The Chaperone Strikes Back

September Writing Challenge:

Opportunity

I’ve been to more high school dances as a parent than I ever went to as a teenager. Last weekend Scotty and I had the “opportunity” to chaperone our school’s homecoming dance (an “opportunity” I’ve had a few times in my old age). Here are some of my thoughts and observations after partaking of this wonderful experience:

A lot of the songs the kids get excited about are from the early 2000’s - in other words, my era. I laugh because they think they own those songs, and they give no acknowledgement to the fact that their parents listened to the same music when we were their age. 

They sing and shout weird things I don’t understand.

Most of the kids walked into the dance, down the stairs, and straight out into the courtyard (outside of the dance). Then they would come running inside when they'd hear one of "their songs."

School dances (at least where we live) are more like clubbing than dances of yesteryear. All of the songs run together, and there are no slow songs. 

We watched a group of girls sit at a picnic table and take selfies all night. They did nothing at the dance except try to take pictures that made it look like they did something.

I am an old lady of fragile hearing.

Ibuprofen is a must for chaperoning school dances.

This dance was so dark! You couldn't see a thing! I think they needed to turn more lights on. Reasons:

1. So the clothes can be somewhat seen (what a waste of a cute homecoming dress!)

2. Kids kept tripping on the stairs

3. Photos

4. So the kids can find their friends

5. Safety all around 

There is no point in decorating. The decorations were destroyed within 15 minutes (partially because it was so dark that the kids kept falling down the stairs and taking the decorations with them).

Two hours is plenty! Now everybody go home!

- The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion Vol. 2

—————

It would probably be suitable to post a picture of Daisy in her dress or with her date, but I didn’t take any photos! Mom fail! I’m relying on another mom to hook me up. 

As recompense, here is a photo of Scotty and me at prom in 2000 (I was a sophomore, and he was already graduated - the scandal!)

----------

Other posts I’ve written about school dances:

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (special high school dance chaperoning edition)

Prom Things

Sometimes

September Writing Challenge;

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like I'm the meanest person on earth. 

Sometimes I wrestle with the way I think and feel about others. 

Sometimes I want to say really awful things.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud in my testimony. 

Sometimes I want to pull my kids out of school and do a cross country motor home trip while they homeschool.

Sometimes I want to move my family to an isolated commune.

Sometimes I want to throw away everything we own and start over. 

Sometimes I want to spontaneously spend a few thousand dollars just to see what it’s like.

Sometimes I feel really ugly. 

Sometimes I want to completely give up on parenting and let my kids do whatever the hell they want and turn out however the hell they’re gonna.

Sometimes I want to steal stuff just to see if I’m good at it.

Sometimes I want to hibernate for three months.

Sometimes I want to say the F word.

Sometimes I want to throw tomatoes and enjoy the splat.

Sometimes I want to push my husband out of bed with my feet.

Sometimes I want to take a year off from family events.

Sometimes I post really weird lists on the internet.

Victory

September Writing Challenge - Prompt 28:

Winning

Every September when I do this writing challenge I start off with a stock pile of posts. I always have some written and ready to go before September even starts. Then, at some point, it catches up to me. That happened a few days ago, so now I’ve slowed down. This is just how it goes.

It’s crazy to me that September is almost over! It flew by. 

I’m going through a bit of a negative patch right now. I carry a lot of anger, and sometimes it gets the best of me. I don’t know what to do with it. When I feel this way, blogging isn’t the best way to release my thoughts. I have several drafted posts that make me sound like a miserable human being. That’s not what I intend to sound like (I hope I’m not a miserable human being, but maybe I am!)

So today, let me make a positive impression and tell you a few ways I am winning in this moment:

I have eaten 30 grams of fiber a day for the past five days (WIN!)

My favorite pants are clean - I just need to find them (WIN!)

Tomorrow might be cool enough for me to actually wear pants and only sweat a little bit instead of a lot (WIN!)

I read the Relief Society lesson for today (and then subbed in nursery) (WIN!)

Oh! And I went to church even though I really didn’t want to (WIN!)

I did tons of food prep this morning that should make it easy to eat fruits and veggies this week (WIN!)

I packed awesome lunches for my girls for tomorrow (WIN!)

We are getting new counter tops (WIN!) 

I am loving our new fridge (WIN!)

(Please note that making decisions like what fridge to buy and what kind of countertops to get is extremely intimidating, so the fact that I have chosen these things is a big deal). 

I decorated for Halloween, but first I went through all of my decorations and got rid of everything that doesn’t spark joy or that I don’t have a place to put (WIN!)

I put a new loofah in the shower (WIN!)

I cut Scotty’s hair over the weekend (WIN!)

I didn’t eat breakfast from McDonald’s at all last week (I didn’t even use my weekly $2 breakfast sandwich!) (WIN?)

I finished a couple of books last week and updated my holds in the Libby app (WIN!)

I topped off my gas tank, and the gas light wasn’t even on (WIN!)

Am I angry? Yes. But am I winning? Also yes.

(No obligatory photo today. I’m not winning at that). 

A Tisket, A Tasket

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #10:

Basket

I have no idea where I came up with the idea to put "basket" on my list of writing prompts, but I did it! Now that I'm pondering on what the heck I'm supposed to write about baskets, I'm realizing two things:

Thing 1: I have a lot of baskets. 

Thing 2: I do appreciate a good basket. 

Here's how baskets are serving me in life:

Place mats

I have a round basket with place mats in it on my kitchen table. Our table gets burn marks easily from hot food on plates, so I got some place mats to prevent more damage.

Shoes

We have a shoe basket by our backdoor because we absolutely stink at putting our shoes away.

Blankets

There's a basket of blankets in the family room for TV watching. 

Gifts

I have a basket of gift items in the storage room so if my kids get invited to a last minute birthday party or if I find a good deal on gift that I want to put away for holidays, they have somewhere to go. 

Socks

This might be the one that makes you think I'm weird, but we have four females in this house, and we can't keep our socks straight. I got so sick of keeping track of everyone's socks that I decided we'd just share. All the girl socks go into one big basket under my vanity in my bedroom. 

I've tried putting initials on them (they fade), I've tried buying everyone their own "type" of sock (I can't keep track of who has which kind), and I (still) make them do their own laundry, which would lead you to believe that their socks stay in their own loads of laundry, but it doesn't happen! Everyone's socks end up all mixed up still, so I just throw all of them in the sock basket. I buy us all the same kind of socks, and we share. 

Books

I have a basket on the bookshelf specifically for library books and books that we are currently reading so they are easy to find.

Products

There's a basket on my vanity with hair stuff, lotion, and other toiletries.

Snacks

We have two designated "snack" baskets - one in the pantry and one in the storage room. Anything in the snack baskets is up for grabs if you're hungry or packing a lunch. 

-----

I also have baskets under sinks, baskets in my van, and baskets in all my cupboards. The one thing I don't have baskets for... laundry. I don't use traditional laundry baskets! I use collapsible canvas hampers.  

But I still call them "baskets."

Somebody

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #30:

Somebody 

Somebody got roses from her best friend on her birthday and is letting them die on my kitchen table. 

It was Daisy

Somebody left their lobster flops on the kitchen floor. 

It was Zoe

Somebody made cute flower cupcakes last night. 

It was Zoe

Somebody made banana muffins and pumpkin muffins today (and now there are a lot of dirty muffin tins in the house). 

It was me

Somebody likes to eat Ruffles chips dipped in Chick-Fil-A sauce.

It's Eva

Somebody found Ben & Jerry's marked down for $1.80 at Smith's this morning.

It was me

Sunday Sentiments - Where I Live

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #26:

Recycle

I've been hearing a lot of really mean comments about where I live lately, so I thought it was time to recycle this post from six years ago.

----------

I've lived within the same five mile radius my whole life. Sometimes I've had a Magna address, and sometimes I've had a West Valley address, but I haven't gone far. The same can be said for Scotty. 

West Valley doesn't have the greatest reputation. People who live outside of West Valley think very poorly of our city. My nephew who lives in another county once asked Nicky, "Aren't you afraid of being shot where you live?" Just last week my brother-in-law and another nephew called our city trash. Another family member insulted our schools, and yet another family member made a joke about the crime in our area. My sister-in-law told me she doesn't feel safe walking down the street here. My niece often tells my daughter how much safer her city is than ours. People make crude and racist comments about the diversity here (our demographic is less than 45% Caucasian as of 2018). It goes on and on. 

A lot of people have a goal to get out of West Valley and live somewhere "better." Sometimes I, too, wonder if there is somewhere "better" I could live. But when I think about what would be "better," I draw a blank. What really makes a place "better?" Different places just have different problems, and some are masked better than others. A friend of mine often jokes, "We could move to [insert more affluent city], but the drugs are just more expensive there."

For the time being, we feel like we are where we belong, and when we start wondering if we should  live somewhere else, I always get a reassurance that we are right where we are supposed to be. Maybe one day, we will receive an assignment through work or church that takes us elsewhere, or maybe we will be given a strong push from the Spirit that it’s time to move, but right now, and for the foreseeable future, there is nowhere "better" for us than in our current home in West Valley. 

Collectively, one of our favorite features of our city is the red and white water tower. As a child I was always captivated by it. I could see it from my house, and I remember going out on my deck from time to time to look at it. 

The water tower has always been a symbol of home. You can see it from an airplane or the east mountains and know where where you are. The tower is a beacon by which we West Valley residents can orient ourselves.

At the beginning of 2020, Sister Sharon Eubank came spoke at a tri-stake fireside in our area. Sister Eubank grew up in West Valley, less than a mile from where I live.

She had such wonderful things to say about our city, which was a refreshing change from the usual rhetoric. She made me feel so good about living here, and she even brought a picture of the red and white tower. She told us how her father, Mark Eubank, a well-known meteorologist in Utah, used to take the family and park near the tower when it rained so they could hear the sound of the rain hitting the tower. She then spoke about water and living water. She shared some experiences of bringing water to communities through her work with LDS Charities and how water has the ability to change lives. She urged us to look at the red and white tower as a symbol for Christ - the living water. I loved her message. Not only did she make us all feel like her best friends, she took something from our city and made it more meaningful to us. The tower has always been special and nostalgic to me, but Sister Eubank's talk made it even better. 

So maybe West Valley isn't everyone else's ideal place to live, but it's where I live, and I have full access to living water here as much as I would anywhere else. 

Living My Best Van Life

September Writing Challenge: Prompt #13:

In My Car

I’ve been a van driver for about 13 years now. I’m on my third one. I love my van! I have always loved vans! As a child, I couldn’t have told you what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew I wanted a van. 

We got our first van when Zoe was about five months old. Having three kids side by side in car seats on a single row is possible but not ideal, especially when a jealous sibling likes to cover the baby’s mouth and nose with her hand while you drive. Thus, we made the upgrade to a van. The first thing I immediately loved about our van was the sliding doors. No more parking lot door dings! Glory hallelujah! 

I love being able to fit extra kids. I love being able to haul lots of things. I love that I can store items in the floor. I love the trunk space. I love that the seats can fold down. I love being able to strap things to my roof. I love that I can push buttons, and the doors will open. 

Having a van is amazing, and no one can convince me otherwise. 

Maybe I’ll drive something else after my kids are all out of the house (vintage Bronco, please), but for now, I’m all about the van! 

As far as what’s in my van - well, only the most amazing stash of anything you may need (Scissors? Yes. Makeup? Yes. Soduku book? Yes. Tweezers? Double yes). But also, my dash board friends:

Steve, Eleven, Dustin, and Marty McFly