Sunday Sentiments - Healing and Prayer

Ten years ago I read the book Life Lessons Learned by Dallin H. Oaks. In the book he wrote about how, when he was a child, his father was hospitalized for six months with tuberculosis which eventually took his life. During his illness, President Oaks' father was given multiple priesthood blessings stating that he would be healed. Instead, he passed away leaving his wife a young widow. The outcome was devastating and confusing. 

You can read an account of that story here.

Cases like this can be a bit of a stumbling block for me. If the power of the priesthood is real and the individual is truly speaking by the Spirit, why would he pronounce that a person will be healed if that is not God's will? 

I don't know the answer to that, but one thing that helps me reconcile it is President Oaks' example. He lost his father despite promises of healing, yet, he didn't lose his faith. The other thing that helps me is knowing that Jesus Christ, himself, pleaded with the Father, "May this cup pass from me," but it wasn't to be. 

"Thy will be done" is the hardest thing I'll ever have to practice in mortality. 

One of my loved ones is currently in a dire health situation, and we are hoping and praying for many miracles. A priesthood blessing has been administered, and promises of healing have been made, and now we wait on the Lord's will. While we wait, I've been reading up a little on priesthood blessings and healing, and these are a few things that have stuck with me: 

1. One of the ways we can be blessed with healing is through medical science. We are not to rely on prayer alone - President Oaks stated, "The use of medical science is not at odds with our prayers of faith and our reliance on priesthood blessings." (Source).

2. Faith is essential to being healed. Jesus Christ always pronounced thy faith hath made thee whole (example: Matthew 9:22). A blessing may be spoken, but it is not the words that heal the individual. It is their own faith. 

We also need to acknowledge that not being healed doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of faith. It all comes down to the Lord's will. 

3. Receiving multiple priesthood blessings does not increase the odds of being healed. President Kimball told a story of a Sister who, after a priesthood blessing, was asked the next day if she would like to be administered to again, and she responded, "No... the ordinance has been performed. It is up to me now to claim my blessing through my faith." (Source). 

4. The words spoken in a blessing are not essential to the blessing's healing effect. 

This is where things get hard. Ideally, the priesthood holder will be in tune with the Spirit and will speak by the Spirit, and the blessings offered will be the Lord's will. However, President Oaks taught a few things on this matter:

- Every Elder experiences increases and decreases in his sensitivity to the Spirit

- Every Elder is influenced by his desires for the afflicted person

- Mortal imperfections can influence the words that are spoken

So a person may be healed beyond what is pronounced and promised in the blessing, but a person also may not be healed according to what is stated in the blessing. I understand this, but I also don't understand this. This is where I get tripped up a bit, but I won't elaborate further. I am just going to continue to look to the prophet as an example in this matter, and do my best to be faithful in times of healing and in times of not healing. 

One of the most important lessons I've learned about prayer comes from the Bible Dictionary which states, "Prayer is the act by which the will of the father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of blessings."

So we can always ask for what we want or think we need, and we might be granted those things, but Heavenly Father - our God that sees things from all angles - might have a different plan, and one of the purposes of prayer to is to seek that plan and trust it. 

September Writing Challenge

As per tradition, it's time for the September Writing Challenge. It's just a little thing I do each year where, during the month of September, I write blog posts based on a list of prompts. Sometimes I have friends join me and do this on their blogs or in their social media, so feel free to use my list or create your own! I always have 35 prompts (because sometimes I just don't feel it, so I need a few extra options). I do how ever many I want - no pressure to post daily or in any particular order (I always mix it up). Here's to Round IX!

The Prompts:

1. Friendship
2. Different
3. Focus
4. Positive
5. Doodle
6. Opportunity
7. Sometimes
8. Let it be known
9. On that topic
10. Basket
11. Revisit
12. On my nightstand
13. In my car
14. In my purse
15. Right Now
16. Words
17. Survival Mode
18. Important
19. Quirky
20. Forgotten
21. And I Quote
22. Waste
23. On the Daily
24. 11:00
25. Back in the Day
26. Recycle
27. Not Important
28. Winning
29. Outside
30. Together
31. On a Mission
32. Chaos
33. Heaven Help Us!
34. Somebody
35. Day Off

Backstreet's Back (Alright!)

A few months ago I got a text from my childhood best friend turned sister-in-law saying that her husband (my brother-in-law, try to stay with me here) wanted to buy us Backstreet Boys tickets for Mother’s Day! We found a date in August for four of us - Michelle, Lynsie, Amber, and me - to go. Lynsie’s brother owns a home in Vegas, and he let us stay there, so we had an amazing girls’ trip this past weekend. We are all tired, old ladies who just needed a little break from life, so we took it easy (other than the Backstreet Boys part) and spent the weekend eating good food and lounging by the pool. 

Here are some thoughts from our Backstreet Boys experience:

Thought 1: Our seats were on the very back row of the Sphere, and I didn't hate it! In fact, I would seek out those seats again for another event. Since most of the Sphere experience is the projections on the screen, I don't know if it really matters if you're closer to the stage or not. It was nice not having anyone behind us, there was a little ledge behind our seats where we could put our stuff (instead of on the floor under our seats, and we entered from the top so we didn't have to go up the stairs to get to our seats. 

Party on the back row

Thought 2: Everyone there looked so ridiculous, but it was amazing. I just felt so happy for everyone living their best lives! I wish we'd gotten to the Sphere just a little bit early to watch people (I love people watching. In fact, I would say that people watching and eavesdropping are two of my favorite past times). 

Thought 3: Since everyone is dressed in white, it's hard to find your friends when you get separated in the crowds. In hindsight, I'd slap a glowstick on everyone or make them wear something flashy that stands out. 

Thought 4: It really does feel like you're in a cult! We parked at Treasure Island and walked through the Venetian and into the Sphere, and I loved how as we got closer and closer to the venue, we began joining with more cult members. It started with a few people in white, and as we progressed toward the event, the white got thicker and thicker until we were all marching toward the arena in unison. 

Thought 5: The funniest part of the cult experience is seeing everyone going up the escalators in the Sphere dressed in white like they are all ascending to heaven (that's one of the good parts about having seats at the highest level, we made it to the top of heaven. Very few of us made it that far!

Heading up the escalators

Thought 6: This was my first time attending a "residency" performance. Between that and the venue, it felt a little different than any concert I've ever been to. I started to think of it as more of a "show" than a "concert." There were no live instruments and no encore. I was bummed there wasn't an encore because I feel like that's part of the experience - pretending the Backstreet Boys went away but then having them come back out and sing one last, epic song! They didn't give us that. 

Thought 7: I took a hand fan, and I was so glad I did because I was so hot and sweaty. Plus it came in handy when we got crop dusted.

Rough moments

Thought 8: Some of the graphics were wiggety wack. Who made those artistic choices? 

Nothing really prepares you for the Backstreet Boys mountain

Thought 9: The beginning of the show was awesome. I felt like I was on a Disneyland ride (something between Star Tours and Space Mountain. I kept saying, "Whoaaaaaa!" 

Thought 10: The show was so much fun, and it was a blast to get to return to an old era of my life. I danced and sang my heart out to Backstreet Boys all through junior high and high school (as well as other boys bands - I didn't know that we were supposed to choose a camp between NSYNC and Backtsreet Boys. I loved them all!) It was great seeing everyone embrace the era and have a great time!

How old are they anyway?

Go team!

Show Me the Money

When we started our family, we wanted to put some things into place to help our kids learn about money. This is kind of a hard thing because you have to choose what you expect your kids to pay for, and what the family economy will be like. There are a lot of opinions about things like whether kids should have jobs in high school and whether they should be given allowance. 

When I was in school for my Marriage and Family Relations degree, this was a topic that came up in a few different courses. The research varies, so suffice it to say, there are a lot of different ways to handle money in a family, and various methods have good outcomes. I know a family that didn't allow their kids to have jobs while they were in school, and now those kids are all successful adults whose incomes have far surpassed their parents'. I know families whose kids were expected to work and pay their way for everything, and they, too, are very successful, affluent adults. So when it comes to kids and money, there's no perfect way, but there are many ways that work out. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to model living below your means, and be grateful for what you have. 

A few things we have implemented with our kids in regards to money are:

1. Starting a savings for them early on

From the time our kids were babies, they've received some gifts in the form of money. We put that money in the bank - even if it was just $20 a year. As they got older, they started being more aware of their birthday and Christmas money, so occasionally, it doesn’t make it into the bank, but about 75% of the money they've received as gifts has gone into the bank. This hasn't amounted to tons of money, but it's something. 

2. We give unconditional allowance

That makes them sound spoiled, but it's $5 every two weeks when they are little (to match our pay day, they also get pay day), and then when they get older, it's $10. So it's seriously next to nothing. The purpose is to give them the opportunity to practice having money. They need the chance to make stupid decisions. They need to learn to save or wait for things, and anticipating a few dollars every two weeks helps them do that. 

I am also always willing to come up with a plan for them to earn some money if they want to. 

3. We pay for what they need as long as they are being responsible

We cover the expenses of their extracurricular activities and things like gas and insurance as long as they are doing well in school, behaving at home, driving safely, meeting curfew, and helping out when asked.

4. We do a "savings match"

We opened a savings account for each kid with two simple rules:

1. We will match any money they put in that savings account up to $1,200 a year. 

2. They don't get the money until they turn 25. 

We did this so they will have a little bit of savings in young adulthood, but we didn't want to hand it over at age 18 or 21, so we decided to go with 25. We wanted them to have the experience of doing something now that will benefit them later. So far, Nicky and Daisy have caught on really well, and they have chosen to save as much money as they can. Zoe is starting to understand more. Eva, on the other hand, has put $8 in that account for a whopping total of $16. 

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We definitely don't know yet if we've made the best choices, but we've had some positive results. All of our kids have gone through a phase where money burns a hole in their pockets, but as they've become older teens, they've shown a lot of responsibility. Nicky and Daisy have become savvy shoppers, and they both love buying things second-hand. Zoe spends a little more, but she always knows exactly what she wants. Eva... well... let's just say we're still going to be working with that one for a while. 

One thing I need to work on with my kids is showing them more of the cost of living expenses we have so they can get familiar with the services we pay for and how much things cost. As our income has become a little more flexible, our kids have gotten accustomed to things like streaming services and family outings. They don't remember that we went without internet for three years because we couldn't afford it or that we used to mow my grandma's lawn for $20 a week, and that's all the money we had for groceries. 

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I wanted to share this in case other parents are looking for options for how to work with kids and money. I got the idea for the savings match from someone else and modified it to work for our family. Where past generations have not thought it appropriate to talk about money, I think it's very important to have conversations about it. Some aspects of finances are definitely no one's business, but I think it's important to teach our children how to handle money. 

Things the Kids Say: Back to School Edition

Eva: Can we listen to Michael Jackson.

Me: Not right now. It’s Sunday so I want to listen to spiritual music.

Eva: But it’s so boring!

Me: It can be beautiful if you listen to the words.

Eva: Michael Jackson is beautiful. Annie are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? See? That’s beautiful.

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Eva two days earlier: I love “Smooth Criminal” because Michael Jackson sounds like the devil when he sings it.

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Me: Everyone can learn from For the Strength of Youth.

Zoe: Then why is it called For the Strength of Youth and not For the Strength of People of All Ages?

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Nicky (on FaceTime getting dressed for an appointment): Do you like my tie? You know what I like to say? “Fat ties baptize!”

Me: I think your pants aren’t zipped up.

Daisy: Undone flies baptize!

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"Golf must be an old man sport because I know, like, three old men who like it."

-Zoe

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"I had Chat GPT turn me into a man, and I. AM. FIIIIIIINE!"

-Daisy

Up Yonder

We've been fortunate to have a lot of fun this summer. Our kids have done some Church camps, and we've gone on a few small trips. 

During the last two weeks, we've had some fun excursions. First was a day trip to Logan. Logan is just shy of two hours from where we live, and I take the kids there every summer - honestly, just to have something to do (but I have to admit, there's not actually a lot to do in Logan).

We always go to Zootah (formerly Willow Park Zoo), which is a little zoo with the worst bathrooms of all time. 

Feeding "Squish" the deformed goat

This summer, I purchased Get Out passes for our family because we wanted to go to Lagoon (not to be confused with Logan. Lagoon = amusement park, Logan = city in northern Utah). Zootah is included in the Get Out pass, so that prepared us all the more for our Logan Day. 

Feeding the ducks

After our visit to Zootah, we had lunch at Chuck-A-Rama and then hit Gossners for some cheese and chocolate milk. We stopped by the DI to assess the local thrifting scene, and all of us came away with something fabulous! I bought a few skirts and a dress, and the girls all found a toy or a clothing item. Then we went to the Pepperidge Farm store and stocked up on cheap goldfish and mint milanos. 

That kept us busy for a full day!

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A few days later, we packed up and headed to Rexburg, Idaho for more Get Out pass adventures. The pass got us admission to Bear World and the Yellowstone Safari Park. 

The last time we went to Bear World, something bad happened. It's been nearly ten years since The Incident, so it was time for a do-over. 

We stayed at a Vrbo cabin in Saint Anthony and arrived late Wednesday night. On Thursday, we went to Bear World. 

We did the drive through tour and then parked and went to the walk-in area. We rode the rides, sampled fudge, and admired the bear cubs. We booked the bus tour and threw bread at the bears. 

Then we left and got some pizza and watched the local break dancer bust some moves in the pavilion at the park. 

We got two dessert pizzas because we deserved them

After lunch we went to the Safari Park, which is a drive through animal tour. They had hundreds of foxes, which was really cool, but it was so hot that they were all laying in the tall grass and looked a lot like dead rabbit furs. The most exciting thing we saw there was a bison having a dust bath. I've never seen a bison do anything more adventurous than walk, so that was a party and a half. 

At the end of the drive, there was a trout pond where you could get out and feed the fish. We loved creating a frenzy by throwing food in the pond and seeing the fish fight over it. 

After we left the Safari Park, we decided to go back to Bear World. We drove through again and then left and went to a gas station for drinks. Then we went back to Bear World a third time and drove through again. We laughed so much at the fact that we'd come and gone from Bear World three times. 

The parks closed at 6:00, so after our third visit to Bear World, we headed back to our cabin. My friend Shannon lived in the Rexburg area up until Monday of that week. She literally moved out of state two days before I came to town, but she came back on Thursday to finish some last minute tasks, so she came and got me and we went on a rural Idaho tour, which included potatoes, cemeteries, and tales of angry farmers. We also got Chinese food and Italian ice. So much culture. 

On Friday we checked out of our cabin and started the journey home. We hit a few parks.

We stopped at Big Jud's for lunch. 

Reminder that Eva is in her "ugly face" phase

We went to an army/navy surplus store.

Scotty had to scope out the rope

Eva calls this her "evil face"

She wanted this skunk fur for her souvenir

(it was $70 - we did not buy it for her)

We stopped at Reed's dairy to have some of Grandpa's favorite chocolate milk. 

Cheers to Grandpa!

They had a fun jumping pillow and some farm animals for the kids to enjoy

It was a quick trip, but we had a lot of fun, and it was a good way to close out our summer. It was also great to get to use some of the benefits of the Get Out pass. 

Seven Years Later

I used to have problems with clutter and “too much stuff.” I can’t say I’ve entirely sorted out the issue, but I think I’ve improved by at least 75%. I’m a lot more careful now about what I bring into my home, and I get rid of things a lot more easily. 

As much as people poopoo her, I have to give a lot of credit to Marie Kondo. In 2019, I “KonMaried” my entire house, and it genuinely changed my life. 

Here are the posts I wrote during that time (should you be curious):

Episode 1 

Episode 2 

Episode 3 

Episode 4 

So where do things stand seven years later? Well, for one thing, I don’t know what happened to Marie Kondo. I was hoping for more seasons of her show, but that didn’t happen. It seems like I heard somewhere that she had children and learned that her methods weren’t exactly practical with a house full of kids… but maybe I made that up (I could google it, but I’m busy blogging and being a passenger princess on a road trip). 

Regardless of the fact that kids (and husbands) make the KonMari method a bit hard to keep up on, I still benefitted greatly from what I implemented in my own house. Like I said, I still have some problems with “stuff,” but not nearly as bad as I used to. My house could use another mega tidy session, but it would be much easier now than it was in 2019. 

The other day I saw a list of questions to help you declutter, and I thought some of them were very helpful. Figuring out if something “sparks joy” has its relevance, but there are some things we have to keep for other reasons (for example, my broom doesn’t spark joy, but I still need a broom). So here are a few helpful questions to ask when you're deciding whether to keep something: 

Have I used this item in the last year?

Does this make my life easier or harder?

Am I keeping this out of guilt? 

Does owning this item cause me stress in any way?

If it disappeared, would I notice?

Does this item have a proper home?

Is it worth the space it takes up?

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This one is a new idea for me and something that will be very helpful to me moving forward:

Is this for my real life or a fantasy version of me?

(This question is also a really good one to ask myself when I’m about to buy something!)

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And I’ve seen this one circulating for a few years in social media, and it’s always a good one:

If this item had poop on it, would I wash it or throw it out?

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My girls have been getting their rooms clean for the new school year, so I've had decluttering on the brain, and I've tried to encourage them to let go of some things. It's always a battle I have to fight carefully, but every now and then something sinks in and they recognize that they can get rid of something. 

One of the biggest takeaways for me, personally, with Marie Kondo's method is the idea that if something has served its purpose, it's okay to let it go. I was able to part with a lot of things I'd held on to for too long once I adopted this mindset. I no longer needed to hold on to things for sentimental reasons (with only a few exceptions). 

I wondered if, years later, I would regret anything I got rid of. Now that it's been seven years, I can say with all honesty that there is only one item that I wish I'd kept, but even with that, I don't lose sleep over it.