Sunday Sentiments: Saturday Edition

There's a contradiction I experience a lot as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It comes between Message A): "You are doing great. Work at your own pace. The Lord will meet you where you are, etc..." and Message B): "Do better NOW. Be better NOW. Here are 50 ways you don't quite measure up..." Frankly, it stresses me out, and I wonder why we are given Message A and Message B simultaneously (hello, General Conference!) Am I supposed to keep doing what I'm doing, or do I need to assess everything I do and rise up to high expectations that I feel are beyond my current abilities? It's overwhelming, and sometimes it makes me feel like I'll never be good enough. 

There's a lot of commentary about this especially in regards to its affect on mental health. A while ago, I decided to take it to the Lord and ask for better understanding on my part. I asked for help discerning these messages and knowing how to apply them in my life without getting overwhelmed or upset by them, and I received an impression that I want to always remember: 

Each talk, each plea, and each message that comes from a Church leader who is influenced by the Spirit has the potential to invoke change in someone for the better. Maybe that talk on family history (or whatever topic it be) that completely burdened me and made me feel like I'll never be able to "do it all" is the very talk, that upon reaching the ears of ten struggling individuals, changed their lives forever! Or maybe those words were exactly what ONE person needed. Shouldn't it, then, be spoken? Even if it's not the "perfect" message for me? Would I expect a Church leader to not say something that can change or influence someone else just because I'm not in the right place to hear it?

Therefore, we receive all kinds of messages, all kinds of influence, all kinds of words and encouragement in different areas from our Church leaders because we are all changed and influenced in different ways. The message I struggle to hear might be the very message that penetrated the heart of another. And maybe that person will follow that counsel and do that thing that I find hard, and they'll be all the better for it. Perhaps the message I struggle with is the message that brings someone else to Christ, and when I acknowledge that, I have more mercy in regards to the messages that feel harsh to me personally. 

Several years ago I started recognizing the difference between inspiration and guilt. Now, maybe "guilt" isn't the right word choice, but over the years, I haven't come up with something better, so let me explain what I mean. In some aspects, "guilt" is considered a positive thing because it can move people toward change (namely, repentance). But in the context I am using, "guilt" is a feeling of needing to "be as good as" someone else says we should or to "live up to" a standard that we're not quite ready to achieve. There may even be an edge of competitiveness involved. I confess, there have been times where I've chosen another person by which to measure myself. Someone to be better than. This guilt feels heavy and doesn't necessarily stem from the right place. I have learned that if I act on "guilt," my motives are not pure, and I don't really succeed. If I respond to inspiration, however, I have great results. When I feel inspired, I am ready to take action, and the results are usually far more impactful and long-lasting. Inspiration feels light and comes with a special kind of energy. It's also accompanied with increased love for others. Since making this realization, I've often paused and asked myself, "Am I acting out of guilt or inspiration?" 

Now let me clarify one thing. I am not suggesting that the deliverer of the message is to credit for my feeling guilt. Whether I feel guilt or inspiration stems from me and where my heart is. Yes, there are leaders who err in what they say, but my relationship with the Spirit is the tool by which I can discern that, and for the most part, I believe our Church leaders' primary intention is to buoy us up and bring us closer to the Savior. 

Rather than being critical of messages that make me feel "guilty," I try to just set them aside for a time (revisiting them later might bring about a completely different result) and focus on the messages that I find immediately inspiring. This has been an important lesson for me personally because it has helped me to Hear Him more effectively. It has also helped me to do more preparation to receive messages from my Church leaders so that I can feel more inspired and less guilty. 

Currently (October 2026 Edition)

Reading:

Wearing: jeans and a thrifted tee.

Buying: new counter tops! I’m not sure when the installation will be, but it’s all in the works. We haven’t really done a lot of upgrades to our home in the 22 years we’ve lived here. Let me tell you… choosing countertops is so scary! 

Hoping: that I like what I chose!

Realizing: that when Nicky comes home from his mission, my role in his life will be completely different.

Loving: cool mornings. Now give me cool days to go along with them so I don’t have to do a mid morning wardrobe change. 

Watching: lots of shows that I’ve already watched. I’ve been in a phase of “rewatching” lately.

Wondering: how I’m going to face Christmas so soon when I haven’t recovered from the last one.

Laughing about: falling up the stair at a hotel the other day while trying to be a packing goat and carry everything in from the car in one trip (the hotel didn’t have a luggage cart or an elevator).

Feeling: bloated. Not gonna lie.

Listening to: 

Eating: lots of fruits and veggies as I am trying to eat 30 grams of fiber a day (hence the bloating). 

Singing: “High Hopes” by Panic at the Disco

Annoyed by: (sigh) so many things. I am a broken, impatient person, and I don’t know how to change. 

Procrastinating: calling my neurologist so I can go over some pain management options for my neuropathy. I can’t remember his name or where I went for my EMG, so I need to look it up. 

Playing: Ark Nova, but it’s making me angry because the AI players have gotten out of hand and dominate every time.

Suffering from: dry eyes. My eyes have been swollen and watery for the past few days, and when they get this way, it’s just miserable. They feel like sunscreen has run into them. 

(I don’t know why “dry eyes” is a condition with “watery” eyes, but I didn’t choose the terminology!)

Cooking: nothing. We’re having a “clean out the fridge” kind of week.

Missing: making ice cream cones at Winder Dairy. Sometimes I just want the satisfaction of creating the perfect swirl. Let me tell you, though, we had so many problems with our ice cream machine! Sometimes the ice cream wasn’t a good batch - it would be icy or it wouldn’t set up right. A lot of the time we couldn’t keep up with the customers, and the ice cream wouldn’t be ready. But when it was “right” it was beautiful!

Craving: McDonald’s breakfast, but I have a ripe avocado, so avocado toast it is (which I also love, but no one hands me avocado toast through a window as I drive off into the sunrise).

Grateful for: good people in my life.

Forgotten

September Writing Challenge:

Forgotten

I started blogging in 2005! Isn’t that crazy? Twenty-one years! 

I’ve always been a “documenter.” Growing up, I wrote in a journal regularly. I still have a personal journal (digital now), but due to blogging and social media, I don’t write in it often. I’ve changed my methods, but I still document my life. 

Sometimes I feel silly for having a blog, but then I go back and read old posts, and I am so grateful I’ve written things down. It didn’t have to be a blog - there are so many great ways to keep records - but for me, it has been a blog. 

Another way I “document” is through photo books. Every year for Christmas I give each of my kids a photo book of their year (it goes from Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving due to Black Friday deals on photo books). Last year for Christmas I sent Nicky’s to Puerto Rico. It was the fattest one I’d ever made, and it only covered the first half of the year. I only did up to him leaving on his mission (June 2025), and I plan to do a photo book of his mission after he comes home, but the book was still huge because he lived it up his senior year! He loves it so much and calls it his “trunky book.” One of his mission companions took it away from him once. 

(“Trunky” is basically homesick). 

The point I’m getting to is that I’m really grateful for all the “documentation” I have of life’s events because I’ve forgotten so much! Zoe was looking at one of her photo books once, and she asked, “Mom, did I used to be deaf?” I didn’t know where she came up with that idea, and then she showed me her photo book where I had written about how she didn’t pass her hearing test at the audiologist after she got her tubes. I have no memory of that! (And because I didn’t “document” anything afterward, I don’t know what happened with her hearing! But I know she’s not deaf, so I guess everything turned out fine).*

I always look back at blog posts, photos, and social media posts and love the memories. So as silly as I feel to write on a blog or share something on Instagram, I’m

grateful a source of memory keeping! 

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With that, another September has come and gone! I’m sad I missed some prompts, but it’s been fun anyway. 

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* I’m now questioning whether I need to have Zoe’s hearing checked. Did I forget that she had hearing problems? Was I supposed to follow up on this?

. 

The Chaperone Strikes Back

September Writing Challenge:

Opportunity

I’ve been to more high school dances as a parent than I ever went to as a teenager. Last weekend Scotty and I had the “opportunity” to chaperone our school’s homecoming dance (an “opportunity” I’ve had a few times in my old age). Here are some of my thoughts and observations after partaking of this wonderful experience:

A lot of the songs the kids get excited about are from the early 2000’s - in other words, my era. I laugh because they think they own those songs, and they give no acknowledgement to the fact that their parents listened to the same music when we were their age. 

They sing and shout weird things I don’t understand.

Most of the kids walked into the dance, down the stairs, and straight out into the courtyard (outside of the dance). Then they would come running inside when they'd hear one of "their songs."

School dances (at least where we live) are more like clubbing than dances of yesteryear. All of the songs run together, and there are no slow songs. 

We watched a group of girls sit at a picnic table and take selfies all night. They did nothing at the dance except try to take pictures that made it look like they did something.

I am an old lady of fragile hearing.

Ibuprofen is a must for chaperoning school dances.

This dance was so dark! You couldn't see a thing! I think they needed to turn more lights on. Reasons:

1. So the clothes can be somewhat seen (what a waste of a cute homecoming dress!)

2. Kids kept tripping on the stairs

3. Photos

4. So the kids can find their friends

5. Safety all around 

There is no point in decorating. The decorations were destroyed within 15 minutes (partially because it was so dark that the kids kept falling down the stairs and taking the decorations with them).

Two hours is plenty! Now everybody go home!

- The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion Vol. 2

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It would probably be suitable to post a picture of Daisy in her dress or with her date, but I didn’t take any photos! Mom fail! I’m relying on another mom to hook me up. 

As recompense, here is a photo of Scotty and me at prom in 2000 (I was a sophomore, and he was already graduated - the scandal!)

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Other posts I’ve written about school dances:

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (special high school dance chaperoning edition)

Prom Things

Sometimes

September Writing Challenge;

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like I'm the meanest person on earth. 

Sometimes I wrestle with the way I think and feel about others. 

Sometimes I want to say really awful things.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud in my testimony. 

Sometimes I want to pull my kids out of school and do a cross country motor home trip while they homeschool.

Sometimes I want to move my family to an isolated commune.

Sometimes I want to throw away everything we own and start over. 

Sometimes I want to spontaneously spend a few thousand dollars just to see what it’s like.

Sometimes I feel really ugly. 

Sometimes I want to completely give up on parenting and let my kids do whatever the hell they want and turn out however the hell they’re gonna.

Sometimes I want to steal stuff just to see if I’m good at it.

Sometimes I want to hibernate for three months.

Sometimes I want to say the F word.

Sometimes I want to throw tomatoes and enjoy the splat.

Sometimes I want to push my husband out of bed with my feet.

Sometimes I want to take a year off from family events.

Sometimes I post really weird lists on the internet.

Victory

September Writing Challenge - Prompt 28:

Winning

Every September when I do this writing challenge I start off with a stock pile of posts. I always have some written and ready to go before September even starts. Then, at some point, it catches up to me. That happened a few days ago, so now I’ve slowed down. This is just how it goes.

It’s crazy to me that September is almost over! It flew by. 

I’m going through a bit of a negative patch right now. I carry a lot of anger, and sometimes it gets the best of me. I don’t know what to do with it. When I feel this way, blogging isn’t the best way to release my thoughts. I have several drafted posts that make me sound like a miserable human being. That’s not what I intend to sound like (I hope I’m not a miserable human being, but maybe I am!)

So today, let me make a positive impression and tell you a few ways I am winning in this moment:

I have eaten 30 grams of fiber a day for the past five days (WIN!)

My favorite pants are clean - I just need to find them (WIN!)

Tomorrow might be cool enough for me to actually wear pants and only sweat a little bit instead of a lot (WIN!)

I read the Relief Society lesson for today (and then subbed in nursery) (WIN!)

Oh! And I went to church even though I really didn’t want to (WIN!)

I did tons of food prep this morning that should make it easy to eat fruits and veggies this week (WIN!)

I packed awesome lunches for my girls for tomorrow (WIN!)

We are getting new counter tops (WIN!) 

I am loving our new fridge (WIN!)

(Please note that making decisions like what fridge to buy and what kind of countertops to get is extremely intimidating, so the fact that I have chosen these things is a big deal). 

I decorated for Halloween, but first I went through all of my decorations and got rid of everything that doesn’t spark joy or that I don’t have a place to put (WIN!)

I put a new loofah in the shower (WIN!)

I cut Scotty’s hair over the weekend (WIN!)

I didn’t eat breakfast from McDonald’s at all last week (I didn’t even use my weekly $2 breakfast sandwich!) (WIN?)

I finished a couple of books last week and updated my holds in the Libby app (WIN!)

I topped off my gas tank, and the gas light wasn’t even on (WIN!)

Am I angry? Yes. But am I winning? Also yes.

(No obligatory photo today. I’m not winning at that). 

A Tisket, A Tasket

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #10:

Basket

I have no idea where I came up with the idea to put "basket" on my list of writing prompts, but I did it! Now that I'm pondering on what the heck I'm supposed to write about baskets, I'm realizing two things:

Thing 1: I have a lot of baskets. 

Thing 2: I do appreciate a good basket. 

Here's how baskets are serving me in life:

Place mats

I have a round basket with place mats in it on my kitchen table. Our table gets burn marks easily from hot food on plates, so I got some place mats to prevent more damage.

Shoes

We have a shoe basket by our backdoor because we absolutely stink at putting our shoes away.

Blankets

There's a basket of blankets in the family room for TV watching. 

Gifts

I have a basket of gift items in the storage room so if my kids get invited to a last minute birthday party or if I find a good deal on gift that I want to put away for holidays, they have somewhere to go. 

Socks

This might be the one that makes you think I'm weird, but we have four females in this house, and we can't keep our socks straight. I got so sick of keeping track of everyone's socks that I decided we'd just share. All the girl socks go into one big basket under my vanity in my bedroom. 

I've tried putting initials on them (they fade), I've tried buying everyone their own "type" of sock (I can't keep track of who has which kind), and I (still) make them do their own laundry, which would lead you to believe that their socks stay in their own loads of laundry, but it doesn't happen! Everyone's socks end up all mixed up still, so I just throw all of them in the sock basket. I buy us all the same kind of socks, and we share. 

Books

I have a basket on the bookshelf specifically for library books and books that we are currently reading so they are easy to find.

Products

There's a basket on my vanity with hair stuff, lotion, and other toiletries.

Snacks

We have two designated "snack" baskets - one in the pantry and one in the storage room. Anything in the snack baskets is up for grabs if you're hungry or packing a lunch. 

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I also have baskets under sinks, baskets in my van, and baskets in all my cupboards. The one thing I don't have baskets for... laundry. I don't use traditional laundry baskets! I use collapsible canvas hampers.  

But I still call them "baskets."