Let It Be Known

September Writing Challenge: Prompt #8:

Let It Be Known

Let it be known... that I’m starting to get old and loud. Daisy always tells me how loud I am when I say something embarrassing. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I swear I’m speaking discreetly!

Let it be known... that I found out recently that I’m older than the Vice President of the USA. 

(My friend Julie says wait until you’re older than an apostle! That doesn’t really happen, does it?)

Let it be known... that the other day I went up to my room and found this:

Courtesy of Eva

Eva had to write a letter to the president in school last year, and he sent back a (mass produced) response and a photo of himself. 

Yes, this is the photo that he chooses to send the children. 

Let it be known... that social media is now full-on mocking the neutral colors (primarily gray) home trend of the 2010's. As I get older, I'm getting more and more annoyed by the existence of trends. I wish we all did what we truly liked. How interesting would it be if we stripped away popularity and fads and everyone dressed/decorated/ate how they really wanted to? 

The thing is, I loved the neutral trend! I could change color schemes so easy with pillows, a rug, or shelf decor without changing the entire room. If I was loving green for a season, I could add green! If I was loving pink, I could add pink! All of my holiday decor worked. Fall had orange accents. Christmas had red accents. And I never had to try and make it work with a blue wall or green carpet. 

Why are we mocking it? It was genius!

Let it be known... that if zombies were real I would just be one. I watch all these folks on TV working so hard to not become zombies, and I'm like why? Just bite me. I'm too lazy to stay human. Becoming a zombie would eliminate all levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and I could just hunt, kill, and infect the remaining humans to make their lives as easy as mine. 

Let it be known... that corn on the cob should be eaten with the tiny end to the left, moving from left to right like you're reading a book. 

Also let it be known that corn on the cob is one of the best things to eat on this earth (but I have opinions about the kind of corn and when it should be picked - very young, sweet corn is my preference). 

Let it be known... that I've decided instead of saying something specific about a person, my way of indicating that I am not a fan will be to declare, "I would not be willing to write their obituary." 

Let it be known... that Daisy turned 17 yesterday. 

Say What?

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #16:

Words

Sometimes I get so annoyed with modern-day vernacular. When I listen to my kids talk, I can't help but wonder if I used to sound like that to my parents. The first words I remember hearing out of my kids' mouths that made me go, "What the heck is happening here?" were things like “cray,” "sus," "gyatt," and "cringe."

I didn't think "gyatt" was a real thing. When Daisy threw that out one day at twelve years old, I responded with, "What are you even saying? That's not a word!" I thought someone at school just made it up and convinced her to say it.

Now it's "buns" this, "peak" that," and "lowkey" everything. It's amazing how unintelligent it all sounds to my elderly ears, but I have to acknowledge all the things that sound normal to me that were actually slang from my growing years. Here are some words and phrases that I thought of that have become popular/common during my lifetime. Some are no longer used but others are still going strong:

The naughty words: pissed, sucks, and blows. 

The filler words: totally, honestly, legit, literally, and like. 

Examples: "I totally/honestly/legit/literally got lost in the mall. Like, I'm not even kidding!"

Nowadays this is where the kids say "low key." See? "I low-key got lost in the mall. I'm low-key not even kidding!"

Words that have changed meaning: gay, queer, bad, and sick.

I used to go around in elementary school calling people queer. To me, it meant peculiar. When people started telling me otherwise, I tried to single-handedly prevent the word from adapting. It turns out, I have no such power (though I still try to this day to control what words mean). 

Just the other day, it dawned on me that if I were to mention "having beef" with someone in front of my grandparents, they would probably think I was going to Burger King with a friend. 

Exclamatory phrases: "My bad!" "Oh, snap!" 

Remember "booyah, “as if,” and "moded?" (may they rest in peace). 

And let us not forget how many of us ran around saying "Cowabunga!" and "Eat my shorts!"

-------

Someday my kids will have to listen to their kids' weird words and that'll low key be da bomb. Fo shizzle. 

Sunday Sentiments - Updates From PR

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #31:

On a Mission

Fourteen months down. Ten to go.

The Bad Bunny gas station

Nicky left Antigua and returned to Puerto Rico in June. He's been serving as a zone leader for a few transfers. He's currently training for the first time. He was recently whitewashed into a new area, and it has been a bit rough. 

A new mission president arrived in July. He has an entirely different personality and approach than the previous one (the old one was definitely not my style of leader).

Nicky and his companion got hammocks and have a nice set up in the carport of their house where they hang out and study. 

They live close to a Sam's Club, and that's a nice place to be for hungry missionaries! (I miss cooking for this kid so much!)

Trainer and trainee

They had a drought in San Juan last month and were at risk for losing access to water, but everything worked out okay. They were prepared just in case. It has been raining more lately. 

Stocking up on water

Nicky gets caught in the rain a lot. It was actually pretty surprising to hear that they were having a drought because it seems to rain every day there. 

Caught in the rain on p-day

Puerto Rico continues to be an awesome place to serve because it has a foreign feel, but it still has a lot of the comforts of the continental United States. You can eat locally grown avocados and rice and beans one minute and a Sam's Club hot dog the next! Nicky has been to Texas Roadhouse (which he says is pretty close to the same) and Sizzler (which he says is not the same). Their McDonald's menu is a little different but still has a lot of the same stuff. They have some of the fast food chains we have here with slight changes. 

Puerto Rican food

They have beaches, rainforest, and city. There are a lot of places to explore on p-day, and Nicky loves that!

He is always finding animals and meeting the most interesting people. He also finds a lot of license plates and has quite the collection to bring home. 

They have huge freaky crabs there

Random guy that wanted a picture with the missionaries on the beach

There are abandoned cars everywhere

The mission is hard - he tells us so - but he also really loves it. 

I can't believe we are on the downhill side of it! Nicky says it's so weird to be one of the "old" missionaries now. 

Keep Calm and Chaos On

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #32:

Chaos

So far this school year I haven’t been able to get our mornings under control. 

I can’t seem to wake up on time. It’s funny that I went to work at 5 a.m. all summer long with no problem, but I can’t manage to get my tuchus out of bed by 6:30 now that my kids are back in school. 

I have to leave earlier this year to take kids to school because Zoe has dance practice. It’s only 10 minutes difference, but I am always scrambling to get out the door.

Eva is in junior high now and has to be ready at the same time as Zoe, and she is NOT having it. Every morning she has a mega mood swing, and she’s doing the whole anxiety-fueled “my tummy hurts” thing when she goes to bed at night and when she wakes up on school mornings. She can never find her shoes. Someone (never her) is always putting her shoes somewhere, and no, she can’t wear a different pair because (insert absurd reason here).

I am rarely ready for the day when it’s time to leave. I can come back home and finish getting ready before I go to work if I need to, but ideally I will go to work straight from school drop off. 

Almost every day as I pull away from the school, I either need to cry, swear, or eat my emotions. Often all three. 

Every night I make a game plan for the next morning so things will go better, and every morning ends up feeling chaotic.

Wednesday morning, for example, I was cooking runny eggs when I realized I hadn’t seen Eva at all. Daisy went and checked to see if she was up, and she was sound asleep. This was ten minutes before we needed to leave (she had turned her alarm off).

I forced Eva out of bed, and told her to hit the ground running. I told her I would have breakfast ready for her to eat in the car.

I still needed to finish drying and styling my hair. Yup. Ten minutes left.

(Please note that I was asked for McDonald’s no fewer than eight times including while I was cooking).

The eggs stuck to the pan. Somehow in the past six months I’ve lost my ability to cook over easy eggs. I even have a trusty hack that I used for years without fail that no longer works for me! I now have no confidence when cooking eggs. No wonder they want McDonald's! So do I!

I did the best I could to finish getting ready so I could go to the store straight from the school (it was my day off, and I had big plans!) 

I finally got the girls to school, and Eva dropped her water bottle which A) was not closed all the way so half her water spilled out and B) rolled under the van. 

After the girls headed into school, I drove to Smith’s. As I pulled in my parking spot, the sun was in my eyes, and I didn’t see that my spot had a concrete planter in it. I pulled in too far, and CRUNCH! Was I Marco Poloing a friend at the time? Maybe (if I was, it was hands free, I promise). Did I yell shit into the phone? Maybe.

At the store I bought three boxes of a Dip n Dots-style ice cream on markdown. I thought my girls would be so happy! When I got home, I unpacked them all and found that the tops had lifted off some of the containers, and the treats inside had obviously melted and refrozen into giant blobs. Hmmm. Probably why they were so cheap. 

I threw them all away!

I decided to pack my kids’ lunches for the next day to help me feel like some part of my life was under control. I had some Kings Hawaiian rolls that needed to be used up, so I made tiny sandwiches. While the tops were still off, somehow I knocked the cutting board with all seven sandwiches off the counter, and every single piece of bread, cheese, and meat flew out of place and landed on the floor. 

At that point, it was about 10:00 a.m, and I decided the best thing I could do was to sit on the couch and hold still until it was time to meet some friends for lunch. Thank heavens I had the foresight the night before that I would need a lunch date!

Now, after a few days of weekending, I can do it all over again! 

Twenty Five

On September 11, 2001, here's what was going on in my life:

-I was 17 - a senior in high school.

-I was on the dance team.

-My boyfriend (now husband) was one year into serving his mission in South Carolina (interesting fact: he flew to South Carolina on September 11, 2000. The airport procedures were very different then).

-I worked at a donut shop.

On that Tuesday morning, I had dance practice at 6:00. Near the end of practice, somehow we learned of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center (it happened at 6:45 our time). At that point we just thought it was a plane crash. There wasn’t a lot of information yet - it was so fresh. But then the second plane hit right before school started. 

In my first period “foods” class, we sat glued to the TV the entire time. All conversations were abuzz with speculation about what was going on.

My next class was seminary. My teacher, Brother Taylor, was prepared to receive his fearful, questioning students. He met us with words of comfort and love, then he had our class kneel together and pray for the people in the towers, for the firefighters, and for our country. He shared some thoughts about angels who watch over our nation, and then he turned some time over to us to bear our testimonies. 

Throughout the day, numerous students were checked out of school, so I called my mom (I was one of very few students with a cell phone) and asked her if she’d call the school and check me out, too. People left the school without consequence. There was no expectation for a normal day.  

Back then, missionaries weren’t allowed to call home, and they especially weren’t allowed to call their girlfriends. Scotty called that day.

A page from Scotty's mission scrapbook

On September 11, and during the immediate weeks afterward, I felt things I’d never felt before, but I didn’t truly understand what had happened. I didn’t really know what the World Trade Center was or why it would be a target for terrorism. "Terrorist attack" wasn't familiar vernacular to me, and I’d never even heard the phrase “twin towers.” I had no idea how big they really were or how many people came in and out of those buildings everyday. There were so many things my young mind didn’t comprehend about the magnitude of this event. 

A couple of years later - when I was married - I was watching a documentary about 9/11, and I saw footage of people jumping from the towers. I knew people had jumped, but I hadn't seen any of it. As I watched the people fall, I had to sit down. Then after a moment, I had to turn off the TV. To see what I hadn't seen in 2001 gave me pause, and that's when I realized how little I really understood about 9/11 when it happened. 

Now that it's been twenty-five years, what do I write? I have nothing. There's nothing I can say that properly memorializes the nearly 3,000 people who died. There's nothing I can say to make up for my ignorance at the time, and there's nothing I can say to make up for the ignorance I still have. 

There is so much I don't know about conflict between nations. There are so many types of suffering I've never experienced first-hand. September 11, 2001 showed me some of the greatest darknesses humans are capable of. And yet, I was still protected enough and distant enough to not truly have to see. After twenty years, I remain there - partly with gratitude, and partly with guilt. 

On the 25th anniversary of the attacks of September 11th, my words fall short. They always will. 

But I do remember. 

A Pretty Weird Year

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 29:

Outside

We've been slowly retiring our garden boxes for the end of the season. Every week we pull a few plants and cut the water to a section of the garden. Each year we have some successes and some failures. 

Successes this year: 

Cucumbers

Tomatoes (celebrities)

Peppers

Sage

Basil

Potatoes

Onions

Carrots

Summer squash

Zinnias

Marigolds (yellow)

Failures this year:

Corn

Pumpkins

Melons

Cilantro

Marigolds (orange)

Tomatoes (romas)

After four years, we still have a mint problem. I pull it and spray it multiple times each year, and it just keeps coming back. It also pops up thirty feet away! It smells amazing, but I need it to die! We have accidentally been very successful at growing mint. 

This year we redid our strawberry box, so we didn't have a good strawberry crop, but next year we might! I can't really consider this a success or a failure. It's just something that needed to be done. 

The potato bugs continued to be a problem for the entire season. I eventually started using Diatomaceous Earth, and I think it helped, but in order for it to be effective, I probably need to sprinkle it on every-other day, and I only did it about every two weeks. 

Here are some photos of how our garden progressed. Only 3.5 garden boxes fit in the photo from this angle, but we have seven. 

May:

June:

July:

I would have loved to get a photo in August, but I went out there one day, and 75% of the garden was dead! So I said, "Well, I guess you're done. Thanks a lot, pal."

Now we have herbs, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, carrots, and onions remaining. Even though we are bad at growing corn, I usually at least get a few weak cornstalks to decorate with, but they all broke in half in the wind. There are also no pumpkins because they all ripened too early and rotted out before we even made it to September!

It was a pretty weird gardening year, but that seems to be true of every year. What can I say? I'm a pretty weird gardener. 

Things the Kids Say: Episode 42

September Writing Challenge  - Prompt #21:*

And I Quote

Eva: Let’s stop fighting before mom calls us little ‘S’ words.

Zoe: And she will… because we are!

—————

"Where did you get those Sephora plates?"

-Eva, who shouldn’t even know what Sephora is

—————

“Sometimes I do stuff and think ‘Oh no, I’m turning into Dad!’”

-Daisy

—————

Eva: What time is it?

Me: 7:42

Eva: Are you serious? It feels like 8!

—————

“If you ask me anything about baking, like how many quarts are in a jug, I have no idea, but I know that 11 yards is 33 feet.”

-Daisy

---------------

Daisy: Did you know that there's a language where the same word is used for 'father' and 'brother?'

Me: What language is that?

Daisy: I dunno, Bro. Like Roman or Egyptianese or something. 

*Nobody's going to notice that I used this prompt twice, right?