Show Me the Money

When we started our family, we wanted to put some things into place to help our kids learn about money. This is kind of a hard thing because you have to choose what you expect your kids to pay for, and what the family economy will be like. There are a lot of opinions about things like whether kids should have jobs in high school and whether they should be given allowance. 

When I was in school for my Marriage and Family Relations degree, this was a topic that came up in a few different courses. The research varies, so suffice it to say, there are a lot of different ways to handle money in a family, and various methods have good outcomes. I know a family that didn't allow their kids to have jobs while they were in school, and now those kids are all successful adults whose incomes have far surpassed their parents'. I know families whose kids were expected to work and pay their way for everything, and they, too, are very successful, affluent adults. So when it comes to kids and money, there's no perfect way, but there are many ways that work out. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to model living below your means, and be grateful for what you have. 

A few things we have implemented with our kids in regards to money are:

1. Starting a savings for them early on

From the time our kids were babies, they've received some gifts in the form of money. We put that money in the bank - even if it was just $20 a year. As they got older, they started being more aware of their birthday and Christmas money, so occasionally, it doesn’t make it into the bank, but about 75% of the money they've received as gifts has gone into the bank. This hasn't amounted to tons of money, but it's something. 

2. We give unconditional allowance

That makes them sound spoiled, but it's $5 every two weeks when they are little (to match our pay day, they also get pay day), and then when they get older, it's $10. So it's seriously next to nothing. The purpose is to give them the opportunity to practice having money. They need the chance to make stupid decisions. They need to learn to save or wait for things, and anticipating a few dollars every two weeks helps them do that. 

I am also always willing to come up with a plan for them to earn some money if they want to. 

3. We pay for what they need as long as they are being responsible

We cover the expenses of their extracurricular activities and things like gas and insurance as long as they are doing well in school, behaving at home, driving safely, meeting curfew, and helping out when asked.

4. We do a "savings match"

We opened a savings account for each kid with two simple rules:

1. We will match any money they put in that savings account up to $1,200 a year. 

2. They don't get the money until they turn 25. 

We did this so they will have a little bit of savings in young adulthood, but we didn't want to hand it over at age 18 or 21, so we decided to go with 25. We wanted them to have the experience of doing something now that will benefit them later. So far, Nicky and Daisy have caught on really well, and they have chosen to save as much money as they can. Zoe is starting to understand more. Eva, on the other hand, has put $8 in that account for a whopping total of $16. 

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We definitely don't know yet if we've made the best choices, but we've had some positive results. All of our kids have gone through a phase where money burns a hole in their pockets, but as they've become older teens, they've shown a lot of responsibility. Nicky and Daisy have become savvy shoppers, and they both love buying things second-hand. Zoe spends a little more, but she always knows exactly what she wants. Eva... well... let's just say we're still going to be working with that one for a while. 

One thing I need to work on with my kids is showing them more of the cost of living expenses we have so they can get familiar with the services we pay for and how much things cost. As our income has become a little more flexible, our kids have gotten accustomed to things like streaming services and family outings. They don't remember that we went without internet for three years because we couldn't afford it or that we used to mow my grandma's lawn for $20 a week, and that's all the money we had for groceries. 

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I wanted to share this in case other parents are looking for options for how to work with kids and money. I got the idea for the savings match from someone else and modified it to work for our family. Where past generations have not thought it appropriate to talk about money, I think it's very important to have conversations about it. Some aspects of finances are definitely no one's business, but I think it's important to teach our children how to handle money. 

Things the Kids Say: Back to School Edition

Eva: Can we listen to Michael Jackson.

Me: Not right now. It’s Sunday so I want to listen to spiritual music.

Eva: But it’s so boring!

Me: It can be beautiful if you listen to the words.

Eva: Michael Jackson is beautiful. Annie are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? See? That’s beautiful.

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Eva two days earlier: I love “Smooth Criminal” because Michael Jackson sounds like the devil when he sings it.

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Me: Everyone can learn from For the Strength of Youth.

Zoe: Then why is it called For the Strength of Youth and not For the Strength of People of All Ages?

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Nicky (on FaceTime getting dressed for an appointment): Do you like my tie? You know what I like to say? “Fat ties baptize!”

Me: I think your pants aren’t zipped up.

Daisy: Undone flies baptize!

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"Golf must be an old man sport because I know, like, three old men who like it."

-Zoe

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"I had Chat GPT turn me into a man, and I. AM. FIIIIIIINE!"

-Daisy

Up Yonder

We've been fortunate to have a lot of fun this summer. Our kids have done some Church camps, and we've gone on a few small trips. 

During the last two weeks, we've had some fun excursions. First was a day trip to Logan. Logan is just shy of two hours from where we live, and I take the kids there every summer - honestly, just to have something to do (but I have to admit, there's not actually a lot to do in Logan).

We always go to Zootah (formerly Willow Park Zoo), which is a little zoo with the worst bathrooms of all time. 

Feeding "Squish" the deformed goat

This summer, I purchased Get Out passes for our family because we wanted to go to Lagoon (not to be confused with Logan. Lagoon = amusement park, Logan = city in northern Utah). Zootah is included in the Get Out pass, so that prepared us all the more for our Logan Day. 

Feeding the ducks

After our visit to Zootah, we had lunch at Chuck-A-Rama and then hit Gossners for some cheese and chocolate milk. We stopped by the DI to assess the local thrifting scene, and all of us came away with something fabulous! I bought a few skirts and a dress, and the girls all found a toy or a clothing item. Then we went to the Pepperidge Farm store and stocked up on cheap goldfish and mint milanos. 

That kept us busy for a full day!

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A few days later, we packed up and headed to Rexburg, Idaho for more Get Out pass adventures. The pass got us admission to Bear World and the Yellowstone Safari Park. 

The last time we went to Bear World, something bad happened. It's been nearly ten years since The Incident, so it was time for a do-over. 

We stayed at a Vrbo cabin in Saint Anthony and arrived late Wednesday night. On Thursday, we went to Bear World. 

We did the drive through tour and then parked and went to the walk-in area. We rode the rides, sampled fudge, and admired the bear cubs. We booked the bus tour and threw bread at the bears. 

Then we left and got some pizza and watched the local break dancer bust some moves in the pavilion at the park. 

We got two dessert pizzas because we deserved them

After lunch we went to the Safari Park, which is a drive through animal tour. They had hundreds of foxes, which was really cool, but it was so hot that they were all laying in the tall grass and looked a lot like dead rabbit furs. The most exciting thing we saw there was a bison having a dust bath. I've never seen a bison do anything more adventurous than walk, so that was a party and a half. 

At the end of the drive, there was a trout pond where you could get out and feed the fish. We loved creating a frenzy by throwing food in the pond and seeing the fish fight over it. 

After we left the Safari Park, we decided to go back to Bear World. We drove through again and then left and went to a gas station for drinks. Then we went back to Bear World a third time and drove through again. We laughed so much at the fact that we'd come and gone from Bear World three times. 

The parks closed at 6:00, so after our third visit to Bear World, we headed back to our cabin. My friend Shannon lived in the Rexburg area up until Monday of that week. She literally moved out of state two days before I came to town, but she came back on Thursday to finish some last minute tasks, so she came and got me and we went on a rural Idaho tour, which included potatoes, cemeteries, and tales of angry farmers. We also got Chinese food and Italian ice. So much culture. 

On Friday we checked out of our cabin and started the journey home. We hit a few parks.

We stopped at Big Jud's for lunch. 

Reminder that Eva is in her "ugly face" phase

We went to an army/navy surplus store.

Scotty had to scope out the rope

Eva calls this her "evil face"

She wanted this skunk fur for her souvenir

(it was $70 - we did not buy it for her)

We stopped at Reed's dairy to have some of Grandpa's favorite chocolate milk. 

Cheers to Grandpa!

They had a fun jumping pillow and some farm animals for the kids to enjoy

It was a quick trip, but we had a lot of fun, and it was a good way to close out our summer. It was also great to get to use some of the benefits of the Get Out pass. 

Seven Years Later

I used to have problems with clutter and “too much stuff.” I can’t say I’ve entirely sorted out the issue, but I think I’ve improved by at least 75%. I’m a lot more careful now about what I bring into my home, and I get rid of things a lot more easily. 

As much as people poopoo her, I have to give a lot of credit to Marie Kondo. In 2019, I “KonMaried” my entire house, and it genuinely changed my life. 

Here are the posts I wrote during that time (should you be curious):

Episode 1 

Episode 2 

Episode 3 

Episode 4 

So where do things stand seven years later? Well, for one thing, I don’t know what happened to Marie Kondo. I was hoping for more seasons of her show, but that didn’t happen. It seems like I heard somewhere that she had children and learned that her methods weren’t exactly practical with a house full of kids… but maybe I made that up (I could google it, but I’m busy blogging and being a passenger princess on a road trip). 

Regardless of the fact that kids (and husbands) make the KonMari method a bit hard to keep up on, I still benefitted greatly from what I implemented in my own house. Like I said, I still have some problems with “stuff,” but not nearly as bad as I used to. My house could use another mega tidy session, but it would be much easier now than it was in 2019. 

The other day I saw a list of questions to help you declutter, and I thought some of them were very helpful. Figuring out if something “sparks joy” has its relevance, but there are some things we have to keep for other reasons (for example, my broom doesn’t spark joy, but I still need a broom). So here are a few helpful questions to ask when you're deciding whether to keep something: 

Have I used this item in the last year?

Does this make my life easier or harder?

Am I keeping this out of guilt? 

Does owning this item cause me stress in any way?

If it disappeared, would I notice?

Does this item have a proper home?

Is it worth the space it takes up?

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This one is a new idea for me and something that will be very helpful to me moving forward:

Is this for my real life or a fantasy version of me?

(This question is also a really good one to ask myself when I’m about to buy something!)

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And I’ve seen this one circulating for a few years in social media, and it’s always a good one:

If this item had poop on it, would I wash it or throw it out?

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My girls have been getting their rooms clean for the new school year, so I've had decluttering on the brain, and I've tried to encourage them to let go of some things. It's always a battle I have to fight carefully, but every now and then something sinks in and they recognize that they can get rid of something. 

One of the biggest takeaways for me, personally, with Marie Kondo's method is the idea that if something has served its purpose, it's okay to let it go. I was able to part with a lot of things I'd held on to for too long once I adopted this mindset. I no longer needed to hold on to things for sentimental reasons (with only a few exceptions). 

I wondered if, years later, I would regret anything I got rid of. Now that it's been seven years, I can say with all honesty that there is only one item that I wish I'd kept, but even with that, I don't lose sleep over it. 

Sunday Sentiments - Serving His Children & Mine

As a mother, one my greatest blessings is to have other adults who love and care for my children. There have been many times in my parenting journey where I have prayed for people to come into my children's lives, love them for who they are, and have a positive influence on them. Those people have been teachers, Church leaders, parents of my kids' friends, and of course, members of our extended family.

I can't do it alone. Scotty and I can't do it alone. We need our village. 

Last Sunday Scotty shared some thoughts in testimony meeting about those who serve in the youth programs of the Church. He begged the question, "Why do they do it? Why do they sacrifice their time and talents and, in many cases, their sleep to serve in these positions when they receive no payment and sometimes no gratitude?" His conclusion was that they love the Savior, and they know that when they serve these kids, they are serving God. 

This got me thinking about what a blessing it is to me when people serve my children. It's one of the greatest services another person can do on my behalf. When you serve my children, you are serving me. 

In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin taught this truth - that when we serve others, we are serving God. We are His instruments. We are what He has to work with!

If I feel so blessed when people love and care for my children, how grateful is our God when we love and serve His children? And how important is it that we serve the mean one, the awkward one, the annoying one, or the ungrateful one? My kids have been all of those things (and continue to be those things), and they have been loved anyway. That's likely when they need it the most. 

Sometimes I have a hard time recognizing others as children of God, but it's something I'm always working on. I want my children to be loved and cared for in the same way Heavenly Father wants His children to be loved and cared for. When I look at things through a parental lens, it always helps me understand God’s plan more fully.

That time I thought my co-worker was dead

Last week I went into work on a Saturday and thought one of my co-workers was dead inside the building. 

Let me elaborate. 

When I pulled up, there were no cars in the parking lot, so I wasn't expecting anyone else to be there. I walked in, and the lights were on. They usually aren't on if no one is there, but every now and then they get left on, so that wasn't a huge deal. 

As I headed through the building to clock in, I noticed some of my co-worker's belongings on the table. That was strange, but I thought he must have forgotten to take his stuff home on Friday. Then I saw his Zelda purse hanging on the hook, and I knew he never would have left his Zelda purse (it's actually some kind of cross body bag and might not even be a Zelda bag - but in my mind, it's a Zelda purse, and whether or not he has a Zelda purse, he still loves Zelda). 

That was when I concluded that he never went home from work on Friday, and he could be dead in the building. I had Daisy and Zoe with me, and I told them to wait in the break room because I really thought I might find my co-worker dead (I didn't tell them that part - I just said, "Wait here for just a minute").

I walked around the corner and into the work area and found my co-worker... working. 

I jump scared a bit and said, "Oh my gosh, I thought you were dead!"

He smiled and nodded because he had his earbuds in, and he probably had no idea what I was saying. 

I retrieved my daughters and went about my business wondering why on earth was I so quick to assume he was dead rather than think he was just working?

That, my friends, is the key indicator that you've been watching too much Netflix. 

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Today, once again Saturday, I popped into work for a couple of hours, and my boss was there. The first thing she said to me was, “I’m not dead!”

The Condition of my Books

A few days ago I got caught up in reading a bunch of argumentative comments on a social media post about a Little Free Library. It's amazing how anything can become a controversy. The original poster had uploaded a photo of the books she had just added to her Library, and one of them had some permanent marker on it, and the commenters went ballistic! 

The purpose of the post was for the keeper of the Library to express her excitement over the new books she was adding. She was genuinely thrilled to be able to share those selections with someone through her Little Free Library. I get it! That's something I would be happy about, too! Unfortunately, the post became a battle ground over THEE stupidest and most irrelevant opinions. I won't even list the topics people were fighting about because it will kill my brain cells, and I've already lost too many from looking at the comments in the first place. But one topic people were fired up about was the condition of books, and that is what I am going to write about today. 

The other day I shared a picture of my copy of My Name is Asher Lev. 

As you can see, it's lived a good life. It was already beat up when I bought it from the thrift store. It was a library copy, and it still has the library stickers on it. It also has a pocket in the back, which indicates that it circulated during the time of card catalogs. The cover is battered, the pages are yellowed, and it's full of writing and underlining. 

It's so beat up, but it's a treasure! 

Because the book is so worn out, it shows that it has served it's purpose. It has lived up to it's intended use. If I were an author, and I found a copy of my book that looked like this, I would be honored. I hope that Chaim Potok is likewise pleased. 

So my stance on books is that they are meant to show signs of wear. In my personal library, my books are dog-eared. They have food stains on the pages. The text is circled and underlined. The spines are bent. If anything on my bookshelf looks pristine and clean, it's because haven't read it. 

If you have a different stance on books, and you want yours to stay crisp and clean, and the thought of dog-eared pages gives you anxiety, it's okay. We can still be friends. I don't really borrow books from other people, so your books are safe from me! I'm a library/thrift store gal (and nowadays, I'm more of an e-book gal, anyway), so I'm not out to ruin my friends' books. But just know that if you borrow a book from me, I want you to write in it and spill your food on it. 

I want my books to document their journeys.