Keep Calm and Chaos On

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #32:

Chaos

So far this school year I haven’t been able to get our mornings under control. 

I can’t seem to wake up on time. It’s funny that I went to work at 5 a.m. all summer long with no problem, but I can’t manage to get my tuchus out of bed by 6:30 now that my kids are back in school. 

I have to leave earlier this year to take kids to school because Zoe has dance practice. It’s only 10 minutes difference, but I am always scrambling to get out the door.

Eva is in junior high now and has to be ready at the same time as Zoe, and she is NOT having it. Every morning she has a mega mood swing, and she’s doing the whole anxiety-fueled “my tummy hurts” thing when she goes to bed at night and when she wakes up on school mornings. She can never find her shoes. Someone (never her) is always putting her shoes somewhere, and no, she can’t wear a different pair because (insert absurd reason here).

I am rarely ready for the day when it’s time to leave. I can come back home and finish getting ready before I go to work if I need to, but ideally I will go to work straight from school drop off. 

Almost every day as I pull away from the school, I either need to cry, swear, or eat my emotions. Often all three. 

Every night I make a game plan for the next morning so things will go better, and every morning ends up feeling chaotic.

Wednesday morning, for example, I was cooking runny eggs when I realized I hadn’t seen Eva at all. Daisy went and checked to see if she was up, and she was sound asleep. This was ten minutes before we needed to leave (she had turned her alarm off).

I forced Eva out of bed, and told her to hit the ground running. I told her I would have breakfast ready for her to eat in the car.

I still needed to finish drying and styling my hair. Yup. Ten minutes left.

(Please note that I was asked for McDonald’s no fewer than eight times including while I was cooking).

The eggs stuck to the pan. Somehow in the past six months I’ve lost my ability to cook over easy eggs. I even have a trusty hack that I used for years without fail that no longer works for me! I now have no confidence when cooking eggs. No wonder they want McDonald's! So do I!

I did the best I could to finish getting ready so I could go to the store straight from the school (it was my day off, and I had big plans!) 

I finally got the girls to school, and Eva dropped her water bottle which A) was not closed all the way so half her water spilled out and B) rolled under the van. 

After the girls headed into school, I drove to Smith’s. As I pulled in my parking spot, the sun was in my eyes, and I didn’t see that my spot had a concrete planter in it. I pulled in too far, and CRUNCH! Was I Marco Poloing a friend at the time? Maybe (if I was, it was hands free, I promise). Did I yell shit into the phone? Maybe.

At the store I bought three boxes of a Dip n Dots-style ice cream on markdown. I thought my girls would be so happy! When I got home, I unpacked them all and found that the tops had lifted off some of the containers, and the treats inside had obviously melted and refrozen into giant blobs. Hmmm. Probably why they were so cheap. 

I threw them all away!

I decided to pack my kids’ lunches for the next day to help me feel like some part of my life was under control. I had some Kings Hawaiian rolls that needed to be used up, so I made tiny sandwiches. While the tops were still off, somehow I knocked the cutting board with all seven sandwiches off the counter, and every single piece of bread, cheese, and meat flew out of place and landed on the floor. 

At that point, it was about 10:00 a.m, and I decided the best thing I could do was to sit on the couch and hold still until it was time to meet some friends for lunch. Thank heavens I had the foresight the night before that I would need a lunch date!

Now, after a few days of weekending, I can do it all over again! 

Twenty Five

On September 11, 2001, here's what was going on in my life:

-I was 17 - a senior in high school.

-I was on the dance team.

-My boyfriend (now husband) was one year into serving his mission in South Carolina (interesting fact: he flew to South Carolina on September 11, 2000. The airport procedures were very different then).

-I worked at a donut shop.

On that Tuesday morning, I had dance practice at 6:00. Near the end of practice, somehow we learned of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center (it happened at 6:45 our time). At that point we just thought it was a plane crash. There wasn’t a lot of information yet - it was so fresh. But then the second plane hit right before school started. 

In my first period “foods” class, we sat glued to the TV the entire time. All conversations were abuzz with speculation about what was going on.

My next class was seminary. My teacher, Brother Taylor, was prepared to receive his fearful, questioning students. He met us with words of comfort and love, then he had our class kneel together and pray for the people in the towers, for the firefighters, and for our country. He shared some thoughts about angels who watch over our nation, and then he turned some time over to us to bear our testimonies. 

Throughout the day, numerous students were checked out of school, so I called my mom (I was one of very few students with a cell phone) and asked her if she’d call the school and check me out, too. People left the school without consequence. There was no expectation for a normal day.  

Back then, missionaries weren’t allowed to call home, and they especially weren’t allowed to call their girlfriends. Scotty called that day.

A page from Scotty's mission scrapbook

On September 11, and during the immediate weeks afterward, I felt things I’d never felt before, but I didn’t truly understand what had happened. I didn’t really know what the World Trade Center was or why it would be a target for terrorism. "Terrorist attack" wasn't familiar vernacular to me, and I’d never even heard the phrase “twin towers.” I had no idea how big they really were or how many people came in and out of those buildings everyday. There were so many things my young mind didn’t comprehend about the magnitude of this event. 

A couple of years later - when I was married - I was watching a documentary about 9/11, and I saw footage of people jumping from the towers. I knew people had jumped, but I hadn't seen any of it. As I watched the people fall, I had to sit down. Then after a moment, I had to turn off the TV. To see what I hadn't seen in 2001 gave me pause, and that's when I realized how little I really understood about 9/11 when it happened. 

Now that it's been twenty-five years, what do I write? I have nothing. There's nothing I can say that properly memorializes the nearly 3,000 people who died. There's nothing I can say to make up for my ignorance at the time, and there's nothing I can say to make up for the ignorance I still have. 

There is so much I don't know about conflict between nations. There are so many types of suffering I've never experienced first-hand. September 11, 2001 showed me some of the greatest darknesses humans are capable of. And yet, I was still protected enough and distant enough to not truly have to see. After twenty years, I remain there - partly with gratitude, and partly with guilt. 

On the 25th anniversary of the attacks of September 11th, my words fall short. They always will. 

But I do remember. 

A Pretty Weird Year

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 29:

Outside

We've been slowly retiring our garden boxes for the end of the season. Every week we pull a few plants and cut the water to a section of the garden. Each year we have some successes and some failures. 

Successes this year: 

Cucumbers

Tomatoes (celebrities)

Peppers

Sage

Basil

Potatoes

Onions

Carrots

Summer squash

Zinnias

Marigolds (yellow)

Failures this year:

Corn

Pumpkins

Melons

Cilantro

Marigolds (orange)

Tomatoes (romas)

After four years, we still have a mint problem. I pull it and spray it multiple times each year, and it just keeps coming back. It also pops up thirty feet away! It smells amazing, but I need it to die! We have accidentally been very successful at growing mint. 

This year we redid our strawberry box, so we didn't have a good strawberry crop, but next year we might! I can't really consider this a success or a failure. It's just something that needed to be done. 

The potato bugs continued to be a problem for the entire season. I eventually started using Diatomaceous Earth, and I think it helped, but in order for it to be effective, I probably need to sprinkle it on every-other day, and I only did it about every two weeks. 

Here are some photos of how our garden progressed. Only 3.5 garden boxes fit in the photo from this angle, but we have seven. 

May:

June:

July:

I would have loved to get a photo in August, but I went out there one day, and 75% of the garden was dead! So I said, "Well, I guess you're done. Thanks a lot, pal."

Now we have herbs, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, carrots, and onions remaining. Even though we are bad at growing corn, I usually at least get a few weak cornstalks to decorate with, but they all broke in half in the wind. There are also no pumpkins because they all ripened too early and rotted out before we even made it to September!

It was a pretty weird gardening year, but that seems to be true of every year. What can I say? I'm a pretty weird gardener. 

Things the Kids Say: Episode 42

September Writing Challenge  - Prompt #21:*

And I Quote

Eva: Let’s stop fighting before mom calls us little ‘S’ words.

Zoe: And she will… because we are!

—————

"Where did you get those Sephora plates?"

-Eva, who shouldn’t even know what Sephora is

—————

“Sometimes I do stuff and think ‘Oh no, I’m turning into Dad!’”

-Daisy

—————

Eva: What time is it?

Me: 7:42

Eva: Are you serious? It feels like 8!

—————

“If you ask me anything about baking, like how many quarts are in a jug, I have no idea, but I know that 11 yards is 33 feet.”

-Daisy

---------------

Daisy: Did you know that there's a language where the same word is used for 'father' and 'brother?'

Me: What language is that?

Daisy: I dunno, Bro. Like Roman or Egyptianese or something. 

*Nobody's going to notice that I used this prompt twice, right?

Important... or Not

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #s 18 & 27:*

Important/Not Important

I often express that parenting feels like a big experiment. We just try our best and see what happens. Everyone does it so differently, too, so it's easy to see what others are doing and wonder if you're getting it wrong. I often have to remember that it's not always a matter of right or wrong. Sometimes we just do it differently, and that's okay! I'm responsible for my circus, and my monkeys. In the experimental way that Scotty and I choose to parent, here are some things that have become important and not important in the way we are raising our kids:

(Prepare yourself, you may be horrified!)

Gratitude = Important

Important:

Being mindful of other people

Giving a good effort

Mental health

Thanking people and being grateful for what you have 

Honoring commitments/being reliable/doing your part

Developing good character

Being on time

Budgeting

Learning to pray about things and recognize and act by the Spirit

Adapting when things don't go the way you expect

Family trips & activities

Eating breakfast 

Doing your own laundry

Positive body image 

Pool/water safety 

Being comfortable coming to Mom & Dad

Keeping things "15 minutes from clean" 

Obeying laws pertaining to drivers licenses  

Pronouncing words correctly 

Being comfortable owning your mistakes 

Trying the Disneyland ride once per visit even though you hated it last time because you might like it now that you're older (Dad's rule) 

 

Not Important:

Straight A's

Perfect attendance

Making beds

Walls 

Mating socks

Taking off shoes in the house

Sports

Earning college credit

Having the latest and greatest of everything

Separating light and dark laundry

Drinking your cereal milk 

Keeping the house pristine ("15 minutes from clean" is my standard as stated above) 

Having styled hair (I'd be happy if you brushed it, though) 

Mixed Play Doh

Not eating before the prayer has been said 

Finishing chores before you can play 

Drinking your cereal milk = Not Important

 ---------------

Some of the things on my "not important" list used to be "important," but over time, I've made adjustments. "Choosing your battles" is no joke! Just because it's on the "important" list doesn't mean we're good at it (but we'd like to be!) And some things that aren't important in our family could probably use an explanation. For example, even though sports are not "important" to us, if our children want to play a sport, we'll support them. It's just not a priority for us as parents to have our children participate in sports. In fact, we have really loved having our Saturdays free to do family activities. Also, our kids get so few social invitations that when someone asks one of our children to play, we will drop everything to let it happen. There are exceptions, but most of the time, if their chores aren't done, oh well! Please go play! The dishes will still be here when you get back. I'll report back in twenty years and let you know if that was a bad choice. In the meantime, the experiment continues!

*I didn't realize I had added both of these prompts to my list until I was looking over it a few days ago. I also have "priority" and "focus" on the list, so maybe that's a sign I need to realign my values. 

Quirky No Question

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 19:

Quirky

We’re all a little quirky, right? Some quirks can be frustrating but some are endearing. I think it's important to be able to recognize and laugh at some of our own quirks and embrace the quirkiness in others. Here are some of the ways we are quirky at the Brittish household:

My fly is not down, despite how it looks

(Just one of my quirks)

Scotty:

1. Is obsessed with maps. He looks at maps all day long, and I don’t think an hour goes by where he doesn’t open some kind of map app on his phone unless he’s asleep. But even then, I bet he wakes up in the middle of the night and looks at maps a few times a week.

2. Wiggles his feet when he’s tired.

3. Whistles all the time. The alternative to whistling is making a “Tsh, tsh, tsh” noise, and if we are somewhere he absolutely can’t make noise, he wiggles. 

4. Likes to stick a frayed shoelace in his ear and twist it around. For our entire marriage he has kept an old shoelace near his bed for ear tickling, and if he can’t find it, he gets quite distressed. 

5. Clips his toenails outside. Usually on the front porch. I hope the Amazon folks don’t find the clippings.

Nicky: 

1. Finds stuff everywhere he goes. This was true in childhood and now as a developing grown up. One time our friend Chad lost his wedding ring in a lake. We joked that Nicky could find it, and it took him less than ten seconds to surface with the ring in hand. 

2. Has sideways toes. 

3. Is really good at holding still because he was cast as a character in a play that turned into a statue, and he had to hold still for a really long time. Sometimes on our video chats, he will act like he’s frozen, and we honestly can’t tell if he’s faking or if he truly lost cell service. 

4. Doesn't like new stuff. He will wear a pit-stained shirt he found on the side of the road any day over a new shirt from the store. I have to remind him to replace things like toothbrushes once in a while. 

Daisy:

1. Used to use a sleeping mask every night but insisted on having a night light.

2. Has psychosomatic symptoms as soon as she is asked to do any kind of chore.  

3. Has a a creepy sounding pop in her shoulder. 

Zoe: 

1. Doesn’t like to touch wood. She has a hard time with picnic tables, wooden playsets, etc. 

2. Doesn’t like cheese. 

3. Can spread her toes apart like jazz hands. 

4. Does a really accurate (and annoying) impersonation of a turkey. 

5. Cries when we get new things - like a couch or a car. She doesn't like change. 

Eva: 

1. Has a crush on Jack Black. 

2. Loves to roll her eyes back in her head and pull a creepy face. It's rare to get a nice photo of her. 

3. Likes getting shots at the doctor’s office and often asks if she can get "another one.”

And then there’s me. I:

1. Need to stretch my nostrils sometimes. 

2. Do not like sea creatures. I find starfish repulsive. Touch pools are my worst nightmare. 

3. Hate cornhole and BINGO (and many other activities, but I'll keep the list short so I don't sound like a terrible person). 

4. Love the smell of Cabbage Patch dolls and would love to just hold a fresh one to my nose and sniff it all day. 

5. Like to chew on the plastic part of clothing tags and even broke my front tooth from it. 

Sunday Sentiments - Messages of Love

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #9:

On That Topic

For the past year or so, I’ve been hoping that Daisy will want to get her patriarchal blessing. It’s up to her, and when she feels the time is right, I’m ready to support her. Since I have children who are in the phase of life where they might want to receive their patriarchal blessings, it’s a topic that I have studied a lot lately. Patriarchal blessings are a passionate subject for me because my great-grandpa and my grandpa were both patriarchs. 

In aiming to teach my kids about patriarchal blessings, I made a Q&A sheet a while ago where I compiled some of what I thought was the most useful information about patriarchal blessings. I realize that it’s something AI could have done, but I still like to use my brain and reap the benefits of personal study. Also, I know that it’s correct because I know exactly where everything came from (I’m going to add that information at the end of this post). 

So for the past year or so, I’ve thoroughly studied the topic of patriarchal blessings, but I haven’t studied my patriarchal blessing. It’s been a while since I read mine (maybe even a few years), and I think that’s okay. Sometimes you need to let it “get cold.”

Last week, a line from my blessing came to mind, and I knew it was time to review it, particularly that part. Yesterday I read through my blessing, and it was the perfect time. Most of my blessing I pretty much know by heart, but every now and then I come across a part I’ve forgotten or a part that has new meaning now that I’ve had more life experience. My blessing is pretty cool, and the person the words talk about is pretty cool, which means I have the potential to be pretty cool, but I’m not quite there yet.

As I read my blessing, I was reminded of a talk from a BYU devotional titled, “A Patriarchal Blessing: A Message of Identity, Promise, and Love” by Robert S. Patterson. When I first read that talk, I decided to go through my patriarchal blessing and look for:

1. Messages of love

2. Messages of promise

3. Messages of identity

I wrote it all down… somewhere… and I know I found some really good gems. I’d like to do it again, though. Forty-two year old Britt could use a refresher. 

Here’s something I’ve never really latched on to regarding patriarchal blessings, that I’m just now starting to pick up on. If you were to ask me what the purpose of a patriarchal blessing is, I would probably say to receive revelation pertaining to your life and your purpose and to learn your lineage in the House of Israel. 

My emphasis would mostly be on the blessing’s role in offering you personalized guidance and caution and helping you understand who you are. Those things are all true, however, what I’ve never focused on is the role of a patriarchal blessing in showing us that God loves us. I’ve acknowledged that patriarchal blessings show us that God knows us, but I haven’t really focused on the love part. 

Brother Patterson stated, “Patriarchal blessings are communications given to us as personal revelations from God. These few words, recorded on perhaps a page or more, are remarkable. Their prophetic utterances have great power. They speak to our uncertainties, our abilities, our gifts, our life’s experiences—all in the interest of assuring us of God’s love and of His willingness to help us face the challenges and trials of our lives and to sustain us safely through what we must face.

…these blessings are a testament of God’s love for each of His children. They reveal the uniqueness of each of us, and they highlight the fact that God sees in us what we do not see in one another or in ourselves.”

Additionally, Gospel Topics states that, “A patriarchal blessing is an expression of Heavenly Father’s love for each of His children. It is evidence that He knows us personally.”

This gives me a new lens through which to look at my blessing, so when I read it next, I will look for those three messages mentioned by Brother Patterson, but I will pay particular attention to messages of love. 

——

More information about patriarchal blessings:

What is a patriarchal blessing?

• A patriarchal blessing is an individualized priesthood blessing received from an ordained and authorized patriarch by the laying on of hands.

What are the purposes of a patriarchal blessing?

• To declare your lineage in the House of Israel

• Israel is the special name that the Lord gave to Jacob. Jacob is the son of Isaac and grandson of Abraham. The name Israel can refer specifically to Jacob, to his descendants, or to the kingdom of those descendants. The twelve tribes of Israel are descended from Jacob’s sons and grandsons.

• A patriarchal blessing is an expression of Heavenly Father’s love for each of His children. It is evidence that He knows us personally.

• A patriarchal blessing may contain cautions, counsel, and promises unique to you. This inspired blessing can be considered personal scripture for the recipient and can help you understand your potential and possibilities. It can also provide peace and hope in times of difficulty and uncertainty.

What is the declaration of lineage?

• Your blessings will state which tribe of Israel you will inherit the promises to Abraham through 

• This may be a literal line of lineage or a line of spiritual adoption 

• Abraham made covenants with God when he received the gospel, when he was ordained a high priest, and when he entered into celestial marriage. In these covenants, God promised great blessings to Abraham and his family. These blessings, which extend to all of Abraham’s seed, are called the Abrahamic covenant.

• Promises God made to Abraham (the “Abrahamic Covenant”):

• His posterity would be numerous.

• His seed, or descendants, would receive the gospel and bear the priesthood.

• Through the ministry of his seed, “all the families of the earth [would] be blessed, even with the blessings of the Gospel, which are the blessings of salvation, even of life eternal.”

• “In the great majority of cases, Latter-day Saints are of the tribe of Ephraim, the tribe to which has been committed the leadership of the Latter-day work. Whether this lineage is of blood or adoption does not matter” (Boyd K. Packer).

• “Since there are many bloodlines running in each of us, two members of one family might be declared as being of different tribes in Israel” (Boyd K. Packer).

When am I ready to receive a patriarchal blessing?

• Prayerfully seek to know when you are ready 

• There is no minimum or maximum age to receive a patriarchal blessing

• When you are spiritually prepared and mature enough to understand its significance, you may be ready to receive your blessing

What is the process of receiving a patriarchal blessing?

• You will need to meet with your bishop or an assigned counselor in the bishopric

• They will help you decide if you’re ready and worthy to receive the blessing 

• They will prepare a Patriarchal Blessing Recommend 

• Make the appointment with the stake patriarch

• Wear Sunday dress to your blessing appointment 

• You may fast prior to receiving your blessing, but this is not required 

• Patriarchal blessings are personal. You may invite a few close loved ones (parents are a common choice) to attend your blessing

• The patriarch may counsel with you before he gives you your blessing

• The blessing is recorded and transcribed (typed)

• You will be given a copy of your blessing and it will be be preserved in the Church records 

What do I do with my blessing once I’ve had it?

• Read your blessing regularly. Treasure the words, ponder them, and try to live worthy of the promises within

• Patriarchal blessings are sacred

• The blessing should not be shared publicly or compared to others’

• You may share your blessing with close family members if you desire to do so

• “A patriarchal blessing is not going to map out your life or answer all your questions. If it doesn’t mention an important life event, do not take that to mean you won’t have that opportunity. Likewise, there is no guarantee everything in your blessing will come to pass in this life. A patriarchal blessing is eternal, and if you live worthy, promises that are not fulfilled in this life will be granted in the next” (Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita).

• President Dallin H. Oaks declared that a patriarchal blessing “is given under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and should be read and interpreted under the influence of that same Spirit. The meaning and significance of a patriarchal blessing will be taught line upon line in the course of time by the power of the same Spirit that inspired [it].”

• “Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. It may be brief or lengthy, simple or profound. Length and language do not a patriarchal blessing make. It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning. Your blessing is not to be folded neatly and tucked away. It is not to be framed or published. Rather, it is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed. Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night. It will guide you through life’s dangers” (Thomas S. Monson). 

Sources:

General Handbook 18.17 18. Performing Priesthood Ordinances and Blessings

Topics & Questions: Patriarchal Blessings

Gospel Study Guide: Patriarchal Blessings

The Stake Patriarch by Boyd K. Packer

When to Receive Your Patriarchal Blessing by Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita

Your Patriarchal Blessing: A Liahona of Light by Thomas S. Monson