Dinner Party with the Deceased

Several weeks ago, I posted my first dinner party guest list. I concluded that I need to host many dinner parties in order to accommodate all of the different groups of people I want to dine with - celebrities, authors, religious figures, etc.

I thought I could make a dinner party guest list of people who have passed on, but it turns out it's a much greater feat than I imagined. When I consider all of the people throughout time who have died, it's hard to narrow down who I would invite to my dinner party. I would happily welcome an abundance of attendees: scriptural figures, religious leaders, politicians, artists, explorers, ancestors, celebrities, writers, and plain, ordinary people from all eras of existence.

I started thinking that I would have to host a banquet rather than a dinner party - I'd rent a huge venue with a serving staff and the whole bit - but then I remembered that my goal in having a dinner party is to get to talk to each individual. A banquet will not do! I am going to have to host approximately 86 dinner parties with 5-8 attendees, and in order to make it through all of my guests before I, myself, die, I'm probably going to need to have a dinner party at least once a month.

Oi! This is going to cost a fortune!

With that said, I better get my first guest list up and running. Here we go:

Guest #1: My Great-Grandma

First on my guest list is my own great-grandmother, Lillian. She died when I was 7 years old. As a young child, I adored my great-grandma, and I thought she was going to live forever. To this day, I believe that my middle name should have been Lillian.

I only have a very small glimpse of what she was like - and only from the perspective of a small child. I would love to talk to her and get to know her as an adult. It would be fun to see the similarities between her and my grandma (her daughter). I imagine they are quite similar, but what if they're not? What if they are mother/daughter opposites? It would be amazing to find out.

(For the next party, I'll invite my great-grandma from my mom's side of the family).

Guest #2: Steve Irwin

I loved Steve Irwin. He was so upbeat and positive in a way that was kind of unbelievable. I adore the way his family talks about him and how they treat each other with such immense love and kindness. When Steve was alive, he spoke so affectionately of his wife and children. He also handled scrutiny and criticism with class. He was just an all-around good guy, in my opinion.

I would love to talk to him about his family, their shared-passion for reptiles, and their values. My inner marriage and family studies major gets all sort of excited about stuff like this!

(For the next party I'll invite Robin Williams).

Guest #3: Eliza R. Snow

If you're not familiar with Eliza, she was the second General Relief Society President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the 1800's (she oversaw the women's organization of the Church... for over 20 years!) (nowadays that position is held for closer to five years).

Eliza was a pioneer, a teacher, and a poet. She penned one of my favorite hymns, "O My Father."

Favorite lines:

Yet ofttimes a secret something
Whispered "You're a stranger here,"
And I felt that I had wandered
From a more exalted sphere.

She was a very likely a victim of gang rape in Missouri. I can't imagine the emotional turmoil that put her through, but she remained steadfast in her faith. I think it would be an absolute honor to sit across from her at the dinner table. There's a lot I'd like to ask her.

Plus, she had a reputation for being punctual, so I know she won't be late!

(My next party will host Emma Smith).

Guest #4: Alexander Hamilton

Since Lin Manuel Miranda is invited to my celebrity dinner party, Alexander Hamilton is a 'must have' for my dinner party with the deceased. I'd love to ask him a lot of political questions, namely, how does he feel about the current state of our country? Which parts of the constitution does he think need to be reiterated? What appalls him about our modern United States of America? And what does he admire?

But... I'm not sure I want to engage in any political talk at the dinner party. So... it's more likely that I will ask him all about Hamilton the musical. What is accurate? What is not accurate? How does he feel about the music? The lyrics?

By the way, my favorite lines from Hamilton are probably from the song "Quiet Uptown:"

There are moments that the words don't reach
There's a grace too powerful to name
We push away what we can never understand
We push away the unimagineable

(Listen here).

If you're not familiar with Hamilton, it will be helpful to know that at this point in the play, Alexander's wife, Eliza, has learned that Alexander had an affair. Shortly after, their son dies, so Alexander and Eliza are working their way through grief and reconciliation. I would love to ask Alexander what he learned about grief and reconciliation.

And... can he rap?

(Thomas Jefferson is up next month).

Guest #5: Harriet Tubman

As a child I was very fascinated with Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad. Harriet (whose real name was Arminta Ross) has always been a heroine of mine. Not only was she courageous and strong, she was also clever and inventive. There are some fantastic stories of things she would do to keep herself from being discovered. One of my favorites was when she dressed herself as an old woman and carried two live chickens with her. When she crossed paths with her former master, she sneakily set the chickens free and set off chasing after them. 

Harriet Tubman was also a woman of faith. She had a firm belief in God and had visions and experiences that helped her lead people to safety. 

I have the feeling I could listen to her tell her stories for days. 

(I'll be inviting Joan of Arc to my next party).

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think this is going to be a pretty amazing dinner party. 

The Day Zoe Got Her Logic

I've always thought it would be fantastic if children could be born with fully developed logic and reasoning skills, but that would be asking a bit too much, so I sit back and watch my kids develop as God intended, sometimes with great degrees of impatience.

With each kid I wonder... when will she figure out that she can force those frustrating boogers out of her head by blowing into a tissue? When will she understand that the person in the swing might seem far away, but that's going to change in about .02 seconds?

And when....

WHEN will she finally grasp the concepts of choices and consequences?

I remember how exciting it was when Nicky first showed his logic. It happened immediately after he turned four. He went from a rambunctious, hyperactive, tantrum-prone three-year-old to a responsible, thoughtful, logical four-year-old almost overnight. I was blown away. Suddenly I could explain things to him in a logical way, and he could understand. Things like, "Brushing our teeth helps us to not get cavities."

That explanation at age three wasn't helpful. We still had to pin Nicky down and force a toothbrush in his mouth (and even with that, he ended up with six crowns and five fillings before he could even pronounce his 'R's). But at age four, the reasons to brush our teeth made sense to him, and Nicky responded accordingly. As we explained these logical things to him, we could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought them through, and then he would say, "Oh, okay," like, "Why didn't you just tell me that before?"

Since logic set in so quickly with Nicky, I expected the same thing to happen with Daisy, but when she turned four, the logic didn't come. Now she's eight, and she's very intelligent, but she doesn't have the greatest common sense. Logic didn't switch on with her like it did for Nicky. It has unfolded slowly and is still developing (she's right in the middle of Piaget's concrete operations stage which is where a lot of that logical thinking develops, so she's right on track - I've just never had a big, defining moment with her like I did with Nicky).

Since we had two very different experiences with our first children and their logic, we weren't sure what Zoe would bring, especially with Zoe having some difficulty in speech and socio-emotional development.

Zoe is in her third year of special ed preschool. I've never really known what is right for her in that regard. I've often wondered if I forced her into that social environment too soon. I prayed... a lot... but never felt like I received a solid answer. I wanted her to have access to speech therapy and to make some friends. Plus she loves art projects, activities, and singing. But every time I'd take her to school, I'd have to drag her in kicking and screaming. Her teachers would always tell me she calmed down five minutes after I left, and I was glad for that, but the ruckus I had to deal with at home before taking her to school day after day was traumatic, and I was worried about how it was affecting her.

So this school year began, and I went into it thinking that I might pull Zoe out of preschool. I prayed some more, and still didn't feel like I received an answer. Perhaps my answer is, "Either way is fine." I've wondered about that...

After the first few weeks of school, Zoe was still kicking and screaming almost every day, and I was on the brink of pulling her out... along with my own hair. Then one morning, I just couldn't fight the battle again, so when she started her tantrums, I said, "Zoe, you can choose if you want to go to school or stay home. If you go to school, you will get to see your friends and have a snack, and I will take you to get an ice cream cone after. If you stay home, you will have to help me do laundry, and you can't watch TV." Then I set a pile of clothes next to her and said, "You know how to get ready for school, so if you decide you're going to go to school today, here's your stuff."

Then I walked out of the room and silently begged, "Please let this work because I really don't want to follow through with the laundry and TV thing."

I was shocked when Zoe came downstairs a few minutes later fully dressed with her shoes on, her hair combed, and her teeth brushed. She walked up to me and said, "I'm going to school because doing laundry with you is boring."

Her logic switched on!

And I haven't had to fight her to go to school since (although I do have to take her to get ice cream every day. It's the first thing she says when she gets in the van after school, "Let's go get my ice cream!" It's a small price to pay for this peaceful change in our lives).

I can't say that things will continue to go this smoothly, but for the past month, Zoe has done very well with school. She even missed some school for our Disneyland trip and from being sick, and she didn't regress. She has a great group of classmates. When the parents drop them off in the morning, they all greet each other with so much cuteness I could die. I love bringing a non-screaming child to school and hearing a chorus of little voices shout, "Zoe! Hi Zoe!"

(One of the funnest parts of Zoe's current age is that friendship is becoming very real. When Zoe and her friends see each other, they display pure joy! Ten minutes later, they are fighting over something stupid, but for those first few moments, it's the most amazing thing to witness. I wish we still acted like that as adults. What if we jumped up and down and yelled our friends names then ran into a hug every time we saw each other? Maybe that would solve all the world's problems... at least until we couldn't agree on whether to play house or animal doctor...)

Logic. I'm a fan.

Post-Ornery Phase Catch-Up

A few times a year, I go through a phase where I get super raging mad about anything and everything. I don't know if it's hormonal or a chemical imbalance or what, but I feel crazy, and I worry that I will snap in a way that will permanently damage relationships.

I'm just coming out of that phase right now. Things are looking up! But for the past three weeks, oh boy.

I feel much better today.

Anyway, I haven't blogged much lately because everything has been coming out in a whiney, pathetic, and ungrateful manner. Now I have several posts in my draft folder that I can look back on in a few years and think, "Suck it up, you ninny!"

(Maybe half my problems is the way I talk to myself... hmmm...)

So here's a quick run-down of what's been going on lately...

Scotty's Job

Scotty's new job involves some travel. I haven't told you a lot about the job he started in May, but he now works for the LDS Church. He works with the temples, and he had to go to Memphis to help close the temple for renovation (his previous job involved shipping all the state's liquor, so we laugh about the contrast between his two recent employment opportunities. For a while, he was known at his new job as "the liquor guy").

The week Scotty was gone was a little crazy. It seemed that all the "events" and responsibilities were scheduled for that week, and just to add to the fun, my van died. During the prior weeks, I had three friends whose car batteries died. On Monday morning, I told my friend Julie (whose battery had just died over the weekend) that it seemed to be a trend and I might be next!

I thought I was kidding, but it happened the very next day! Luckily it happened in the garage, so I wasn't out and about. My neighbor came over and jump started my van, and then I went to have the battery tested. I ended up having to buy a new one.

For as busy as things were while Scotty was gone, I actually handled things pretty well. It was stressful, but we made it through. My angry streak started after he got home. Poor Scotty.

The Thing in the Ear

Scotty likes to look in our kids' ears with a flashlight. I came home from choir practice last Sunday afternoon, and Scotty told me that he found something in Daisy's ear. He made me look, and sure enough, there was something black-ish inside. Scotty tried to dig it out with an ear pick, but Daisy wasn't cooperative.

{Eva's ear inspection}

As this all unfolded, I started to recall that several years ago, we could see something in Daisy's ear. It looked like a glob of wax, but it was hard. We thought it might be her tube. We tried for weeks to get it out, and eventually we just stopped messing with it. I don't think we ever took her to the doctor for it.

I also vaguely remember the doctor looking in her ear at one point and telling me that her ear had a lot of wax build-up. The doc didn't clean it out because Daisy was really fussy about it, and it wasn't causing any problems.

Anyway, we kind of forgot that there was something in Daisy's ear, so we're pretty sure that it was in there that whole time... about five years. No big deal.

Parents of the Decade, for sure.

I ended up taking Daisy to the pediatrician on Tuesday. The doc tried to dig it out but couldn't get it to budge. She put some ear drops in Daisy's ear to help loosen the wax, and then she irrigated the ear, but the thing wouldn't come out (no thanks to Daisy who was going crazy through all of this).

On Wednesday we went to an ENT, and he was able to get it out. It was Daisy's tube, after all, and it had sat there in the wax for so long that the wax had turned black. It looked like beef jerky. It had been blocking most of her ear canal, so I'm hoping that Daisy will be able to hear a little better now. She has always been the kid that has to keep turning the TV up and can't seem to hear anything.

Fall Break

My kids had fall break last week. I had no idea what to do with them while they were out of school. In Utah, when school is out and the weather is good and there's a holiday approaching... things are nuts. It's incredibly crowded everywhere, and I can't handle it, so I needed to think of something to do with my kids that didn't involve being out with the people.

I made a list of ideas, and then we did a silent vote. My kids are always at odds with each other (I know this is normal, but I still feel like it's just us or that my kids are worse than others), so I told them that I was going to read them a list of things we could do, but they were not allowed to give any opinions on the list. They had to listen silently, and then I would call them one at a time to my bedroom where they would tell me their top two choices. If I heard them discussing the activities or trying to sway one another, the activities would be canceled.

They ended up choosing to make blankets for Primary Children's Hospital, which totally surprised me. I wasn't sure how it would play out - it definitely had the potential to be a disaster. I was pretty sure that they would whine and hate it, and that I would end up finishing all the blankets myself while they destroyed the house.

I took them to Walmart, and each kid picked some fleece. Then we went home and cut and tied the blankets. Zoe and Eva obviously weren't any help, but Nicky and Daisy did a pretty good job. I did the cuts (I was hoping Nicky and Daisy could help cut, but I learned pretty quickly that their skills aren't quite to that level yet), and Nicky and Daisy tied them. The blankets didn't turn out perfect, but they are good enough.

The next day we took them to the hospital.

Nicky and Daisy loved it! There was some whining, of course, but overall, it went very well and was a great way to spend our days off.

(I wanted to share this with you not to boast, but just in case it's something you would like to do as well. It's a great activity for families or youth groups. You can find the information here. My children have been to the hospital several times and have always been given a doll or a blanket, and it really helps make the hospital experience more positive. Next time we are going to make some stuffed monsters).

The Jazz Game

Last Wednesday, Scotty was offered free tickets to the Jazz game, so we hauled the kids downtown to the arena. This was the opening game for the season. We took the kids on Trax in the free fare zone, just for fun.

I think Nicky has been to a Jazz game, but he was so young he doesn't remember, so for the most part, this was our first Jazz game as a family. Our seats were the second from the last row, so we were up pretty high (we typically end up in the last two rows at any event we go to there). We figured we'd make it through the first half and then have to go home. We were exactly right.

The kids were pretty good. Nicky and Daisy loved it. Even Zoe and Eva were alright. The problem was that Eva took an interest in the stairs, and we couldn't contain her. I was a nervous wreck because the stairs up there are so steep. I imagined Eva plummeting to her death no less than 5,000 times, and finally I said, "We have to go. I can't do this!"

{Those were some high seats}

Halloween Prep

We've been ironing out all of the costuming details for Halloween. I try to not put a lot of effort into the kids' costumes because I never know if they will actually wear them. A four-year-old can spend three months saying she is going to be a frog for Halloween and then wake up on Halloween morning and insist that she's allergic to frogs and that she has always wanted to be a lady bug.

A few weeks ago, Zoe got attached to a Daisy Duck costume that my mom made me when I was about three. I didn't think she would really wear it, but she has worn it... and worn it... and worn it...

She wore it to the grocery store. She wore it to her friend Milo's house. She wore it to her grandma's house and then her cousin Lincoln liked it, so she let him have a turn wearing it. And last weekend, she wore it to a Halloween party and won a costume contest. 

Through all of this, I have had the privilege of hauling a gigantic plush duck head and tuchus around in the trunk of my van, and I am constantly asked, "Mom, where's my duck butt?"

{Zoe eating a donut at Milo's house}

We'll see what she decides to do when it's really Halloween. We have three dress up activities this week and then next week will be the school parade. There's still plenty of time to transition to lady bug. 

The Dress with a (Re)Purpose

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I'd stayed up late working on a project. I wasn't sure if the project was going to work out or if I would totally fail and have to hide it under my bed and act like it never happened.

That project was a baptism dress for my daughter, Daisy... Made from my wedding dress.

When Zoe was born, I decided to make her blessing dress from my wedding dress. I liked the idea of giving a very expensive dress that I only wore once a new purpose.

I wasn't sure if I could do it, but it worked out. I made it up as I went, and I had no expectation for how it would turn out. This is the good thing about not really knowing how to sew - I'm not limited by rules!

Since I made a blessing dress for my second daughter (Zoe) but not my first (Daisy), I decided I would make my first daughter a baptism dress out of my wedding dress. Then I had a third daughter (Eva), and my idea changed from a baptism dress for Daisy to a baptism dress that all three of them can wear - if they so choose. 

Anyway, I made the blessing dress in 2013, and at that time, Daisy's 8th birthday seemed pretty far away. Then all of a sudden it was here. In September, I realized I needed to either commit to the baptism dress or let it go. Back when I first came up with the idea, a friend of mine told me she would help me, but in July she left on a mission to Chile. 

(Did she plan it this way?)

So I found myself in a pickle. 

I pulled my wedding dress out and took a good look at it. I decided to start unpicking it just to see what I might be able to do. I took apart the bodice and figured it would be too awful to sew back together in a smaller size. So that's what I did. Then I cut a circle skirt from the train and sewed it to the bodice.

It sounds simple. 

It wasn't. 

It was a lot of work, and I nearly lost my mind. I repeatedly pinned the dress on Daisy to make sure that I was making it the right size. Then late one night, I put the zipper in and finished the last stitch. The next morning I tried it on Daisy, and it was 6" too wide.

How does that happen?

I waited two weeks to get over it and then I picked it apart, took it in, and sewed the zipper back in. 

(These sentences are far too short to adequately portray how much work this was).

At that point, it fit her better around the waist, but there were some problems with the sleeves. There was no way I was going to take it back apart to fix the sleeves (it would have required me to take out almost every stitch in the dress). 

So we made it work.

I bought a brooch from Walmart, removed the pin, and made a sash to go around the waist. This made the whole dress. 

The neckline was a little baggy, there were spots where the fabric was frayed, and the hemline was pretty hideous, but I was pretty happy with how it turned out.

The best part? We are set for the next two baptisms.

Three Pieces of Advice

I've received a lot of advice throughout my life. Good advice and bad advice. Solicited advice and unsolicited advice.

I've also given a lot of advice throughout my life. Good advice and bad advice. Solicited advice and unsolicited advice.

Of all the advice I've been given, I can think of three things that I would consider the "greatest hits." These are pieces of advice that I fall back on over and over again, so I thought they should be shared!

The first piece of advice comes from an unknown source. I don't remember where I saw or heard it, but it is this:

"Treat your children the way you want others to treat them."

We receive all sorts of messages about parenting through various sources, and I confess, I don't take many to heart.

This particular counsel, however, made me stop and think really hard about the way I speak to and treat my children. When other people care for, teach, or discipline my kids, I expect them to speak kindly to them, to love them, and to truly listen to them. Yet, I frequently give myself a free pass on these things because I'm their mom. I have to deal with them night and day. For some reason, that makes me think I have the right to be impatient, short, and snippy with them. If other people treated my children the way I do, I would be outraged. I need to let go of the idea that it's okay for me to treat them poorly. It's not a parental right.

The second piece of advice comes from my third grade teacher, Mrs. Patterson.

If I have any writing skills at all, it's because of Mrs. Patterson. She saw something in me and nurtured it. She always pulled me aside from the class and gave me writing tasks. I didn't know that she was doing me such a great favor. I remember her having me write a piece for a contest. I worked on it for weeks simply because she told me to, and she set aside the time for me to do it. And then I won! Anyway, her advice was:

 "Let it get cold."

Any time we wrote something in Mrs. Patterson's class, she would gather our rough drafts and put them away for several days. She called it letting them "get cold." The purpose of this was to distance ourselves from our writing so we could proofread and edit with fresh eyes later. At the time, I did it just because that's how Mrs. Patterson ran her classroom, but now, I understand the value of letting my writing "get cold." I don't always have the patience for it, but when I do it, it yields much better writing.

The last piece of advice comes from Hank Smith, a popular LDS presenter. Several years ago, he wrote a guest post for the Red-Headed Hostess with tips for successful teaching. One of his tips was:

"Prepare until you are excited."

I have always remembered this, and for the past four years, I've used this for a guide for knowing when my Sunday school lessons or workshop presentations are "ready." I've found that no matter how much I dislike the topic or the content of the lesson, if I keep studying, praying, and working through it, I will always get to the point where I become excited to teach.

Have you ever received some advice that was really helpful to you? I would love to hear it!

Dinner Party Guest List: Celebrity Edition

A few weeks ago during lunch I was thinking about how fun it would be to get to sit across from certain people and have meaningful (or even not meaningful) conversations. I started thinking about who I would like to talk to, and I decided I should probably start coming up with a tentative dinner party guest list just in case.

One can never be overly prepared for a dinner party.

(Not that I would know. I don't go to dinner parties. Are there even such things as dinner parties in real life? Do people invite other people over for nice dinners? I've been to a few potlucks and BBQs, but dinner party? No. Though I did host a Christmas dinner with friends one year when I was feeling super social and capable. Was that a dinner party? Help me out here).

Anyway, I started keeping a note on my phone about possible guests for my dinner party. Then I realized that I need to have several different dinner parties. Remember how I struggle with hypotheticals? The guest list started getting too complex. I needed to set some boundaries. For example, can any of my dinner guests be dead people? Because of the difficulties of hypothetical situations, I ended up organizing my dinner party guests lists into categories. So my first dinner party will host celebrities.

Without further ado, here is my unofficial-but-possibly-official celebrity dinner party guest list:

Guest #1: Miley Cyrus

Okay, I bet you didn't see that one coming.

But seriously, Miley is invited, and if she can't make it, I would happily allow Justin Bieber to take her spot.

Why? Because deep down, I have always felt the need to be their mother. I want to hold them in my arms and nurture the crap out of them.

Guest #2: Michael J. Fox

Why? Because Marty McFly was my first crush, and Michael J. Fox was one of my favorite guest stars on Scrubs (and yes, those two episodes of Scrubs make me cry every time... when Dr. Casey can't leave the hospital because he can't stop washing his hands... and the Epiphany Toilet on the roof... could I go potty on a roof? I don't think I could).

But Michael also makes the list because I'd love to hear about his experiences in Hollywood and living with a debilitating disease.

Guest #3: James McAvoy

Why? I've always referred to James McAvoy as my "weird guy crush." He's not strikingly handsome, but in the movie Becoming Jane, there's a part where he dances with Anne Hathaway, and he gives her this look.

And well... pretty much I just want him to sit at my dinner table and give me that look. He doesn't need to say anything unless he really wants to.

Guest #4: Hugh Jackman

Why? Do I really need to explain? C'mon. It's Hugh Jackman. He's charming, he's handsome, and he's Australian. He can come to my dinner party and say anything he wants.

Guest #5: Amy Poehler

Why? Someone needs to represent funny, successful women at my dinner party, and Amy Poehler is my first choice. Plus, I need to ask her if she'll play me in the movie about my life.

(I'm worried that if she says no, I'll be played by Jennifer Coolidge. Why do I have this fear? I don't know. But I feel that my casting requests need to be made known. Realistically, I will be super old when my movie is made, and a much younger person will need to play me, so I should be looking at the up and coming ten-year-old actresses and not someone who is 13 years older than me).

Anyway, Amy Poehler can be pretty crude, but she also has the capacity to be profound. I think we could have a great chat.

Guest #6: Lin Manuel Miranda

Why? My reasons for inviting Lin might seem weird, but I am being perfectly honest when I say this...

I am paranoid that I will have to compete in a rap battle someday, and I?

Have no rap battle skills whatsoever. I fear the day that I am standing in front of 100 people - or even five people - and expected to rap on the fly.

I am simply hoping that Lin's talent will rub off on me when I ask him to pass the salt. 

IT COULD HAPPEN!

Aside from that, I would love to talk to him about his creative process. In Hamilton's America, Miranda expressed how he read Chernow's Hamilton biography while he was on vacation, and the people in the book reached into his soul and, well... started rapping to him. Even though no historical figures have rapped to me, hearing Miranda describe the experience of how he became inspired to write Hamilton the Musical felt familiar. I have experienced smaller scale inspiration in my life. This needs to be discussed over appetizers. 

Guest #7: Matt Damon

Why? We have a running family joke about Matt Damon. I won't get into the details (you had to be there), but Matt makes appearances in all of our family vacation slideshows. Also, his birthday is written on my calendar (it's on Sunday. Note to self: make cake for Matt Damon's birthday). All of this constitutes an invitation to my dinner party, but most importantly, I need to ask him if he was in Disneyland the first week of April in 2014. This information would clear up some things. 

Guest #8: Keanu Reeves

Why? When I was in high school, I went through what I now refer to as my "Keanu Reeves Phase." I don't know where it came from, but it must have been a combination of The Matrix, Sweet November, and Hardball. I had a Keanu poster on my wall, and I carried around a Bill and Ted sticker (I still have it). 

Keanu is a welcome guest at my dinner party not only because he is a former crush but also because I'd love to hear about what he has been through in life. 

Guest #9: Hillary Clinton

Why? Honestly, I've never known what to make of Hillary Clinton. She is a woman of power and leadership, but at the same time, I don't know her "truth." I want to sit down with her in a comfortable place and see who she really is. Strip away the politics. Who is this woman in her genuine form? What are her fears? Her insecurities? What would she binge watch on Netflix? Would she win me in a rap battle?

Side note: I wrote this post about two weeks ago, and then Hillary Clinton was on Fallon last night... with Miley Cyrus. I feel like my dinner party guests are hanging out without me.

Guest #10: Gordon Ramsay

Why? Mostly because I want to serve him my cooking and see if he forces it down and tries to be polite or if he would insult my very core.

On Vegas

Any time there's a tragic event, I think about what I would say if I were to write about it. I always have a blog post running in my head, but I never write it - partially because I don't know if I'll say the correct thing and partially because there is so much "noise" following a tragedy that quiet contemplation begins to feel more appropriate.

I was in Vegas on Saturday. We stopped on our way home from California, and we were right by Mandalay Bay. The gold building was really the only hotel I looked at that day because it was the one that most obstructed my view. It shimmered in the sunlight. Everything appeared safe and calm. We left the city not knowing that the very next day, lives would be lost on that ground.  

I have many thoughts and feelings about Vegas, and they are all piling up with the thoughts and feelings I was already experiencing (and not writing) from all of the other tragic events our world has faced in the past few weeks. I'm choosing to not add to the noise, but I didn't want to move forward without acknowledging what has happened.

I will say that this event has made me think about what I need to do personally to send more goodness out into the world. It is my hope and my prayer that we will all be able to witness the goodness in the world during this tumultuous time, and that we may all be contributors.

If You Take Your Kids to Disneyland

We just got back from a family vacation to Disneyland. This trip included a fun mix of people. We planned to go with Scotty's mom's family. All were invited, but it only ended up being Scotty's mom and step-dad and one step-brother and his family who could come. That step-brother is married to my best friend from childhood, Michelle, so it makes it extra fun. Then Michelle's sister ended up coming with her daughter, and Scotty's step-sister from his dad's side of the family came with her boyfriend (who was a first timer - which is always exciting but it is especially exciting that his first trip to Disneyland was with his girlfriend's step-dad's ex-wife), and we also met up with our niece who currently works at California Adventure.

 

Did you get all that?

(When you and your husband both come from blended families, there is sometimes a need for diagrams).

It's always interesting to see people's reactions when we tell them we are going to Disneyland. Some people are genuinely happy for us. Others are mean about it. Disneyland can be a touchy subject.

A family vacation to Disneyland is equal parts wonderful and horrible.

If you take your kids to Disneyland, plan for all of the following scenarios to take place:

• You will repeatedly have to take your four-year-old out of line because she says she needs to go poop. She will not go poop. Instead, she will look up at you from the toilet and say, "Hmmm.... I guess I don't need to go poop."
• Your kids will whine and cry about every piece of merchandise and food they see. You will spend the bulk of your time in Disneyland saying, "No."
• They will also be in frequent disagreement about what ride you should be going on and who should sit with whom.
• It will be hot, crowded, smelly, exhausting, loud, and frustrating.
• Your kids will bite, push, argue, and hit each other while you wait in line after line after line...
• People will force their way into your spots for World of Color, the parade, and Haunted Mansion.
• Rides will break down when you are ten people from loading.
• Your kids' legs will stop working, and they will lay on the sidewalk and cry. But when you get back to the hotel after dragging them a mile and a half down Harbor Boulevard, their legs will be magically healed, allowing them to run up and down the corridor all night while you whisper-yell, "Stop running! People are sleeping!"
• Your child will spill yogurt on your clean shirt at breakfast every morning.
• Someone will repeatedly throw up next to you on Mickey's Fun Wheel (a ride that, fortunately, has a complimentary barf bag in the cage). You might have to help this person when the bag starts leaking. This person will be a relative, but out of courtesy, you won't be able to tell the internet who it is.
• Stuff will fall out of your stroller while you are in shoulder to shoulder crowds, and you will have to decide whether to cut the loss or risk being trampled.
• Your feet will hurt so bad that it will feel like something foreign is attached to them.
• You and your spouse will take turns being the orneriest person on earth. 
• Your two-year-old will refuse to wear shoes and/or pants.
• You will have to spend $30-50 on park snacks in hopes that you will be able to keep your kids happy in line for long enough to get to see the stage production of Frozen.
• ...and then someone will need to go potty during "Love is an Open Door," and you will be furious. Not just at the child but at the incompetent theater staff that has to escort you out, give you a return pass, and send you through an elevator because you are not allowed to walk down three steps in the dark.
• You will have moments of pure hatred toward mankind.

But, even with all of that, you might:

• See the pure joy and excitement on your children's faces as they recognize their favorite characters in the parade. 
• Drink the most amazingly chilled Coke of your life. 
• Watch a production of Frozen that is so incredible, even the two-year-old is engaged and attentive for the entire hour.
• See your little girls hold hands all the way through Pirates of the Caribbean.
• Stumble upon a live band and spend an hour dancing with your kids instead of going back to the hotel for the night. 
• Ride Splash Mountain four times in a row without having to get off because it's 8:30 on a Friday morning.
• Stay late with your son and ride Guardians of the Galaxy for the first time together.
• Hear your daughter gasp in awe and excitement at the things she sees in the shows and on the rides.
• Find a bench in the shade while your little one naps and spend some time sitting still and enjoying just being there.
• See your little girls in their matching Minnie Mouse hoodies and die from the cuteness.
• Catch Belle and the Beast riding the carousel.
• Run into someone you know but didn't know was going to be there.
• Experience all the feels when you remember the Disney characters and movies you loved as a child and you see or hear something that brings it all back.
• Cry when you leave.

Going to Disneyland isn't easy. Especially in a large group containing several small children. This was definitely one of our hardest vacations with kid management (I thought it would be easier NOT having a baby, but I forgot about the highly opinionated two and four-year-olds that were coming with us). It's one of those experiences, though, where the greater the horror, the greater the joy. I had moments where I thought, "This is worse than taking kids to church." But then I would swing to, "This is amazing!!!"

In the end, I can say that we worked hard and had a lot of fun!