Thursday, May 26, 2022

May Reads

I'm happy to say that May proved to be a better reading month than April. I have two books I'm on the brink of finishing, but I'll roll them into June's post. I am moments away from my kids' summer break, so I'm interested to see what happens to my reading habits while they're out of school. If only I could get them to read... sigh...

Anyway, without further banter, here are the books I read in May:

The Maid by Nita Prose

(mystery, contemporary)

Format: audiobook

Summary: Molly, a meticulous maid at the Regency Grand Hotel, finds one of the hotel guests dead in his suite and ends up in the center of a murder investigation. 

Content: A few swear words

Review:****

Final statement: I thought this book was really "cute" (not the usual adjective for a murder mystery), and I found Molly quite endearing. Also, just a note, this book is not to be confused with Maid, the memoir by Stephanie Land.


Home Front by Kristin Hannah

(family, war)

Format: paperback

Summary: During a time of marital difficulty, Jolene, a military helicopter pilot, is deployed to Iraq, leaving her husband and two daughters. 

Content: A few swear words and some mild marital passion, but I would let my grandma read this.

Review: ****

Final statement: This book was recommended by my friend whose husband served in Iraq. She and her husband both said that some of the feelings and situations described in this book were very real to them, so it was interesting to soak some of that in. I can't even imagine!


The Paris Library by Janet Skeslien Charles

(historical fiction, WWII)


Format: e-book

Summary: Odile works in the American Library in Paris when the Nazis begin to take and burn books and ban patrons from accessing literature. The book is based on true stories of librarians during WWII who protected books from the Nazi regime and participated in resistance efforts. Odile is fictional, but many historical figures are included and woven throughout the story.  

Content: A few swear words and sexual situations - a little more than I’d let my grandma read.

Review: ****

Final statement: Unfortunately, when I read this book, I was extremely distracted by some things going on outside of my little world of books, so I read it with only half a brain. I enjoyed the book but missed a lot because my mind was mush.


The Spirit of Revelation by David A. Bednar

(religion, Christianity, non-fiction)


Format: audiobook

Summary: David A. Bednar, an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, discusses ten principles of receiving, recognizing, and acting on personal revelation. Then he shares some of his personal experiences with those principles. 

Content: churchy goodness

Review: *****

Final statement: This book is divided into two sections. The first section reviews and outlines ten principles of personal revelation. The second section is composed of examples of how revelation has come into Elder Bednar's life. I found the first section to be the most pertinent and can think of examples of each principle in my own experiences (in other words, if you want to cheat... just read the first section. Then skim or skip the second. But you didn't get that advise from me!)


The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

(young adult, contemporary, LGBTQ, poetry, coming of age)

Format: e-book

Summary: Teen Xio finds poetry as an outlet for her experiences with her faith, friends, and family. 

Content: language, sexual situations and descriptions, casual teen drinking and drug use.

Review: ****

Final statement: I'm very conflicted about this book because I really enjoyed it, but the reason I read it is because it is required in my son's 9th grade English class, and the teacher sent out a description of some of the book content to parents as an FYI. After reading it, I don't think it should be required reading for school. That gets into the controversial topic of censorship and banned books, and I don't want to go there. Nicky and I have talked a lot about this book (and a few others that are required at his school). 


The Nanny by Gilly McMillan

(thriller, crime)


Format: audiobook

Summary: Jo and her daughter move home with Jo's mother after the death of Jo's husband. Shortly after their arrival, human remains are found in the nearby lake, and Jo's childhood nanny, who left without a trace when Jo was seven, suddenly reappears. 

Content: Language

Review: ***

Final statement: This book was somewhat entertaining, but it's one of those books where the characters do a lot of stupid things that have you asking, "How are you so dumb?" I stuck it out, but you're not missing much if you never read this book. 


After the End by Clare Mackintosh

(contemporary, ethics)

Format: audiobook

Summary: Max and Pip's toddler son, Dylan, has cancer, and they must make the grueling decision to either continue fighting for his life or stop treatment at the recommendation of their medical providers. Max and Pip disagree on what to do and end up taking the case to court - against each other. The story explores the possible outcomes of each parent's wishes. 

Content: Language

Review: ****

Final statement: I always enjoy a book that raises ethical questions. When should life be prolonged and at what cost? I hope I never have to make that kind of decision. This book really made me think, and what really makes it interesting is that the author, herself, had to make those decisions with her own child, so this book was written with that experience. I commend her for what she has been through and how she was able to channel that into a novel.


The Truth About Melody Browne by Lisa Jewell

(family drama, mystery, coming of age)


Format: e-book

Summary: Melody Browne has no memories prior to age nine. After participating in a hypnotist's performance, she begins to have memories resurface, and she discovers that she hasn't always been Melody Browne. Over time, Melody discovers who she really is.

Content: Language, infant death

Review: ****

Final statement: This is another book I feel conflicted about. I enjoyed it, but there was one interesting plot thread that left me going, "Really? How do I feel about that?" Without giving too much away, it involves Melody's relationship with a man named Ken. It's just... weird. So if you ever read this book, please email me and tell me what you think of Ken. I need to know.


Where the Forest Meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah

(contemporary, magical realism)


Format: hardback from the library

Summary: Jo is a cancer survivor and graduate student studying indigo buntings for the summer in Illinois when she finds a young girl in the forest who claims she is an alien. 

Content: Brief language and sexual situations (non-descriptive)

Review: ****

Final statement: This was my book club's selection for May. I read it, but I wasn't able to make to to book club this month. 


The End of Her by Shari Lapena

(thriller, mystery)

Format: audiobook

Summary: Some guy might have killed his first wife. Or maybe he didn't. But either way, some nasty woman named Erika is going around blackmailing everyone, and the guy's second wife has to decide what to believe.

Content: I don't remember... but probably sex and language. 

Review: ***

Final statement: This one kept me entertained and curious, but it's not one I would recommend. The characters are horrible and have no redeeming qualities. This book is like getting juicy gossip from an unreliable friend. You drink it up, but you know most of it is blown out of proportion and completely untrue.  


Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult

(contemporary, women's fiction)


Format: audiobook

Summary: Diana gets stuck in the Galapagos Islands when the world shuts down for COVID.

Content: Brief language and sex. 

Review:****

Final statement: This book felt a little premature for me, as I'm not ready for COVID novels. The pandemic isn't far enough behind us yet (especially for an epilogue taking place in 2023). At the half-way point, I wasn't liking the book at all and was planning on a two-star rating. I didn't like the characters, and I wasn't thrilled about some of Diana's behaviors and mentalities. But as the book went on, it grew on me. By the time I finished it and read the author's note explaining her reasons for writing this story, I'd been won over! 


Fifty Words for Rain by Asha Lemmie

(historical fiction, coming of age)


Format: e-book

Summary: Nori is of illegitimate birth, born into a high ranking Japanese family. Her grandmother mistreats her for 453 pages. 

Content: A couple of swears, rape (non-descriptive)

Review:****

Final statement: Another blogger tagged this book as "tragedy porn" - meaning the book thrives on bad things happening to the protagonist incessantly. That is accurate. This story is not happy, and the ending is unsatisfactory. Despite that, I liked it! 

-------------------------------------------------

I would like to note that three of the books I read in May feature female protagonists named Jo. There are always little things that interweave between one book and the next. Sometimes it's a theme or a similar plot. Sometimes it's the name of a character or the setting of the story. Even when I try to pick something drastically different from one book to the next, there is always something that carries over. One of these days I'm going to map it out. 








Monday, May 23, 2022

Feathery, Little Antidepressants

Last week I met up with my friend Lynsie to have lunch for her birthday. Lynsie lives about 40 minutes away, so we’ve developed a tradition of meeting for lunch in the middle. 

It’s like the old Diamond Rio song…

I start driving your way…
You start driving mine…
We meet in the middle…
‘Neath that Chinese food sign…

On the way home from lunch, I had a little bit of time to burn, and then I needed to check Daisy out of school so she could go to the junior high to tryout for the dance team. I have some suet cage bird feeders in my backyard that I wanted to get some new suet bricks for, so I went to IFA to pick some up. 

Every year, the IFA sign, visible from the freeway, reads “Pick up chicks here.” (You are funny, IFA). As I drove past the sign, I thought, “I could get some chicks while Scotty's in Mexico!” 

You see, Scotty wants to be done with chickens when our current ones pass on. I kind of don’t. A few years ago, I was ready to be done with chickens, but then there was a pandemic, and it was hard to find eggs. We live right by an egg farm, and cars would line up for hours to wait for an egg delivery, and the police would have to come direct traffic. With all of the things that were short on supply as the pandemic rolled in, I was incredibly grateful that I could go out in my backyard and get eggs. It made me never want to live without chickens. 

I wasn't really going to get chicks at IFA, but I circled them again and again. “Just looking,” of course. “For informational purposes.”

I ended up with three in a box on my passenger seat. I dunno what happened! But I do know this: a chicken costs less than a carton of eggs right now (darn you, avian flu)!

One by one my kids came home from their various schools and activities and discovered the chicks, which I had put in our living room. They all fell in love. As did I. 


Chicks are magical! And wonderful! And so very special!

I have loved having baby chickens around the house. And I’m just as bad as the kids. I got out an old dollhouse, and I was all…

“Daisy, put the gray one on the couch!”


“Now put one on the toilet and one in the bathtub!”


“Now put one in the house and pretend the other one is coming to visit!”


I also pushed them around the living room in a Barbie car while singing, “They see me rollin’… they hatin’…”

BEST. THING. EVER!!!


And then we all went out for pizza.


I decided to name the chickens after antidepressants - Celexa, Paxil, and Zoloft - because they lifted my mood so much. Then my kids overruled me and named them Princess, Sophie, and Eva (Zoe picked the name Eva, and she doesn't know that her little sister goes by Eva on this blog. So now I have Eva the chicken and Eva the pseudonym).

Scotty wasn't thrilled about the chicks, but I think he has forgiven me. I can sense loving vibes coming out of him as our children shove the babies in his face. I've even caught him hanging out with them in the backyard.

Sunday, May 22, 2022

Wham Bam Bread in a Can

One of my daily rituals is to send screenshots to my friend Lynsie of all the weird things social media wants me to buy. 

This diamond Jesus pendant, for example...


One day Facebook was trying to entice me to buy some canned bread, so naturally, I had to share that fact with Lynsie. A few days later, an unexpected package arrived on my porch, and the second I saw it, I knew exactly what it was and who sent it!


Lucky me! It even came in a two pack!

But before I go on with my story, I have to ask... did you know canned bread exists? I kind of wonder if canned bread has been like powdered milk historically. Are there families that raised their kids on this stuff? I had no idea there was such a thing as canned bread until Facebook started trying to make me buy it. And I have to wonder, what is it about my online activity that makes Facebook think I need canned bread in my life? (Not to mention all the other bizarre things that pop up in my ads).

I clicked on the link (you got me!) and read through some of the reviews, and there are some die hard canned bread enthusiasts out there (or lying robots. Who knows?)

Everything about canned bread seemed absolutely disgusting to me, but I couldn't just turn my back on Lynsie's gift. So the other day (after the bread sat in my pantry for a month - because you can do that with canned bread), I decided I better try it. 

So I opened a can of bread. 

It looked weird.

It smelled weird. 

It was everything you'd worry that canned bread might be. 


I learned that you have to open both ends of the can to effectively get the bread out. 


And then it comes out looking like cranberry sauce. 

Very unbread-like!


At that point, it can be carved into bread discs to eat. 


And well... it's hard to know what to say. To me, for reasons I don't understand, it had a raisin-like flavor. I tried a little piece (very little), processed the taste for a moment, then bit into another piece and asked my brain, "Are we understanding this correctly?" I was trying to not let the fact that it came from a can cloud my judgement, but it was weird and gross. 

Would I eat it if it would save my life? Fine. Sure. In matters of life or death, canned bread wins. But under any other circumstance, I don't ever need to eat canned bread again.  

Now I’m just waiting for my $1,200 Jesus pendant to arrive because, surely, Lynsie has ordered me one.

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Ten Things That Happened While Scotty was in Mexico

Scotty took his first post-pandemic work trip this week. He went to Mexico City for a few days and then took a flight to Campeche (which I've never heard of...) It's hard to believe it's been over two years since he last traveled for work! But years have past, and he doesn't even have the same job he had when the pandemic began. His new job doesn't seem to require quite as much travel as the last one, but we don't really know... because pandemic. 

Obligatory Mexican Food Photo

In the past, whenever Scotty has traveled, I've tried my darndest to keep it together, but there's always some sort of crisis or big event while he's gone. Originally, when this trip was planned, he was slated to miss Mother's Day, our anniversary, and our girls' dance concerts. But at the last minute, they changed travel dates because Mexico celebrates Mother's Day on May 10th, and the facilities Scotty needed to visit would be closed. I was so relieved he didn't miss dance concert week because it's a really stressful time for me. It's nice to have him there so I can yell, "Hand me a bobby pin! Fasten that costume! Find Zoe's other shoe!"

Nevertheless, things were hectic and busy while Scotty was in Mexico, and we had a few curveballs thrown at us. Here are ten things that happened while he was gone:

1. Zoe started with a herpes outbreak in her mouth, but luckily, she told me about it as soon as the sores started, and I was able to get her on an antiviral and nip it in the bud right away!

2. My credit card and debit card got flagged for fraudulent activity. So did Scotty's and Nicky's cards, and all because I was trying to cheat at Subway and get BOGO footlongs twice. 

3. Zoe decided five minutes before auditions that she wanted to try out for a dance team, so I abandoned dinner and ran out the door with her. 

4. The house was eighty degrees for three days. 

5. I spontaneously brought home three baby chickens (follow up post to come). 

6. One of the blinkers went out in the van. 

7. I lost my budgeting notebook, which I live by, for four days. I scoured the house over and over and finally found it inside a cookbook in my pantry. 

8. I made taco soup, and when I grabbed a bag of corn from the freezer to put in it, I was startled to discover it was actually a bag of pizza rolls. I had to fish about twenty pizza rolls out of the soup. Then the soup was too spicy to eat so I had to triple it to dilute the spiciness. 

9. I tried canned bread (follow up post to come).

10. I had a 2.5 cm cyst removed from an unmentionable location on my body and then walked out of the doctors office with a big lump of gauze bulging in my pants. 

As a bonus, on Friday, I ended up eating lunch among a group of gay swingers. How did I know they were gay swingers? They had t-shirts advertising them as such. 

After a slight delay due to malfunctioning toilets on the plane, Scotty flew home from Mexico City and arrived safe and sound! 


Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Twenty Years

Next month is my 20th high school reunion. That went by pretty fast, but at the same time, I look at teenagers nowadays and there is clearly a generation gap there. I am not young anymore! Hence my midlife crisis. 

In honor of my 20th reunion (that I'm not going to), here's a little high school questionnaire:

What year did you graduate?

2002

Graduation

What were your school colors?

Navy blue, silver, and white

Did your school have a mascot?

Our mascot was a wolverine, but we didn't have a person running around in a wolverine costume at sporting events. Perhaps we are worse off for it! There is a taxidermied wolverine in a glass case inside the school, though. 

What was your favorite subject?

Psychology

Were you involved in student government?

Nope

Did you do any extracurricular activities?

I was on the dance team, and every year I signed up for French Club but never actually went to a French Club activity.

What were the cheerleaders like?

They were all really good people - nothing like they are in TV and movies. The cheer captain was one of my best friends. 

Did you have a favorite teacher?

I had a handful of teachers I really loved. My French teacher, my AP English teacher, and my AP Psych teacher are tops. I also had a really good math teacher that I think most students didn't appreciate as much as they should have (she still teaches there), and my biotechnology teacher was fun but only because he was a total weirdo. I didn't actually learn anything in his class. 

Michelle and me in our biotech lab coats

Where did you eat lunch?

Usually in the commons area or the courtyard. Sometimes I went home for lunch or walked over to the grocery store to buy potato wedges from the deli or a loaf of French bread. 

How did you get to school?

Eventually I drove myself, but before I was driving, I have no memory of how I got to school! 

Did you have your own car?

Yes - I got a car right before I started my junior year. It was a 1987 VW Jetta, and it had a lot of problems, but it was a beast in the snow! That thing kept me safe... other than breaking down and leaving me stranded a few times. 

My first car - "The Wildebeest"

Did your school have a dress code? If so, what were the most common dress code violations?

There was a pretty standard dress code - no short shorts, no spaghetti straps, no bare midriffs. Just the usual. I don't remember anyone ever getting in trouble for their clothes, though. In junior high, yes, but in high school, not so much. 

Did you ever get in trouble?

Not really. The only thing I can think of was that my dance teacher got after me for being disrespectful to a choreographer once, and I got a parking ticket once for parking outside of a parking spot. 

What was your love life like? Did you have a high school sweetheart?

My love life was complicated because I had a boyfriend on a mission (junior and senior year) but still wanted to date and still wanted boys to like me. Scotty was my boyfriend from 9th grade on, but we didn't actually go to school together. So does that count as a high school sweetheart? I'm not sure what the rules are!

What newsworthy events took place while you were in high school?

Columbine, 9/11, and the Olympics in Salt Lake City

Elizabeth Smart was abducted a few days after I graduated.

What were some of the fashion trends?

Low-cut flared jeans, flip-flops, head scarves, visors, Old Navy performance fleece, puka shell necklaces, highlighted hair

Did you have a locker?

Yes - two, in fact! A regular locker and a gym locker for dance. 

Jessica, Michelle, and me in our spacious gym lockers

Did you have a job?

I worked at a snow cone shack, a boutique in the mall, and a donut shop. For the last half of my senior year, I didn't work (I was laid off from the donut shop). 

Is anyone from your school famous?

Not really. I think a few went to the NFL and such, but I can't name a single one of them.

What TV shows were popular?

Friends, X-Files, ER, Scrubs

Then right after I graduated was when reality TV boomed with American Idol, The Bachelor, etc.

Did you go on a senior trip?

Yes. My friends Michelle, Lynsie, Jessica, and I went to Las Vegas... with my parents. 

Jessica, Me, Michelle, and Lynsie
(Please note our cross-body bags and Michelle's awesome belt)

Have you been to any reunions?

Nope

How many people were in your graduating class?

Between 500-600

Do you still see your high school friends?

Many of them, yes. In fact, I have had five (yes, FIVE) sisters-in-law and one baby mama in my family that I went to high school with (only one remains currently). So you have to be nice to everyone because you never know who you'll end up related to at some point!

A lot of us still live in the same community, and now our kids are going to school or taking dance classes together. 

Do you have high school nightmares?

Yes! I can't remember my locker combination, I haven't been to math class for the entire term, and I don't know the dance choreography! 

Did you end up where you thought you would be now?

For the most part, yes, but in all honesty, as the teenage brain is prone to do, I didn't really think twenty years in the future. 

Monday, May 16, 2022

I am drinking the perfect blend of Vanilla Coke from Maverik right now (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: The other day, I decided I was going to drink a Cherry Coke and a Cherry Pepsi side by side so I could determine which one is best.

My conclusion: I like them both equally. 

It's just good to know these things. 

Fact #2: I used to use the same starting word for Wordle every day,  but I have recently changed and started using different words each day. I'm going to be very upset when one of my former three starting words is the word. I had to change it up, though, so I can send my Wordle results to people and not have them knowing what my starting word was (thereby preventing spoilers in case they haven't done Wordle yet).

Fact #3: I don't send my Wordle results to people a whole lot. Just sometimes - like when I get the word by the skin of my teeth, or when my first word is super amazing, or when there's a good conversation to be had about what unfolded during my Wordle process. 

"People" are mostly Amber. But sometimes Julie. 

But if I ever get the word on the first guess again, I will be sharing with everyone. So just know that. 

Fact #4: A week ago, I was telling some friends about how we still have one of our original chickens, and she's ten years old. I kid you not, she was dead the next morning. 

Fact #5: Every night I read before I go to sleep. Lately, I've been having this new thing happen where I still have my eyes open, and I'm actively reading, but I start dreaming, and I get confused about the plot. I'm reading the words, but my subconscious is creating a story different from what I'm reading. 

I think I'm sleep reading! I even continue scrolling on my phone as I'm "reading," and then when I "wake up," I realize I've "read" a few paragraphs and dreamed up something different from what's on the page. The internet doesn't believe this is possible, but I swear it's happening to me! I swear I am falling asleep with my eyes open and somehow still holding up my phone and reading and scrolling. 

Fact #6: The other morning, I woke up and had 13 text messages. In the night, someone had sent me ten x-ray photos of a woman's elbow with her name and other information. It was from an Oklahoma number and seemed to be intended for a doctor to review. Several hours had passed since the messages came through, so I hoped the person had figured out they had the wrong number, but I texted them "You have the wrong number" to be thorough. 

This morning I was clearing out my voicemail, and I found a recording from a doctor with a thick southern accent asking me if I’d had a chance to review the x-rays. It was from about twenty minutes after the x-rays had been sent to me.  I’m not sure why the voicemail greeting that says, “Hey, this is Britt!” wasn’t a red flag to him. 

I found the whole thing quite amusing, but I hope the "wrong number" didn't leave this poor woman to suffer longer than necessary (not that I can interpret what was wrong with her elbow... it's all dem bones to me!).

Fact #7: Last night I had a dream that I was cast as “Elf #4" in Elf the Musical. I don't know anything about Elf the Musical, so my subconscious fascinates me! Where does it come up with this stuff?

Fact #8: I really love freshly sharpened pencils. My household is overdue for a good pencil sharpening session. I have an unopened box of Ticonderogas at the ready. 

Fact #9: I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis. It might seem a little early, but the average lifespan of an American female was reported to be 78.79 years in 2019, so I'm definitely "mid-life," even though middle-aged is considered to be more in the range of 55-65 years. 

I took a lifespan development course in college, and I remember learning that mid-life crises really aren't a thing, but I'm going through something, and I might as well call it a mid-life crisis because then I can get a sports car or a boob job out of it.

Fact #10: But I don't want a sports car or a boob job. I'll settle for a mini van with lower mileage than my current one and a chin lift. Because I think if I were to have any type of plastic surgery, it would be something to fix my double chin. But don't consider that a firm commitment. I'm not far enough into my midlife crisis to make that decision yet.

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Things the Kids Say: Episode 15

Eva (in the car): I need to go poop.

Me: Do I need to stop somewhere, or can you wait until we get home?

Eva: I can keep it in my storage room until we get home.

----------

Zoe: Mom, I really need a cell phone.

Me: No, you don't.

Zoe: Yes, I do! What if I get amnesia while I'm at school?

Me: Then you won’t remember who to call! 

----------

"Smack that child's fat... Goldfish!"

-Eva

----------

"Mom, when you die, I'm going to steal your phone out of your pocket and play Roblox."

-Eva

----------

Me to Eva: I need you to try and ignore Zoe for a while.

Eva: I can't ignore Zoe! I can only ignore parents!

----------

Katy Parry: You... change your mind... like a girl... changes clothes...

Zoe: This song bothers me. It has the same voice as a villain in my dreams.

----------

"Whoever invented Claire's must be famous, but I don't know what her name is."

-Zoe

----------

Eva: When can I watch YouTube? 

Me: In about fifteen minutes. 

Eva: What?!? I can't wait a whole month!

----------

"My butt itches… (ten second pause)

The cheek... (ten second pause)

Not the crack... (ten second pause)

It's the right cheek."

-Eva

----------

"I'm so hungry! I'm going to starve and die, and I don't want to be with Jesus! I hate heaven!"

-Eva

----------

Zoe: Mom, the music you listened to when you were a kid is so lame. It's all... EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

Me: Hey! That song is awesome!

Zoe: No. It's really not.



Monday, May 2, 2022

Currently {May 2022 Edition}

 Reading:



Wearing: black pants and a hoodie, but it's too hot for the hoodie, so I will need to change pretty soon. 

Struggling with: self-worth and knowing where I belong. I'm wrestling with where I should be putting my energy right now, and I'm having a hard time knowing what's right. 

Annoyed by: chirruping birds right outside my window. I don't like repetitive sounds. 

Another thing I'm annoyed by: the word chirrup. I much prefer chirp, but due to the googling I just did, I now know that chirrup and chirp are slightly different. 

Chirruping is to make repetitive, short, high-pitched sounds. 

Chirping is to make a short, high-pitched sound. 

Therefore, the birds in question are chirruping, though chirping would also be an acceptable description. However, if a bird chirped once, it wouldn't be chirruping. 

You're welcome. 


Excited about: Jurassic World Dominion

Listening to: "You Make Me Happy" by Clare Bowditch 


Thinking about: the abundance of croissants in my freezer and what to do with them. My mother-in-law keeps bringing us croissants. 

Trying: to make it through today without a nap. 

Looking forward to: planting our garden. I have the plants, but we have threatening weather in the forecast, so I'm not going to put them in the ground quite yet. "After Mother's Day" is the rule of thumb for our area. I do have some cold weather crops already growing, though, so that's holding me over for now. 

Watching:

We started Avatar last night and will work on it throughout the week. For some reason, we can't sit through movies unless we're in the theater. We rarely watch a movie in one sitting, but we can sit through the equivalent (and more) in TV episodes. This must be a common thing because I saw a meme about it the other day!

Wanting: a vacation. We'll get one soon. We just need to finish up the school year and all the chaos that comes with it. Speaking of end-of-year chaos, it's teacher appreciation week, and as an appreciator of teachers, I need to come up with something to do for them. Honestly, probably the best-loved and easiest thing I've ever done for my kids' teachers was send them a card with twenty bucks in it because I was lazy and wanted them to have something they'd like. Sure, it's expensive, but they're teachers for crying out loud! They deserve far more than a twenty dollar bill. 

Eating: Jimmy John's. They really are freaky fast!

Missing: Lost. And all my other shows from the early 2000's. Streaming is awesome, and I'm all for it! But binge-watching just isn't the same as having to wait a week for the next episode or several months (sometimes years) for a new season. 

(I am not a very patient person, so I'm quite shocked at the words coming out of my fingers right now). 

Scared of: overly powerful magnets. I have a bunch in my house that I want to get rid of, but in order to safely do so, they need to be demagnetized. 

Sidenote: when Nicky was a baby, he ate a magnet (ironically - he did it while Scotty and I were watching Lost). We took him to urgent care, and they wanted to do an x-ray to see where it was in his digestive tract, but we knew it was in his stomach because we stuck a magnet on the outside of his belly (not recommended - but it saved us a few hundred dollars). They told us if it didn't come out in 5-7 days to bring him back. The dang kid didn't pass the magnet until the final day. I had to search every bowel movement for seven days! 

Playing:

We played Princes of Florence over the weekend, which is a game we really enjoy. But for some reason, we always forget the rules and get confused. It's become a point of humor at game nights because we always promise that we will remember the rules for next time, and then we end up having to look the same rules up over and over.

Buying: neck fans. Because summer is coming.

Singing: "I Know that my Savior Loves Me." 

Loving: the quiet of my kid-free house right now… other than the aforementioned chirruping.

Studying: everything there is to know about the Young Women/Children & Youth program of the Church. I have been delving into every Church-issued resource I can find to try and understand it and implement it better within my stewardship in YW. 

I also did this five months ago when I was first called, but I think serving in the Church is a lot like learning a board game. You need to learn how to play, so you read through the rules and practice until it becomes more natural. But sometimes you have to go back and read the rules again to make sure you haven't adopted too many "house rules” or forgotten something important.

Procrastinating: paying a medical bill for $5.01. 

Dreading: any weather over 65 degrees. The other day I got my shorts out from their winter storage spot under my bed, and none of them fit. 

Sick of: cookies and meat trays from Costco. I have no desire to eat either of those things again for the rest of my life. You may serve them at my funeral someday as a joke... but only because I will be dead. 

Wanting: a fake tan. But I'm not willing to pay for one or get naked for one, and I'm too lazy to apply fake tanning products on myself... plus I don't want to get any fake tan residue on my clothes. So I guess I'll just stay my natural shade of white/pinkish/spotty.

Craving: a hot bath and a nap wrapped in a light blanket for a minimum of five hours with M*A*S*H playing in the background.  Also known as a coccoon-style M*A*S*H nap (it's a thing). 

Grateful for: warm feet and wi-fi.