It's the Merry* Month of May (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: This week I stumbled across a post I wrote during COVID. Reading anything from that time is sure trippy. Those were crazy years. It doesn’t feel like it really happened. Now that it’s in the past, it feels like some weird lie we all agreed to tell.

Fact #2: My kids have a lot of performances right now. Daisy recently competed at Region and State for theatre. At the Region competition I overheard one of the judges ask, “Does Nicky Brittish have a sister because I saw a girl here who looks just like him.” I just chuckled and carried on with my favorite pastime of eavesdropping. 

Fact #3: I see what the judge saw.

Fact #4: May is insane. This week is probably the worst. 

Fact #5: My Mother’s Day gift from Zoe and Eva was a 20 minute presentation comparing city life and farm life in hopes that I will move them to a farm. 

Fact #6: Mother's Day was so long and exhausting. What's the point of it, again?

Fact #7: I appreciate a good melt on a hot sandwich. Look at this beauty:

Fact #8: Saturday was our 23rd anniversary. Don't get married in May. 

(We didn't know). 

Fact #9: We did nothing for our anniversary, by the way. Unless you count serving refreshments at the high school dance. 

Fact #10: Our swamp cooler died, so I guess that's what we're getting for our anniversary. 

*I am not feeling a single ounce of "merry" right now. 

Sunday Sentiments - Hell Shakers

As women and mothers, we are so prone to feelings of inadequacy. We compare ourselves to others, and we tend to be really hard on ourselves. It's so easy to feel like we aren't good enough, strong enough, or capable enough, especially when the standards we set for ourselves are so high. Young mothers tend to fear that they're doing everything wrong. Older mothers tend to look back and wonder if they should have done things differently.

Several years ago I was having a Bad Mom day. I couldn't figure out how I would ever succeed at raising my children. It seemed like no matter how much I was doing, it wasn't enough. There were so many things I was overlooking in raising my kids. Too much was falling through the cracks - How was I supposed to raise them to be good humans?

And potty train them?

And teach them to have work ethic and how to do their taxes? 

And help them get into college?

And validate their feelings?

 

And promote their mental, physical, and spiritual health?

And, along with everything else, get them to wear stinkin' sunscreen?

As I sat on the couch in my vulnerability, a scripture from the Book of Mormon came to mind:

"...If all men had been, and were, and ever would be like unto Moroni, behold the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17)

Then the Spirit posed a question: If all mothers were like unto you, how would that be?

And my immediate response was Are you kidding me?!? That would be horrible!!

And this is mean! 

But then I realized that I take pretty good care of my kids. I keep them fed and clothed. I tell them I love them. I don't abuse them. I do everything I can to watch out for their well-being, to show them my love and support, and to identify their unspoken needs. I make a lot of mistakes, and I'm nowhere near perfect, but if I were the worst-case scenario - meaning that all other mothers were the same or better than me - this world might be a pretty decent place. 

Does that shake the very powers of hell? Actually, yes, it does. With or without sunscreen.

So now I try to not be so hard on myself, and I've had some years to practice. I still face Mom Guilt sometimes - I don't think that's something I can completely eradicate - but I try to acknowledge the things I do well and give myself some grace. Motherhood is an imperfect work and often feels like a weird experiment, but there are a million ways to get it right.

Currently {May 2026 Edition}

Reading: 

So far, I would let my grandma read this book. 

Listening to:

I would not let my grandma read this book. 

Playing: Ark Nova always. 

Eating: leftover pizza.

Singing: Rolling in the Deep

Watching: 

The Count of Monte Cristo is one of my favorite stories, so I was very excited to watch the new mini series (streamed through the PBS Masterpiece app). I would let my grandma watch this. 

Craving: a scalp massage. 

Buying: Little People

Suffering from: seasonal allergies and a broken crown. My crown cracked in half last week, and I had a temporary crown put on while I wait for a new one, and it fell off (while at the movie theater watching Michael, of all things  - there may have been Hot Tamales involved). Now my tooth nub is exposed until I can get into the dentist post-weekend.

Wondering: why kids love to make believe that they are orphans. My kids and their friends always kill off their parents first thing. “Let’s pretend we’re sisters and our parents are dead.” I did the same thing when I was a kid. Barbies? Orphans. Stuffed animals? Orphans. Playing “house?” Orphans. Did the Box Car Children do this to us? Did anyone else watch On Our Own? Did we somehow find Miss Hannigan and Madame Medusa appealing?

Feeling: kind of yucky. I’ve had really bad allergies for about two months. At least I think it’s allergies. I’m a bit miserable. 

Surprised by: how fast the last year has gone by. All of Nicky’s friends are posting about how they finished their first year of college, and I can’t believe we’re already (almost) a year out from graduation. When I see these kids posting pictures with all of their college room mates and friends, I feel like I’m looking at the wrong people. I don’t know them! Who are they? For several years all the same kids have been in photos together, and now they’re all off taking photos with strangers! 

Nicky one year after graduation

Sad about: having to put a chicken down today. She couldn’t walk anymore, so we had to bit her adieu. It’s always a hard thing to do. 

Proud of myself for: ordering Daisy’s yearbook and registering her for her summer class.

Procrastinating: planning my Relief Society lesson and picking up some prescriptions.

Loving: baby goats. My parents’ goats birthed five babies in the past two weeks. Unfortunately they live two hours away, so I don’t get to have regular goat therapy. 

Hoping: to finish planting our garden this week.

I pulled a radish yesterday just for funsies

Wearing: a Beatles shirt and black joggers. 

Grateful for: dental insurance. 

Proof That Kids Still Live Here

Evidence #1: There is a Fuggler waiting for breakfast at my kitchen table.

Evidence #2: Someone has made modifications to Nicky's mission photo.

Evidence #3: There are resins on every corner of our kitchen cabinetry. 

Evidence #4: Whatever this is. 

Evidence #5: More of the same. 

Evidence #6: There are rocket turtles on the ceiling. 

Evidence #7: The kitchen light fixture is draped in curling ribbon. 

Evidence #8: There are mini figs on the door frames 

Evidence #8: There are Legos, squishies, and homemade pottery  on the bookshelf.

Evidence #10: This. 

(Note the keypad entry)

Sunday Sentiments - Temperance

This week I studied the talk, “Adorned with the Virtue of Temperance” by Ulisses Soares, and it was much needed. Just the other day, in my prayers, I expressed to Heavenly Father that I need some help loving His children as I am not finding it easy to enjoy my fellow earth dwellers as of late. I’ve been feeling annoyed, appalled, and impatient with many a human being. 

In October’s General Conference, Elder Soares taught the following about temperance:

-Temperance is an essential trait in becoming like Jesus Christ

-Temperance protects us against spiritual erosion

-Christ exhibited temperance in all aspects of His character

-Other attributes and virtues are harmonized and strengthened by temperance

Though I’ve heard the words “temperate” and “temperance” throughout my life, I have to confess, I didn’t actually know what they meant. Contextual clues placed me on the right path, but I figured it would do me some good to learn a little more about the meaning of temperance. 

Temperance is essentially moderation in all things. It is voluntary self-restraint and emotional balance. A person who is temperate is able to avoid extremes and manage their desires and behaviors. 

The apostle Paul taught that those who desire to be like the Savior should be “not selfwilled, not soon angry,... [and] no striker” (Titus 1:7). Elder Soares explained that:

- “Not selfwilled” means to refuse to act with arrogance or pride

- “Not soon angry” means to avoid the natural urge to be impatient or angry

- “No striker” means to reject aggressive or harsh behavior

(Oh, hey! Three things I struggle with. And now I have a new vocabulary term to describe my frustration with my fellow mortals. I am “soon angry!”)

Elder Soares said:

Oftentimes, the world exalts behaviors born of aggressiveness, arrogance, impatience, and excessiveness, often justifying such attitudes by the pressures of daily life and the inclination toward validation and popularity. When we turn our gaze away from the virtue of temperance and ignore the gentle and moderating influence of the Holy Spirit in our way of acting and speaking, we easily fall into the enemy’s trap, which inevitably leads us to utter words and adopt attitudes we will deeply regret, whether in our social, family, or even ecclesiastical relationships. The gospel of Jesus Christ invites us to exercise this virtue especially in times of challenge, for it is precisely on these occasions that the true character of an individual is revealed.

We definitely live in a world that expects us to showcase our anger and frustration, and I admit, there are times where I just want to explode at a person… and I have (and I always feel very foolish afterward). In times when I have exhibited temperance, I’ve had a much better outcome. I can’t think of a time when I have acted aggressively or impulsively and had a long-term positive result. 

Temperance is known as one of the four cardinal virtues - cardinal meaning of high importance - in philosophical traditions. Some believe it to be the most important virtue. The other three are:

-Prudence: using wisdom and discernment. Being able to weigh consequences and make good decisions

-Justice: fairness, giving others their rightful due

-Fortitude: having courage, overcoming fear, being able to confront uncertainty and intimidation

Some believe these four are the virtues on which all other virtues hinge. 

Elder Soares taught that “Temperance harmonizes and strengthens other Christlike attributes… humility, faith, hope, charity, and the pure love that flows from Him.”

As we moderate ourselves and act with spiritual wisdom, we build upon other virtues and practices that make us more like Jesus Christ. The scriptures are full of examples of Christ’s temperate actions. Elder Soares promised that if we strive to cultivate temperance, we will become, “better capable of restraining anger, nurturing patience, and treating others with tolerance, respect, and dignity, even when the winds of adversity blow freely.”

So I guess I need a dose of that. 

Is He a Hottie?

The other night Scotty and I were watching Indiana Jones. Historically, I've never thought Harrison Ford was all that attractive, but I'm 42 now, and I have to say that Harrison Ford was quite handsome in 1981, and I see it now through my wise, mature eyes. 

This made me wonder about Daisy. Would she think 1981 Harrison Ford was attractive? I decided to compile a series of photos to show Daisy and ask, "Is he a hottie?" I put the images on the TV and allowed her to express her opinion. Some of her answers surprised me. But what was even more entertaining was Scotty's commentary. It went a little bit like this:

Is Harrison Ford a hottie?

Daisy: Not in that picture. I need to see more to decide. 

Scotty: Oh yes, he is! He is a total hottie!

Is Jonathan Brandis a hottie?

(I used to love watching Ladybugs, and I thought he was GORGEOUS!)

Daisy: Um... maybe. I don't know. He looks kind of feminine.

(This comment is pretty funny if you know the plot of Ladybugs). 

Is Brendan Fraser a hottie?

Daisy: No.

Is Elvis a hottie?

Daisy: No.

Is Donny Osmond a hottie?

Daisy: No.

Is Andrew Keegan a hottie?

Daisy: A little bit.

Is Joey Lawrence a hottie?

Daisy: No.

Is Brad Pitt a hottie?

Daisy: Yes.

Scotty: That's the guy from Boy Meets World. 

Me: No, it's not.

Is Steve Martin a hottie?

Daisy: Ew, no. Why does his chest hair come up so high?

Scotty: That's the Star Wars guy. 

Me: No, it's not.

Is Christian Bale a hottie?

Daisy: Yes. 

Is Leonardo DiCaprio a hottie?

Daisy: He's okay.

Is Tom Cruise a hottie?

(I intentionally chose a photo from The Outsiders because he wasn't exactly Tom Cruising at that point in life)

Daisy: I love The Outsiders.

(So, she didn't exactly answer the question).

Is Chevy Chase a hottie?

Daisy: NOOOO!!!!

Scotty: What? You don't like the Fonz?

Me: That's Chevy Chase! 

Scotty: No, it's not!

Me: Yes, it is!

Scotty: Nooooooo! That's the Fonz.

Me: No, it's not!

Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a hottie?

Daisy: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Me: I am such a proud mom right now!

Is Ryan Gosling a hottie?

Daisy: Yes. Wait, is that Leonardo DiCaprio?

Me: No, it's Ryan Gosling when he was in Breaker High!

Sunday Sentiments

I'm a bit spiritually defunct right now, but I'm trying to push through and continue studying the gospel regularly (I can't say "daily," but I can at least say most days). 

This week the Come Follow Me lesson prompts us to think about "gathering manna." What are the things we do every day to find spiritual nourishment?

Remember the Del Parson painting with Christ at the door?

There is no knob, so all Christ can do is knock, and it is up to the person on the other side of the door to open it.

For me, even when I feel spiritually "down" (as I am now), I know that if I keep doing the daily practices that leave the door open, eventually Christ will come in. Sometimes I feel like I’m faking it, and I don’t like that, but so far my success rate of making it through is 100%.

About ten years ago, there was a lot of buzz among members of my faith around the book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light. The book is a collection of letters that Mother Teresa wrote in which she expressed her own feelings of spiritual darkness.

For Mother Teresa, as soon as she began doing the work that she felt Christ called her to do, she stopped feeling Him near. She longed, more than anything, to have a relationship with God, but for over fifty years, she struggled to feel Him near (read a little more about Mother Teresa's story here).

Isn't it interesting how these things happen during crucial points of our lives? 

The lesson this week links to a talk by President Uchtdorf called "Daily Restoration."  In President Uchtorf's talk, he reminds us of the importance of small and simple acts of realignment. He says it is an ongoing process. It is normal to veer off course from time to time and need to redirect ourselves. I personally feel like I’ve had the best learning experiences while trying to come out of my spiritual droughts. One result of such experiences is that I no longer beat myself up for them. I used to be so hard on myself if I wasn’t feeling regular doses of the Spirit, but now I’ve learned to give myself grace and a little bit of time. President Uchtdorf taught that striving for “daily restoration… is how we become true disciples of our Savior, Jesus Christ.” 

I’ve found that pushing through times of spiritual struggle has helped me understand people better and overcome some of my own unhealthy ways of thinking. Hopefully, as President Uchtdorf stated, it truly does help me become a better follower of Christ.