If you know...

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #2: 

IYKYK

(If you know, you know)

The love and convenience of kitchen shears. 

I just got a new set a few weeks ago, and my admiration for kitchen shears is renewed. I like to have at least three pair because I use them multiple times a day. 

One might wonder how I could possibly have such a need for kitchen shears, but IYKYK.

My Bird Era

There are a lot of memes and jokes about how you start to like birds when you get old. I didn’t think it would happen to me, and yet, yesterday I found myself slowly creeping toward the bay window in my living room to get a closer look at a downy woodpecker in my tree without startling it.

I think every single friend I have has sent me this at some point. It makes me laugh so much every time!

When I was a teenager, and Scotty was on his mission, his mom would often take me on bird watching adventures. We went to the Great Salt Lake, the dump, Tracy Aviary, and various bird refuges. I don’t know why I went - I had no interest in birds, and honestly, I suffered. I must’ve been bored and lonely.

I never thought I’d give a hoot about birds (see what I did there?) but then in 2020, I ordered the bird-inspired board game Wingspan for myself for my birthday, and a pandemic hit and made life so slow and boring that birds suddenly became one of the most exciting parts of my existence. I downloaded the Wingsong app that lets you scan the cards from Wingspan and hear the bird calls. Then I downloaded Merlin Bird ID, which helps you identify birds by either sound or photo. I started going places to purposely look for birds - like the Great Salt Lake Shorelands and the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge. I even went to the dump and got an annual pass at Tracy Aviary.

We put birdhouses and bird feeders in our backyard. We ended up getting rid of the birdhouses, though, because we had a few batches of baby birds die in them, and we felt like murderers (and cleaning them out isn’t fun). So now we feed the birds, but we don’t provide them with lodging.

I’ve also become very set on taking photos of uncommon birds, as if I’m going to need to prove someday that I saw a grey heron by Target (true story). There’s a technique that anyone who takes photos of birds can relate to. You have to start taking pictures from way far back just in case the bird flies away. Then you sneak closer and take another photo… sneak closer and take another photo…sneak closer and take another photo… until the bird flies off. Which it will. Because birds do that sort of thing. 

Absolute truth.

So I unintentionally became a bit of a bird nerd. In fact, my friend Lynsie gave me a bird themed gift for my 40th birthday with a Bird Nerd shirt, a Nice Tits mug, and a bird sticker pack. 

But here’s the thing… sometimes I still hate birds.

Like in the summer when there are hundreds of them in our front tree every morning, and they chirp for two hours straight (4:00-6:00 am). 

SHUT UP, BIRDS!

And when magpies perch on our window frames and peck at the siding of our house.

And when geese leave their big, green, juicy turds all over the sidewalk and grass (sorry I got so graphic there).

And when robins dart at my head and ruffle my hair because they laid eggs in my yard, and I have the audacity to go outside and try and water my garden. 

And I really don’t like grackles. Them and their weird, beady eyes, and their parking lot lifestyles, and their annoying screeches. 

Ugh. Birds. The relationship is complicated. 

One thing I have to say about birds, though, is that love them or hate them, I really stink at identifying them. Thank heavens for the aforementioned Merlin Bird ID app because without it, I’d just call everything a penguin, much to my mother-in-law’s dismay.

The app is probably what has made bird watching the most exciting. It’s really fun to walk through a park or other bird-y area and scan for bird songs to see what’s around. A few years ago at Young Women camp I got out of bed really early and was tiptoeing around camp between everyone’s tents like a creeper holding my phone out as it scanned for birds. To anyone who doesn’t know what I’m doing when I’m scanning for birds (which is mostly everyone) I probably look like a total weirdo.

So even though there are some things about birds that still annoy me, I’ve mostly crossed over to Bird Enjoyment. I guess you could say I’m in my Bird Era. 

Mom and Dad Til the End of Time

Back in May, Scotty and I went on a quick trip to Disneyland for our 20th Anniversary. In some ways, this made us feel young, wild, and carefree. But then when I saw the photos (like the one below), I was like, "Oh dear! We’re so old!" (said in Sultan voice)

The photos made me realize that, even when we don’t have kids with us, we are a mom and a dad. I mean, look at us!

I am such a mom! And Scotty is such a dad!

We were never supposed to be like this. We truly believed that we would always be cool and “with the times” (nevermind the fact that we weren't ever cool when we were actually young).

Here are some things that Scotty does that make him such a dad:

He wears an ugly hat to keep the sun off his head and neck.

He eats whatever our kids leave on their plates. 

When people drive fast up the street, he goes out on the porch and gives them the stink eye.

He tells dad jokes. Example:

Me: I’m going to run to the store and grab some milk.

Scotty: It would be faster if you drove.

He falls asleep anywhere, any time, and then he wakes up randomly and yells at everyone because he thinks they’re misbehaving, but they’re really just doing normal, non-sleeping things.

He has a dad bod.

He thinks everyone needs to be in bed by 8:00.

He yells at the neighbor’s dog from inside the house.

He pushes the lock button for the truck at least three times before he goes to bed.

He waves at everyone who drives by (as long as they are going the speed limit).

He digs coupons out of the garbage can.

He’s always telling us how much the cost of gas went up in the last 24 hours.

Here are some things I do that make me such a mom:

I ask my kids and all their friends if they are wearing sunscreen.

I answer to, “Mom!” even when it’s someone else’s kid.

I force everyone to eat my snacks.

I ask things like “Have you pooped today?” “Is there a chance you’ll start your period on vacation?” “Did you flush?” “Did you say thank you?” 

I think driving a mini van is a real treat.

I tell my kids that drinking water is the solution to every problem. 

I wear hideous knee-length shorts.

I went to high school with my kids’ friends’ moms. 

I have Bandaids stashed everywhere… kitchen drawer, wallet, glove box.

I stand outside of bathroom stalls and say, “Every last drop! Make sure you get EVERY. LAST. DROP!”

I’ve picked out my oldest children’s spouses. 

——-

There’s no getting away from it. We are what we are. Mom and Dad til the end of time.

Small and Simple Excitement

You might have noticed that I have a lot to say lately. I’ve been pumping out blog posts left and right, and I have several drafts underway. I don’t know where this comes from, but I’ll just keep going until I hit my next bout of writer’s block. 

Today I’m feeling inspired by Garbage Day.

I love Garbage Day. Enough so that I’ve made it a proper noun - capital G, capital D. 

Garbage Day.

(Weird things I do at 7:00 am: go out in the street and take photos of my garbage cans, then add fake lens flare so it appears that the sun is shining down on them like a blessed gift).

I always feel really good about life when I get all the trash out of my house. I often refer to it as “cleaning the arteries of my home.” Do you realize how lucky we are that we can put garbage out in front of our house and have it taken away? Can you imagine how quickly things would get out of control and unsanitary if we didn’t have this amazing privilege?

During COVID, Garbage Day was the most exciting day of the week. Even though it’s not quite as exciting as it was during those days of lockdown, I still always look forward to it. 

My overexcitement for Garbage Day got me thinking about other ordinary things I’m abnormally enthusiastic about:

Thing 1: Fresh black top and paint lines 

I get so excited whenever I see a newly coated street or parking lot with crisp, vibrant paint. It’s so pleasing! So visible! So amazing! 

Thing 2: When new “Readers Choice” books are released at the library 

Our county library system releases a list of books twice a year that patrons can read and vote on to determine a winner. There is a special shelf for Readers Choice books, and they get tons of fresh copies of the books (which gives me the same satisfaction as new asphalt and paint on the road). They issue a pamphlet that lists all the books with their synopses. I always get the pamphlets and look up every book on Goodreads and make a list of the ones I want to read. I have found several amazing books from this (as well as a ton of dumb ones, but one of the great things about Readers Choice is that they select a wide range of genres and interests to appeal to). 

The newest Readers Choice books came out last week! My list is ready!

Thing 3: Buy one get one free coupons

Need I say more?

Thing 4: Dogs with their heads hanging out of car windows

I don’t think there’s anyone happier on this earth than a dog with its head hanging out of a car window. I can’t help but experience complete joy whenever I see one! And I’m not even a dog person! 

Thing 5: New plates for my plate racks

I’m still really happy with the plate racks Scotty and I built for our kitchen a few years ago. I love finding and trying new plate arrangements. Changing the plates for the holidays and seasons brings me joy, and I find most of them at the thrift store or on clearance, so I don’t even feel guilty if I display them one time and donate them right back.

This is my current setup (I just took down my 4th of July plates). I found the chargers at Hobby Lobby for 75% off last year, and I just got the bee plates from Dollar Tree the other day. 

Thing 6: Becoming familiar with audiobook narrators 

After listening to audiobooks for the past several years, I recognize the names and voices of many narrators. There are ones I love and ones I don’t care for. And the sad thing about this is that there are very few people I can have conversations on this topic with. 

One time I geeked out because I found someone else on this earth who could list off several books narrated by Julia Whelan, and we both sat there flapping our hands going, 

“Oh yes! She did some of Kristin Hannah’s books!”

“And she did, like five of the books we’ve read for book club!”

“You’re right! I didn’t even realize that, but yes! She read The Giver of Stars and Educated!”

“And The Measure and the Invisible Life of Addie LaRue!”

“I don’t like how she does men’s voices, though.”

“I agree!”

“Do you want to talk about Imogen Church now!

“YES!!!”

Thing 7: Squirrels in my neighborhood

Dug is my spirit animal. When I see a squirrel, nothing else matters. Especially if it is leaping from fence to tree limb like a fuzzy, little acrobat!

Thing 8: Thrift store finds

I love a good thrift store purchase! Especially when it’s exactly what I’m looking for! But I also have a special place in my heart for the totally weird things I find second-hand, like this gem:

Thing 9: Hearing or seeing birds around my house that aren’t “the usuals”

The most common birds in my yard are sparrows, starlings, doves, and robins, and they’re all old and boring to me. Anytime I see or hear a bird that’s not one of those four, I get really excited! It’s especially thrilling to see a bird of prey (except for turkey vultures because they hang out down the street from us - ever circling). Every few years we’ll get a peregrine falcon or a hawk stalking our chickens. 

Thing 10: When my kids are interested in something I like

My kids mostly think everything I love and enjoy in this world is old and outdated, but every now and then, we will have a common interest, and it can be very delightful. You like a song from my junior high days? Yippee! You want to watch Lost with me? Maybe you really are my daughter! 

I have to play it cool, though, and I can’t let them see my excitement. 

Thing 11: Every blooming flower and every inch of growth in my garden

Confession: I love my garden. Like, really, really love my garden. Every little blossom and every little sprout makes me so happy. 

Baby bell peppers!

Thing 12: Beating Scotty at board games

I wish it happened more often. I don’t want to win every time (that would be boring and predictable, and I still want to be challenged), but I wouldn’t mind if the tables tipped a little more in my direction. 

—————

I hope you have something small and simple to get excited about today!

Managing the Monsters

You may recall that a monster was recently unleashed when Scotty and I built some plate racks to hang over the kitchen table. Shall we call it the "Plate Monster?" It's not a very exciting name, but it fits the situation. Anyway, the newly dubbed Plate Monster surfaced, and I have since wanted to buy every plate I see. 

The Plate Monster walked away from these plates at WinCo a few weeks ago and wondered if she would regret it. I ask you... what is a Plate Monster to do? Today I was able to purchase them at 75% off - $1.22 each! A win for the Plate Monster!

(The Plate Monster bought monster plates!)

I've got to get this Monster under control because there are other monsters surfacing now. Like the Christmas Decor Monster who wants to put out the Christmas decorations and the Shopping Monster who is always operating at full force this time of year. 

Combined, the Christmas Decor Monster and the Shopping Monster are dangerous, but adding a Plate Monster into the mix is a whole new beast. Not to mention the love children of the Christmas Decor Monster and the Shopping Monster: the Holiday Candle Monster and the Puzzle Monster. 

Must... buy... all the candles...

Must... buy... all the puzzles...

The Shopping Monster and the Puzzle Monster went

to Hobby Lobby and came back with this

I need Marie Kondo and Dave Ramsey to stage an intervention. 

"Spark joy!"

"Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else!"

I also need to stay home and cancel the WiFi so the Monsters won't be tempted... right after my scented candle order arrives this afternoon. 

An Amateur’s Chalk Art Tutorial

Lately, I've found solace through simple activities like coloring on my sidewalk. It may seem like a silly way to spend my time, but it's keeping me stable, and it's something I can do with my kids that we all enjoy.

Since there is very little in the way of "how to's" on the internet when it comes to sidewalk art (or "street painting" - as the cool kids call it), I thought I'd do a little overview of techniques and supplies. Here's the thing, though: I am super amateur. I know next to nothing about art and art supplies, so I feel like I'm the wrong person to be doing this. But someone should do it, right? So just know that this is what I've discovered in my experiences with chalk art, and it may or may not be quality information.

First let's talk supplies.

Traditional children's sidewalk chalk is always fun, but it's very limited in colors, and it isn't very vivid. 

To expand your color palette, you can use soft pastels (not to be confused with oil pastels. Don't use oil pastels!) Soft pastels can be found in most craft or hobby stores or on Amazon. I recently found some very inexpensive sets at Ross. 

This package of soft pastels was $3.99 at Ross

Fresh pastels give me that "new crayon" feeling from elementary school

I've purchased and tried several brands, and thus far, they’ve all seemed equal in quality. That might not be so if I were doing "real art," but with coloring on the ground, I haven't noticed much of a difference between brands. I've bought packages that come with very small pastels and some with larger sticks. There are pros and cons to both. Either way, they “spend” quickly.

My container of "scrap" chalk of various sizes

This gives me the "old crayon" feeling, but they are still useful

With the smaller pastels, I obviously run out of a single color faster. I've started blending multiple shades to make my colors last longer. For example, if I'm coloring something blue, I’ll usually color the outer edges with a darker shade of blue and then color the inside with a lighter shade of blue (Or vice versa) and then blend the blues together with foam. 

I like to have a good supply of black chalk for outlining. I go through a lot of black chalk, and the multicolored sets usually only have one stick of black. 

A package of black chalk

A package of "grayscale" chalk

I like to use inexpensive white chalkboard chalk or sidewalk chalk for my initial drawing (no reason to use the expensive stuff for this part).

Another supply I like to have is some type of foam for blending. Most packages of pastels come with a foam insert like this:

Foam insert from a package of soft pastels

This is perfect for breaking off a piece and using it to blend the chalk. I also bought this square of white foam to use for blending. I just tear off a piece when I need it. As you can see, we've touched it with our very messy hands, so it's taken on chalk dust color, but it still does the job! I use a fresh piece of foam for each color, otherwise they mix.

Break off pieces of foam to use for blending

Speaking of messy hands, I like to keep a package of baby wipes in my supply bucket so I can wipe the chalk off my fingers when I switch colors. My kids wander off with the wipes sometimes, so in that case, I rinse my fingers with the hose or wipe them on my pants. Just a note: don't dress nice while doing chalk art. In fact, if you can't handle "messy," this probably isn't a great pastime for you. 

The mess is part of the experience

A cheap can of hairspray is handy for setting the color and helping it stay longer. With using hairspray as a fixative, I'm able to drive over my artwork with minimal damage - maybe just a minor tire streak or two. Prior to hairspraying, the drawings smear easily. 

Tempera paint really ups your street art possibilities. When I wrote this post, I hadn't yet tried tempera paint. Within the next week, I purchased some and gave it a go. I really love using the paint for large areas. It's a lot easier than trying to fill it with chalk, and it gets much better coverage. 

For example, Olaf's white base is paint, and then I used the soft pastels to do all of the details. It would have been a pain to color Olaf’s entire figure in white chalk. I used two coats of paint. It dries pretty fast in the heat.

Olaf is mostly made of paint

Mike Wazowski's green base is also paint. I then used chalk to add darker green shading and other details to Mike. 

I originally bought a multi-pack of washable paint to experiment with (the brand was labeled "washable" and did not have the word "tempera" on it - either is fine. The goal is that it is washable/temporary). It worked fine. But then Daisy and I found tempera paint at Dollar Tree, which was pretty exciting! 

Tempera paint from Dollar Tree

Obviously if you use paint, you're going to want to have some paint brushes, too! A small roller is great for covering large areas. I've found that small pieces of rock/cement get embedded in the rollers and won’t come out, but it hasn't been a problem. I've washed and reused my rollers with the tiny rocks in them, and they still work just fine. I'm painting on cement, after all.

Paint brushes

Here's a consolidated list of chalk art supplies:

• Soft pastels
• Cheap white chalkboard chalk
• Black pastels
• Foam for blending and smudging
• Baby wipes or a wet rag for wiping fingers clean
• Hairspray 
• Tempera paint
• Paint brushes and rollers

Now let's talk about some techniques. 

I have to have a visual to draw from, so I always search images on my phone for inspiration. I find that "clipart" is usually pretty easy to replicate as it's simplified. 

I start by using my cheap chalkboard chalk (or a piece of "scrap chalk" that is light in color) to draw my picture. This allows for errors. As you can see here, I redraw my lines over and over to get them right.

Sketch of Baby Dory in white chalk

If I end up with too many extra white lines, I use some foam to blend the lines I won’t be using so they cover more easily when I start working with the color.

I usually fill in the "biggest" color first. I don't try get full coverage by coloring with the chalk (this will make the chalk run out very quickly). Instead, I just do a good scribble, and then I use a piece of foam to blend it - which spreads the color and fills it in.

Blue scribbles to start with

Blending the color with a piece of foam

Chalk dust

There will be some chalk dust that lingers. I used to try and blow it away or make it settle more into the cement, but it made things messy and sometimes ruined my pictures. I've found that the better option is to leave the dust alone and spray over it lightly with hairspray. Hold the hairspray kind of high so it doesn't over-saturate the chalk. If the colors lighten or fade from the hairspray, touch them up after the hairspray dries. They spray them again. 

Dory's first spritz

I usually do my base color and give it a spray to set it. Then as I add additional layers of color, I spray again on top of each layer. 

Starting the details of Dory's eyes

A quick note on smudging and blending:

Using my finger to blend the white of Dory's eye

In large areas I use foam to blend the chalk, but there are times when I prefer to use my finger, such as when there are fine lines or small areas. I use a very light touch because I have rubbed off the tip of my fingers before. It's painful and doesn't heal quickly. Make sure to wipe the colors off your fingers before you start using your fingers to blend. If you have magenta fingers, and you start rubbing the whites of an eyeball, you will quickly find yourself with a case of pink eye!

Once I've added all the details and blended the colors where needed, I usually outline my pictures in black. 

The outline helps make the shapes more distinct, and it also helps cover up flaws. I trace my finger lightly over the black outline to help it blend a bit. Then I give everything one last spritz of hairspray!

Now we better talk about the worst part... clean-up. I mentioned this in a recent post, but I'll go over it again just so the information is in one place. 

Everything washes off... eventually. Some colors, like red and black, linger for a long time. One way to speed up the cleaning process is to spray a little water on the painting and let it sit for a minute. Then put some Dawn dish soap on it and scrub it with a brush. Obviously this is more work than anyone wants to do, but if you need the pictures gone faster, this is one way to do it. Even with that effort, some of the color will likely linger. The longer the picture has been there, the harder it is to wash off. Another option is to use a pressure washer, but even with that, there will still be a little bit of lingering color. With time, it will come off.  

I've really enjoyed making chalk art creations - it’s keeping me sane right now. Pretty soon, I'll retire for the season because it will be too hot, but in the meantime, I'm happy to have a hobby that brings me joy. 

Our Top Ten Board Games of 2019

For the past 12 years, we've had regular game nights with our friends, Chad and Carlie. We started this tradition when our first children (born 8 days apart) were babies. Now we each have four children - same ages, opposite genders - and we are still going strong. 

We try to have Game Night at least once a month, but we are always open for more (and devastated when we have to miss a month). We begin at 4:00 on Saturdays. We alternate between houses, and we always have dinner! 

Two years ago we started keeping a Game Night Ledger because disputes arose over how frequently Scotty wins (45% of the time). 

The other night, Scotty and I referred to the Ledger to see what our top ten board games were in 2019, based on number of times played. There were a lot of ties, but here are the games we played the most in 2019:

#10: Qwirkle, Hacienda, Agricola, Risk, & Princes of Florence

(See what I mean by 'a lot of ties?')

Qwirkle is a pretty simple tile-building game (a little like dominoes with a twist of Uno in that you can either match the color or the shape). This is a game we reserve for the end of the night when we still feel like playing, but our brains are fried and we don't know how long our children will last. 

In Hacienda you use your resources to acquire land and animals. As you control more space on the board, and take your animals to market, you accumulate more money or points. 

(And if you're wondering, yes! There are pigs, so you can take your little piggies to market!)

Risk is an old classic, and we love it, but there are a lot of holes in the rules that we end up researching on forums. Scotty and Chad have different versions of Risk, so it varies depending on whose house we are playing at. We have done world domination, but we usually opt for mission Risk so we can get more games in. Scotty's version is single-mission, while in Chad's version, we have four missions. It's the four-mission version that raises the most questions.

Agricola is a fun and stressful tableau-building game where you are a farmer, and you have all sorts of things to accomplish - plant your crops, raise your animals, build your house, and heck! On top of all that, you have to feed your family. I'm stressed just thinking about it! And yet, I love this game so much!

We have played with the Farmers of the Moor expansion, but we prefer the original game.  In the expansion, you have to have fuel to heat your home, and we can barely feed our families, let alone keep them warm and cozy!

Princes of Florence is another tableau-building game (that's a game where each player has components that they build their board with in front of them, and what you have in front of you usually manipulates the game by controlling what actions you can take or how many points you acquire - does your brain hurt right now? Yeah, so does mine). In this game, you are artists trying to complete your work to get points. 

#9: Karma

Karma is a card game wherein there is a single loser declared. According to the Ledger, I am that loser more often than not. So I vote that we never play Karma again!

(Just kidding)

(Kind of)

#8: Bohnanza

Bohnanza is a bit of a tableau-building/card game combination. In this game, you grow fields of beans and harvest them for points. You can trade beans with other players, which begs the question - do you scratch my back, and I scratch yours? Or should we try to sabotage each other by being stingy and keeping our resources from one another?

Side note: I recently tried a round of Bohnanza with the "What Would Jesus Do" approach. I lost. 

#7, 6, 5: Dead Man's Draw, Coup, & Ticket to Ride: Europe

Dead Man's Draw is a pirate-themed card game with a bit of gambling involved. On your turn, you flip over cards. You can take risks and continue to flip cards, or you can play it safe and quit while you're ahead. Each card dictates what actions you must take next, and if you flip over doubles, you get nothing!

Coup is a role-playing card game where each player has two roles. If you catch a player lying, you knock out one of their roles. But if you think they're lying, and they're not, oops! It's your character that dies!

Ticket to Ride has been a hit for quite some time. We have played several versions of it, but Europe is our favorite. In this game, you build railroad systems to get to certain destinations. You also anger your friends by blocking their routes (not that we know from experience - ahem).

#4: Cover Your Assets

Cover Your Assets is a card game where you try to hang on to your assets before someone else steals them. This is a good one to play with kids because it's pretty easy to learn and simple enough for them to understand. 

#3, 2: Splendor & Love Letter

Splendor is an engine-building game where you acquire jewels. As your personal stash of jewels grows, the cost of buying more jewels decreases. As with many games of this variety, you have to decide between various strategies, and there is no one strategy that's guaranteed every time. You have to adapt to how the game goes. 

Love Letter is really easy to learn. It's a quick card game where you use process of elimination to try and figure out who holds the Princess card. This is another game we play at the end of game night when our brains are fried. 

#1: 7 Wonders

This has been our favorite board game for the past three years. In fact, 7 Wonders was also our most-played game of 2018! It's a tableau-building game where everyone has their own board in front of them and the board determines how the game is manipulated. This game is unique in that everyone takes their actions at once (i.e. you don't take turns). 

We have the "Leaders" expansion and the "Wonder Pack" expansion. I enjoy the Leaders, but I don't really care for the wonder boards that came in the Wonder Pack (though laughing at Manneken Pis every time it's chosen for play will never get old). 

----------------------------

We've already had our first Game Night of 2020 with a second one scheduled (that's two for January! We are off to a great start!) We're hoping to try out my birthday board game:

This game has great reviews and was hard to get my hands on! The scarcity made me want it even more! And I don't even like birds!

Also, it was designed by a woman, which is pretty cool.