September is Over (and ten other random TRUE facts)

 September Writing Challenge: Prompt #2:

Adjective

I can't believe September is ending. This month was really big. So much happened! Most significantly, the change in our ward boundaries. It's kind of a big deal for our area, and it's going to take us a while to get used to it. 

Here are some things that are true from the past month:

Fact #1: Sometimes my kids have tamales and Mt. Dew for breakfast

Fact #2: I forgot to take lettuce and tomatoes to a Labor Day BBQ, and I'm still not over it (I remembered the potato salad, though!)

Fact #3: Fisher Price released NSync Little People!

Fact #4: We found a bag of cotton candy in the garbage can at Lagoon... and we ate it.

Fact #5: Our backyard is still overrun with grasshoppers.

Fact #6: Despite how it looks in this photo, Eva seems to love haunted houses.

Fact #7: Nicky's favorite Homecoming Week activity is wearing a girl's cheer uniform and performing at the Powder Puff football game. 

Fact #8: Our garage, truck, and fence were vandalized this month (twice for the fence), so we've done a lot of painting. It's not a good feeling. 

Fact #9: Nicky found this autographed CD at the DI for $1 and bought it for me.

Fact #10: It's still pretty warm here (mid 80's), so we are seasonally confused which means we eat soup and watermelon for dinner. 

With that, the September Writing Challenge comes to an end. I was able to post every day this month, and some of my posts were way, hecka long, so if you actually read them, please treat yourself to a reward of your choice (use this as an excuse to get what you want. Pizza? Acceptable. Ninety-minute massage? Even better!) 

Renewal

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #14:

Renew

My mental and emotional health wasn’t very good over the summer, and even though I’m doing significantly better now, I’m still very much in recovery. Whenever I experience the return of depressive symptoms, I completely check out spiritually. As you know, I’m a religious person, but I confess, I spend a lot of time feeling completely numb in my faith. This scares me because I have seen the light go out of so many people, and I don’t want to lose mine! It’s hard to keep going when I’m mentally distressed, and society is hating on organized religion so heavily, and I’m constantly bombarded with messages of scrutiny toward my faith. I’m often tempted to look at my Church through a critical eye, but fortunately, despite the Church's flaws, I’m able to still see so much good in it.

A few weeks ago, our stake president (who works for the Church’s welfare department) told us about how he was able to get supplies from the Church on a military plane heading to Morocco after the earthquake at the drop a hat. He had about three hours notice. The things that happened to make that possible are miraculous, and I felt so honored to be a part of a Church that can do that (here is a brief overview of some of our Church's humanitarian programs). Stories like this keep me going. 

I confess, I’m struggling with prayer right now. I don’t do it as often or as fervently as I should. That’s one thing I really have a hard time with when I am in the depths of depression. It’s beyond an unwillingness to pray; I just can’t pray (read more about that here). The best I can usually do is say, “Heavenly Father, please accept this brief moment of no words as my prayer,” because my mind can’t do it. I’m just starting to be able to kind of pray again. It takes so much effort. There have been a few experiences I've had lately that have made me realize that I want my faith to be solid, so in my piddly prayers, I've been asking God to help me find a corner to grasp. I need to renew my testimony and get back on track spiritually.

The answer I feel I received was to study the words of our current prophet, Russell M. Nelson, and take note of what he (and only he) has been encouraging us to do. I felt strongly that I needed to shut out all other voices for a time (even the voices of other Church leaders), and just focus on the one who holds all the keys. For that course of study, I narrowed in on the prophet's addresses from the past three years. Here are four significant and repeated teachings I found (there are many more, but I was most drawn to these):

1. Hear Him - meaning Jesus Christ

"When we are surrounded by uncertainty and fear, what will help us the very most is to hear His Son" (source).

This includes:

-"fill[ing] our daily lives with His words, His teachings, His truths."

-figuring out how the Spirit communicates with us as individuals

-doing "whatever it takes to increase your spiritual capacity to receive personal revelation."

2. Be temporally prepared, but more so, spiritually and emotionally prepared

"If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" (D&C 38:30).

"...preparation is our key to embracing this dispensation and our future with faith... I urge you to take steps to be temporally prepared. But I am even more concerned about your spiritual and emotional preparation" (source).

The prophet taught three principles to help us with this preparation:

1. Create places of security - meaning making our homes, wards, and other places physically and spiritually "safe." "A place of security is anywhere you can feel the presence of the Holy Ghost and he guided by Him... and you can ponder sincere questions about the gospel in an environment of revelation."

2. Prepare your mind to be faithful to God

This includes:

- seeking "learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118)

- increasing faith by exercising faith 

- studying the Book of Mormon

- yoking ourselves (i.e. maintaining a partnership) with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ 

3. Never stop preparing 

 3. Treat everyone as Children of God - lead out in abandoning attitudes and actions of prejudice

"Each of us has a divine potential because each is a Child of God... I plead with you to promote respect for all of God's children" (source).

The prophet reiterated that:

- each person is equal in God's eyes

- God does not love one race more than another

- any kind of abuse is an abomination to the Lord (source). 

4. Let go of conflict, and be a peacemaker

"We call upon people everywhere to pray for those in need, to do what they can to help the distressed, and to seek the Lord's help in ending any major conflicts... His gospel is a gospel of peace" (source). 

"End conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life. Bury any and all inclinations to hurt others... I plead with you to do all you can to end personal conflicts that are currently raging in your hearts and in your lives" (source).

"I urge you to choose to be a peacemaker, now and always" (source).

President Nelson has encouraged us to:

- abandon faultfinding and evil speaking of others

- treat others with compassion

- replace contention with peace 

I fully admit that I don't "know" if there is a God, but I believe that there is. There are a lot of parts of my religion that don't make sense to me; however, I don't believe it all has to. I believe that if there is a God, there are going to be things about Him that I won't fully understand during my life on earth. I'm okay with that. So as I explore the teachings of my Church's prophet, I ask Does this man speak for God? Well, let me tell you something, even if he doesn’t, if everyone on this earth abided by the four teachings from our prophet that I mentioned above  - meaning we all sought to understand and live by the teachings of Jesus Christ (making us forgiving, loving, humble, and charitable - whether Christ is real or not), took care of ourselves temporally and spiritually and provided safe places for others to do the same, treated everyone as children of God (whether God is real or not), and abandoned conflict - most of this world's problems would be solved, and to me, that means something. If I live that way and in the end, my belief system was all a farce, my life will not have been wasted (and if there is no God, I'll never have to know because I will cease to exist when I die, and ignorance is bliss). 

That may be an unorthodox way of thinking, but it works for me.

For the last several years, I have kept a note on my phone where I jot down evidences I see of the reality of God. When I start to feel distanced from Him or to question his existence, I look at the things I have written, and I remember that I’ve experienced too many things to chalk it all up to coincidence. 

About ten years ago, I had a dream that I was sitting on the stand in the Conference Center (where our Church's semi-annual General Conference takes place) when someone walked into the venue and gave a signal and announced that people would be walking out in opposition of one of the teachings of the Church. I was immediately overcome with fear as I watched people I know and love stand up and walk out of the meeting in a mass exodus. I was shocked to see who was leaving, and I couldn't understand why they were making that choice. I felt like I needed to go with them - not because I agreed with them, but because I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't. Then I looked over and saw the prophet, who at the time, was Thomas S. Monson, seated in his chair, and I was overcome with peace, and I stayed.

That dream was far ahead of its time, but it's something I have come to remember and cling to. I will never have satisfactory answers to all of the questions I have in this life, and I will always wrestle in some way. But I'm still pretty darn sure that God is real, and right now, the prophet is my corner to grasp on to.

In addition to everything I have already discussed, I had another experience this week that felt guided by God. My friend, Julie, mentioned that she was listening to the book Prophets See Around Corners by Sheri Dew.

I had a fast and strong impression that I also needed to listen to this book, and that I needed to do it that day. I went home and downloaded it immediately, and I was pleased to find that it was relatively short, so at 1.75x speed, I listened to it and finished it before my kids got out of school. I won't go into a detailed description of the book (though I wish I could, but that is one of the downsides to audio - I don't have a highlighted copy ready to write an essay on), but I will say that this book helped me in my efforts to renew my testimony. It was also a great preparatory resource for General Conference, which happens to be this weekend.  

It's been weird few months, but I feel like I'm headed in a good direction spiritually. I have a lot of progress to make, but I know I can do it (I've done it over and over again). I'm engaging in a much needed spiritual renewal, and it feels good.

Teens and Things

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #24:

Communication

When I was in college, I took a lifespan development class and an adolescent development class. It makes me mad that I don't have perfect recall (my superhero trait of choice), and that I can't remember and summon every detail of everything I've learned. Now that I have teenagers in my house, I really wish I could remember more of what I learned in adolescent development. I have a lot of the materials still and could definitely go back and review, but I’m too busy squeezing lemons and chasing crickets through my house.

I recently got the e-book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. from the library. 

I found it to be a great review of adolescent development and a great reminder of what is going on in the minds and emotions of teenagers. I highly recommend this book to anyone currently raising teens or pre-teens (your ten and eleven-year-olds are already starting the hormone changes for puberty, so giddy up!)

But if you don't want to read it, here's a short cut for you. I'll share some of the things that I highlighted, most of which has to do with communication and emotions. 

Be curious and trusting with your teens

“When we show that we are curious about our adolescents’ feelings – especially around the topics they bring up – we invite them to treat their emotions as informative and trustworthy. Teenagers almost always rise to meet us when we treat them as the deeply insightful souls that they are” (page 9).

Emotions are a normal part of the human experience and are rarely harmful. The goal of a parent should be to teach children emotion regulation - not to keep them from experiencing emotions. 

“Remaining calm when teenagers become undone communicates the critical point that we are not frightened by their acute discomfort, and so they don’t need to be frightened by it either… Further, reminding ourselves that going through difficult experiences almost always helps our teens grow can make it easier for us to bear their distress. Finally, we should remember that, while emotions are sometimes painful, they are rarely harmful” (page 20).

There is a purpose for our teens unloading their hurt on us: they are externalizing, and it's healthy!

“Unloading painful feelings onto their parents is one of the many ways that teens manage their intense emotions. When they do this, our worries can really get going. But teens are usually sturdier than they seem” (page 26).

“If there’s one defense that teenagers specialize in, it’s what psychologists refer to as externalization. This defense is managing an unpleasant emotion by getting someone else (often a loving parent) to feel it instead… Think of externalization as handing off emotional trash. A teenager who no longer wants to carry around an unwanted feeling sometimes finds a way to dump it on a caring, but perhaps unsuspecting, adult… So, is externalization a healthy defense? Yes insofar as it buffers an adolescent’s distress without warping reality. When teens use externalization as a defense, they don’t deny the problem at hand or blame it on anyone else. They simply communicate about it in a way that leaves their parents feeling lousy. This may work well enough for the teenager, but there’s no question that it’s really not much fun to be the adult on the receiving end….” ( page 29-30).

“Externalizing a problem often helps a teen solve it” (page 30).

This is something I experience a lot with Daisy. It's a relief to recognize it in her and realize I don't have to carry those heavy emotions for her.  

It's okay to talk to your teens about suicide.

“Research shows that asking nonsuicidal teens about suicide does not leave them feeling worse, but for teens who are feeling suicidal, it relieves distress” (page 33).

She's moody because she knows she's safe. 

“Though your daughter’s stormy moods might unsettle your otherwise peaceful household, take comfort in the knowledge that she feels safe expressing her annoyance at home” (page 53).

“Adolescents can signal indifference to our advice and still take in what we’ve said. As the mother of two teenagers, I find that it works best for all involved if I receive their shrugs or eye rolls as a nonverbal way of saying ‘I heard you!’” (page 63).

Attention menfolk...

“Adult men need to make a point of asking boys about what’s going on inside and engaging in meaningful conversations about emotions. Instead of offering solutions to boys’ problems, they should treat the act of sharing painful experiences with a trustworthy person as a solution unto itself. Which it is. By normalizing the act of talking about feelings, men help boys view themselves as nuanced and multifaceted and send the message that discussing emotions is just part of what boys and men should do” (page 58).

Learn how to disagree productively.

“Research shows that learning to have healthy disagreements at home contributes to a teenager’s overall well-being and improves how they manage their relationships with others” (page 89).

One thing I do remember from my schooling is that successful marriages aren't about communication so much as how you handle repair attempts and recover from a fight or disagreement.  

When we worry about peer pressure and other alarming situations:

“Teens, by their nature, can sometimes find themselves in unexpectedly dangerous situations. Our teenagers are aware of this, and we’re more likely to keep the lines of communication open if we make it clear that we are aware of it too. ‘My hope is that you won’t drink,’ you might say, ‘but I am realistic about the fact that mistakes get made. Nothing matters more to me than your safety. The easiest way to stay safe is to stay sober. But if that doesn’t happen, I’m your safety plan… If you’re in a dicey situation, the last thing I want you to worry about is whether you could get caught. The main thing I want you to worry about is whether you could get hurt.’ From there, be clear that you will never, under any conditions, make your teen regret asking for your help” (page 93).

I remember when I was a young child, my step-sister came to my step-mom and told her that she had tried smoking. I thought, "Why would you ever confess that to a parent?" and then I observed as my step-mom had a long chat with my sister behind closed doors, and everyone came out later happy and mended. It was the most bizarre thing I'd ever witnessed in my life, but I knew right then that I wished for my future kids to have that much trust in me. 

 

Factors that help teens prepare for healthy romantic relationships:

“The healthiest relationships are the ones that layer amorous intimacy over genuine friendship” (page 100).

“As one insightful study found, it’s what’s happening in teens’ nonromantic relationships, not their adolescent dating experiences, that lays the groundwork for a happy adult romantic life” (page 105).

Putting feelings into words:

“Putting feelings into words brings emotional relief… we can only gain insight, and thus relief, when we move emotions from the realm of abstract experience to the realm of language and thought” (page 114).

“When we are actually faced with teens telling us just how very uneasy they are, we need to remember that their descriptions of their emotional pain - which may be vivid and dire-sounding – don’t add to their emotional distress but usually reduce it. It’s critical to remember that by the time teens are telling us that they feel anxious or angry or sad or any emotion that they choose to put into words, they’re already using an effective strategy for helping themselves cope with it” (page 116).

I've always joked that I find it healing to complain to the point of embarrassment because afterward, I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back to work. Turns out I'm just living science. 

They aren't usually looking for advice or solutions. They just need to get the feelings out. 

“Simply talking about feelings reduces their intensity, so let your teenager talk… see what happens if you just listen” (page 117).

“If you get little or nothing back, don’t despair. Teens, in my experience, do want to share what’s on their mind with their parents. But they usually want to engage on their terms, not ours” (page 127).

This is something I've learned over and over from so many sources. Teens (and people in general) just want to be heard. They're not looking for advice or solutions. If they want that, they'll ask. If they don't ask, just listen. If you struggle to listen, you can always ask, "Do you need any advice, or do you just want to talk?" Easier said than done! Especially when you know everything like I do (wink, wink). 

I haven't had a lot of time to implement what I learned from this book, but I have something to look forward to now! I can't wait for the next time my kids get emotional, and I'm a deer in the headlights trying to recall the book things. 

Garden Success

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #16:

Success

As we move into fall, I have to start cleaning my garden up a bit. There are a lot of articles circulating right now that encourage you to not clean up your garden for winter but to leave the plants until spring to provide a habitat for pollinators. To me, this sounds like a really good excuse to ignore my garden for the next six months. But in all honesty, I can’t leave it alone. If I wait to clean it up in the spring, it will be my undoing. That’s just too overwhelming for me. 

My yearly routine, come fall, is to pull out a few plants at a time over the span of several weeks to budget my garbage can space. I’m sorry, pollinators. You’re welcome to make my yard your winter home, but I’m not leaving any plant carcasses for you. Actually, that's not entirely true. The strawberry plants will still be there, and I usually have to leave the sunflower and cornstalk stumps through the winter because they are too hard to get out while they still have life in them. So there you go, pollinators; you can live in my sunflower stumps. 

As we near the end of gardening season, here are some of the successes we celebrate:

This was our first little harvest of the season. Strawberries and peas were sparse this go round, but we had a lot of cucumbers. 

We had plenty of zucchini and summer squash!

Here is the first cherry tomato of the year. We successfully grew cherry, roma, and celebrity tomatoes, and just yesterday I found some yellow pear tomatoes I planted from seed and didn't know they actually grew!

I was able to can some home-grown green beans. I think I got a few more pints in addition to this photo. 

We had a decent year for green peppers. This is the biggest one I've ever picked from our garden. We were quite proud of it. Sign us up for the State Fair!

We babied this crenshaw melon for months and finally picked it and cut it up for game night. It was a little too ripe, but it was still edible. We're just excited something actually came off the vine!

Some years we grow carrots, and some years we don't. This year we planted some and have just started eating them in the past week. 

Scotty planted a little potato garden (our first time growing potatoes), and that became his passion this summer - raising his little spuds. They've been great, and we will definitely do potatoes from hence forth. 

Last week I started picking our pumpkins. We had a good year for pumpkins! I harvested these porch goodies, and we have about five more still working on turning orange. 

It was a great year, and as always, we had our share or garden failures, too, but today is all about success! I can’t wait to try again next year!

My Watch List

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #5:

Watch

An incomplete list of things I've watched recently (or am still watching):

Virgin River Season 5.

(Status: not done yet)

Crikey! It's the Irwins

Just started this show about a week ago. It's a great one to watch with our kids. 

Still

I had to watch the Michael J Fox documentary! You know my history with Marty McFly. Plus, Michael J Fox is invited to my dinner party, and it's always good to be ready for dinner conversation. 

All of the My Big Fat Greek Weddings. 

Daisy and I watched the first two movies a few weeks ago, and then Christie and I went and saw the third in the theater the other day. 

Only Murders in the Building

Status: one episode behind (possibly two depending on when this post is published)

Church friends, do not watch this. It has lots of language!

Speaking of Steve Martin, I'm going to throw a musical in here:

We went and saw Bright Star (co-written by Steve Martin) at one of our local theatres last week. Now we only listen to bluegrass. 

(Review: Loved it!)

And speaking of things my Church friends shouldn't watch (going back to Only Murders in the Building - you have my permission to watch Bright Star)

The Last of Us

I shouldn't like this. But I do. There is something in me that is twisted and wrong.

(I have skipped over a few scenes, though).

And to end on a delightful note:

Gilmore Girls

Daisy has been watching it, and I occasionally join her for an episode or two. 

Things I intend to watch very soon:

NSYNC on Hot Ones

The Brittish Take Fan X

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #1:

Nerd Alert

Full disclosure: I included this prompt because I knew we would be going to Fan X this month. 

We decided to splurge a bit and take the whole family. Luckily, ages 10 & under are free because it cost a small fortune. Scotty and Nicky had been before, but the girls and I had never gone. I’ve always been curious, and as an enthusiastic people watcher, it seemed like a great place to go… um… judge people? 

I thought Fan X would have a lot of the following:

• Harry Potter
• Star Wars
• Lord of the Rings
• Mario Brothers, Zelda, & other video games
• Stranger things
• Nostalgic movies like Ghostbusters & Back to the Future
• Super heroes
• Minecraft
• Pokémon
• Doctor Who
• Board games & books

There was a little bit of all of that. But mostly it was anime. So much anime. And a lot of it was stuff I don’t want my kids to see - lots of p*rnographic manga artwork. Between that, the revealing costumes, and a bunch of people trying to hand us stuff while walking down the street, it felt a lot like Las Vegas. 

I didn’t know what 90% of the costumes were. I was kind of disappointed. Now that I’ve been, I don’t ever need to go again. 

BUT…

I looked forward to Fan X. Most of the cast of Back to the Future was there, and oh! How I wish I could have seen Michael J Fox - my first crush! I don’t need to ever meet him, but I would have liked to have seen him from a distance and checked that off my bucket list. Instead of seeing Michael J Fox, I saw the line leading to Michael J Fox and acknowledged the fact that Michael J Fox was technically in the same room as me. That’s good enough. We were *this close* to seeing Christopher Lloyd, but I wasn’t willing to wait around for him to show up. 

We did get to see these people - of whom I made a collage since photo taking is strictly prohibited unless you’re willing to fork over $80+. 

I was probably most excited about “Newman” and “Dean.” Daisy has been watching Gilmore Girls, and even though she won’t say it, I’m pretty sure she’s crushing on Dean. And it’s just nice to know that Wayne Knight hasn’t fallen completely from the earth. 

I wish I could have seen Pauly Shore. He had a strong presence in my childhood - “Hey, budddddyyyyy!” I can pretty much quote A Goofy Movie, Encino Man, and Son-In-Law from memory. His table was empty. 

Along with most of the cast of Back to the Future, there were several members of the cast of Scream. I loved Scream when I was younger and watched it all the time! All three original movies (I’m not proud). The only one who was scheduled while we were there was Neve Campbell, but Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, and Skeet Ulrich were also making appearances. Because of this, there were a lot of people dressed as ghostface. There were also a lot of Marty McFlys running around.

Therein lies my nerd alert. 

But really! There was just soooo much anime. 

So very much.

But let’s rewind to the time where I was excited to go to Fan X and didn’t know that it would be so heavily saturated in anime…

The night before the event, I decided I wanted to make costumes for my family. Last-minute costumes have been a trend in my life. I’ve been known to go to the DI on Halloween to buy components for a costume. Sometimes inspiration hits me late. On Thursday night, I started brainstorming ideas for family costumes. I came up with three options: Alice in Wonderland, Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder version), or Care Bears (Scotty would have been Grumpy Bear, for sure). It just depended on what pieces we could find at the DI on Friday morning. 

The DI opens at 9:00, so we rope dropped with the hoarders and started our hunt for costume elements. I sent every kid on a mission, and we had great success for our first choice of cosplay: Alice in Wonderland. 

Featured cosplayers:

Nicky as the Mad Hatter

Items purchased from DI: green shirt & yellowish overcoat (found in the women’s section) (crappy, old, moth-eaten men’s blazers were $20 at DI! Are you kidding me?) 

Items purchased from Hobby Lobby: soft felt (bow tie) and stiff felt (hat).

Items from home: green pants 

Daisy as Alice

Items purchased from DI: sexy Alice costume (removed apron), blue dress, white leggings, black boots.

 

Items purchased from Hobby Lobby: black headband

Zoe as the Cheshire Cat

Zoe, of all my kids, has the most ridiculous demands for her costumes. She likes to take a lot of creative liberties. I had to talk her out of several costume components that don’t suit the Cheshire Cat. She wanted to wear tie dyed pants and a bow tie (to name just a few of her requests), and I had to compromise with her because I wanted her to be recognizable at the Cheshire Cat. 

Items purchased from DI: baby Cheshire Cat costume (cut off skirt, which happened to fit Zoe) and pink jacket (one of our compromises)

Items purchased from Hobby Lobby: boa for tail, felt for ears and tail stripes, headband

Eva as the White Rabbit

I was planning on being the white rabbit (as an homage to my love of punctuality), but Eva wanted to be the white rabbit. 

Items purchased from DI: yellow dress, red overcoat (it had a hood, but I cut it off)

Items purchased from Hobby Lobby: headband, stiff felt for ears, soft felt for bow tie, white poofy ball for tail

Items from home: pocket watch, gray leggings

Britt as Tweedledee and Scotty as a playing card

After I surrendered the white rabbit to Eva, I decided to go for the Queen of Hearts. I had some costume pieces picked out (one of which was a plus-sized pirate shirt). I tried them on and had a plan for adding card suits and some gold bling, and then as I was leaving the dressing room, I saw a yellow waterfall cardigan that was the perfect shade of Tweedle. I quickly looked at red pants and found a pair of sweatpants. The combined cost of the two items was $6, whereas the Queen of Hearts costume pieces added up to $15, and I’d still have to buy additional items from Hobby Lobby to dress it up. Combine the savings with the fact that I’d choose sweatpants over a dress any day, and I was quickly converted to being a Tweedle!

Items purchased from DI: yellow cardigan and red pants.

Items purchased from Hobby Lobby: red hat, soft felt for collar, bow tie, and flag on top of the hat

Items from home: white shirt 

Scotty was at work and unavailable for a costume fitting, so we went with something easy to make and easy to size. I just bought a white tee from Hobby Lobby and stuck some felt on it.

I wasn’t sure how we would fit into the Fan X crowd with our costumes. We were definitely one of the more “wholesome” groups. We saw one person dressed as the Queen of Hearts and three other Mad Hatters. There was also one person in the same “sexy Alice” costume we had bought from DI. Other than that, Alice in Wonderland (and everything else Disney) definitely wasn’t a common occurrence at this year’s Fan X. I saw one Ariel, one Elsa, and one Peter Pan. Then there was a family dressed as the family from Onward, and their costumes were so good! Too bad no one really watches Onward… do they? 

We ended up staying at Fan X for about three hours. After we left, we walked over to the food court at City Creek and had dinner. Then we walked through the newly designed part of the plaza by the Church Office Building. We had to go the long way around the COB to get to the Conference Center where we parked. The farther away we got from the Salt Palace, the weirder we started to look. 

We stopped in the Conference Center to use the restrooms, and we talked to some of the missionaries. We were a bit of a spectacle at the Conference Center, but we thought, hey! We probably won’t be in cosplay at the Conference Center ever again, so we might as well live it up. 

After we left Fan X, I felt like I’d run a marathon! It felt so good to sit down and take of my hat (I don’t do hats), and it was nice to get away from the masses of people.

It’s cool to have gone once, but I don’t think I ever need to go to Fan X again. I think next time I’ll just park myself somewhere downtown and do some people watching without going in. I do enjoy seeing the costumes.

All the Hopping Things

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #32:

Animal

The other night I was in my living room after dark, and I could hear a cricket. It was really loud, so I opened the front door to see if I could find it. When I stepped out on the porch, I couldn’t hear it as well. I went back inside and closed the door, and the cricket became loud and rhythmic again. It almost sounded as if it were in the house. So, once again, I went outside and could barely hear it from the porch. I went back inside, and sure enough, I could hear the cricket as if it were right there in the room with me. I walked around the living room trying to figure out where the cricket might be. My best guess is that it was hidden somewhere in our jackets and backpacks that hang on a hook behind our front door. I shook all the bags and backpacks but never figured it out. 

I went upstairs and found Scotty (who was pretending to watch The Hobbit but was actually asleep in our bed) and told him that I thought there was a cricket in the house. 

Several years ago, we had a cricket in our house in the middle of the night. It traveled into our home via some basil my mother-in-law gave us. I remember it being such a long night trying to find that cricket to no avail. I was pregnant with Zoe and nearing my third trimester, and I was desperate for sleep! Our cat eventually got fed up with the cricket and took care of business, bless his soul. But now we have no cat, and therefore, no means to an end if a cricket gets in the house. 

Sleeping Scotty was mostly delusional and didn’t care about my news regarding the cricket. Eventually, the cricket wasn’t chirping anymore, and we kind of forgot about it and went to bed. Around 1 o’clock in the morning, I heard the cricket chirping again. Zoe came wandering in my room, saying, “Mom! There’s a cricket in my room. I think it’s in the stuffed animals.” I went into her room, and she was correct. The sound of the cricket was coming from the stuffed animal hammock hanging in the corner. There was a small wooden chair nearby, so I stood on the chair and tapped the stuffed animal hammock. The chirping stopped, and then after I waited for a minute, it started up again. One by one, I pulled every stuffed animal out of the hammock, and I couldn’t find the cricket. Even if I did, I don’t know what I would have been able to do about it. 

Scotty had gone down to the living room to sleep on the couch and wait for Nicky to get home from being out with friends. He eventually woke up and wandered upstairs. I told him that the cricket was now in the girls’ room. He went and got in bed and went to sleep. Clearly, he didn’t understand the seriousness of what was going on. There was no way my paranoid Zoe would ever go back to sleep until the cricket was formally removed. I hung out in her room a little longer,  and the cricket went silent. I hoped that Zoe had fallen back asleep, so I went back to bed, but then the cricket started chirping again, and Zoe immediately came into our room. Even though I had told him what was happening, Scotty hadn’t comprehended the situation. So when Zoe came in our room, he finally woke up all the way, and went to hunt down the cricket. 

By that time, the cricket had hopped out of the animal hammock and was hanging out on the wooden chair that I had been standing on while trying to find it. Scotty was able to find it and take care of it. When he came back to bed, he told me that it had been a very strange looking cricket, and that he had never seen one like that before. He then spent at least 30 minutes googling crickets until he found a picture of what had been in our house.

He believes it was a broad winged tree cricket.

And here I was thinking grasshoppers were our problem, but it seems to be a plethora of hopping creatures. 

What’s next? Kangaroos?

I have a lot to say about audiobooks

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #34:

Listening

I didn't used to listen to audiobooks, but as I've gotten older, I've become more a fan of them. In my younger years, I considered it "cheating," but now I have a different perspective. In my opinion, it takes more skills to listen to a book than to read a book. It requires a level of focus and attention that is not my forte. Therefore, it is most definitely not cheating! 

I hear comments from people all the time about how they can't listen to audiobooks because they get too distracted. Guess what! Me, too! I can't even tell you how many audiobooks I've finished and only understood 50% of what happened. I also can't tell you how many I've quit half-way through because the narrator suddenly mentions a character, and I go, "Who dat?"

So I get it.

But at the same time, I've also gotten absorbed into some wonderful audiobooks. I've had some pleasant surprises and some really great adventures. So despite having issues with focus and sometimes checking out mentally and losing my grip on what's going on, I still listen to audiobooks, and that's what I'm going to write about today. I'll tell you how I choose audiobooks, what sources I use to listen to them, some of my favorite audiobooks, and more. 

How I choose audiobooks

I don't have a set criteria for the audiobooks I listen to, but I have some preferences. I like to listen to books with a compelling storyline that holds my attention. Of course, I can't always predict whether a book will do that or not. I also like simpler listening (again, not always something I can predict). I steer away from science fiction, classic literature, and complex fantasy books because I'm not very likely to comprehend them via audio. 

A lot of my audiobook choosing is guess work. If I'm familiar with an author's work, I usually have an idea of whether I can listen to the book or not. The same can be said of the narrator. There are some excellent audiobook narrators out there. So the author and the narrator are a couple of factors I consider when choosing audiobooks. 

I get a lot of recommendations for audiobooks on Pinterest and through Goodreads. Sometimes I get recommendations from friends. Sometimes I just choose randomly and hope for a good turn out. It's definitely a "hit and miss" process, but I tend to have more hits than misses. 

(Read more about how I get book recommendations here).

Sources for audiobooks

I have a few different ways I listen to audiobooks. My main resource for audiobooks is the Libby app which I access through my library account. When signing into Libby for the first time, if your library works with Libby, you just select your library and enter your library card number and info. Using Libby is the electronic version of checking books out from the library. I can access audiobooks and e-books through Libby, and I utilize both (I used to be anti-e-book, too, but I have since changed my mind. It’s okay to change your mind about things). Through Libby, I can have 10 items on hold at a time, and I keep my holds stacked to the max. As soon as a book comes in, I download it (the equivalent of "checking it out") and put another book on hold.  

I utilize Audible off an on. Audible does a monthly membership allowing you one download per month. I sign up for Audible when they have a promotion - so across several years, I have gotten quite a few books for free, and I have had many opportunities to have a discounted membership (sometimes they offer things like four months at half price). The advantage of Audible is that you can get the book right away rather than waiting for it through the library. Once you've used your credits for the book, you own it. You can listen to it right away, or you can listen to it in five years. Even if you unsubscribe from your membership, you still own the audiobook and can listen to it through Audible. I got all of the Harry Potter audiobooks this way. Another nice thing about Audible is that you can return a book and get a new one if you don’t like it... unless you're me... because I returned too many, and then they flagged me and won't let me do it anymore. I returned so many that even I was wondering why they were still letting me swap books! Then I eventually got the notice that I was forbidden from hence forth!

Another app I use is Deseret Bookshelf +. I pay a monthly membership fee for this one, which allows me unlimited listening. There are also e-books available through this app. This is my resource for religious books. I try to listen to (or read) at least one faith-based book per month. 

There are a lot of sources out there that I haven't tried, but with these three options, I feel like I have plenty to listen to. 

Things I do while listening to audiobooks

One thing I really like about audiobooks is that I can listen to them while doing other things, whereas, with a paperback, I have to just read (that has its time and place, but it's nice to be able to "read" guilt free while I do my household tasks and such). 

Some things I do while listening to audiobooks are:

• Clean (dishes and laundry especially)
• Yard work
• Drive 
• Cook or bake (only if it’s something I’m really familiar with)
• Exercise (sometimes. Other times I need loud music)
• Eat lunch
• Play Wingspan (it took me a while to get to the point where I could do this)

I don't listen to books while I'm shopping or out in public. I've never felt good about having my hearing impaired while I'm in stores. Plus the store is too stimulating for me - I'd never be able to focus on an audiobook when there are meat markdowns to sift through, ice cream flavors to contemplate, and unit prices to calculate. 

I also don't listen to audiobooks around my kids very often because they won't have any of that nonsense! Every now and then I check out in the car while we are on a long drive, but on the daily, I only listen to audiobooks when they're not around. 

My dream is to be an audiobook listening family. I would love to experience some books together whilst driving across the nation to our various vacation destinations. Alas, my kids don't join me in my love of reading. We've had a few successes with Diary of a Wimpy Kid, but even that has come with a cost since someone always has to whine and cry and make everyone else miserable any time we try to have a positive family experience. I’m quite bitter about it.

Audiobooks I’ve enjoyed

I can’t write about audiobooks without giving a few recommendations, can I? 

But first, here’s what you should know about my book preferences: I don’t really do “light and fluffy.” I’m not a Hallmark romance kind of girl. I like to be disturbed. So keep that in mind any time I write about books. 

For audiobooks, I always recommend the Harry Potter books as a great starting place. These were some of the first audiobooks that held my interest. Jim Dale gives a fantastic performance and does a unique voice for every character. These books are so fun!

Other suggestions: The Hunger Games 

Even as an adult, I enjoy the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. They are the only audiobooks my whole family will listen to (though some of them won’t admit it). They’re also really short - about two hours - so they aren’t a huge commitment. They are hilarious and have some great gems for parents (oh, how I can relate to Greg’s mom!) The narrator is perfect for Greg, and you can listen to them in any order. 

Other suggestions: Al Capone Does My Shirts, The Wednesday Wars

Non-fiction can make for good listening when you’re a little distracted. Since there’s not really a plot to follow (other than in memoirs), you can check out mentally for a while and then come back and not feel like you have to rewind. My problem with listening to non-fiction is that I like to highlight a lot of information, and I can’t do that if I listen, so that’s my main downside. 

For true crime enthusiasts, I have enjoyed some of John Glatt’s books. The Doomsday Mother (about Lori Vallow) and The Lost Girls (about the abduction and captivity of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Gina DeJesus) were very interesting; however, I will throw out a content warning because these stories depict some of the worst in human beings, and some of the details will make you absolutely sick. 

A couple of memoirs I have enjoyed are When Breath Becomes Air and Unorthodox. 

A brief warning about Unorthodox - it does have some descriptive content regarding a sexual disorder and the difficulties the author experienced as she became sexually active. 

For historical fiction, one of my favorite audiobook experiences was listening to The Chilbury Ladies Choir. 

I’m a little self-conscious about this book because I have recommended it to so many people, and not one person has ever come back and said they read it and loved it. So I often wonder, is it as good as I thought it was, or did I just have a really abnormal listening experience?

I listened to this book while on vacation in Lake Tahoe, and I stayed up after everyone else fell asleep so I could listen. The audiobook has a full cast, meaning there is a different narrator for every character, and there is also some music incorporated throughout. It’s been eight years since I listened to it, so maybe I’m due to listen again, but I hesitate because I don’t want to taint my first experience by having a subpar second experience. 

Other recommendations: The Things We Cannot Say by Kristin Harmel and (almost) anything by Ruta Sepetys. I also recommend The Book Thief with the disclaimer that you need to read a physical copy first. The Book Thief has some formatting and illustrations that you need to experience, and then later you can listen to it and enjoy Allan Corduner’s slow, deep voice and British and German accents. And for those who don’t know, The Book Thief is a story told from the perspective of Death, a surprisingly deep and sympathetic character, which I have always thought is genius.  

This recommendation list has the potential to get very long, so I’m going to just throw out a few ideas and the call it good. I personally enjoy most of Jodi Picoult’s books. She has a way of making me squirmy with ethical questions and hard topics, and I like it! Kate Morton’s books are usually enjoyable and read by Caroline Lee, whom I like listening to, but they tend to be very long (Caroline Lee reads for several other authors as well. I enjoyed her reading of Wildflower Hill by Kimberly Freeman). I usually find thrillers to be great companions for household chores. They aren’t the most high quality literature, but they get me through a long cleaning session. Sometimes I listen to books from my childhood. One of my favorite books from elementary school was The Cay by Theodore Taylor. I remember reading along with the book on tape in my third grade class. I recently listened to it again along with the sequel, Timothy of the Cay. 

Even though I really like audiobooks, I’ve been in a bit of a listening rut lately. It happens. Sometimes my mind is too muddled to listen, and other times, I go through a spell of mediocre books. Right now, I’m experiencing both. But that’s okay, because I know at some point, the right book will cross my path. I can’t wait to find another good audiobook to be overly enthusiastic about!