Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Things on a Tuesday

This has been an "off" week so far. Yesterday was the sort of day where everything kept going wrong.

I dropped FOUR eggs during breakfast prep, and not all at once! I would get one cleaned up, resume cracking eggs, and drop another one. Two of the eggs landed right on the crevice between my stove top and my counter, so the eggy goo ran down and pooled on the floor under my oven. I didn't have time to pull the oven out to clean it, so I did the best I could by wrapping a towel around a butter knife and sliding it in the crack. Another egg ended up on the floor, and I scooped it quickly into my hands to keep it from spreading, but as I moved toward the sink to deposit it, the egg ran through my fingers and dripped all over the floor. I didn't learn my lesson because I dropped another egg on the counter and tried the hand scooping approach again which resulted in me bumping my crock pot with my elbow, sending it flying. The ceramic piece was in the dishwasher, but the unit was still plugged into the wall (I clearly didn't learn my lesson from when Jess from Gilmore Girls grew up and married Mandy Moore and suffered death by crock pot) (and now that I've said that, I better throw this out there for Shannon, who is currently watching Gilmore Girls for the first time, that I am not talking about Gilmore Girls, so no spoilers here... except in regards to that other show, which I do not actually like, and therefore, don't feel obligated to keep hushed about). 

Where was I?

Oh, yes. The crock pot went flying since it wasn't weighed down by the crock. It hit the metal garbage can, which put a big dent in the side, and then, since it was still plugged into the wall, it dangled from the outlet and spun in a slow circle while I stood there with egg in my hands. 

All of this happened with two little girls underfoot, or "underarm," to be more accurate, since any time I cook, Zoe and Eva have to have their heads in my armpits to see what I'm doing. And that is what makes me prone to so much egg dropping! In addition to all the other morning chaos that gets me feeling stressed and sloppy. 


My day pretty much continued in that manner. Clumsy accidents and messy crises. One after the other.

The day ended in a pneumonia diagnosis for Nicky and me running over Zoe and Eva's scooters in the garage. As soon as I heard the sound of the scooters, I asked Nicky to jump out of the van and look. The scooters were both wedged under my van tires, and I told Nicky to just leave them there, and we would assess them later. I chose to leave them because they were out of sight, and I needed them to stay that way. This morning, I moved the van, and Nicky went and got the scooters. They survived! And I am so glad! The girls have only had them for about two weeks, and I was certain I was going to have to hide the evidence and buy new ones (it wouldn't be the first time I've had to throw away a scooter and sneakily buy a replacement). 

As for the pneumonia thing, Nicky has been a little sick since Easter weekend, but he is so tough that it's easy to overlook sickness and injury in that one. But he has had a bit of a cough that has gotten worse over the past few days, and he's been lethargic and doesn't have much of an appetite. I've wondered off and on for several days whether he has pneumonia. I finally took him to instacare last night. The doctor said he could hear a crackle in Nicky's lungs, so they ordered an x-ray, and sure enough, it's pneumonia.


The x-ray tech was a doll. She printed off the images for Nicky and showed him what everything in the picture was. We now know for sure that he has lungs, a heart, and intestines. Nicky's favorite part was that the tech was able to show him an air pocket in his intestine as well as some of his poop. Show a twelve year old boy an x-ray of his fart, and he will be one happy lad! 

I made Nicky stay home from school today to rest (he threw up this morning, possibly a reaction to his antibiotics and he keeps getting bloody noses, poor kid), so my routine is shaken. Zoe and Eva had school today. Their classes start and end a few minutes apart. When I picked up Zoe, I put her in the van and stopped to talk to a friend. While I was talking my friend, I suddenly had this moment of panic because I couldn't remember where Eva was. I couldn't recall putting her in the van, so I wondered if I accidentally left her at home. It was such a bizarre moment! Meanwhile, Eva was exactly where she was supposed to be... in school. It took me a good minute to orient myself and figure out what was going on. It scared me. 

But let's go back to instacare for a minute. 

Before that, I need to tell you about my squeaky shoe. 


I have a squeaky shoe, and it's really annoying, yet, I keep wearing it. I think, "Oh it's not that bad!" but when I'm "squeak, squeak, squeaking" my way through the library or the grocery store, I suddenly remember how awful it really is to have a squeaky shoe (and even worse is the fact that I paid big money for my squeaky shoe after doing a gait assessment at a running store). 

Yesterday was such a moment as I squeaked my way from the exam room to the x-ray room at instacare. When I was walking back to the exam room, a medical assistant was talking to a co-worker about his squeaky shoe and walking around the area trying to make his shoe squeak. I heard him tell his co-worker, "I can hear it! Can't you hear it?" I stopped walking and said, "Are you talking about my shoe?" and he said, "Oh, that's what it was! I thought it was my shoe!" then we commiserated about our squeaky shoes because apparently he has one too, and he thought my shoe squeaks were his shoe squeaks. 

Let's take a moment to discuss how important human connection is... whether it's fueled by memories, food, feelings, or squeaky shoes. It's good to know we're not alone. I am not the only one out there squeaking. 

Meanwhile, is it really only Tuesday?




Sunday, April 28, 2019

The One About Friends

I recently watched Friends for the first time since it was on air. I watched most of Friends when it was on TV, but I missed some of the last couple of seasons since I was "adulting" at that point (plus Friends was getting old). I saw the finale, though.

I wasn't sure if I'd really like it this time around. Over the past twenty-ish years, I've kind of poo-pooed Friends since my sense of humor has grown so sophisticated (ha!), but it was fun to go back and experience a show that was so iconic and influential in our culture. I enjoyed it.


Here are some of my thoughts and observations - the good, the bad, and the ugly - from watching the show as a real life, actual adult.

The fat shaming is intense

I remember watching Monica in her fat suit when I was younger and thinking it was so funny. Monica used to be fat! Hardy harhar! 

"The camera adds ten pounds!"

"How many cameras are on you?"

Hardy harhar. 

Monica used to eat everything in sight. Monica was a 200 lb nine-year-old. Ross had nightmares that Monica was going to eat him.

Hardy harhar.

Monica got skinny because Chandler made fun of her. Monica got skinny because of shame. 

Hardy harhar. That's some funny crap!


Now I look at Monica in her fat suit, and I'm as big as she was. So they're not just cracking jokes about fat Monica, they're cracking jokes about me

Now I see how sickly thin Courtney Cox was. There was an episode where they were at the beach, and Monica was in a bikini, and she looked skeletal and weak. It was eye-opening to watch Friends as an adult and realize the messages this show sends about body image, and as a regular viewer of this show in my teens, it was all pummeled into my under-developed brain. 

Rachel didn't have "the Rachel" for very long

Jennifer Aniston's hair was a a big part of Friends and the 90's in general. I sported my own version of it through jr high and high school:

scan0002

But interestingly, she only rocked "the Rachel" for the first two seasons. And that goes by pretty fast when you're binge-watching. "The Rachel" is there, and then it's gone lickety split! 

According to this article, Jennifer Aniston always hated "the Rachel" and thinks it's the ugliest haircut she's ever seen. So thank you, Jennifer, for openly insulting your stylists and every person who thought your hair was cute and followed suit.

Monica's hair was all over the place

Monica's hair changed ALL. THE. TIME. She had some really cute cuts here and there, but her hair never stayed the same for long. Sometimes she rocked a cut for a single episode, and in the next episode, her hair was completely different.

Jennifer Aniston got all the hair attention, but Courtney Cox's hair was great too! It just changed so frequently, I don't think it got the credit it deserved!

And then there was Phoebe's hair

which never really changed except that sometimes it was freshly dyed and looked more platinum and occasionally she had bangs, but overall, Phoebe was pretty consistent hair-wise.


But let's go back to Rachel

and those few episodes where she had major hair extensions. They were an "elephant in the room."

Maybe I focus too much on the hair.

Gunther had no speaking parts for a few years

In the first few seasons, Gunther was always in the background working behind the counter at Central Perk. The first time he was ever acknowledged was somewhere around season 3 or 4, and they used the German pronunciation, which sounds more like "goonter." 

"How you doin'?" also came later

Joey didn't start saying "How you doin'?" until a few seasons into the show.

Once upon a time, my very own husband started saying, "How you doin?" and he thought he was the originator of it. I told him to knock it off. That was while I was poopooing Friends.

Friends and 9/11

Since Friends takes place in New York, a lot of the transition shots showed the Manhattan skyline, which included the twin towers. 

After 9/11, television stations stopped regular programming and focused on 9/11 coverage for a few days. Friends was one of the first things I watched as shows started coming back on television, and I wasn't sure if that was okay. It felt wrong to watch a sitcom in the light of what was happening in our country.  

As I watched Friends this time, I wasn't sure at what point in the show 9/11 happened, so I kept my eye out during the later seasons for changes in the scenery. It was season 8. The season premiere was dedicated to the people of New York, and from then on, the twin towers scenes no longer appeared on the show. Joey's magnadoodle occasionally featured messages portraying love for New York, American flags appears in the background of the show, and Joey wore an NYFD t-shirt in some episodes.

Emma will be 18 next year

Remember that horrible plot line where Ross and Rachel have a kid together and name her Emma, and then she is somehow always magically cared for so Ross and Rachel can continue living like they're young and single? Oh, and remember how Ross has a son, Ben, but Ben just kind of disappears in the last seasons? And then Ben grows up to be Jughead?

Anyway, at Emma's first birthday, they made a video message for her to watch on her 18th birthday... which Chandler mentions is in 2020.

Whoa.



Every female in Friends needed a better bra

Seriously with the nipples.

I'm getting old!

I'm older than all the Friends characters.


It both amazes me and horrifies me that we have the capacity to experience ten years' worth of television in a few days (or in my case, about a month. I did stop watching long enough to occasionally go to the bathroom and take a shower). 

Friday, April 19, 2019

Project: Use the Food, Week 2

This week brought the challenge of tackling Eva's birthday party and getting ready for family Easter parties (with accompanying food assignments) without going overboard on my grocery shopping. I'm just going to go ahead and give myself a C-. I only bought what we really needed grocery-wise, but I spent the rest of the grocery budget on a bunch of other stuff that I probably could have done without.

I partially blame Eva. She was so convincing with her, "Oh, I've always wanted this for my birthday!" speeches. I ended up letting her pick a new swimming suit, an outfit, a pair of pajamas, and a Barbie for her birthday. I also bought a few things for my kids for Easter - sidewalk chalk, water balloons, and boxes of Junior Mints.* And there went the grocery money for this week, and the grocery money I saved by not overspending last week.

I'm giving myself a C- because I, at least, didn't dip into next week's money. I'm going to get back on track for the coming week. Or so I say...


Even though I spent my grocery budget, most of it went to non-food items, so I've continued using food that I've had in the pantry, freezer, and storage room. But I also ate out a few times... because I am weak. Apparently my blog isn't holding me quite as accountable as I need it to.

Here is what we ate this week (and again, this is really what I ate this week. My kids frequently have something different than I do for breakfast and lunch):

Friday, April 12


Breakfast: avocado toast and smoothie
Lunch: Chick-Fil-A (totally an impulse move)
Dinner: Cubby's (girls' night)

Saturday, April 13


Breakfast: pancakes and fruit (breakfast at the church)
Lunch: avocado toast
Dinner: pizza and vegetables (game night)

Sunday, April 14


Breakfast: German pancakes
Lunch: Swedish meatballs over mashed potatoes
Dinner: quesadillas

Monday, April 15


Breakfast: scrambled eggs, toast, and smoothie
Lunch: Moochies (Eva picked it for her birthday)
Dinner: Hawaiian haystacks (Eva's birthday dinner - we had family over)

Tuesday, April 16


Breakfast: breakfast sandwiches from the freezer (which really aren't that good, and yet, I continue buying them)
Lunch: tomato bisque (I made a batch of this soup a couple of weeks ago and put it in the freezer in individual portions for quick lunches)
Dinner: honey lime tilapia and fish sticks (to use up fish odds and ends from the freezer)

Wednesday, April 17


Breakfast: cereal
Lunch: macaroni and cheese
Dinner: BBQ pork sandwiches (on hot dog buns from the freezer)

Thursday, April 19


Breakfast: breakfast sandwiches and orange juice
Lunch: Cafe Rio (with Christie)
Dinner: Hawaiian haystacks, round II (the kids loved the haystacks on Monday and begged to have them again, so I made a whole other batch)

--------------

Just like last week, I now need to make an edit to everything I wrote above. Let's go ahead and lower that C- to an F. On Thursday I went to Sam's Club and bought 16 lbs of chicken, 4 lbs of round steak, some strawberries, and some blackberries. 

That's not so bad... but then I went to Smith's,

And I bought "stuff." 

Ya know, like three cartons of ice cream and nine bags of chips. 

So now the question is... do I keep trying to make this happen, or do I just give up and buy all the foods?


*I ordered some dresses for my girls, but I don't know if they'll arrive in time for Easter. I also have a new pair of church shoes for each of them (which they need pretty bad). So there could be Easter dresses and church shoes, but I'm not holding my breath. If the girls get the dresses for Easter, Nicky will get a golf outfit. If not, everyone gets a Cinco de Mayo outfit, I guess.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Currently {April 2019 Edition}

Reading: Nothing!

I haven't been reading much lately. I'm not really in the mood.

Watching: Friends and World of Dance

Craving: Dr. Pepper. Remember how I quit soda? I'm still going strong. But I fight the battle every day. Every day, I crave it. Every day, I want it. Every day, I have to choose to not drink it.

Excited for: a quick, little vacation in August. I'll be going on an airplane for the first time in almost ten years!

Feeling: Very tired and blah. I've been this way for a few weeks. I hope I can snap out of it soon.

Stressing about: Easter parties. The Saturday before Easter is one of my most stressful days of the year. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Buying: summer clothes. I don't want to buy summer clothes, but I need a few shirts since nothing survived Marie Kondo. I have added a few candidates to my closet. Please bless they will get me through.

Annoyed by: the way people drive in the school parking lot. It's particularly upsetting because most of them are women, and they aren't doing womankind any favors by driving the way they do.

(And how often is it me? Argh!)

Trying: lots of new recipes. I'm in search of a few good meals to add to our rotation. Two weeks ago Scotty and I made Massaman curry and fresh spring rolls with peanut sauce.


Scotty and I loved it. Our kids... not so much. But I stopped trying to impress them with my cooking a long time ago!

Missing: the bacon, egg, and cheese bagel from McDonald's. Our local McD's no longer have them, but I just googled them, and they are on the McDonald's web site. Clearly I have some more research to do.

Why do I like them so much? I dunno. They are nostalgic. I used to eat them in high school when I was feeling splurgy with my tiny paychecks.

Loving: my front door.


Home

I painted it last summer, and at first I didn't like it, but now I like it a lot. I smile every time I see my front door. This is a picture from right after I painted it. I now have a different wreath and a new light fixture on the porch. 

Frustrated by: my knees. On Monday morning I was going to meet my friend for a walk. I usually run to our meeting spot, then we walk three miles, and then I run back home. It's not far - just about a quarter mile.

It was raining, and I was carrying an umbrella. I don't really know what happened, but I went down. I hit the ground hard on my knees. I ripped holes in my pants and destroyed my umbrella. I shook it off and walked through the pain. When I got home, I saw how mangled my knees were: blood, asphalt, and skin. I've been limping ever since.

Regretting: trying on this shirt at Burlington.


I got stuck in it.

It's not the first time I've been stuck in clothes in a dressing room, but this was definitely the worst. Let's just say... the shirt didn't make it. And I will never try on anything non-stretchy again.

I'm a big girl, I know. But I got stuck in stuff even when I was skinny, so darn that fashion industry!

Looking forward to: camping season. Although we really don't camp that much. We try to go at least once a year as a family. Scotty and Nicky go a lot more often with scouts.

Singing: "I Know that my Savior Loves Me"

Procrastinating: Returning items to the library. I have several things that are over a week late. There's a book I can't find. I've already maxed out the renewals. I think I might've donated it to DI whilst in my KonMari phase.

Wearing: slippers, jeans, and a black t-shirt.

Struggling with: my kids. I've had such a rough time with them lately. It seems like everyone else is having a hard time with kids right now, too. Is it a spring thing?

Neglecting: the garden. There's a lot of work to do out there, but we've had a lot of rain, so it's been hard to get outside to do yard work. I'm glad I have something to blame it on, though. If it weren't raining, I'd have to face the truth - that I'm tired and unmotivated. But for now... RAIN!

Thankful for: simplicity. It's not very often that things are simple and easy, so I really appreciate when they are!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Eva Was Here Part IV

Monday was Eva's birthday. My baby is four! 

I tell you no lie, she wanted to go to Moochie's for lunch on her birthday. "I just really feel like french fries," she explained. And I had to oblige. 



I'm pretty sure that turning four is not going to save me from Eva's messes. But I can always hope and pray that changing the number for her age will stop her from drawing on my bed sheets and leaving food all over the place. Fingers crossed!

Here are some of her activities from the week before her birthday:








Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Their Names

One of the funnest parts of having babies was getting to choose my children's names. It's not always easy; there are a lot of names I like. I also wanted to have some kind of story or reason for each of my kids' names. As a young adult, I worked with a girl who came from a big family, and each kid had a really neat story behind their name, so I would always ask her to tell me the names of her siblings and how the names were chosen.

My kids all have stories behind their names, but they aren't as elaborate as my former co-worker's. Since I use pseudonyms for my children on this blog, I can't really tell you the full stories of their names, but I can tell you about their middle names!

Nicky's middle name is Brock.


IMG_0667-4x6


I have a little brother named Brock who was my sidekick for most of his childhood. Scotty's grandpa's last name is Brock as well, so as we were trying to pick a middle name for Nicky, we decided to go with Brock - thereby, giving him a name that represented both our families. To this day, I have moments where I almost call Nicky "Brock," as if he's my little brother following me around.

Daisy's middle name is Cleora.


Baby Portrait 1

When I was pregnant with Daisy, we didn't find out what we were having, we showed up at the hospital with a list of names and didn't settle on one until right before we left to go home.

One of the middle names we were considering was Cleora - Scotty's grandma's name. Cleora died from leukemia when Scotty was about six. I always thought that I'd never met her, but then a few years into our marriage, it suddenly dawned on me that I had met her! When I was very little, I had a friend named Jessica. We went to preschool together, and her mom was my dance teacher. They moved away before we started kindergarten. Jessica happens to be Scotty's cousin. One day Scotty mentioned that his grandma used to have a pool in her backyard. For some reason, his grandparent's house had always seemed familiar to me, but when he described the pool, I finally realized that I had been there before! I had been swimming in that pool with Jessica! I had met Scotty's grandma!

Anyway, I always thought Cleora was a pretty name, and I considered it for a possible girl's middle name, but Scotty's cousin had recently had a daughter and named her Cleora, and I didn't want to encroach on the family name. We were 90% settled on a different middle name: Cecelia... which meant nothing to us. I just liked it. Then the night before we left the hospital with Daisy, I had a dream where I kept calling her Daisy Cleora. I realized that every time I said her name, Cleora came out instead of Cecelia. It was clear that she was meant to be named after Cleora.

Zoe's middle name is Lillian.



With Zoe, we again didn't find out what we were having, so we needed some time to finalize the name before we filled out the birth certificate paperwork. We were considering the names Kamryn or Tessa with Lillian as a backup. For sure, Lillian would be included in her name - we just weren't sure if it would be her first name or her middle name.

When Zoe was born, and we saw her squishy bulldog face (she was pretty beat up from being breech), she didn't look like a Kamryn or a Tessa. I felt like she needed a two-syllable name that ended in the "E" sound. Lillian would have worked - with Lilly for short. I spent a lot of time staring at her, trying to figure out what her name was. Scotty and I finally settled on Zoe Lillian.

Lillian was my great-grandmother, and I absolutely adored her! She passed away when I was 7 or 8, and I was really sad about it because I sincerely believed she was going to live forever. I've always wished my middle name had been Lillian, so I couldn't pass up the chance to name one of my daughters after my great-grandma.

Eva's middle name is Evalene.

2007882_137 

I really hoped that Eva was going to be a boy. When Scotty and I caught an accidental glimpse of the ultrasound, we were pretty sure we'd both seen girl parts. It turns out that "possibly knowing" what you're having is a lot harder than "not knowing," so I had my doctor do a gender check at the next appointment. Indeed, we were having a girl.

I wasn't sad that we were having a girl, but I was sad that I would never get another boy.

But back to Eva...

(whose pseudonym was chosen for her middle name. It's "Evah," like, "Don't you evah do that again! Nevah evah!" but if you pronounce it "Eeva" that's okay. I don't expect you to keep my kids' fake names straight! I can hardly keep their real names straight!)

Eva's middle name came to us while joking about made-up names. I was telling Scotty we could name her after my grandparents, Evans and Marlene. Her middle name could be Marlans! We laughed, and then I said, "Or Evalene!" and well, Evalene was actually really pretty (according to me). I fell in love with it! So Evalene it is.

My grandpa died later that year, and one of my fondest memories of his last months was when I took Eva to his house to meet him and my grandma. My grandpa sat on the couch and held her, even though his body was hardly functional, and he had the sweetest look on his face.

-----

And there you have it - the stories of all my kids' middle names. They definitely aren't page-turners, but I'm glad that each child's name has some sort of meaning.

There are a lot of names I'm sad I never got to use. If we'd ever had a second boy, I wanted him to be named after Scotty. I would've loved to name a daughter after my grandma who passed away last year. I'd still love to have a Tessa. But I have to lay those names to rest because, even though I could name 30 more children, I can't raise any more. 

Friday, April 12, 2019

Project: Use the Food, Week 1

Last week I wrote about how I have a lot of food in my house, and I still keep grocery shopping. I wanted to try for at least two weeks (but ideally four) to use what I have and not buy unneeded groceries. I also hoped to not go out to eat without purpose (I'll tell you straight up, I failed at that).


Here is the rundown of what we have eaten and spent on groceries for the past week (when I say "we" it's really more like "I" cause let's be honest, my family won't eat anything I fix):

Friday, April 5


Breakfast: Avocado toast, strawberries, banana
Lunch: Fajitas
Dinner: Cafe Rio

Saturday, April 6


Breakfast: Banana sour cream pancakes and coconut syrup
Lunch: Chicken wraps
Dinner: Hamburgers

Conference snack: Chili cream cheese dip

Sunday, April 7


Breakfast: Biscuits and gravy, hashbrowns, eggs
Lunch:  Strawberry avocado chicken salad
Dinner: Chile verde over hashbrowns

Conference snack: Pioneer Woman's Texas sheet cake

Monday, April 8


Breakfast: Smoothie, avocado toast
Lunch: Chicken wrap
Dinner: Chicken pot pie

Tuesday, April 9


Breakfast: Leftover banana pancakes and coconut syrup
Lunch: Arctic Circle
Dinner: Tandoori chicken and turmeric rice

Wednesday, April 10


Breakfast: Cornflakes
Lunch: Egg salad sandwich
Dinner: Creamy beef and shells

Thursday, April 11


Breakfast: Avocado toast
Lunch: Sushi
Dinner: Leftovers

Groceries Purchased:

  • 6 gallons milk
  • Bag of Smarties
  • Yeast
  • 2 loaves bread
  • Lemonade
Total spent: $21.87

For the most part, things went well. I refrained from unnecessary grocery shopping. We go through almost a gallon of milk a day, so for that, alone, I need to plan on spending about $12-14 a week. I didn't have to buy any produce this week because I had some on hand (lots of avocados, if you can't tell). 

I had some blips where I went out to eat without purpose... like after I spent the whole morning at the school on Tuesday and couldn't stand the thought of coming home to fix lunch, or when I decided on Wednesday that I needed "second breakfast" and I went to McDonald's.

I AM WEAK!


-----------------

Speaking of weak, here's an edit to this post. I originally wrote this post yesterday afternoon. Then last night, I went to the store and bought:
  • 10 lbs of potatoes
  • 2 small boxes of pudding mix
  • chopped pecans
  • Another lemonade
So now my total for the week is $32.40

Let it be known that I have an addiction to this lemonade:

I try to only have it once a week, but this week I'm going wild and having it twice. 

So there. 



Sunday, April 7, 2019

First Quarter Books

I decided to try something new this year and do a blog post at the end of each quarter to share some of the books I've enjoyed. Key word: some. So far I've read 18 books in 2019, and I've liked most of them (that's not always the case). For this quarter, I chose four to share.

The first is Refugee by Alan  Gratz.


This book is recommended for ages 8 & up, however, I know I'd never be able to get my 12-year-old to read it (that boy and his distaste for reading... in so many ways, he is just like me, but he hates reading. I can't fault him for it, though because I didn't like reading until I was in my 20's. So I guess, in this way, he is definitely still my kid).

Refugee tells the stories of three young refugees from three different eras: Josef in Nazi Germany in the 1930's, Isabel in Cuba in 1994, and Mahmoud in Syria in 2015.

I wouldn't consider this a "page turner," in fact, it feels like required reading for school, but it's very well-done and important. It shares some of the tragic realities of trying to seek refuge through fleeing one's home. The three stories from different time periods help illustrate that we are not as far removed from these problems as we may sometimes feel. It is a reality of the past and a reality of the present, and it's shared at a level that's appropriate for a younger audience

The stories of Josef and Mahmoud were particularly hear-wrenching for me because these young boys reminded me of my own son, and I couldn't help but imagine him in their place.

The next book is Columbine  by Dave Cullen.


I don't really know how to give a synopsis of this book. It's a non-fiction piece about Columbine, as you might guess from the title. Written in 2009, it could use some updating in regards to things that have happened in the past ten years, but I feel it's well-done and offers several corrections to information that was fueled by the media. 

What happened at Columbine was absolutely horrific and beyond my ability to imagine. I don't have any answers for how to solve or prevent the problem of mass violence (likewise, I don't have the answer for refugees), and that makes me feel helpless and frustrated. 

I was in junior high when the massacre at Columbine took place, and reading this book gave me the opportunity to reflect on my understanding of what happened and how it affected the remainder of my high school years. A lot of the things my peers and I believed about the tragedy were not accurate. 

My third book is Scythe by Neal Shusterman.


It's been a long time since I ventured into a YA novel. Scythe is the first book in the Arc of the Scythe series. Book two, Thunderhead, has been published, and the third will be published later this year. 

(I have read Thunderhead, and for a quick review, I will say that it had a lot of transitional content leading to the third book. I didn't enjoy it as much as Scythe, so my review is really dependent on that third book. This has the potential to be a stellar series, but it could also crash and burn. No pressure, Shusterman).

Scythe ventures into a world that has been "perfected." There is no disease, no poverty, and no natural death. In this society, death is brought about by scythes who must meet a killing quota to keep the population under control. Two teenagers, Citra and Rowan, are selected to serve as scythe apprentices, but only one of them will be granted the title of scythe. 

This book is macabre without being overly gory. It had some depth and quality that really made me think. What is the purpose of death? What right do we have to stop it or cause it? 

The last book I'll share today is Silent Souls Weeping by Jane Clayson Johnson.


This book is directed toward members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's a collection of various experiences of Church members who have suffered from depression and other mental illnesses. 

I didn't expect to be as touched by this book as I was. This is not a book to fix depression but to contribute to understanding. Johnson shares her own experience with depression as well as stories from many others. Some of those stories are uplifting and full of hope. Others are very heavy, and I have to admit, make me feel fear. But I appreciate the realistic approach to discussing depression. Sometimes there are important things a person can learn through suffering mental illness. Other times there are tragedies that leave us wondering if there's anything we could have done. The important thing is that we all develop compassion and understanding toward one another. 

In this book, I found my own story, and I also found the story of dear friend. There were other stories that made me weep for people who have suffered in ways I haven't. Suffice it to say, I cried a lot, but it was good crying. 

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Project: Use the Food

Can I make some confessions?

I overspend on groceries. I know I'm not alone - it's a very easy area to go over budget, especially if you fall prey to impulse buying (Who? Me? Never!


Some of the reasons I overspend are:

1. I grocery shop to escape

I use grocery shopping as a coping mechanism. If things are stressful or if I can't stand the thought of staying home for one more minute, I convince myself that I need to go grocery shopping. After all, grocery shopping is a way of serving my family, right? I have to feed them! So I can ignore other necessary tasks by completing the noble assignment of grocery shopping!

2. If I'm dragging kids into the store for one item, I feel like I should make it worth my while and come out with ten

It never feels worth it to buy just the gallon of milk. Perhaps I can save myself a future trip to the store by grabbing mayonnaise, apples, and ibuprofen.

3.  If I have the money, I'll spend it whether I need to or not

There are weeks where I could get by with $10-20 for milk and produce, but I always end up spending my entire budget and then some just because I know I can.

Then there's my other problem... going out to eat. 

I go out to eat way too often (especially on the days I grocery shop because I'm so exhausted from buying food). 

I also obsessively meal prep and then never eat the food. Several weeks ago I marinated 10 lbs of chicken, grilled it, then froze it for quick lunches. Haven't touched it since. 

The other day I made a pan of mac and cheese and a batch of tomato bisque to freeze. Who knows when I'll get around to eating any of that since I made a double batch of fajita meat that my kids won't come within five feet of. Now I have chicken fajitas coming out my ears! And it doesn't help that I went crazy tonight and had to leave the house, and I ended up at Zupas. 

Darn that pesto chicken sandwich! Such a temptress!

I have so much food in my house, yet I still went grocery shopping today, so it's time for me to implement Project: Use the Food as way to, um... use the food. 

I've been trying to chill out on the grocery hoarding for weeks, but I haven't made myself accountable, so that's where the blog comes in. It's such a great accountability tool! 

So here's what I'm going to do - for a minimum of two weeks, I am going to post a run down of what I fed my family and what I bought at the grocery store each week (I'm actually hoping for four weeks, but I'm not ready to make that commitment yet). 

With this project, my goals are to:
  • Save some money to put toward an upcoming trip
  • Use what I have
  • Free up some space in my freezer (there isn't a free inch of space in there)
  • Spend less than $20 on groceries each week
  • EAT AT HOME!!!
Now, in regards to eating out, my aim is to only eat out if there is a purpose. So girls night next week? Yes, I'm eating out. But random Wednesday when I'm feeling lazy and don't want to cook? Stay home and make PB&J. 

The fun begins... now!






Tuesday, April 2, 2019

50 Questions Answered

(Because I know you lay awake at night wondering...)

Do you prefer writing with black or blue ink?

I'm cool with either. For me, it's more about how the ink flows from the pen rather than the color.

Would you prefer to live in the city or the country?

I prefer the suburbs. The city is too busy and too claustrophobic for me, and while there are many things I love about the country, I really like being only a few minutes away from the freeway, the library, and the grocery store.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

I would love to learn how to do a podcast or make decent quality videos to post online.

I also wouldn't mind being able to play the fiddle or harmonica (more than 'O Susanna,' which I've been rockin' since I was like five. Time to branch out).  Carrie Underwood played the harmonica at her last concert we went to, and I was like, "WHY HAVEN'T I EVER LEARNED TO PLAY THE HARMONICA?" Actually, any instrument would be cool. I'm pretty much musically useless.

Carrie Underwood concert

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

I don't drink coffee or tea. Except herbal, but I don't add sugar. Do people add sugar to herbal tea or is that just a black tea thing? I know as much about tea as I do about musical instruments.

What was your favorite book as a child?

The Cay by Theodore Taylor and Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn

Do you prefer baths or showers?

Showers. I don't have the patience for baths.

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

I've never in my life considered the possibility of being a mythical creature, so I feel very unprepared to answer this question.

How about a yeti?



Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

I fine with either one.

What is your favorite item of clothing?

Sweatpants and hoodies.

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

I don't love the name Brittany. It's a bratty name. There's never a nice girl named Brittany in any movie, book, or TV show. Brittanys are always the mean girls, and they always have friends named Ashley, which of course, was my best friend's name in kindergarten.

With that said, I wouldn't change it. It's who I am. But if I ever become an author, I might use a pen name because I don't think Brittany is a good author name.

Who is a mentor to you?

I don't really feel like I have a mentor in my current circumstances - I'm just not doing anything right now that puts me under someone's wing - but in past years one of my biggest mentors has probably been my friend Annette. Others have been my third grade teacher, Mrs. Patterson (as well as many other teachers - I have had the most amazing teachers throughout my life) and my mother-in-law.

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Heck no!

I never want to be famous. But if I ever accidentally am, I hope it's for making the world suck less. And every darn person out there better like me!

Are you a restless sleeper?

Only if I'm sick or going through something really awful. Otherwise I sleep okay.

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Nope.

Which element best represents you?

Neon.



Because sometimes I'm cool and other times I'm totally not.

Who do you want to be closer to?

Um... I don't know. I'm not great at being close to people.

But there's this girl I see everywhere, and I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be friends. So I'll go with that girl.

I'm only a little creepy.

Do you miss someone at the moment?

Yes. Old friends, loved ones who have passed on, and family members who have grown distant.

Tell about an early childhood memory.

One time my dad ate shrimp with the shell on, and I overheard him telling someone that he didn't know he was supposed to take the shell off. I cried for a really long time because I thought he was going to die. That's when my dad sat me down and taught me about the digestive system.

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

There was this one time my mother-in-law wanted to make some authentic pioneer food, so she got this recipe for some kind of gelatinous substance made from boiled pig ears. I helped make it, but I didn't eat any.

I haven't had a lot of strange food in my life, so probably just escargots and a burger with peanut butter on it.

What can you see outside your bedroom window?

A tree, my front yard, the road, and my neighbor's house across the street.

What are you most thankful for?

I think I'm obligated to say my family, which is true. But aside from that obvious answer, my mind.

Do you like spicy food?

A little bit of spice is okay.

Have you ever met someone famous?

We hang out with Larry the Cable Guy and Alfonso Ribiero every now and then.

Do you keep a journal?

Yes, I do. For the most part, my blog serves as my journal, but I also have a private journal that I write in a few times a year.

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pen.

What is your zodiac sign?

Capricorn.

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy. Scotty likes his soggy and will pour a bowl of cereal and then go take a shower while it sits.


What would you want your legacy to be?

As long as the positive outweighs the negative, I'm good.

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

Do I like reading? C'mon!

Of course I like reading! The last thing I read was Silent Souls Weeping by Jane Clayson Johnson. I cried through the whole thing.



How do you show people you love them?

I feed them.

Do you like ice in your drinks?

I like ice in my water and in my fountain drinks. I don't like adding ice to soda poured from a 2 liter bottle, and it's my pet peeve when 2 liters are served room temperature at a party. However, that's a problem of the past because I quit drinking soda.

What are you afraid of?

Injuring myself as I sit down on a loose toilet seat.

I'm not even kidding.

What is your favorite scent?

Cabbage Patch doll. Someone please validate me here. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? If not, go buy yourself a Cabbage Patch doll and sniff it.

Do you address older people by their first or last name?

Usually I call them by their first names unless it's in a church situation in which I refer to them as Brother or Sister So-and-So.

If money wasn't a factor, how would you live your life?

For the most part, I hope I'd live the same way I'm living now. I don't want to be defined or changed by money.

I'd definitely hire someone to finish my basement, though, and I'd randomly pay for other people's groceries. I've always wanted to do that!

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

Neither. I don't like swimming.

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Girls' night at Moochie's for me and three friends!

Have you ever seen a shooting star? 

Sure!

What is one thing you want to teach your children?

Self-reliance. I love my kids, but my ultimate goal is for them to move out of my house.

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would it be?



Something Robin Hood-ish. How about Oo de Lally and an arrow on my forearm?



What can you hear right now?

Four children not sleeping.

Where do you feel the safest?

At home.

What is one thing you want to overcome?


Just one? Oh good grief. I guess I should start with my tendency to be very easily annoyed.

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

The 90's.

What is your most used emoji?


I use about a thousand of these a day:

What is your favorite season?

Fall. It's always a relief to be able to wear pants again after a summer of looking very unattractive in knee-length shorts.

How would you spend your ideal day?

An ideal day day for me right now would be a day without my kids fighting. I don't care how I spend it. I'd scrub toilets all day! Just make my kids get along!

Describe yourself using one word.

Punctual.

What do you regret the most?

I regret not treating my body better when I was young.

Invent your own word. What does it mean?

My step-sister and I invented the word "daduntdadunts." It means underwear.

You're welcome.


Monday, April 1, 2019

The Incident

Nearly two years ago, I graduated from BYU-Idaho.


I wrote about my graduation here, but there are a few things I didn't tell you.

So let's go back in time a little and revisit one of the most memorable days of my life.

When my family traveled to Idaho for my graduation, we stayed in Idaho Falls, which is about 40 minutes away from campus. We had plans to stop at campus to get my name card and other graduation necessities and then eat at Big Jud's, meet my parents at Bear World, and go back to campus for the ceremonies. I decided to go ahead and wear my dress for the whole day because we weren't going back to our hotel at all.

That morning, on campus, we snapped a few photos to beat the graduation crowds.


Please note that this was my favorite dress, and those were my favorite sandals. 

As I mentioned, we stopped at Big Jud's for lunch. We were supposed to then go to Bear World to meet my parents. As we were leaving Big Jud's, I was admiring the local farmland through the van window as my meal was working its way through my system. I felt a little air develop in my bowels, and I attempted to release it. 

Without going into too much detail, let's just say... it wasn't air. 

I screamed, and Scotty slammed on the breaks because, clearly, we were about to die. He yelled, "What? WHAT??? What's wrong???" 

I just froze and stared straight forward. 

Scotty kept prompting me to tell him what the heck was going on. Finally, I looked over at him and said, "I just sharted."

After Scotty had his I-thought-someone-was-dying! Don't-ever-scream-like-that-again! freak out, he asked, "What do we need to do?" We were in the middle of nowhere - no gas stations, no businesses. Just potato field after potato field. There was no way I was going to go into a public bathroom anyway, so we decided to go to a park we'd seen in Rexburg that had a bathroom near the road. 

When we got there, to my dismay, there was a group of mothers picnicking right by the bathrooms. I stood up and had Scotty check the back of my dress, and he confirmed that I would not want to be seen from behind. Indeed, the circumstances were unfortunate. 

I wasn't sure what to do. My graduation dress was now unusable, and we were 40 minutes from our hotel. My saving grace was that we'd been to our friends' cabin for a few days before we went to my graduation, and we still had the bag of dirty laundry in the trunk of the van. I was able to salvage a gross pair of cut-off workout pants that I'd used for pajamas at the cabin. We were also able to go to a Deseret Book where Scotty ran in and got me a new pair of garments

Meanwhile, I had to text my mom and tell her we were going to be significantly late for Bear World. 

While Scotty was in the store, I started considering how I was going to get out of my dress and into my other clothes. My dress had no zippers and could only be removed over the head, which was far too risky. So I had to sacrifice my dress. My favorite dress!

We pulled into a church parking lot. I sent my family to a grassy area to have a snack, and then I took a pair of scissors (one more reason to always keep scissors in the car), cut my dress at the waist, and removed everything from my bottom half and put it in a grocery bag. Then I put on my new garments, and my dirty cut-offs that smelled like camp-fire. I lifted the other half of my dress over my head, added it to the bag, and put on my BYU-Idaho t-shirt I'd purchased that morning, not knowing how desperately I would need it that day. 

Eventually we made it to Bear World. 

After that, we went to Walmart where I found a really ugly dress on clearance for $6. On my way into the store, my sandal broke, so I also snagged a cheap pair of red shoes. I went into the bathroom and changed my clothes, then Scotty drove me to BYU-Idaho where I attended convocation and commencement not being able to tell a soul that I'd just thrown my favorite dress in a dumpster in a church parking lot.

These fine ladies had no idea. 

And that, my friends, is what I refer to as "the incident."

Alternate titles: 

"The day I threw my dress in a Rexburg church dumpster"

"The time I shat myself on graduation day"

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Or is this all just an April Fool's Joke? I'll leave that to you to figure out.