Lately

The other day I realized that it’s been an abnormal amount of time (for me) since my last blog post. Things have been a bit busy lately. Busy but good. And truth be told, blogging hasn’t crossed my mind! Which is unusual. Even when I’m busy, I still think about blogging, but for the past ten(ish) days, I kind of forgot I have a blog! Not really… but kind of…

Anyway, on the day I remembered I have a blog, I thought, “Cousin Cyndi will let me know when it’s been too long between blog posts” (she keeps me on track), and sure enough, the next day I got this text: 

So that’s my cue to check in!

I don’t have anything amazing to write, but here are a few things we’ve been up to while I haven’t been blogging:

We did our final harvests from the garden and got most of the garden cleaned up for the winter. I still need to pull out the watering hoses. 

We celebrated Zoe’s birthday. Her actual birthday is November 2, but we did it early this year. She wanted a Halloween themed party. 

We got in our last visits to Lagoon. I went to Lagoon three days in a row last week. I didn’t know I was a Lagoon junkie, but apparently I am! I just have a few stipulations: I only go in the mornings when it’s not crowded, and I don’t go in the middle of summer when it’s hot.

We carved pumpkins. Not my favorite activity due to needy kids and the mess, but this year went surprisingly well, and I had an extra boost of pride since we grew all our pumpkins. We plant pumpkins every year, but we’ve never yielded enough to provide for our whole family plus extra. This year we had 13 pumpkins, which means we had enough for everyone to carve and still have porch decor for Thanksgiving (or until they all rot).

I’ve been helping a lot with the high school’s production of The Little Mermaid. I’ve glued sequins to costumes, moved large set pieces across town, and spray painted this and that (I’m currently stained with purple spots due to an exploding can). I’ve been making a lot of coral reef elements for the set, and I’m learning all sorts of new skills! My latest stress relief activity is cutting styrofoam with a hot knife. It is so fun and relaxing. Who knew? 

Here are a few of the things I’ve cut from styrofoam. I had lots of purple paint drama, including running out of paint before I finished (most of the paint was on me) but that will all be resolved in a few days.

My house and garage are currently overtaken with stuff for the set. Here’s my kitchen table:

Working with spray foam is a new skill I’m learning. It’s a creature with a mind of its own! I’m so excited to paint these! And I have a huge stack of styrofoam pieces that I cut out last night that also need painting. I have a stash of donated spray paint in a slew of colors that I’m in love with.

I’ve also been helping with makeup. We did a makeup run through early this week, and yesterday we did makeup for the leads for their publicity photos. The kids looked amazing! So many people have helped to get this thing running, and I love seeing everyone’s hard work coming together.

In addition to all of this, we’ve had Halloween events galore with many more to come (I shouldn’t have decorated for Halloween so early. I feel like it’s been years and years).

For the last three years, November has unexpectedly been one of my busiest months. For the last two years I’ve made and sold pumpkin rolls for Thanksgiving, but this year I decided I better not. It’s not even November yet, and things are already crazy. So giddy up! It’s gonna be wild!

Last days of beautiful fall weather

Living the Dream

I save a lot of writing prompts on Pinterest. They're more of the "questionnaire" variety (as opposed to creative writing). Really, they just give me an excuse to talk about myself. 

I'm kidding. But not entirely. Someone once told me that I write about myself too much on my blog. I wasn't really sure what to do with that info. 

Anyway, the other day I came across a writing prompt called "Dream Life Prompts." I had two conflicting opinions about it - one being that it was stupid because it encourages a person to not be happy with their life as it is, and the other being that it might be good to answer some of those questions because maybe there are dreams I should be aiming for.

I saved the prompt on my Pinterest board and went about my merry way.

Then today for dinner, I made some rolls, and as I was forming balls of dough, and lining them up on the sheet pan to bake, I started daydreaming about a life where I make some kind of baked good each week - doubling the recipe and keeping half for my family and giving half to another family. This is something I've always wanted to do as a regular practice. I read the book The Actor and the Housewife by Shannon Hale in 2009 (3.15 stars on Goodreads - you can skip it), and the main character, Becky, would bake two pies each week - one for her family and one to give away - and I was like, "Yessss, Fictional Becky! This is what I want in life!" Except maybe not pies... once in a while, pies. Just not always pies. Baking and giving are part of my dream life. 

My dream life also includes growing and preserving food - having a garden, passing out zucchini and tomatoes to neighbors, and making lots and lots of jam. 

In my dream life, I would enjoy other people on a deeper level. I’d love to overcome some of my shortcomings with communication and social environments and just… enjoy. I would love to feel more comfortable at gatherings and be better at bringing people together and putting everyone at ease. 

I’d like a better degree of family harmony in all of my families - step, in-law, origin, and creation. I’d like to feel like I have value and a place. I’d like to get together and feel good about who I am and who they are. No drama. No manipulation. No jealousy. No rivalry. No pride. Just genuine love for one another and a desire to spend time together. I’d love for neighbors, family, and friends to come and go from one another’s houses and lovingly take care of each other with reciprocity. No one would feel taken advantage of.

My dream life includes a bit of travel and a lot of reading and writing. I’d like to make meaningful contributions to my family, my Church, and my community. I’d like to develop and use my talents while finding balance between what I can give and what others can give without feeling any need to compare. 

And while this description of my dream life is incomplete, my last request for this post would be to be debt free. In my dream life, I don’t need a big house or fancy things. I just want to live within my means - comfortably - without owing anyone anything. 

Some of these things are within my control, and some of them are not. Some of these things I already have - so in many ways, I’m already living my dream life. Mostly I just want a simple life rich with quality relationships, creativity, and good stewardship. 

That’s my dream!

Joyful Noise

It's fall break (no school Thursday-Monday), and I'm sitting across the table from Zoe while she plays Roblox on Nicky's laptop and sings loudly about America. One thing about Zoe - she makes noise with every emotion. If she's happy, she's loud. If she's sad, she's loud.

I can deal with the loud right now because she's happy. She has had quite the emotional few days. 

Zoe has a strange attachment to our household items. A few years ago we got a new couch in our living room, and Zoe went ballistic over us getting rid of our old one. She laid on the cushions and cried for hours, begging us to keep it. She kept saying, "But it's a part of our family!" I thought this was a one-time, attention-seeking episode, but then she did the same thing when we got a new dishwasher. All of a sudden, our old, piece of crap dishwasher had a name and was the most important thing our family had ever owned. I had to hold her back while Scotty dragged the old dishwasher out of the house. 

Well, the time has come for us to buy a new vehicle. Our van is on the fritz and has been for a while. Our truck is also on the fritz, but one thing at a time. We did a few thousand dollars of repairs on the van a few years ago in hopes that we could get it to last another 2-3 years, and luckily, it did. But now we either need to throw a few thousand dollars more into it or replace it, and after thinking about it and looking at a few options, we are going to buy a new (to us) one. 

We bought our current van in 2016. It has lived a good life. It has taken us to California nine times, Saint George five times, and various other destinations like Phoenix, New Mexico, Idaho, and a slew of National and State Parks. It's had a good run, and we've beat the crap out of it. The DVD player is broken, the seams of the seats have come apart and it's shedding bits of foam all over the interior, pieces have fallen off the inside and the outside, the carpet is worn down to the netting, and - let's be honest - it's absolutely disgusting after everything my kids have put it through. It has melted candy in the cup holders, crayon vandalism that no one will own up to, permanent sand in every crevice, and it smells pretty bad, too (shortly after we bought the van, a gallon of milk leaked in the trunk, and we had to pull out the carpet multiple times trying to get it clean, and it's never been the same). 

None of that stuff really matters to me, though. As long as the van is drivable and the fast food window works, I'm happy to keep driving it. But it's been leaking oil off and on for a few years now (we've had some things fixed, but the mechanic said it would likely start leaking again over time, and he was right), it has a strange vibration when we accelerate, and it makes a popping sound in the axels whenever we turn or reverse or make any quick movements. We've done repairs here and there, but it's to the point where we've done all of the affordable fixes and the more expensive ones aren't guaranteed to resolve the issues. 

(Here is when I change tense because it took me so long to write this post that what was present tense when I started is now past tense, and I just have to throw this little aside in here for my own peace of mind).

We found the van we wanted to buy, and when Zoe heard that we were planning on getting a new one, she went nuts (we weren’t going to tell her, but we forgot to let my mom know, and she mentioned it to Zoe without knowing what was going to happen). We got in contact with the seller, and over a few days as we tried to work out a time to go test drive and purchase the van, Zoe was an emotional wreck.

The night she found out about the van, she cried (loudly) for a couple of hours. When we put her to bed, she wailed from her room until she fell asleep. The next morning, she started crying as soon as she woke up. Then she cried on the way to school and refused to get out of the van until I promised her that we wouldn’t get rid of it while she was at school. 

After school, she did this for a while:

This whole deal started Tuesday night and continued through Friday. The odds were good that we would be making the final purchase Friday evening. Knowing this, Zoe requested to have some time alone with “Muffin,” which is what she suddenly started referring to our van as, based on the Bluey character. 

Zoe went out into the garage, instructing us to not come out no matter what we heard. She took the Echo out there and played music by AJR (which she claims is “sad” music), and she wailed for a while (and occasionally checked to make sure the garage door wasn’t completely closed so we could hear her). She told us she was doing a “goodbye ritual.” She also made me provide her with a lantern. 

It was intense.

We did end up getting the new van that night, and as we left the dealership - having traded in “Muffin” - we had to pry Zoe off.

None of the child development, parenting, or psychology classes I took for my degree prepared me for whatever this is.

As we left the dealership, pulling Zoe away from the old van, we tried the Marie Kondo approach and told Zoe to thank the van for serving its purpose and release it. 

As we drove home in the new van, she started feeling better and turned her energy toward fighting with Eva. There was a lot less crying but a lot more yelling. It made the new van instantly feel like “ours.” Ah, the sound of sibling rivalry echoing from the walls of a vehicle driving 65 down Mountain View.

So I’m okay with Zoe’s current noises of happiness because it sure beats the weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth she’s been dishing out for the past several day.

What Happened…

When I tried to can tomatoes this week…

After they got done processing, I was looking back over the recipe, and I realized I had put 1 tsp of lemon juice in each jar, and it was supposed to be 1 tbs. As not to kill my family with botulism or something, I needed to either open the jars and add more lemon juice and reprocess them or use the tomatoes in another way. 

I ended up making a triple batch of this tomato soup and freezing it in quarts. I now have a winter’s worth of tomato soup ready to go.

Our tomatoes were small but plentiful this year

When I tried to make a triple batch of tomato soup…

My measuring spoons were mostly dirty, so I ended up using a 3/4 tsp and doing bad math (remember I was tripling the recipe so I had to convert the measurements to 3/4 tsp and then times it by three), and I put way too much basil in (it didn’t help that I was simultaneously making enchiladas and cilantro lime rice while also canning strawberry jam).

Luckily I realized this before I stirred the basil in, and I was able to scoop some back out while it was still floating on the top.

I’ve since sampled the soup and am happy to report that, despite the difficulty in making it, it’s edible.

This picture is a lie because this isn’t the soup I made the other day. This is a photo of sausage tortellini soup and your daily reminder to not believe everything you see on the internet!

When I tried to make chocolate chip cookies with Zoe…

They went flat and spread out over the pan. I make these cookies all the time, so I was rather distraught! I looked over the recipe to see what I had done wrong, and I had added 1.5 cups of flour instead of 2.5 cups. 

I ended up making them into pizookies and freezing the leftover dough in balls to eat as snacks later, raw egg be damned!

From all of this I have concluded that I probably need to stay out of the kitchen for a while. 

Please send pizza! Thank you and goodnight. 

Things the Kids Say: Episode 27

“I went to adult Sunday school once, and it was awful! They made us do math, and they didn’t even give us lunch!”

-Eva

—————

“I love seconds!”

-Eva, as she snuck an extra piece of bread from the sacrament tray 

—————

“Some day Nicky and Molly will be more than friends! They will be best friends!”

-Eva

—————

“Mom, can I have one of those naked peaches?”

-Eva, asking for a nectarine

—————

While watching How to Train Your Dragon 2:

Zoe: Why are her boobs so pointy? (talking about Hiccup’s mom)

Eva: I know, right? They’re like egg tops!

—————

Me: I will not keep track of your shoes!

Zoe: So you’re basically useless? Wow, Mom!

—————

Eva: Mom, can I get a pet fish?

Me: Nope. We’re not getting any more pets, or we’ll never be able to go on vacation!

Eva: We can just kill it before we leave!

—————

Zoe: Mom, you just wouldn’t understand what friendship is like for ten-year-olds these days.

Me: What makes you think that?

Zoe: Well, you were my age 29 years ago, and things are different now.

Me: What’s different?

Zoe: Well, we’re just a lot funnier nowadays. Like with all our funny t-shirts and stuff.

Me: Well then you wouldn’t understand what friendship was like when I was your age!

Zoe: Oh yes, I understand! All you did was sit around on benches saying, “Yo, what’s up?” except those words hadn’t been invented yet. 

Dip Night

We have regular game nights with our friends Chad and Carlie. We’ve been doing this for about 16 years. We started when our oldest kids were babies. Now we each have four kids of the same age and opposite gender. Our youngest are now 8. Time flies when you’re breeding and playing board games.

Anyway, game night usually starts at 4:00 pm on Saturdays, and we have dinner. We take turns hosting. Occasionally we like to have Dip Night where dinner consists exclusively of dips. 

We had such an occasion over the weekend. Our dips were:

Neiman Marcus Dip

This was my first time trying this dip. It was good - a lot like a cheese ball with bacon in it. It also has slivered almonds, which I love because I appreciate a little crunch.

Italian Hoagie Dip

This was really more like a salad, but the recipe calls it a dip, so it’s valid. The flavors were great, but it was hard to get it to stay on a piece of bread. I ended up tearing up little bits of bread, mixing them in the “dip,” and eating it with a fork… like a salad! I’m not sure if I’d make this again… considering I could just have a sandwich.

Seven(ish) Layer Dip

Carlie made seven(ish) layer dip with Chad’s homemade guacamole. Chad is our designated guacamole maker.

Spinach Artichoke Dip

Carlie brought this one. I think she went the Costco route on this one. I didn’t ask.

Scotty stretched the rules a bit and made some Buffalo wings on the smoker (I didn’t get a photo). He said they count for “dip” because you can dip them in ranch or bleu cheese… which no one did. This was his first time smoking wings. 

For sweets we had:

Oreo Dip

Zoe helped me make this, and we sampled it right away, and it was delicious! I liked it more before it sat, and the Oreos got soft. It was still good later, though. We dipped strawberries and apples in it.

Brownie Batter Dip

We’ve had this one at Dip Night before. Zoe asked if she could eat just this dip by licking it straight off her plate. I let her… because it was Dip Night, so why not?

Dip Night was a success, and since I know there are two of you who care (Cyndi and Krystle), here’s our game selection and winner list for the night: 

Ark Nova: Scotty

Splendor: Britt

Azul: Britt

Bohnanza: Britt & Chad tie

Ticket to Ride (Europe): Britt

Five Crowns: Carlie

Quixx: Carlie

Quixx: Britt

(Scotty, who normally dominates Game Night is not handling this well).

Dentist and Healer

While I was busy making our costumes for Fan X, I chipped a tooth. All of my dental inconveniences happen after office hours on Fridays. Like the time my crown fell off (Milk Duds. Can’t stop, won’t stop), and I had to deal with my exposed tooth nub for the weekend. I couldn’t keep my tongue away from it. My chipped tooth was no different. It happened on a Friday afternoon, and it drove me nuts all weekend. 

I called the dentist’s office right when it opened on Monday morning. They had me come in at 9:00, and I was out of there, good as new, by 9:45. It was amazing! 

I am continually amazed by the dental and medical marvels we have available to us. Over that weekend, while my jagged tooth made me crazy, I kept thinking about how all would be well within a few days. Annoying as it was, it was great to know that it was fixable. I’m so grateful that we don’t have to let our teeth rot to bits and fall out of our faces.

Now I just need my subconscious to get on board with this fact because I always have dreams that my teeth crumble and fall out of my mouth. Where my fellow tooth dreamers at? We are a special sort. According to this article, recurrent teeth dreams occur in 16.2% of sleepers, and 8.2% report having teeth dreams regularly. Shout out to the 8.2% You are my people!

A friend of mine who used to have teeth dreams told me that she had to have a tooth fixed a few years ago, and she hasn’t had teeth dreams since. She believes the experience reset her subconscious because she knows teeth can be repaired (or replaced). 

Even though my little chip was hardly a thing, I’m kind of hoping for the same results. Perhaps, in addition to healing my mouth, my dentist can also heal my mind!

Deep.

In the Bag

The other day I took a break from my household chores and spent a few minutes cleaning out my church bag. When my congregation got divided last month, I had been working as the Young Women secretary. 

Every week my family would take two bags to church; our family bag, which had activities, coloring books, and snacks and my personal bag, which had all of my supplies I needed to serve as a Young Women secretary. That is the bag that I decided to clean out since I am no longer the YW secretary (no calling for me yet in the new ward. I’m absolutely terrified of where I am going to end up. I had my fingers crossed that Scotty and I might get to do something together for a change, but Scotty has been claimed). 

As I cleaned out my bag, I felt quite amused about what I had in there. Some of the things I tote around are very practical; other things are a testament of how fussy and weird I am. For example, I always have whiteboard cleaner in my bag.

I like a nice, clean whiteboard, so I like to have the ability to wipe off stains and freshen them up around the church. There are a lot of things that happen to the church whiteboards that make them dingy. For example, people use chemicals on them that leave a film on the surface and make the markers harder to erase. I’ve seen people use baby wipes and Windex on them. Those are not good for melamine whiteboards. Water and oil from peoples’ hands can also affect the melamine whiteboards. So I usually keep a bottle of cleaner in my bag so I can clean whiteboards.

My new church building, which pre-dates Noah and somehow survived the flood, has mostly chalk boards. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with that. 

On the more normal side, my church bag had a lot of folders and notebooks in it. As secretary, I was the keeper of all informational things - calendars, lists, agendas, etc. It’s all in the recycle bin now.

But back to my fussy and weird side, I’m probably the only person in my entire ward, nay, my entire stake, who hauls around my own doorstops. It drives me nuts when I need to prop a door open, and I can’t find a doorstop, so I keep some in my bag, and when I need one, I drop it on the floor, and slide it into position with my foot. At that point I consider it a donation because I’m not going to perform the amount of work it takes to bend over and retrieve a doorstop after church. They come in a two pack at the dollar store, and, as you can see, their rubbery texture makes them pick up all the dust from the bottom of my church bag.

But like normal people might opt to do, I keep some lip gloss and hand lotion in my church bag. We mustn’t have dry hands or dry lips at church!

I usually have a stash of cough drops because there’s something about church that just makes you need to cough. The quieter it is, the more you need to cough.

And I have a few whiteboard markers. Even though I can use the church’s, I always like to have a few of my own. That way I know that they aren’t dried out, and then when someone needs one, I can be like, “Hey! I got your back!”

For many years, there have always been smarties somewhere in my bag. Every week at church, our dear Sister Argyle has passed out smarties to the kids. Sometimes my kids eat them right away, but sometimes they stash them in my church bag. Sister Argyle is in the other ward now, so there will be fewer Smarties in my bag.

I can’t be the only one who sometimes needs a flosser or a disposable toothbrush at church! There are always a few in my bag, which comes in very handy when I sit down at church, and one of my stinker kids starts whispering in my ear, and I become aware that they didn’t brush their teeth.

I also usually have gum and/or mints. 

When cleaning out my bag, this is what made me laugh the most! Every Sunday while I’m getting ready for church, I grab a pen or two. I have noticed that our stash of pens and pencils in our kitchen cupboard has been dwindling. I have now found the culprit! There were over 40 pens, pencils, and fine-point Sharpies in there.

It’s me, hi! I’m the problem, it’s me!

Last of all, though this is an incomplete list, I keep a small container of Play-Doh in my bag. I like to have busy hands, and Play-Doh gives me something to fidget with during church besides my phone. I also let my kids play with Play-Doh during church (scandalous, right?)

Next I need to clean out the family bag, but I’m not ready to tackle that mess. I try to clean it out about once a month. 

Do you have anything unusual in your church bag?

(My) Kids These Days

Nicky

-Just finished the golf season and didn’t really enjoy it this year. 

-Was cast as “Windward” in The Little Mermaid at the high school. He’s a seahorse. Can’t wait to see what his costume looks like. Update: I now have his costume in my possession and have been tasked with adding sequins.

-Works two nights a week belaying for rock climbing classes. 

-Is on seminary council and the stake youth council. In other words… is way too busy. 

-Is heading to the Shakespeare competition in Cedar City. He was hoping his scene wouldn’t be chosen for the competition, but it was. 

-Went to homecoming with his friend Regan, and just got asked to Sadie’s. 

-Is participating in all the high school things and having a good time.

-Is trying out for the swim team even though his mom and dad have tried to point out to him that he can’t fit one more thing in.

Daisy

-Just turned 14 on September 14th.

-Is on the junior high dance company again this year.

-Had her choreography chosen for the winter dance concert. She wouldn’t let me help and doesn’t want me to see it until the concert.

-Was moved to a different dance class at the community studio. She’s sad that she’s not with her peers that she’s been dancing with for many years, but she is being challenged more in the new class, so it’s a good change. 

-Is socially awkward and painfully insecure in all the same ways I was at her age.

-Is obsessed with Ken and Draco Malfoy. She keeps a Ken doll in her backpack, and she wears Draco Malfoy earrings and makes everything customizable (like the wallpaper on her phone) into something Malfoy or Slytherin related. 

-Likes to check out all the boys at Lagoon (but acts like that’s not what she’s doing).

-Is having a hard time with the ward boundary change because she got separated from some of her besties.

-Has a very messy room. On Monday I hid this DI find in there, and I’m still waiting for her to discover it!

Zoe

-Is doing Lego League for school, so I take her to school early twice a week.

-Still has big dreams all day everyday. One of her latest things is that she is writing books to donate to her classroom. I warned her teacher in an email at the start of the school year that Zoe would impose a lot of Big Ideas on her. 

-Has been learning about conservation at school and is on a “save the earth” kick. I’m like “How about you do things at home to help the earth? Like turn your closet light off?” But she’s more into breeding endangered animals and starting elaborate “save the earth” clubs. 

-Made her own sock puppets for a presentation at school… about conservation. 

-Wants chicken noodle soup all the time. 

-Sometimes surprises us by coming home from school and doing the dishes on her dish day (Wednesday) without being asked (it depends on her mood and what she wants).

-Is really into flannel right now, and always asks for flannel shirts when we go to DI. 

-Has very explosive emotions.

-Has a very hard time with friendship. She has been through some heartbreaking things. 

Eva

-Wants to be taken to a store everyday and thinks she has unlimited funding to buy anything she wants. 

-Is in an after school program called Tennis & Tutoring.

-Hit benchmark for reading for the first time ever! But is apparently not good at math and is performing at a kindergarten/1st grade level (she is in 3rd), so yippy. 

-Fights with Zoe non-stop.

-Asks for a pet everyday. She promises that she will take care of it, and that we can kill it if we ever want to go on vacation (she's full of solutions).

-Creates a trail of messes everywhere she goes and leaves her stuff all over the house. 

-Always brings stuff home from school and says her friends gave it to her. She’s either a klepto, or she has a sneaky way of getting everyone to give her stuff. 

-Is really funny and incredibly demanding.

-Totes around a skeleton from Dollar Tree and calls him "Grandpa Gary."

Thank Heaven Tomorrow is Pay Day (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: I'm having a hard time getting going today. I started out with a bang. I've been awake since about 4:30 (typical for me lately), and I lived an entire lifetime before I dropped the final kid off at school. After that, I ran some errands and worked on some projects for the high school. Then at 10:30, I hit my wall, and I've been a vegetable ever since. Well, maybe vegetable isn't the right word for me. I'm more of a Hostess snack. Whatever I am, I'm tired, fluffy, and I'm not moving much. 

Fact #2: I’m so glad that the writers’ strike has come to an end. Now let’s all get back to writing my shows! But don’t get sloppy because you’re in a rush! I’ll wait for your best work.

Fact #3: Every time I blow dry my hair, my watch gives me a noise warning. That’s the only time it ever happens. My kids can scream bloody murder in my ear, and my watch doesn’t care, but the second that air flow hits high, I’m getting a lecture. 

Fact #4: During this time of increasing costs of all things, I am so grateful to McDonald’s for continuing to have my back with the $1 large drink (my apologies to those of you who live in places where McD’s doesn’t have this). Never mind that the former $10 Bundle is now called a Classic Cheeseburger Pack and costs $17.89 (true story). We get dollar Cokes!

Fact #5: The other night I had a dream that the gym rearranged all their equipment, and I was livid! 

Fact #6: I’ve never been to a pumpkin patch. And that’s okay. 

Fact #7: We managed to grow a baker’s dozen pumpkins this year.

We’ve gotten a bit of rain this week

There were probably ten more on the vine that never would have made it to adulthood because they grew so late in the season. I picked the last two today and started pulling the vines out of the garden. I now have tiny cuts all up my arms from the spines. Speaking of which… I got a pumpkin spine in my thumb a few weeks ago. I’m not always diligent about wearing gardening gloves, and I ended up paying dearly for it. My finger ached for days until it forced the spine out. 

Fact #8: Sometimes when a song comes on the radio, my kids start asking questions like, "Mom? What's a honky tonk badonkadonk?" and I have to be prepared with answers like, "It's a buttocks of exceptional quality and bounce seen in a small bar that plays country music."

Fact # 9: I keep a list on my phone of ideas for blog posts, and sometimes I can't remember what I meant by what I wrote. For example, my current list says "Babybel cheese," and I have no idea what I wanted to write about Babybel cheese! I can say this, though: there's a show on BYUtv called Food Factory USA, and there's an episode about Babybel cheese. I was so excited to see how they get the wax on the cheese, and then right at the point in the episode where I should have been privy to such information, they said it's top secret. Why, Babybel? Why can't you show me how you wax your cheese?

My bedtime snack for tonight

(Maybe that's what I wanted to say all along. Glad I didn't waste an entire blog post for that). 

Fact #10: I am having a hard time reading right now. I can’t get into it. I don’t know if it’s me or the books. I just keep quitting book after book. Meanwhile, I’m half listening to The Hunger Games because I don’t have to be 100% focused. 

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears!

At school this year, Nicky is on the competitive theatre team. Every school calls it something different. Ours calls it Play Pro (or Play Productions). This week they are heading to the Shakespeare competition in Cedar City.

When Nicky decided to try out for Play Pro, I reminded him, “You know you’ll have to do Shakespeare, right?” Nicky hates Shakespeare. Heck, so do I. I can handle Shakespeare in small doses… as in one-line. “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” (Richard III, Act V, Scene IV). After that, I zone out. To read Shakespeare or to watch a Shakespearean play would be absolute torture to me! I gave my time in school. I respect the genius of iambic pentameter, but I don’t know what the hell that guy was talking about. 

(You can read about my first experience with Romeo and Juliet here).

I digress…

Nicky decided he would endure Shakespeare to participate in Play Pro, so off to the Festival he goes!

With his position on Play Pro comes a parental responsibility… I am officially a Drama Mama. To cheer the students on this week, I helped some moms decorate the drama lockers.

One of these is Nicky’s, and he told me he doesn’t even know which one is his. Hope he enjoys his Shakespeare decor! My kid refuses to use a locker! And I’m like… but you could keep food in there! And… he has TWO lockers. TWO!! (The other one is for ceramics). So much wasted space!

I wasn’t in charge of the lockers - I just went to help. My assignment was to put together some goodie bags for the students. The competition is for both Play Pro and Dance Co, so they asked me to do a small gift/treat for everyone (47 kids) and a larger break-a-leg gift for Play Pro (21 kids). 

For EVERYONE, I made a little bag with a tag that said, “Shine at Shakespeare like the star you are!”

Please excuse my blurry photos. These were taken at night, and I think my lenses were smudged.

The bags each have some Starbursts, a star bracelet, a finger LED light, and a Shakespeare sticker. 

The stickers are fun because each one is different, and I like how they show through the cellophane star bags like peeping Toms.

For PLAY PRO, I decided to make Shakespeare insult bags. This was so much fun! I read through tons and tons of Shakespearean insults to come up with the ideas (way more Shakespeare than I should ever have to read as a person who graduated high school 21 years ago) (I did it for the kids)!

I initially thought of this because Scotty and I read The Wednesday Wars years ago, and since then, we’ve often called each other “pied ninnies” which comes from Shakespeare’s play, The Tempest and is one of the phrases that tricked Holling Hoodhood into liking Shakespeare. 

Any time I think of Shakespeare, I think of “pied ninnies,” so when I started brainstorming ideas for treats, I couldn’t help pondering the brilliance of giving everyone a tiny pie. But then my plan evolved, and I came up with this:

“Good luck go with thee!” Break a leg & share a Shakespearean insult!

Now before someone lectures me about saying “good luck” to actors, I’M QUOTING SHAKESPEARE! Superstitions don’t apply!

Anyway, here’s what’s in the bags:

“I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands!”

(Anti-bacterial hand wipes)

“Like the toad; ugly & venomous”

(gummy frogs)

“This kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake!”

(chapstick & kisses)

“Come, come, you froward and unable worms!

(sour gummy worms)

(also, not a typo - the word is “froward.” it means “difficult to deal with).

“The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended  nostril!”

(tissues)

“That roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly!”

(pudding)

And the final item is a Shakespeare insult sheet:

“You impertinent, fat-kidneyed horn-beast!”

I saw this on Pinterest and recreated it to fit the gift bags. 

As much as I love a pied ninny, I abandoned the pie idea after trying to find an affordable option. Walmart used to have mini pies for 50 cents, but you know how that’s going lately (price increases and fewer flavors available). Pudding was a lot cheaper. 

I had a blast putting these together. I love doing stuff like this. I hope the kids get a kick out of it and expand their vocabularies.