Three Books that Made Me Feel the Spirit of Elijah

When I was going to school to earn my degree in marriage and family relations, one of the topics we studied was family secrets - how they affect families, how common they are, etc. It was a pretty fascinating thing to study... and something I've since lost. I just remember watching a few therapy sessions with families confronting secrets and finding it all very interesting. 

Family secrets seem to be a common plot thread in novels. There are a plethora of book blurbs that say things like, "Maria's dad passes away and then she finds out she has inherited a house from him that she's never heard of, and it's in another country, and she has to learn all the secrets of her family's past."

(Yeah... don't ever hire me to write book synopses).

This year, I've read a few books of that nature. They frustrate me to some extent because I think, "Why do ya'll have to be so secretive?" but then there wouldn't be a story if these fictional people weren't hinting at their secrets on their death beds, would there? How many books and movies would fail to exist if the characters would just have healthy conversations? 

My annoyance aside, there are three books I've really enjoyed this year that play the family secrets game, and they sparked the Spirit of Elijah in me. My church is very big on family history and the importance of learning our families' pasts and seeking out our ancestors. Elder David A. Bednar described the Spirit of Elijah as, "a distinctive, influence of the Holy Ghost (that) draws people to identify, document, and cherish their ancestors and family members - both past and present." 

These three books, though fictional, all made me feel the importance of connecting to our ancestors and our family stories of the past. 

The first book was The Woman in the White Kimono by Ana Johns. 

I happened to read this book the same week that we studied Doctrine and Covenants section 2, where the second verse talks about turning the hearts of the children to the fathers. President Joseph Fielding Smith said, "The turning of the hearts of the children to the fathers is placing or planting in the hearts of the children that feeling and desire which will inspire them to search out the records of the dead."

This book jumps back and forth between two time periods. In one, it is 1957, and Naoko has fallen in love with an American sailor and finds herself pregnant with his baby. She must navigate the expectations of her family and the traditions of her culture as she tries to maintain her love and keep her baby. In the present day, Tori finds out her father may have had a baby with a woman in Japan. After his death, she sets out to unearth the truth about her father and her possible sister. 

Tori's discoveries in her family history made me think of how many stories are out there still to be found and how easily those stories can become lost. As I read, I couldn't help but think, "This is why family history is so important!" 

I don't want to oversell the book, but this is probably my favorite book I've read so far this year. Partially because it was a pleasant surprise - I went into it with no expectations, it was a random grab off the bookshelf at the library - and partially because I felt that Spirit of Elijah so strongly while simultaneously reading this book and studying D&C 2. 

The next book is What the Wind Knows by Amy Harmon.

This book is a little different in that you need to suspend some reality and be comfortable with time travel. Unfortunately, we don't get to time travel when we explore our family history. At least... not yet... but this book still lends itself well to family history. 

After Anne's grandfather passes away, she somehow finds herself in 1921 Ireland under the care of Dr. Thomas Smith. Lo and behold, Anne's grandfather, Eoin (pronounced “Owen”) is a young child also in the care of the doctor. Eoin’s father has died and his mother has gone missing. The locals believe Anne is his mother, and Anne, not knowing how else to deal with the strange circumstances, takes on that role. Then she finds herself falling in love with Thomas. 

While I was reading this book, I had the following conversation with Scotty:

Scotty: What's that book about?

Me: This lady whose grandpa dies, and then she goes back in time and becomes her grandpa's mom. 

When put that way, the book sounds like a joke. But that's really what it's about! And fortunately, Amy Harmon crafted it far more beautifully than my descriptions allude.

This book was another random pick with no expectations. Sometime last year chose this book as my Amazon first read, and I pulled it up in my Kindle app one night when I didn't have anything in queue to read. I'd never heard of Amy Harmon, and was surprised to learn that she is a Utah author. I've since read a few more of her books. 

In this story, Anne's grandfather knew his history and knew Anne had been a part his childhood, but he had to withhold that information from her while he was alive because she needed to experience it herself. While this story wasn't traditional in the way of family history, it still stirred those feelings of connection with family stories. Learning about our ancestors’ lives fills in many holes and helps us understand some of their choices and experiences. 

The last book is The Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer.

This is another story that jumps back and forth between time lines. The first is in Nazi-occupied Poland in in the 1940's. A young girl, Alina, wishes to marry her childhood love, Tomasz. As contentions of the war escalate, Tomasz and Alina find themselves in trying circumstances, and life unfolds differently than they hoped. 

In modern-day, Alice is facing the end of her grandmother's (or babcia's) life, when her grandmother, with limited language, pleads with Alice to "find Tomasz." The problem is, Tomasz, Alice's grandfather, has passed away, and though Alice tries to explain that, Babcia is relentless in her plea for Alice to find Tomasz. Alice ends up taking a trip to Poland to discover her grandmother's past. 

This story is interesting because it deals with some of the realities of war in which records were destroyed and identities were changed. This is a unique part of family history in that sometimes, history is altered, and research has to sort out the truth. 

Unlike the other two books, this one wasn't a random pick. I actually had expectations for this one, and I ended up really enjoying it. I've read a lot of books that take place in WWII, and in some ways, they are starting to all seem the same. I confess, I glazed over a bit during some of Alina's story, but I thought it was a great book all the same. 

All three of these books involved the discovery of family truths. Even though they are works of fiction, they helped turn my heart toward my own ancestors. I've never been a "family history enthusiast," but I've had a lot of great experiences where I have felt the desire to connect to my ancestors. For me, it comes in little spurts rather than a feeling that's there all the time. These three books definitely sparked those desires in my heart and provided me with some great reading, too!

One of My Kids

One of my kids flips off their siblings all the time.

One of my kids yells "cannibalism" when they jump off things.

One of my kids sings and dances like Rick Astley. All. Day. Long.

One of my kids won't stop saying "ass." 

One of my kids wears the same clothes everyday. 

One of my kids picks their nose so much that they have sores around their nostrils.

One of my kids is constantly badgering us about every COVID precaution we should be taking. 

One of my kids won't flush the toilet when they poop. 

One of my kids won't flush the toilet or wipe when they poop.

One of my kids is obsessed with The Simpsons and is always trying to sneak-watch it. 

One of my kids claws their siblings and leaves scars.

One of my kids currently has a ten-inch scratch on their forearm from the clawing kid. The clawing kid had skin under their fingernails from that one.

One of my kids always farts on their siblings.

One of my kids is going through a High School Musical phase.

One of my kids has horrendous tantrums almost every night at bedtime and keeps breaking the doors in our house.

One of my kids has gross stuff inside their mask everyday (food... boogers... blood...)

One of my kid’s feet stink so bad we make them keep their shoes in the garage.

One of my kids likes to stick a shoelace in their ear. Wait no. That’s Scotty! Now I know where my kids get it all from!

Sick Days and Counterfeit Energy

Yesterday Zoe had some sniffles, so I kept her home from school. 

One crazy thing about this past year of masks and COVID is that we have not been sick. I remember on March 12 of last year, I bought some cold and flu medicine. It's funny how I can remember the dates - it was a Thursday, the day after the WHO declared the pandemic, and our governor was having an afternoon press conference that I feared would cause people to panic shop, so what did I do? Spent the morning panic shopping so I wouldn't get caught in the afternoon panic shopping rush. Anyway, the store was limiting the purchase of cold and flu products, so I bought the maximum four - two for kids and two for adults, and until yesterday, they remained on the shelf of my storage room, coated in dust. In a "healthy" winter, I go through two bottles of cold medicine a month for the kids at minimum. Yet, here we've gone nearly a year without touching any. 

I don't want to jinx anything, but I'm putting it out there... We have not been sick like we have been in any year past. I know many people who say the same, and I've heard a lot of teachers and school staff state that they haven't been sick. It's pretty wild. 

Anyway, having Zoe home from school was quite the experience. By 9:00 a.m. she was bored and trying to convince me to take her to school. Eva has afternoon kindergarten, so she was home with Zoe for the first few hours of the day. Then when Eva left for school, Zoe got even more bored. I let her paint, and I read to her for a while, then I let her play Minecraft. But she was pretty unamused about staying home. 

She followed me around for a lot of the time and talked my ear off. She asked question after question. 

"Mom? Is Snoop Dogg a robot?"

"Wanna see me stand on my head?"

"What time is it?"

"How do artists know how to paint fruit bowls?"

Fruit bowl by Zoe

"Can I teach you how to play Minecraft?"

"Where does blue come from?"

"What about brown?"

"Do we have any finger paint?"

"Is it time for Daisy to come home from school yet?"

"What if a YouTube star moved into Grandma's neighborhood?"

"How much longer til school gets out?"

"Why do fairies have pointy ears?"

Sick days with Zoe

She exhausted me to the point of doing something I've never done before. I drank a 5-hour energy. 

Now, I'm no stranger to caffeine, but I haven't had soda since Labor Day of last year, and I've never really had an energy drink. So I was excited to see how my body would respond to the shock of a 5-hour energy. Scotty and I bought a couple of 5-hour energy drinks to keep us awake for New Year's Eve, but we ended up not using them. So when exhaustion washed over me as I tried to navigate a day alone with Zoe, I remembered that I had a 5-hour energy on top of the fridge, and I went for it. 

That? Was one nasty dose of juice, I'll tell you what. I chugged it down, and then I writhed for ten seconds in disgust. Ho. Ly. Cow. And the noises that came out of me, "Blech. Agh! Oof!" 

Nasty. Nasty. Nasty.

After I drank it, I sat on the couch and waited for the magic to happen. My stomach made some really horrible noises. Was it the 5-hour energy or the awful Panda Express lunch I regretted treating myself to on the way back from the dentist? I'll never know. But thank heavens I wasn't out in public because my gut sounded like a creaky door hinge.

Nothing amazing happened. I stayed tired, but I managed to NOT fall asleep flat on my face. Is that it? Is that all I get after stomaching the most non-strawberry tasting, strawberry flavored liquid known to man?

Or maybe... just maybe... it had a delayed effect. Because I listened to three hours of an audiobook last night while laying in bed. Normally I can listen to fifteen minutes tops before I’m dozing. So perhaps my 1:00 pm dose of 5-hour energy activated around 9:00 last night.

It's Not So Bad

Today so far:

I woke up with a feeling of something in my eye. I can't find anything in my eye, and I'm on hour three of that uncomfortable sensation, so I've probably scratched my eyeball or my eyelid somehow. 

I have a sick kid home from school. 

My hair is caked in a film, making me wonder if I forgot to rinse out the conditioner (something I do more than I care to admit). 

I have a dentist appointment this morning. That will be fun with my sore, watery eyeball.

I also have a mysterious bump that I'm hoping is not a staph infection or cellulitis. I'm a little paranoid of bacterial infections after Scotty had to have a staph infection cut out of his leg in 2012, and Daisy spent four days in the emergency room with cellulitis in 2018. Mysterious bumps are bad news. Avoid them at all costs. 

But all is well. It's just a weird morning so far.

Yesterday for "home primary" I had my kids watch the Friend to Friend broadcast that the church released on Saturday. My kids have never been very agreeable when it comes to church broadcasts, so I anticipated their resistance and a lot of whining. I never thought we'd make it through the entire 45 minutes. To my astonishment, they were totally into it! 

Eva and Zoe love to read the Friend magazine on the toilet. I hung a magazine rack on the wall, and they always pull the laundry hamper up to the toilet like a desk and flip through magazines. 

Part of what held their interest during the Friend to Friend broadcast was that they talked about so many things from the last few issues of the Friend magazine. Zoe repeatedly said, "I saw that in the Friend!" Then she was excited to show me all the things from the broadcast in her magazines. "See, Mom, this is the boy that we saw on TV. Here is the rock art like the lady made on TV." It was fun to see her recognize those things and express enthusiasm over them. 

Part of the Friend to Friend included learning how to draw a picture of a child praying. Again, my kids were totally into it! They drew praying children all day yesterday. 

It was one of those small parenting victories that made me feel like maybe things aren't so bad. We've really had some struggles with Zoe and Eva lately, so I'm so grateful for a small "win."

How I Read

As you know, I like to read. I didn't always enjoy reading, though. There are some books from childhood that I loved and read over and over again, and I did have a fondness for The Babysitters Club at an age when I definitely had to keep it secret from my peers, but for the most part, I really wasn't a reader until I was in my twenties.

For this reason, I have to be patient with my kids for not being readers even though it tears me apart. I always thought that if kids grew up seeing their parent read, they would naturally become readers. It didn't work for us. 

I go through spurts where I don't really feel like reading, I can't focus, or I don't enjoy anything I start reading. I've never been able to read while pregnant, and it takes about nine months post-partum for me to start reading again. When I was in school from 2014-2017, I didn't enjoy reading for leisure because I had to read so much for school. So there are occasionally times when I don't read regularly, but when I'm in my groove, I read 2-3 books a week. 

Confession: I dog-ear books pages. Nicky hates it, so he always makes bookmarks and sneaks them into my books. 

I'm often asked how I'm able to read so many books. It's something I think about a lot. I worry sometimes that I'm not spending my time wisely by reading as much as I do. I've wondered if maybe I should make a "one book per week" rule or something, but there's a part of me that thinks, "No! That's ridiculous! If you want to read, just read." 

I realize that I'm spoiled for having enough time to read, but at the same time, we all have something we naturally make time for, and for me it's reading. So yeah... I read a lot. But some people exercise a lot. Or clean a lot. Or run a lot of errands. Or watch Tik Tok. Or scour the news. We all have things that we squeeze into the cracks of our day, so I can easily look at someone else and wonder how they have time for "such and such." In truth, we usually have time for what we make time for. We just choose differently. Now, granted, right now my life is pretty simple and slow. I don't have a lot going on, so I really do have excess time to read. I'm not volunteering at the school, I'm not taking any classes, my church callings are on hold, and I don't work. So I confess, I have more time than a lot of people do... just don't tell anyone. I'm cherishing this life while it lasts, and I don't need anyone messing with the beautiful boredom that I've been enjoying this past year. 

Secret simple life aside, here are some of the ways I fit reading into my days:

1. Audiobooks

I admit, audiobooks aren't my favorite way to "read." I have a hard time focusing (could it be that I'm a poor listener?), and I struggle a little bit with comprehension because of it. So I have to opt for simpler audiobooks, and they have to really hold my attention. 

But audiobooks are perfect for my current phase of life! This is one way to sneak in some reading without guilt because I can get a lot done during an audiobook. I often listen to books while I'm cleaning, while I'm driving, and while I'm doing mild exercise (like walking or lifting weights). In fact, I'm more productive when I have a good audiobook to listen to.  

I used to think that listening to audiobooks was cheating, but now that I've gotten more accustomed to it, I no longer feel that way. Listening is different from reading, but it requires its own set of skills, and I think it makes you a better reader. It's true for kids. Why wouldn't it be true for adults, too?

I usually have an audiobook in process at all times. I listen to them at increased speed. I generally start out at 1.25x, depending on which app I'm using (my most common audiobook apps are Overdrive, Audible, and Deseret Bookshelp Plus), and up the speed as I get acclimated to listening. The speed really just depends on how well I can focus. 

2. Speed reading

I can read pretty fast, and I've adopted some speed reading techniques over time (hand pacing and slightly decreased subvocalization). I don't use those techniques with everything, though, as I don't want to be completely sloppy. I can't speed read with fantasy, sci-fi, or classic literature because I need to really focus and take it in slowly to understand what's going on (and then I still don't always get it). 

3. Time pockets for reading

I have a lot of 10-15 minute time pockets in my day when I can fit in some reading. I usually wake up a bit earlier than I have to, so I will lay in bed for a few minutes and read. I read in the car while I'm waiting for kids to come out of school. I read in waiting rooms. I read while I'm waiting for water to boil or the Instant Pot to depressurize. I read while Eva is in the bath. I read in between helping my kids with their distance learning - that way I'm at the table with them while they do school. 

(I have a friend who reads while blow drying her hair. I haven't figured out how to do that).

I see reading as something I can start and stop without difficulty, so it's a little easier for me to read a few pages of a book than it is for me to start doing dishes and have to stop after three minutes. 

The bulk of my reading is done at night. Scotty always goes to sleep an hour or more before I do, so I read after he falls asleep until I'm ready to fall asleep myself. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, so I read until I can fall back asleep. Just this morning I read from about 2:00-3:00. I don't feel like it prevents me from falling back asleep. In fact, I think it helps. Reading while laying down makes me sleepy. 

I've yet to drop a book on my face, but it will happen someday. 

4. Making it a reward

Sometimes I play a little game where I alternate between 30 minutes of cleaning (or any other kind of productivity) and 30 minutes of reading (or the like). I use reading as my reward. "If you load the dishwasher, you can read for 20 minutes!" (and let's be honest, I'll probably listen to an audiobook while I'm doing the dishes, too!)

Another custom bookmark from Nicky.

So that's how I make reading work for me. When asked how I'm able to read so much, the shortest and truest answer is... I choose to. And no one should feel like they need to do the same. I enjoy reading, so it's easy for me to sneak it in. Hopefully you find little pockets of time to do what you love, too!

Lest You Think I Play the Piano

One of my life's biggest regrets is not learning how to properly play the piano. 

I tried. I took lessons for a minute when I was five. Then when I was 21, I started taking lessons again. I ended up having to quit after about a year to accommodate my job. 

When I was growing up, the organist at our church told me that she learned how to play the piano when she was 27. I always thought that was really cool because it showed that you can learn new things at any phase of life. I kept brushing aside my lack of piano skills, saying I would wait til 27 like Sister Madsen. Then 27 came and went, and I never learned how to really play the piano. 

Despite my lack of piano lessons, in the years between 5 and 21, I still played the piano a lot. Without formal training, I came up with my own methods and developed a lot of bad habits that I couldn't unlearn when I started taking lessons at 21. As a teenager I learned a lot of the easier hymns by playing them the way I heard them. I relied on the written music to help me memorize them, but I couldn't actually read music. I would have to count the lines to figure out which notes I was supposed to play, and then I would practice them over and over until muscle memory allowed me to get through the song. I didn't know proper fingering or timing, and if I messed up, I could never get back on track without starting over. I was able to hack my way through prelude a couple of times for Young Women and seminary, and I tried to accompany from time to time, but I never got to the point where I could play well with people singing other than a couple instances of "Choose the Right." 

Since I regret not learning to play the piano, I'm forcing my kids to take piano lessons. I told them they can quit when I can open the hymn book to a random song, and they can play it. Unfortunately, none of them are very good at piano, so after years of lessons, no one is close to being set free.

At this point in life, I don't know that I want to try and learn to play the piano again, but I'll never say never! I know a woman in her 50's who just started taking lessons a couple of years ago. Perhaps she'll be my new motivator. At least that way I can keep procrastinating for another 13 years. 

Me when I finally learn to play the piano

Hey, Butter Butter!

Throughout the pandemic, we've been given quite a bit of food. There are a lot of places around here that give out free food to help ease the burden the pandemic has taken on families. My family has been fortunate to not experience that need, however, we still frequently become beneficiaries of the food. I feel guilty, so I try to utilize the food well and do my part to give back to the organizations that are helping out in the community. 

Our neighbor volunteers at a food pantry in a different county sometimes, and at the end of the day, he gets sent home with a lot of leftover food. Several times in the past year, he has shown up at our house with a cooler full of stuff. It's been such a wonderful blessing, but it's also been pretty funny because we've been given some very unusual items - like 24 boxes of Triscuits and 10 lbs of dried cherries. It definitely gives me the opportunity to be creative. 

Last week our neighbor brought us a gallon of heavy cream. We put it in the fridge, and I planned a few menu items for the coming week that call for a half cup here or there, but I worried we’d have to throw the rest out (it was two days from the recommended “use by” date).

In the middle of the night on Friday, I suddenly remembered that I know how to make butter. Several years ago, the cost of butter was really high (as a former dairy employee, I have a habit of watching the fluctuating prices of dairy products and eggs), so I bought a bunch of heavy cream on closeout for 20¢ a pint after Thanksgiving, and I made my own butter and froze it. We used homemade butter for nearly a year. 

The other night I got really excited when I realized I could make butter. I could use the whole gallon of cream! How resourceful! How domestic! Plus, I recently bought a Blendtec which would be superior to the Ninja I formerly made butter in. 

Since I couldn't run the blender in the middle of the night, I got straight to work early Saturday morning (right after eating a fabulous breakfast sandwich that utilized some of the ten pounds of American cheese a different neighbor brought us) (seriously with the food! Remember the bananas of five weeks ago?) (no complaints here... just awe at the food that comes our way). 

I made the butter in the Blendtec. It didn't do as well as I thought it would - in fact, it was quite touchy with the cream, and I had to pulse and stir a lot more than I ever did in my Ninja. 

"Churning"

And then there was butter

It got the job done, though. Nicky was intrigued and wanted to try making some of his own butter in a shaker bottle. 

Only took him 4x longer than the Blendtec

I ended up with three pounds of butter, and I also made a batch of honey cinnamon butter. 

A big bowl o' butter!

1/2 cup portions to freeze

(I wrapped them all in plastic wrap and then put them in a freezer bag)

Honey cinnamon butter

(scones are calling!)

I separated the buttermilk and froze it in 1/2 cups portions. I saved some cream to set aside for banana pudding. 

Pouring off the buttermilk

First time I've tried this - freezing buttermilk in muffin tins and then putting the chunks in a freezer bag

Banana pudding for good measure

It's actually pretty fun to make butter, so I'm glad I thought to do it. It's thrilling when it finally becomes "butter." It happens so quickly! One second it's cream, and then BAM! It separates into butter and buttermilk, and it makes me feel powerful. "I told this cream to be butter, and it obeyed."

Nicky was pretty proud of his butter, too. We used his to make grilled cheese sandwiches... with the aforementioned cheese. 

The whole process, with everything I made, took about an hour and a half from start to finish. I thought, "Hey, that's not too bad!" until I remembered that I bought four pounds of butter from Sam's Club last week for $6.98. Making homemade butter isn't such a money saver when butter is that cheap. So basically, I worked at the rate of $5 per hour, and then my dear hubs spent a half an hour cleaning up after me. 

I'll just keep telling myself that is was so much fun because you can't put a price on fun! 

Five Things I Learned in Young Women

Since Daisy turns 12 this year, she's now in Young Women - the program for teenage girls in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

When I was growing up, we started participating in Young Women when we turned 12. Now, youth join the program in January of the year they turn 12 (as opposed to on their 12th birthday - which for me, wouldn't have mattered since my birthday is January 1st). This change, implemented two years ago, put Daisy in YW nine months sooner than she would have been otherwise. I'm a little shocked that I have a Young Woman already. For the most part, Daisy's outgrown primary, and she's ready to be in YW, but there's a lot she needs to learn. I guess that's the point of the program, though. 

When I was a teenager, I really loved the Young Women program, and I thrived in it. I hope the same for my daughters, but all of our journeys will be different. I was blessed to have wonderful leaders, though I didn't know how wonderful they were until I grew up. Now I look back and realize just how amazing they were and how much I learned from them. As Daisy has started participating in Young Women, I've reflected back on my own experience and thought about some of the things I learned in Young Women that have stayed with me for life. Here are five of those things:

1. I learned how to cook

The YW program, especially in the past, has gotten a lot of flack for focusing too heavily on teaching homemaking skills. I feel like I had a good balance in my experience. We did some crafts and learned some domestic things, but we also learned other life skills like how to change a tire.

There was a woman in our ward who was known as a really good cook, and she taught us how to make crepes and cinnamon rolls. One of our leaders also put together a recipe book for us, and I used that recipe book all the time at home. At camp every year, we did all the cooking, and I learned a lot of valuable skills there, too. 

Those lessons were the foundation of my learning how to cook when I grew up. I still had a lot to learn when I got married at 19, but I had a few mediocre skills to get me started thanks to Young Women. 

Actual footage of me cooking

2. I learned how to play sports

I never participated any organized sports, but I always loved playing sports regardless - my favorites being volleyball and basketball. Church sports gave me the opportunity to learn to play those games. I lived for our weekdays practices and loved participating in games on Saturdays. 

When I was in my twenties, I was called to be an assistant sports director in our stake. I've always thought it was hilarious... ME! Called to be an athlete! I had a lot of fun doing it, and I worked with women who knew what they were doing, and they got me through. 

(If ever we need a stake mascot, PICK ME!)

3. I learned how to sing and lead music

I had very musical leaders, so my Young Women group did musical numbers all the time. I remember wanting to sing alto, but I didn't realize what alto was. I just knew altos sang different notes, so I would sing "alto" by singing whatever notes I wanted, so long as they were different from the melody. Then a kind leader pulled me aside and explained to me what altos were really supposed to sing. Mind blown! From then on, I tried to sing alto "the real way." 

I also learned how to lead music. When I was 15, I was given the calling of Young Women chorister. I led the music every Sunday and at every activity. 

Actual footage of me leading music

4. I learned how to lead and teach

Like I said, I had great leaders who modeled wonderful leadership skills to me. I served in various class presidencies and had the chance to attend planning meetings. I was given assignments and my leaders would help me fulfill them with success. I am not, and will never be, a perfect leader, but I know that anything I've ever done well can probably be traced back to things I learned in Young Women.

When I was in my final months of  Young Women, my leaders could see that I was getting a little bored, so they arranged for me to participate in a teacher improvement course during Sunday school. The class happened to be taught by the same sister who taught us how to cook and was held in the high council room in the comfy chairs. That class helped me start learning the basic principles of teaching the gospel, and as soon as the class finished, I was called to teach youth Sunday school. 

5. I learned how to pray

I remember experiencing a transition in my prayers sometimes between ages 15-16. I heard a prayer in YW (I don't remember who said it) that really touched my heart. The prayer was thoughtful - not full of repetition or prayer cliches. Until then, most of my prayers had sounded the same. It got me thinking about how my prayers could become more meaningful. I decided the best way to change my prayers was through practicing, so I started stepping up to offer the prayer whenever a volunteer was asked for. I also started changing my personal prayers. 

One year at camp, we had a guest speaker come and talk about prayer. I remember her asking us if we ever took time before our prayers to think about what we were going to say. I'd never even thought to do that! But it made sense, so I started doing it, and I noticed my prayers were much more honest and thorough when I wasn't saying them on a whim. 

As time has passed, my prayers have continued to grow and change as I have learned more about my relationship with Heavenly Father and the way he communicates with me.

-----

I hope someday my daughters will look back fondly on their own experiences in the Young Women program. I try to meet their spiritual and temporal needs as best I can at home, but I know that I can't do it alone. I'm glad they will have the chance to have teachers and role models to help them learn and grow. So even though I'm still shocked that I have a daughter old enough to be in Young Women, I'm really excited for her!

Valentine's Day Countdown

Valentine's Day marks the anniversary of when Scotty's and my super duper romantic relationship began... way back in the olden days of 1999 (read more about that here). We've now been a "thing" for 22 years. 

Obligatory photo of us being in love circa 2019. Do we even have any current photos of us? Not really. Is my hair even that color anymore? No.

How are we celebrating? By hanging out at his mom's house. 

But leading up to this day of love, we wooed one another by going out to eat a couple of times without kids (Thai food on Thursday and Philly cheese steak sandwiches, fries, and chicken wings on Saturday - yes, I eat like a dude) and playing four very competitive games of Wingspan (three of which I won) and two rounds of Ticket to Ride: Europe (both of which I won). Scotty claims he let me win for Valentine's Day. That is not romance! That is a cop out! Winning fair and square - that is true love.

Love it or hate it - this holiday is significant in the Brittish household. Maybe not in the flowers and chocolates sort of way, but in the "Hey look! We're still together after all these years, so let's celebrate by ordering an immersion blender on Amazon so you can make milk shakes, and I can puree canned tomatoes to hide from the kids in soups" sort of way. 

(The blender arrived yesterday morning). 

In honor of Valentine's Day, here's a countdown from 14 (let's pretend that I didn't just use this format the other day).

14 Things we love to do together:

14. Play board games

13. Go to movies

12. Surprise our kids

11. Go out to eat

10. Prepare awesome food

9. Plan vacations

8. Splurge at Sam's Club or Costco

7. Do puzzles

6. Go on road trips

5. Lay on the couch (but we fight over the good spot)

4. Google actors we recognize and try to figure out what other show we know them from

3. Complain about stuff

2. Go camping

1. Watch movies with the sound bar turned up really loud

13 Big purchases we've made:

13. Two vans

12. Three cars

11. One truck

10. The play set in the backyard

11. A couch

10. A digital piano

9. The laptop I'm currently typing on that's on its last leg

8. Sod

7. A bulky, old school, big screen TV that a neighbor kid hit with a bat and cracked

6. Two dishwashers

5. Two dryers

4. A fridge

3. Annual passes to Disneyland for 2020 (that we just got prorated refunds for)

2. Carpet

1. A wedding ring that I haven't worn for 12 years

12 Traditions we have:

12. Familyversary dinner for our wedding anniversary (the anniversary of when we became a family)

11. April Fools Cafe

10. Buying postcards for kids when we travel and writing memories from the vacations on the back

9. Having German pancakes for breakfast on (most) Sundays (funny that I should write this today when we didn't have enough eggs)

8. Eating at Jack in the Box on vacation

7. Birthday dinners

6. Going camping for Father's Day

5. Everyone picking out a Christmas ornament

4. Going to Grandma's on (most) Sundays

3. Celebrating summer with BLTS and corn on the cob

2. Playing Clue for Scotty's birthday

1. Getting stamps and cancelations in the National Parks Passports

11 Places we've traveled together:

11. South Carolina

10. Disneyland

9. San Francisco

8. Lake Tahoe

7. East Carribbean

6. West Carribbean

5. Mexican Riviera

4. Colorado

3. Yellowstone

2. Saint George

1. Las Vegas

10 Facts about our dating life:

10. We were "together" for nine months before we kissed

9. Scotty had braces when we started kissing

8. Scotty was in 12th grade, and I was in 9th when our relationship began

7. We went to the same high school, but not at the same time

6. Scotty left on his two-year mission for the Church two days before I started my junior year of high school

5. He came back two days after I started college

4. I "waited but dated"

3. We used to hang out on the side of my house after our church youth activities and hug. Yep. Hug. Scandalous, right?

2. Our church leaders started escorting me home, and I was furious

1. Scotty used to drive past my house every night on his way home from work, and I would wait in the window to wave. My house wasn't on his way home.

9 Things I love about Scotty:

9. He's really funny

8. He's a hard worker

7. He is pretty even-tempered

6. He respects his parents

5. He's fun to be around

4. He puts up with my big ideas

3. He doesn't have expectations for me to fulfill "women's" roles

2. He's a wonderful dad

1. He treats me so darn well

8 Concerts we've been to together:

8. NSync

7. Carrie Underwood

6. Brad Paisley

5. Rascal Flatts

4. Maroon 5

3. Toby Keith

2. Jon Schmidt

1. Beach Boys

7 Things we've accomplished together:

10. Survived two years of separation while Scotty served a mission

9. Played Ma & Pa on a stake trek

8. Had four kids

7. Earned our degrees

6. Bought a home

5. Served as Cub Masters

4. Finished a basement

3. Completed a lot of building projects and renovations

2. Ran a Spartan Beast (hard to believe)

1. Came in as "Second Place Couple" in the West Fest 10k

6 Things we love to eat together:

6. Thai food (especially fresh spring rolls & peanut sauce, Massaman curry, and mangoes and sticky rice)

5. Sushi

4. Burgers

3. Breakfast sandwiches made at home with slightly runny eggs

2. Sandwiches from Jimmy Johns with seasoned fries from Wingstop dipped in ranch

1. Sundaes and cheese fries from Leatherby's

5 Things he does in the relationship:

5. Makes German pancakes

4. Changes lightbulbs

3. Files the taxes

2. Flies kites with the kids

1. Takes care of the vehicle stuff (unless he's in another country and the battery in the van dies, and I have to have my neighbor give me a jump so I can drive to Auto Zone to get a new one)

4 Things I do in the relationship:

4. Pay the bills

3. Manage the family calendar

2. Most of the laundry

1. Paint things

3 Things we disagree on:

3. Whether hash browns should be eaten with ketchup

2. Having the window rolled down

1. Gyros being delicious

2 Goals we have:

2. Pay off our house

1. Have a Lego room when our kids move out

1 Thing about us I would change if I could:

1. I'd give us names that could combine to make an awesome couple name. Cuz Brotty and Scritt aren't great options. 

Back to School Book 2: The Outsiders

After reading The Scarlet Letter, I wanted to choose something a little easier for my next book. I decided to go with The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton.

First edition cover from 1967

(I've never actually seen this one)

My first encounter with anything "Outsiders" was in 7th grade. The girl I sat in front of in math class kept a copy of The Outsiders on her desk, and as we started talking and getting to know each other, she told me she liked to carry the book around with her because the boys on the cover were hot. Lynsie remains one of my best friends to this day (though she no longer carries a copy of The Outsiders around with her... that I know of...)

I don't remember which edition Lynsie had (I'll have to ask her), but this one looks the most like something a 12-year-old girl in 1996 would carry around

That same school year, we ended up reading The Outsiders for English class. 

Plot-wise, if you were to ask me a month ago what The Outsiders is about, I would have said, "There are some kids with weird names, and they get in fights." I didn't remember the nature of the fights or anything else about the story, so reading it again was like reading it for the first time. 

First off, I have to say that there's no question as to why this book is so well-loved and iconic. I definitely didn't appreciate it as a teen, but as an adult, I can better pick up on the depth of the characters and the themes in the writing. 

Secondly, I'm in awe at the fact that S.E. Hinton started writing The Outsiders when she was fifteen years old.

FIFTEEN.

I mean... c'mon! I'm double her age +7, and I can hardly craft a photo caption that's worthy of note. The girl had a gift! (Her name is Susan, if you're wondering). 

Anyway, what is there to say about The Outsiders? To put it simply, I really liked it. I found Ponyboy to be quite endearing. His relationship with both Sodapop (his brother) and Johnny (his friend) is very sweet, though I think he'd prefer me to say "tuff." He radiates goodness without perfection, and I always appreciate that in a character. There is still complexity in him, as there is with all of the characters in The Outsiders. 

After finishing the book, I had to also watch the movie! We watched the movie after reading the book in English class, and clearly it didn't help solidify the story in my memory. The only thing I remembered about the movie was Emilio Estevez in a Mickey Mouse shirt. 

It was fun to watch the movie and see all of the young actors - Patrick Swayze as Ponyboy's older brother, Darry. Rob Lowe as the notably good looking Sodapop. Ralph Macchio as Johnny (pre-Karate Kid). And even Tom Cruise as the incredibly annoying, insignificant character, Steve.

(Side fact: Ralph Macchio was 22 when he filmed The Outsiders and The Karate Kid. He plays a 16-year-old in The Outsiders, but he doesn't look a day older than 12!)

Now that I've read the book and watched the movie, I have to say, The Outsiders is probably the truest movie based on a book that I've ever seen. S.E. Hinton owns the rights to the movie and says there will never be a remake, and I'm glad for that!

Now that I'm two books into this goal of reading 10 books from my school days, I'm feeling pretty pumped and excited about what I'm going to read next (I haven't picked yet). I have a list of possibilities on my phone that just keeps getting longer. There is much reading to do!

A Tale of Two Bathrooms

One challenging thing about having Scotty work from home for the last year is that he works in our bedroom, so I'm always sneaking around in the background of his virtual meetings trying to retrieve clothes and shoes or put away laundry. Scotty also works in very close proximity to the bathroom, so anytime I take a shower or flush the toilet, I have to be mindful of the presence of his co-workers, lest some Church employee in Brazil hear my restroom sounds. 

Blow drying my hair needs to be planned around Scotty's conference calls... which he has ALL DAY LONG. Today I took my blow dryer to the downstairs bathroom so I wouldn't disturb Scotty. I don't like going to the downstairs bathroom because A) my supplies aren’t down there, and B) that bathroom stinks and always has (I think it's in the floor under the toilet, and someday we need to rip everything out and renovate. Until then... pew). 

Even though I don't like using the downstairs bathroom, I’m grateful we have it. 

When I was growing up and dividing time between my mom's house and my dad's house, each of them only had one bathroom. My mom lived in a really small house - small enough that our fridge blocked some of the cupboards, and we had to turn sideways to squeeze between the fridge and the oven to get to the hallway. The single bathroom had to accommodate five people. 

At my dad's house, we had anywhere between 8-11 people living at a time and sharing one bathroom. Whenever we took road trips, we would spend the last half hour of the trip negotiating who got to use the bathroom in which order when we got home. I developed a habit of going outside to pee behind the garage when I was little, and one time, my step-sister and I thought it would be a genius idea to start using the toilet in the camping trailer. Our parents weren't very happy when they unexpectedly found the septic tank hosting our weeks' worth of urine. We had other non-conventional ways of relieving ourselves that I can't exactly write about on the internet. Suffice it to say, in a house of seven kids with one bathroom, desperation results in creativity. 

Eventually my dad installed an extra toilet in the laundry room. It wasn't ever a "bathroom," though. It was just an unfinished basement (used as a bedroom) with a toilet, washer, and dryer in it. No sink. No bathtub. No walls. No door. Eventually my dad built a wall on one side, and I think we might have hung a sheet on the other, but pretty much anytime you used the downstairs toilet, you ran the risk of anyone in the family walking in on you. And heaven help you if you ever had to do a number two. My dad was always lecturing us about the size of poops that the basement toilet could handle. It was never worth the risk. 

When I was 12, my dad moved to a house with three bathrooms... just in time for everyone to start moving out. My mom moved to a house with two bathrooms when I was 15. A few years later, Scotty and I got married and moved into a one-bathroom house for a while. Then we lived with his mom for three months, who also had one bathroom.

Now we've lived happily for 17 years (our house-iversary was February 1st) in our humble, two-bathroom home, and even though one of those bathrooms smells like an outhouse, we know we are experiencing the greatest of luxuries... multiple restrooms! With walls! And doors!

My Little Groundhog

We've been having a heck of a time with Zoe lately. This girl... she is such a joy, but off and on, we have some real struggles. This past weekend was a rough one for ZoZo. 

Luckily, she brings us as much delight as she does drama. 

Lately Zoe has been obsessed with her calendar. She won it at BINGO during General Conference, and she waited so patiently for 2021 so she could start using it. I hung it on her wall (with a straight pin) and she has been marking off the days since the new year. 

Zoe wants to know about every holiday ("Mom! What's Ash Wednesday?") so when she saw Groundhog Day on the calendar, she started asking a lot of questions. I was surprised she didn't know what it was already, as I'm sure they've talked about it at school, but maybe she'd forgotten. COVID brain and whatnot.

Scotty told her about Punxsutawney Phil the night before Groundhog Day, and Zoe was so excited she could hardly sleep. On Groundhog Day, she woke up early with the brilliant idea that she needed to dress up like a groundhog for school (back in December, she did the same thing when she wanted to be a Christmas tree). I tried to explain to her that Groundhog Day isn't a "dress-up" holiday, but she was so full of big ideas, there was no talking her out of it. 

I ended up printing her a Groundhog Day hat to color, and then I hot glued a nose and some teeth onto a disposable mask (what every mom wants to do at 7:30 in the morning).

Thank heaven it was to her satisfaction, because she never would have relented if I hadn't made her dream come true. She insisted that I make her an extra mask in case the first one broke, so I obliged and sent her off to school with buck teeth and a spare. 

This is one case where masks came in very handy... they allowed an easy solution to my daughter's need to be a groundhog for a day. And that is a small glimpse of life with Zoe.

And Then it Snowed Dirt

Last week we had a filthy snowstorm. Yep. Filthy. It left a really yucky layer of gunk on everyone's vehicles, and since I was grocery shopping when the snow fell, my van looks like I took a joy ride on a dirt road Brad Paisley style. 

On Saturday, Scotty and I drove past the car wash where I have a monthly pass, and the line was insane. I've never seen anything like it. It was actually three lines because there are three kiosks. I couldn't even see the end of the lines because they wrapped clear around the gas station. The lines were also crazy on Sunday when we drove by. 

We left for school early this morning (Monday) and tried to go to the car wash. The lines were already long at 8:10 a.m. so we didn't stay. We counted 26 cars in line, but that was only a fraction of what was there on Saturday. Saturday had to have been well over 100 cars. Out of curiosity, I drove by again after I dropped the girls off.  The line had doubled!

I find the whole thing to be very funny. With all the weird crowd behaviors over the past year, and variety of things we've had to wait in lines for, I can't really be surprised that this week we're fighting for car washes. 

Currently {February 2021 Edition}

Reading: The Law of Moses by Amy Harmon (which is a novel, not a book about the Old Testament - lest you be confused).

Buying: Only what we need. I've been keeping the budget pretty tight lately in an effort to get some money saved up. I feel like I've been living this restricted lifestyle for so long, and yet, it's just been a month. Any day now, I'm going to climb out a bedroom window and take the bus to Costco to spend $1,000. I could use the door and drive myself, but there's something about a window and a bus that satisfies my internal need for rebellion. 

Things I'm not buying but find tempting:

This awesome Valentine's Day shirt for Nicky to wear to his aunt's Valentine's Day party next weekend

This truth speaking shirt

Craving: egg rolls. I've been on a Chinese food kick lately. Can't stop. Won't stop.

Listening to: a few Y Religion podcasts.  They're a little bit boring, to be honest, and I rarely get through the whole thing (I usually skip segment 3), but I listen to them sometimes because I like the research. 

Trying: to stay caught up on the reading for Come Follow Me. It's been really nice studying the Doctrine and Covenants because I don't get overwhelmed by the amount of reading each week. Sometimes I even read through it two or three times! 

Wanting: a new wreath for my living room because this ol' thing stabs people in the head when they sit under it. 

Annoyed by: people who park on the street to pick their kids up from school and leave a big gap between their car and the car behind them, but not a big enough gap for someone to park there. 

Playing: Lots and lots of Wingspan. Between the board game and the Nintendo Switch, I probably played thirty times while we were quarantined. I won't tell you how many times I lost. 

Feeling: weird. I'm trying to figure out how to get back to "normal" after having my kids home for so long. They had 17 days of winter break, then went to school for five days, then had another week off school, then two weeks of quarantine. Now that they're finally back at school, I'm trying to figure out what my life is supposed to be like. 

Struggling with: relationships. I have joked that 2021 is a year for damaged relationships because I've had some really awkward and/or weird things happen with other people thus far.

Procrastinating: changing my blog banner from Christmas. 

It works through winter, right?

Wearing: My favorite pants and a black hoodie. 

Eating: honey sesame chicken from Citrus Pear. I tried a new thing and signed up for a freezer meal prep class, and then I wasn't able to go because we were quarantined. But luckily, my friend was able to bring all of the stuff to me so I could assemble my meals at home. Filling my freezer with food was the only thing I did during quarantine that made me feel productive and somewhat normal. 

Looking forward to: getting my hair cut tomorrow. I need a cut so bad! I had to cancel my prior appointment for quarantine.

Worried about: Daisy going to junior high. This week we had to decide whether to send her to junior high for 6th grade or keep her in elementary school (it's complicated), and any thought of sending her to junior high makes me physically ill. She wants to stay in elementary, so phew! I can put off that nightmare for another year. 

Nicky will be going to high school next year, which is absolutely crazy to me! But I'm not nearly as worried about him as I am about Daisy. 

We were thrown for a loop during our quarantine because we had to sign our kids up for next year's classes, and we weren't ready! Our kids weren't at school when they handed out the paperwork, so all of a sudden it was like, "Oh! And by the way, you were supposed to sign your kids up for school, like, yesterday."

The good news is, we were able to get Nicky registered to take his PE class right now so he will have more room in his schedule next year. 

Grateful for: the tiny screwdrivers Cousin Cyndi gave me. I had to fix my laptop again this week, and they came in handy!

Back to School Book 1: The Scarlet Letter

I didn't make any New Year's resolutions for 2021 since COVID has made me really weird about planning for the future, but I did spend some time thinking about what goals I could set... if I were to set any goals. Now that it's February, I'm ready to commit to a few goals for 2021 (Chinese New Year works better for me anyway, since January 1st is my birthday, and who wants to start resolutions on their birthday?) 

For a while I've wanted to re-read (or read for the first time) some of the books from my school days. This includes books that were required as well as books that were optional (such as those that were on a list of approved reading for certain assignments). I thought about setting a goal to read one school book per month, but then I decided I might need a little leeway, so here is my first goal for 2021: 

Read ten "school" books. 

Before I could commit to this goal, I needed to dabble in it a bit to see if I was really up for it. I made a list of books and chose my first one: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 

The Scarlet Letter was required reading in my 11th grade honors English class. I don't remember the curriculum very well for that year, but I think we also read The Crucible, so it must've been very "colonial America heavy."

I recall that I struggled to understand the writing in The Scarlet Letter. I fell behind in the reading and didn't really finish the book. I remember feeling interested in the story (or at least what I gleaned from it via class discussions) and thinking, "I should read this when I'm a grown-up." Since I'm a grown-up, my time has come. 

I remembered the premise - Hester Prynne is sentenced to wear a red 'A' on her chest for the rest of her life because she has committed adultery. I also remembered who her lover is, but that's about it. 

I started reading the book last week and was disappointed to find that I can't comprehend the writing any better now than I could when I was 16. All I really got out of it was that it took 30 sentences to explain "Hester stood on a scaffold for three hours," and it repeatedly used the words "ponderous" and "perchance." I was half-way through the book and frankly, had no clue what was going on. I gave up for a few days and figured it was okay to not pursue this reading goal after all, but then it kept eating away at me that I hadn't finished it. I came back to it decided to start reading the spark notes alongside the book (so ya know... double the reading...) and I was shocked to discover all the great plot points that had gone right over my head (and here come the **spoilers**). For example, I completely missed the fact that Chillingworth was Hester's husband, and I kept wondering when it would reveal that Dimmesdale was the father of Hester's baby, when it already had.

I proceeded with the book by reading the spark notes for each chapter before reading the chapter so I could figure out what was going on. I'm embarrassed that I had to do it that way, but it is what it is. At least I was able to really delve into the story, and the spark notes included a lot of details about the themes and symbolism of the book that I wouldn't have concluded on my own. It made the experience better. I love me some good symbolism, but I kind of have to have it spelled out for me (for this reason, I really struggle with poetry - someone has to explain it all to me, and it makes me feel so dumb). 

In the end, I'm glad I stuck it out! What a tale! WHAT! A! TALE! I loved the exploration of how society views sin and the dichotomy between science and faith as portrayed through Chillingworth (a doctor) and Dimmesdale (a priest). I gained a much better understanding of the character of Dimmesdale. In high school, I thought of him as an antagonist since he refused to reveal his part in Hester's "crime." As a teenager, I couldn't comprehend his turmoil and suffering as he tried to reconcile his position in the community with his actions and how he "lacked energy to grasp the better fortune that seemed within his reach" (page 122).

And Hester? I can't really figure her out. She was somewhat set apart from the society, but at the same time, she was an integral part of it. She wore the 'A' boldly, and yet, still instinctively covered it with her hand. 

"She felt or fancied, then, that the scarlet letter had endowed her with a new sense. She shuddered to believe, yet could not help believing, that it gave her a sympathetic knowledge of the hidden sin in other hearts" (page 52).

------------

While I'm on the topic of reading, I read the eBook of The Scarlet Letter on the Kindle app for iOS. Our county library lends eBooks through Kindle, and you don’t have to have an actual Kindle (not everyone knows this, so I’m just putting it out there). Let me show you a feature of the Kindle app that I love (in case you're not aware). 

You may recall that I have a fondness for looking up word definitions. The Kindle app makes it so easy to look up words while you read (which I did a lot in The Scarlet Letter because classic literature is full of words that make me go "Huh??)

While reading in the Kindle app, you can hold your finger on a word (the same way you would if you were going to start highlighting a passage), and a little dictionary box will come up like so:

You can touch "Google search" and it will search the word, but an even better option is to download the free dictionary (as prompted in the box), and then, any time you want to know the definition of the word, you just touch the word and BAM!

DEFINITIONS!

Now I'm going to go around saying my hair is getting hoary! Thank you for that, Nathaniel Hawthorne.