: A few things I didn’t buy from the thrift store this week…

Fact #6: Those photos are stuck off-center. These are repercussions of phone blogging. Grumble grumble.

Fact #7: A few things I did buy from the thrift store this week…

Fact #8: Oh, but those photos are centered just fine! 

(Again with the phone blogging. Grumble, grumble).

Fact #9: I’m looking forward to decorating for Christmas, but I’m waiting patiently until after Thanksgiving. 

Fact #10: Nicky is getting his braces off in a few weeks, and I’m so excited to see what he looks like!

Things the Kids Say: Episode 19

Zoe: Mom, what is this stuff?

Me: Velteeta

Zoe: Belbeetee? 

Me: No. VEL-VEET-TAH!

Zoe: Velbeetus?

Me: Let’s just go with cheese.

—————

Scotty: I’m working on my dictuation.

Britt: You mean ‘diction?’

Scotty: Yeah, that!

—————

Zoe: Rabbits have 20,000 tastebuds, and humans only have 9,000. Except for me. I have 9,001.

(I googled this, and none of those numbers are correct).

—————

Zoe: Imagine how good German pancakes must taste to a rabbit!

—————

Eva: Are you even listening to me?

Zoe: Do I look like a girl who listens?

—————

Eva: Why is it called a ‘honeymoon?’

Zoe: Because you get to be with your honey, and you can stay up all night looking at the moon.

—————

Zoe: I’m really good at best case scenarios.

—————

Eva: Can I watch a show on your phone?

Scotty: No.

Eva: I think you said ‘yes’ wrong!

—————

Me: I must have slept weird. I have a bit of a kink in my neck.

Eva: You have a neck?

—————

Zoe: I only eat granola bars that have sprinkles or 59 chocolate chips.

—————

Eva: Where does Nicky keep his cocaine?

Me: Do you even know what cocaine is?

Eva: Yes, it’s like breath mints.

———-

Zoe: How many cousins do I have?

Me: I have no idea. Our family is so big that I can’t keep track. 

Zoe: What about Luke and Logan?

Me: They are your cousins by marriage but not by blood. They don’t have the same blood we do, but they are still our family. 

Zoe: Is it because I’m cold-blooded?

(With our combined siblings (biological, half, and step) Scotty and I have over 60 warm-blooded nieces and nephews).

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (part IX)

When you’re halfway through your daughter’s orthodontist appointment, and you realize you only put make-up on one eye.

When you’re listening to an Old Testament podcast, and the hosts keep talking about someone named Easy Kill, and you’ve never heard of someone in the Old Testament called Easy Kill, so you just go with it until half-way through the show, you finally figure out that they’re saying Ezekiel.

When you misplace your phone for an hour, and you’re absolutely positive that it will be full of texts when you find it, and then no one has actually contacted you at all.

When an elderly lady at Walmart asks you for help, and you try to assist her, and eventually you realize she thinks you work there, but you’ve let it go on to the point where you’re worried about embarrassing her, so you just do your best to help her find what she needs and hope Walmart acknowledges your spontaneous employment with a check in the mail.

When you’re at a pool, and you see someone reading a book, and you want to know what it is, so you stare a bit too long, and then she looks up at you, and you make eye contact, and it seems a lot like you just got caught checking out her boobs in her swimming suit.

When you’re wearing heels, and you misjudge the distance lowering yourself to the toilet, and you plummet the last two inches, resulting in a sound that very much makes you worry you just broke the toilet.

A Few Thoughts About Puzzles

Thought #1: I used to think puzzles were stupid. They didn’t appeal to me at all, but then Scotty and I found a puzzle at Disneyland that was a map of Disneyland, and we decided to buy it and try it out. I was surprised to find the building experience very enjoyable! 

I bought this 750 piece puzzle at DI. I absolutely loved this one. 

Thought #2: I legitimately feel like my brain works better when I’ve been working on puzzles. I feel like it sharpens my mind. 

Thought #3: I used to never want to buy puzzles from the thrift store because I was worried about missing pieces. But then, after having so many NEW puzzles that had missing pieces, I thought, “I might as well buy some used ones!”

I bought this 2,000 piece puzzle from DI. It was fun but very challenging. In the end, it was missing 5 pieces and had one piece that wasn’t even part of it!

Thought #4: Fortunately a lot of puzzle companies are willing to replace the puzzles if there is a piece missing. I appreciate that! BUT… I’ve realized, I don’t really want to do the same puzzle again! One company sent me a DIFFERENT puzzle, and I thought that was cool!

(Just to clarify, I don’t submit for replacement puzzles when I buy them from the thrift store. Only when I buy them new, and they are missing pieces).

Thought #5: Most of the time, after we’ve finished a puzzle, we give it away. If you ever want a puzzle, I’ll hook you up! Just say the words, and I’ll be on your front porch with a big grin on my face holding a puzzle from my stash that I picked just for you!

I did not like this puzzle. It made me feel mental

Thought #6: If I buy a puzzle from the thrift store, and it’s missing pieces, I throw it away after I put it together. I do my part to get puzzles with missing pieces out of circulation. 

Thought #7: Every now and then, if a puzzle is really, really good and missing a piece, I will keep it or donate it, but I clearly mark that it’s missing a piece.

Thought #8: I do more puzzles in the winter than in summer. Winter feels like “puzzle season.”

This was another DI find. All pieces present!

Thought #7: I really like Buffalo puzzles. They just have a nice fit! 

Thought #8: I don’t really like puzzles that have cabins and water and dogs on porches. Do you know the type I mean? 

Cats on the beach! What joy! Purchased from DI. All pieces accounted for!

Thought #9: I think my favorite puzzle I’ve ever done was the Costco puzzle. I mean, I wrote a blog post about it and everything!

Another DI puzzle with all the pieces!

Thought #10: Costco has a puzzle with 60,000 pieces for $599. If I ever win the Power Ball, I’m going for it. It’s actually broken down into 60 1,000 piece puzzles. That feels a bit like cheating, but it also makes me feel like maybe I could handle it. I’ll also have to rent an apartment with an open floor plan where I can work on my puzzle for two years straight. 

A very poor photo of another DI puzzle - this one was missing 2 pieces

Thought #11: My happy place - where I am challenged but not overwhelmed - is 750-1,000 pieces. When I’ve been doing a lot of 1,000 piece puzzles, a 750 feels nice and relaxing. I tried to do a 300 piece puzzle the other day, and it wasn’t interesting or fun. 

Thought #12: The image on the puzzle is important. I like to have lots of things and parts that are easy to discern. I don’t mind a little bit of sky and landscape, but it can’t dominate the image. The shape of the pieces also matters. I would not enjoy a puzzle with uniform pieces. 

This one is from my friend Julie. 

So… when can I bring you a puzzle?