Sunday Sentiments - Thoughts From the Bottom Rung

A few years ago, I had an experience that changed my entire spiritual existence. To explain it would require me to write many chapters. I started writing the story and decided it was just too much (for me and for you), so suffice it to say, a thing happened, and I've been different ever since. 

What I will say is that the change needed to happen - ultimately I think I will be better for it, but it has affected the way I live my faith, and sometimes I feel like I've had a setback that I won't ever recover from. I feel a bit like I slipped down the ladder. 

This week, I read a bit from The Divine Gift of Forgiveness by Elder Neil L. Andersen, and I found this quote that gave me a bit of hope: 

Even if you feel like you are at the very bottom of life's ladder, there is something you can do. You can look up. If all you can manage is to simply lift your eyes to Him, you have done something in an effort to return to Him. You will come to know that He "reaches [your] reaching." You may have a long climb, a steep climb, even a daunting climb, but looking up is an important step as you begin your journey forward... More important than where you are is the direction you face, and especially Whom you face. 

 

When I was in my early twenties, I read the book My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok. In the book, Asher went through a religious journey of his own. I don't know why, but the book had a huge impact on me, and my copy is full of notes and highlights. One quote that stood out strongly to me was this:

A man does not always remain at the same stage. He is always ascending and descending. When he reaches the top, he must concern himself with the probability that he will fall. When he reaches the bottom, he must strive once again to climb to the top. That is the nature of man. When the soul of a man is in his darkest night, he must strive constantly for new light. When one thinks there is only an end, that is when one must struggle for the new beginning.

My copy of Asher Lev

So if you, like me, find yourself in a different spot on the ladder than you think you should be or a different spot than you used to be, give yourself some grace. The Lord will meet us there and help us climb.

Sunday Sentiments - Likable Me

It’s been a while since I posted a Sunday Sentiment. Every week I have some sort of plan for what I might write, but I haven’t been able to fit it in. My Sundays have been brutal and frankly, unpleasant lately. 

It’s currently past 11:00 pm, and I’m going to do this! I’m going to post! It will probably be short, but that’s not a bad thing. I don’t know if anyone endures to the end during my lengthy ramblings (I have one in my draft folder about my CPAP machine, so get excited)!

I’ll just share a couple of quick thoughts. This week I listened to a podcast episode from Twenty Something called “The One Word That Saved His Life” which was shared by a friend of mine (so thanks, Friend. It was a really good episode!)

I’m actually shocked to see the title of the episode because I have no idea what the “one word” was. Now I feel like I need to go back and scan the transcript. Or maybe one of you dear readers could go listen and come back and tell me? Cuz that was not my takeaway at all!

Anyway, this episode is an interview with a man named Todd Sylvester. He tells his story of hitting rock bottom, and how he turned his life around. I won’t recount his story, but there was one thing that really stood out to me. There was a point in his life where he was prompted to perform a particular service for another person. After his first time engaging in this act of service, he realized he liked who he was when he was doing it. 

Those words, “I liked who I was,” really resonated with me. I have spent a lot of time feeling bad about myself and not liking myself. I’m especially struggling with these feelings right now, but I have experienced times when I’ve felt like Todd felt when he was serving someone else. I’ve had times when I liked who I was. In Todd’s case, it was a necessary experience to get himself on track to change his life. He needed to see a version of himself that he liked so he could know what he was capable of.

A few years ago, I was beating myself up over some of my character flaws. Let me have an honest moment here: sometimes I am mean. Sometimes I have a really rotten attitude, and I take it out on other people. Sometimes it’s hard for me to be nice - to the extent that, when I am being nice, I feel fake. I feel like people see right through me, and they know I’m not really a nice person. 

During some chats with God (which sometimes take the form of prayer, and other times consist of me “think yelling” at Him), I discussed the fact that I’m not a nice person, and that when I am being nice, I’m “masking.” I whined about it a bit (like I do), and then a thought came to me: “You have confused which one is the mask.” Then I realized that Nice Britt is who I really am. Mean Britt is actually the mask. I am mean when I feel insecure, scared, powerless, or overwhelmed. When I’m experiencing anxiety or depression. Or when I don’t know my place. That is the mask. It’s not who I really am.

When I am my truest self, I like who I am. 

Since listening to that podcast, I’ve been thinking a lot about what version of myself I really like. What moments have I been my best self? When have I really liked me? 

Definitely some of my most likable moments have involved service or other Christ-like actions. I like myself best when I’m being a disciple. I also like the creative, productive, social version of me, but she won’t come back til about November. 

One final thought from the podcast was this:

“The most delightful surprise in life is to suddenly recognize that there is nothing wrong with you.”

If you’re in a place right now (like me) where you are struggling with your self worth and constantly thinking about your shortcomings, mess around a bit with the idea that there’s nothing wrong with you! This is new to me, so I can’t say yet if it helped me overcome some of my negative thinking, but I’m trying to embrace it.

Now it’s past midnight, so it’s technically Monday (but I will gaslight you by changing the date and time when I post this). I have fallen asleep at least six times while typing this. I’ll definitely need to do a Monday morning proof reading because I’m not even sure what I’m typing right now. 

(Remember at the beginning of this post when I said it would probably be short? That was just me being silly).

Sunday Sentiments - Looking for Lagniappes

Last week I was able to listen to one of Nicky's former companions report on his mission from Oregon (what a fun perk of technology!) The program included a talk from a young woman who was leaving on her mission to Louisiana. Ironically, she lived in Louisiana as a child, so she would be returning to her former home to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ... but in Spanish!

I loved this sister's talk! I learned something kind of fun from her. In Louisiana (and nearby regions) there is a commonly used creole word - lagniappe (LAN-yap) - which means "a little something extra." It is used to describe a small gift or bonus, usually given at a time of purchase.

As we strive to obey the commandments and follow our Savior, I believe we are frequently sprinkled with "a little something extra." Lagniappes from the Lord, if you will. A lagniappe is offered by the vendor - it isn't usually requested. Likewise, there are blessings we pray for and desperately need, but then there are the ones we don't ask for. They are delightful, little surprises we don't expect! Indeed, "a little something extra." 

I've written before about my testimony of tithing. I can't explain it logically, but tithing just... works. Somehow it brings forth the lagniappes. I've also had similar experiences with some Church assignments. As I have given my best efforts to various Church callings, I've received lagniappes like multiplied talents and sacred experiences. 

Now that I have a word for it, I'll be looking for more lagniappes from the Lord - those little surprise blessings. something extra I didn’t even know I needed! I only hope I don't have to continue trying to spell it. 

Actual footage of me discovering another lagniappe

Sunday Sentiments - Glory in My Jesus

Today in Relief Society (the women's class at my Church) we discussed the talk "I Glory in My Jesus" by Elder Aaron T. Hall. I missed most of the lesson because I did singing time in primary, but I studied the lesson at home this week and snuck in the class for the last few minutes. 

In the talk, Elder Hall shared a scripture from Nephi's closing words in the Book of Mormon in which Nephi stated, "I glory in my Jesus." There are two parts to this line that stand out to me: 

First, to "glory." When the word "glory" is used as a verb, it means to rejoice proudly, exult, or take great delight in something. So Nephi was saying that he takes great delight in Jesus Christ, but the second part to that is Nephi referring to the Savior as "my Jesus." 

Artwork by Malory Fiso

This made me think about whether we as individuals can (or should) have our own image of Jesus, His character, and who He is. Is it better for us to have a collective understanding of who Christ is or to have our own perceptions and ideas of who He is? I think there is good to both scenarios. On one hand, it is good to have an accurate and doctrinely sound understanding of His mission and His teachings. But there is also goodness in connecting to certain parts of His character that reach our individual hearts. I thought about this in terms of people I know in this life. I have my version of everyone I interact with. Let's say I have best friend named Betty (shouldn't everyone have a Best Friend Betty?). My experiences with her shape how I describe her. I may see parts of Betty that no one else sees, or there may be aspects of her personality that stand out to me more than others. No one else will see or interpret Betty the way I do, though there may be plenty of overlap. I will always have my version of Betty based on my unique observations and experiences with her. Likewise, I have my Nicky or my Daisy or my grandma or my Mrs. Patterson (I figured I'd throw my third grade teacher in there. Why not?)

Just as my perception of a person is unique based on our experiences together, I can have my Jesus. We can each have our Jesus and glory in that Jesus. 

In Elder Hall's talk, he shared some more of Nephi's words regarding his Jesus. Nephi mentioned that Jesus Christ had been his support, had led him through afflictions, had preserved him, and had filled him with His love. When I read that, I thought, THAT is Nephi's Jesus!

Later in the talk, Elder Hall shared many of the aspects of Christ that he glories in, and I thought, THAT is Elder Hall's Jesus!

Then there was a quote from President Oaks about Christ, and I thought, THAT is President Oaks' Jesus!

Of course it's all the same Jesus, but each person focused on something meaningful to glory over in regards to their Savior.

This has me thinking more about my Jesus. What are the parts of Christ that I need the most in my personal journey, and what does that make Him for me? I’ve always struggled to develop a relationship with Christ. I have a bit of a personal stumbling block that I haven't been able to pray or study myself out of yet, but I'm always working on it, and I'm always listening for the answer that helps me move past it. Hopefully someday I'll have a better idea of who my Jesus is. 

Sunday Sentiments - Given a Goliath

I have a graphic saved on Pinterest that says, "When God wanted to make a king out of David, He didn't give him a crown - he gave him Goliath. Your challenges prepare you for your purpose."

I recently read a book called Good Morning Monster which is a memoir written by a therapist named Catherine Gildener (I have a post in my drafts folder about some of the books I've read lately, so stay tuned for that). 

In the book, the author writes about five patients she worked with during her career that had a profound impact on her. One of the patients was named "Peter" (I think she used pseudonyms), and he was severely abused as a child. He was isolated and locked in an attic for much of his upbringing. During that time, he played with a toy piano and discovered that he had an amazing gift for music. In adulthood, he was a prestigious pianist. 

In one of their sessions. Dr. Gildener asked Peter if he would change his childhood if he could. Peter had realized that if he hadn't suffered the abuse and been locked away, he wouldn't have found the piano, and he wouldn't have discovered and honed in on his gift for creating music. 

This, of course, doesn't make the mistreatment okay or justified, but it's an example of rising above horrible circumstances. 

I keep thinking about this because I'm sure there are examples from my own life where a challenge has prepared me for a purpose. My brain just hasn't been able to deep dive on it yet because this week was INSANE (five dance concerts! FIVE!!! And we're not even that kind of dance people!)

I just wanted to throw this out there this Sabbath Day as something to think about. Has there been adversity in your life that prepared you for a purpose? 

(I'll be contemplating mine) 

Sunday Sentiments - Hell Shakers

As women and mothers, we are so prone to feelings of inadequacy. We compare ourselves to others, and we tend to be really hard on ourselves. It's so easy to feel like we aren't good enough, strong enough, or capable enough, especially when the standards we set for ourselves are so high. Young mothers tend to fear that they're doing everything wrong. Older mothers tend to look back and wonder if they should have done things differently.

Several years ago I was having a Bad Mom day. I couldn't figure out how I would ever succeed at raising my children. It seemed like no matter how much I was doing, it wasn't enough. There were so many things I was overlooking in raising my kids. Too much was falling through the cracks - How was I supposed to raise them to be good humans?

And potty train them?

And teach them to have work ethic and how to do their taxes? 

And help them get into college?

And validate their feelings?

 

And promote their mental, physical, and spiritual health?

And, along with everything else, get them to wear stinkin' sunscreen?

As I sat on the couch in my vulnerability, a scripture from the Book of Mormon came to mind:

"...If all men had been, and were, and ever would be like unto Moroni, behold the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17)

Then the Spirit posed a question: If all mothers were like unto you, how would that be?

And my immediate response was Are you kidding me?!? That would be horrible!!

And this is mean! 

But then I realized that I take pretty good care of my kids. I keep them fed and clothed. I tell them I love them. I don't abuse them. I do everything I can to watch out for their well-being, to show them my love and support, and to identify their unspoken needs. I make a lot of mistakes, and I'm nowhere near perfect, but if I were the worst-case scenario - meaning that all other mothers were the same or better than me - this world might be a pretty decent place. 

Does that shake the very powers of hell? Actually, yes, it does. With or without sunscreen.

So now I try to not be so hard on myself, and I've had some years to practice. I still face Mom Guilt sometimes - I don't think that's something I can completely eradicate - but I try to acknowledge the things I do well and give myself some grace. Motherhood is an imperfect work and often feels like a weird experiment, but there are a million ways to get it right.

Sunday Sentiments - Temperance

This week I studied the talk, “Adorned with the Virtue of Temperance” by Ulisses Soares, and it was much needed. Just the other day, in my prayers, I expressed to Heavenly Father that I need some help loving His children as I am not finding it easy to enjoy my fellow earth dwellers as of late. I’ve been feeling annoyed, appalled, and impatient with many a human being. 

In October’s General Conference, Elder Soares taught the following about temperance:

-Temperance is an essential trait in becoming like Jesus Christ

-Temperance protects us against spiritual erosion

-Christ exhibited temperance in all aspects of His character

-Other attributes and virtues are harmonized and strengthened by temperance

Though I’ve heard the words “temperate” and “temperance” throughout my life, I have to confess, I didn’t actually know what they meant. Contextual clues placed me on the right path, but I figured it would do me some good to learn a little more about the meaning of temperance. 

Temperance is essentially moderation in all things. It is voluntary self-restraint and emotional balance. A person who is temperate is able to avoid extremes and manage their desires and behaviors. 

The apostle Paul taught that those who desire to be like the Savior should be “not selfwilled, not soon angry,... [and] no striker” (Titus 1:7). Elder Soares explained that:

- “Not selfwilled” means to refuse to act with arrogance or pride

- “Not soon angry” means to avoid the natural urge to be impatient or angry

- “No striker” means to reject aggressive or harsh behavior

(Oh, hey! Three things I struggle with. And now I have a new vocabulary term to describe my frustration with my fellow mortals. I am “soon angry!”)

Elder Soares said:

Oftentimes, the world exalts behaviors born of aggressiveness, arrogance, impatience, and excessiveness, often justifying such attitudes by the pressures of daily life and the inclination toward validation and popularity. When we turn our gaze away from the virtue of temperance and ignore the gentle and moderating influence of the Holy Spirit in our way of acting and speaking, we easily fall into the enemy’s trap, which inevitably leads us to utter words and adopt attitudes we will deeply regret, whether in our social, family, or even ecclesiastical relationships. The gospel of Jesus Christ invites us to exercise this virtue especially in times of challenge, for it is precisely on these occasions that the true character of an individual is revealed.

We definitely live in a world that expects us to showcase our anger and frustration, and I admit, there are times where I just want to explode at a person… and I have (and I always feel very foolish afterward). In times when I have exhibited temperance, I’ve had a much better outcome. I can’t think of a time when I have acted aggressively or impulsively and had a long-term positive result. 

Temperance is known as one of the four cardinal virtues - cardinal meaning of high importance - in philosophical traditions. Some believe it to be the most important virtue. The other three are:

-Prudence: using wisdom and discernment. Being able to weigh consequences and make good decisions

-Justice: fairness, giving others their rightful due

-Fortitude: having courage, overcoming fear, being able to confront uncertainty and intimidation

Some believe these four are the virtues on which all other virtues hinge. 

Elder Soares taught that “Temperance harmonizes and strengthens other Christlike attributes… humility, faith, hope, charity, and the pure love that flows from Him.”

As we moderate ourselves and act with spiritual wisdom, we build upon other virtues and practices that make us more like Jesus Christ. The scriptures are full of examples of Christ’s temperate actions. Elder Soares promised that if we strive to cultivate temperance, we will become, “better capable of restraining anger, nurturing patience, and treating others with tolerance, respect, and dignity, even when the winds of adversity blow freely.”

So I guess I need a dose of that. 

Sunday Sentiments

I'm a bit spiritually defunct right now, but I'm trying to push through and continue studying the gospel regularly (I can't say "daily," but I can at least say most days). 

This week the Come Follow Me lesson prompts us to think about "gathering manna." What are the things we do every day to find spiritual nourishment?

Remember the Del Parson painting with Christ at the door?

There is no knob, so all Christ can do is knock, and it is up to the person on the other side of the door to open it.

For me, even when I feel spiritually "down" (as I am now), I know that if I keep doing the daily practices that leave the door open, eventually Christ will come in. Sometimes I feel like I’m faking it, and I don’t like that, but so far my success rate of making it through is 100%.

About ten years ago, there was a lot of buzz among members of my faith around the book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light. The book is a collection of letters that Mother Teresa wrote in which she expressed her own feelings of spiritual darkness.

For Mother Teresa, as soon as she began doing the work that she felt Christ called her to do, she stopped feeling Him near. She longed, more than anything, to have a relationship with God, but for over fifty years, she struggled to feel Him near (read a little more about Mother Teresa's story here).

Isn't it interesting how these things happen during crucial points of our lives? 

The lesson this week links to a talk by President Uchtdorf called "Daily Restoration."  In President Uchtorf's talk, he reminds us of the importance of small and simple acts of realignment. He says it is an ongoing process. It is normal to veer off course from time to time and need to redirect ourselves. I personally feel like I’ve had the best learning experiences while trying to come out of my spiritual droughts. One result of such experiences is that I no longer beat myself up for them. I used to be so hard on myself if I wasn’t feeling regular doses of the Spirit, but now I’ve learned to give myself grace and a little bit of time. President Uchtdorf taught that striving for “daily restoration… is how we become true disciples of our Savior, Jesus Christ.” 

I’ve found that pushing through times of spiritual struggle has helped me understand people better and overcome some of my own unhealthy ways of thinking. Hopefully, as President Uchtdorf stated, it truly does help me become a better follower of Christ. 

Sunday Sentiments: Jesus the Christ

 In 2020, I set (and met) the goal to read Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage. 

As Easter approached, I went back through my notes and highlights from Jesus the Christ to see what stood out to me about Christ’s character during that reading; specifically His attributes, His behavior, and the way He treated* others.

(Let me just interject a plug here for the digital resources on the Gospel Library app. There are definitely some kinks (I submit feedback all the time), but I really love the ease of marking and adding notes as I study. I enjoy going back and reading the thoughts and ideas I jotted down during previous study sessions, and I often copy and paste quotes from Conferences and other teachings into my scriptures. It's just a whole lot of fun! Plus, you can use all sorts of colors and make things pretty!)

Here are some of the things I marked in the book (I’ll include the chapters where the quotes are from. Unfortunately, the digital copy doesn’t show the page numbers - I'll submit feedback):

Christ had the attributes of God and man and met the qualifications to be the Redeemer. 

Jesus Christ was the only Being suited to the requirements of the great sacrifice:

1—As the one and only sinless Man;

2—As the Only Begotten of the Father and therefore the only Being born to earth possessing in their fulness the attributes of both Godhood and manhood;

3—As the One who had been chosen in the heavens and foreordained to this service… (chapter 3)

These attributes are what made Him eligible to provide the Atonement for us. 

He gave His life for us willingly. 

It’s important to understand that Jesus Christ had a choice. Our omniscient God knew the choice that Christ would make, but God’s knowledge of that choice doesn’t diminish the agency that was involved. The Savior willingly died for our sins. 

…He voluntarily surrendered His life, and permitted His own decease through an act of will. Born of a mortal mother He inherited the capacity to die; begotten by an immortal Sire He possessed as a heritage the power to withstand death indefinitely (chapter 3).

Christ had to come to earth to obtain a physical body. As a resurrected being, He now has all the essential characteristics of the Father.

During that antemortal period there was essential difference between the Father and the Son, in that the former had already passed through the experiences of mortal life, including death and resurrection, and was therefore a Being possessed of a perfect, immortalized body of flesh and bones, while the Son was yet unembodied. Through His death and subsequent resurrection Jesus the Christ is today a Being like unto the Father in all essential characteristics (chapter 4).

I don’t know if we realize that having a body makes us more like God. It’s no wonder Satan would have us abuse our bodies, neglect them, and hate them. Even our Savior had to take this step of receiving a body to become more like the Father. We are truly blessed to have mortal tabernacles.

Jesus Christ learned line upon line, precept upon precept. 

I think we sometimes assume that Christ knew all during His mortal existence, but He experienced gradual knowledge and understanding over time just as we do. Even His comprehension of His mortal mission was developed throughout His lifetime.

Christ’s realization that He was the chosen and foreordained Messiah came to Him gradually. As shown by His words to His mother on the occasion of the memorable interview with the doctors in the temple courts, He knew, when but a Boy of twelve years, that in a particular and personal sense He was the Son of God; yet it is evident that a comprehension of the full purport of His earthly mission developed within Him only as He progressed step by step in wisdom. His acknowledgment by the Father, and the continued companionship of the Holy Ghost, opened His soul to the glorious fact of His divinity (chapter 10).

He was capable of sin. 

It wasn’t an inability to sin that kept Him sinless. He had every bit of agency God’s children are entitled to. 

Our Lord was sinless yet peccable; He had the capacity, the ability to sin had He willed so to do… The writer of the epistle to the Hebrews expressly taught that Christ was peccable, in that He was tempted “in all points” as are the rest of mankind (chapter 10). 

(Side note: my digital copy of Jesus the Christ is full of word definitions I had to look up. While reading it, I would sometimes think, “Okay, Brother Talmage, did you really use these words in 1908, or were you just showing off?”)

Christ’s body was subject to mortal conditions, but He cared for His body and was healthy.

In recounting Christ’s calming of the sea, Talmage wrote:

Jesus found a resting place near the stern of the ship and soon fell asleep. A great storm arose; and still He slept. The circumstance is instructive as it evidences at once the reality of the physical attributes of Christ, and the healthy, normal condition of His body. He was subject to fatigue and bodily exhaustion from other causes, as are all men; without food He grew hungry; without drink He thirsted; by labor He became weary. The fact that after a day of strenuous effort He could calmly sleep, even amidst the turmoil of a tempest, indicates an unimpaired nervous system and a good state of health. Nowhere do we find record of Jesus having been ill. He lived according to the laws of health, yet never allowed the body to rule the spirit; and His daily activities, which were of a kind to make heavy demands on both physical and mental energy, were met with no symptoms of nervous collapse nor of functional disturbance. Sleep after toil is natural and necessary. The day’s work done, Jesus slept (chapter 20).

The Savior heals in phases. 

This is something I noticed about the story of the ten lepers. Traditionally that story is taught as a tale of ingratitude, for only one of the ten returned to Christ to thank Him for the healing. But in addition to that, the story illustrates how Christ doesn’t necessarily heal all at once. The lepers were offered physical healing, but the one who returned to thank the Lord was given additional spiritual healing as Jesus pronounced, “Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole” (Luke 17:19).

Talmage shared another example: 

A blind man was brought, and Jesus was asked to touch him. He took the sightless one by the hand, led him outside the town, applied saliva to his eyes, laid hands upon him in a ministration, and asked him if he could see. The man answered that he saw dimly, but was unable to distinguish men from trees. Applying His hands to the man’s eyes, Jesus told him to look up; the man did so and saw clearly… This miracle presents the unique feature of Jesus healing a person by stages; the result of the first ministration was but a partial recovery (chapter 22).

 Christ was truly selfless.

After Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights, Satan tempted Him to use His power to obtain food, but He would not. In fact:

… we find no instance of a miracle wrought by the Lord for personal gain or relief of His own need, however pressing (chapter 24).

 

I confess I have a very imperfect relationship with Jesus Christ. There's a lot I don't understand about His sacrifice and the necessity for a Savior. But I am ever learning and striving for greater knowledge of spiritual things. I look forward to studying more about our Redeemer this year.

*I’ve really struggled with tense in this post. I’ve gone back and forth between present tense and past tense. Mortality and eternity make for difficult grammar choices! Haha!

 

Sunday Sentiments: Teachings of the Living Prophets

We had a busy weekend, and I wasn’t able to get this post finished on Sunday. I wanted to make sure I posted it before General Conference, so here are my Sunday thoughts… on Thursday…

—————

When I was finishing my degree, I took a class called Teachings of the Living Prophets. In that class, I came to better understand that the primary role of the prophet and the apostles is to testify of Jesus Christ. 

Joseph F. Smith taught that "These twelve disciples of Christ are supposed to be eye and ear witnesses of the divine mission of Jesus Christ... they must know, they must get the knowledge for themselves. It must be with them as though they had seen with their eyes and heard with their ears and they know the truth. That is their mission, to testify of Jesus Christ..." (in Conference Report, Apr. 1916, 6).

Since taking that class, I listen more carefully to what the prophets and apostles say about Jesus Christ. Typically at the close of their Conference addresses, they will make a final statement about Jesus Christ. Sometimes when I go back and study the most recent Conference talks, I will flip through the Liahona (or, more likely, scroll through my phone) and read the closing paragraph from each apostle looking for their witness of Christ while keeping in mind that they must have this testimony with them as if they have seen with their eyes and heard with their ears. Here are what a few of them said in our last General Conference:

“I bear testimony of Jesus Christ, who is the Prince of Peace, the Son of the living God.” -Elder Stevenson

“Jesus Christ is the Author and Finisher of our faith, writing countless new chapters with us. He is the Beginning and the End—the end of our shame and suffering and the beginning of a new life in Him, letting us receive His grace, leave the past behind, and begin again with a new dawn, as many times as we need.” -Elder Kearon

“I testify of the love, the mercy, and the grace of our Savior and Redeemer. He lives. We are His; we are children of the covenant. As we believe in Him, follow Him, and trust Him, He will lift us from our sorrows and our sins. Then, beyond this mortal life, in our Father’s house, we will live with Him forever and ever.” -Elder Andersen

“I testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is our strength, our Redeemer, our hope. If we trust Him, He will make our spiritual power equal to every trial we are called to bear.” -President Eyring

“I joyfully witness that Jesus Christ is our living Savior.” -Elder Bednar

“I bear my sure and certain witness that Jesus Christ lives and because of His Atonement, we can be one with Him.” -Elder Cook

“He lives. I absolutely know it. He loves you. He gave His life for you. He pleads with you to come unto the Father through Him.” -Elder Renlund

“I testify of the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the Only Begotten Son of God, our Eternal Father.”-President Oaks

Sometimes Conference is hard for me because I listen with the ears of the world, but there are a few things I’ve started doing to help keep my heart in the right place:

-Listen with faith instead of fear.

-Focus on sparks of truth - a little nudges from the Holy Ghost that say, “You know this is true!”

-Listen for the things I’m already doing right rather than the things I’m doing wrong (pay attention to inspiration instead of guilt).

-Focus on how the speakers witness of Christ.

-Take a break from social media

In a few days, the apostles will bear witness again - fulfilling their primary responsibility to testify of Jesus Christ. I look forward to feeling the Spirit as I hear snippets of truth and reassurance. 

Sunday Sentiments: Cheering for One Another

We are just short of two weeks away from General Conference. Time flies in between Conferences now that I’m a real life grown up. We were talking to Nicky about it last week, saying, “Can you believe this will be your second General Conference on the mission?” It’s also crazy to think that it’s been six months since President Nelson passed away.

One of my favorite talks from October’s General Conference was “Cheering Each Other On,” by Sister Dennis.

Simply put, her message was that we all need to have a sense of belonging and purpose, and we all experience silent struggles, thus, we all need to “cheer each other on in our journey of discipleship no matter our circumstances.”

Cheering each other on can happen in a lot of different ways. It might mean complimenting someone, expressing gratitude, or giving words of encouragement. It might mean offering a seat or lending a listening ear. And it definitely means showing genuine happiness for the successes and good news of others. 

When I was working on my practicum for school, I came across some research by social psychologists that showed that good relationships are not distinguished by how we respond to each other's disappointments and hardships but by how we respond to one another's good news. Good fortune for others can bring feelings of envy or competition, so we need to be careful about how we respond when something good is going on in the life of another person. 

There are four ways we typically respond to someone else's good news:

1. Active-Constructive

This is giving an enthusiastic and sincere reaction. "That's amazing news! I'm so happy for you. Tell me more..."

2. Passive-Constructive

This is giving a silent or modest support response. "That's cool."

3. Active-Destructive

This response downplays the importance of the news or brings attention to the potential problems. "You bought a new house? I guess you won't be retiring anytime soon."

4. Passive-Destructive

This is being uninterested, ignoring the news, or turning the focus back on yourself. "Well, I got a new job offer this week!"

We've probably all experienced each of these responses from both sides. 

If we are truly cheering each other on, we will give an active-constructive response when good things happen to other people. We can do this by:

• Paying attention
• Asking lots of questions
• Celebrating (when appropriate)
• Sharing the news with others (when appropriate)

I, personally, am not naturally good at this, and it's something I'm always trying to improve on. But I have some friends who are very good at it, so I'm always excited to share good news with them because they are so genuine in welcoming my joy. It's such a good feeling to have people cheering you on. I hope I can get better at creating that feeling for others. 

Sister Dennis said that it "takes great courage for some of [us] to to step into the arena of life everyday, knowing [we] may be judged unfairly even though [we're] doing the best [we] can against daunting odds..."

Sometimes we forget that when others have good fortune or when something looks like it comes easy to someone, there are still hard things going on behind the scenes. 

She continued, "it is a basic human need for all of us to feel a sense of belonging, to feel that we are wanted and needed and that our lives have purpose and meaning, no matter our circumstances or limitations."

As we navigate the hard things in life, it's always nice to have someone rooting for us. I really liked Sister Dennis' message and want to try to be better at cheering others on - remembering that we're all just trying our best, and we can boost one another through encouragement and love.  

Sunday Sentiments

This year in our Church curriculum we are studying the Old Testament. I always struggle with the Old Testament because I look at it through an eye of presentism. I know all the platitudes - "things were different back then," "study it symbolically instead of historically," "we don't know the whole story," - but I've never been able to shake the deception, the bigamy, or the mistreatment of women in the OT. I can't help it - I get angry. But every four years when the Old Testament comes around, I try. So for 2026, I promise, I'm trying. But I'm still angry. 

Frances Taylor Gench, Presbyterian minister, said, “Biblical texts . . . do not exist to make us comfortable. They exist to make us think, to be engaged by God, and to effect our transformation.” Okay, fine, I’ll keep trying to figure it out. 

In this week's chunk of reading, we learn that Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, was "defiled" (raped) by Shechem, the son of the local ruler. There is a lot missing from this story, but Shechem seems to objectify Dinah not only by sexually assaulting her but by trying to take possession of her. In the end, Dinah's brothers, Simeon and Levi, kill a bunch of dudes including Shechem and his father. Then the bible moves on to technicolor dream coats and leaves us with a whole lot of plot holes (Genesis 34). 

Depiction of the rape of Dinah

Simeon and Levi killing the people of Schechem

This story of Dinah is not included in the Come Follow Me manual for the week, but it was addressed in a podcast episode I listened to (found here). I felt drawn to this story and to some of the things shared in that podcast, so a lot of this post is going to parallel that episode. However, let us first rewind to November 2025 when I last taught Relief Society. 

I was assigned to teach from two talks from the October 2025 General Conference: The Family Proclamation - Words From God by Elder Rasband and The Family-Centered Gospel of Jesus Christ by President Oaks. Now, marriage and family as a topic is kind of my thing, and this was one rare time when I was able to teach “my thing.” While earning my marriage and family degree, I took an entire class on the Proclamation, and I know my stuff. But, in knowing my stuff, I’m very aware of how delicate a topic it can be for many people, so as I planned the lesson, I prepared for the various directions the discussion could go including the topic of abuse. After all, the Proclamation boldly states, “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.”

The topic of abuse didn’t come up during the lesson, but I was ready for it. I studied the Church’s policies and teachings thoroughly, and I knew the Spirit would give me utterance if needed. I would love to share a slew of information about the Church’s stance on abuse here, but I already know this post is going to be a long one, so I will keep it to two short quotes:

1.

“If you have experienced any kind of abuse, violence, or oppression, you may be left with the idea that these events were somehow your fault and that you deserve to carry the shame and guilt you feel…The abuse was not, is not, and never will be your fault, no matter what the abuser or anyone else may have said to the contrary. When you have been a victim of cruelty, incest, or any other perversion, you are not the one who needs to repent; you are not responsible.” 

2.

“There is no place for any kind of abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal—in any home, any country, or any culture. Nothing a wife, child, or husband might do or say makes them ‘deserve’ to be beaten. No one, in any country or culture, is ever ‘asking for’ aggression or violence from someone else in authority or by someone who is bigger and stronger.

Those who abuse and who seek to hide their grievous sins may get away with it for a time. But the Lord, who sees all, knows the deeds and the thoughts and intents of the heart. He is a God of justice, and His divine justice will be served.”

(See “He is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerers” by Elder Kearon). 

The tragic reality is, abuse in all its forms is far too common, and it’s not talked about enough. The older I get, the more I learn of people I know and love having suffered abuse throughout their lifetimes, so no wonder it’s in the scriptures. It’s a plague as old as time. 

In the podcast I mentioned earlier, the host, John Hilton, shared some excerpts from a publication by Dr. Amy Easton-Flake (assistant professor of ancient scripture at BYU) entitled “Recognizing Responsibility and Standing with Victims” (you can read it here, but it’s a 30-page scholarly essay, so I’ll give you a couple of highlights). 

Dr. Easton encourages us to call abuse what it is. She writes, “Although we may be understandably uncomfortable using disturbing terms such as rape and abuse and may prefer to use terms such as defiled and mistreated, it is important for us to accurately label these events. Failing to do so prevents us from recognizing the horrors that occurred anciently and more importantly from acknowledging the horrors that still occur today. Using more euphemistic terms is part of the culture of silence that enables atrocities to continue.”

She also explains why she believes it’s beneficial to discuss stories like Dinah’s, “These texts create a biblically sanctioned space to name and discuss abuse within a church setting, and it may give individuals the freedom and space they need to share their own stories and then to work toward recovery. Silence enables the continuation of abuse. Consequently, among the great benefits of feminist scholars’ biblical interpretations is that their productive readings of dismaying texts help us to openly discuss modern challenges such as violence, abuse, and the exploitation of those who are marginalized and disadvantaged. Often their readings also reveal how God and the Bible editors are not sanctioning the violence found within the Old Testament; rather, these stories exist to be condemned and to show the need for a different way. Ideally our collective study of these stories will lead to our collective resolve to end abuse in all its varied forms.”

Abuse is a complicated and broad topic, and at this point, I have to confess I have no idea how to conclude this post. What are the solutions? I don’t know. Why does God allow his children to suffer from such atrocities? I don’t know. For many, the very existence of such evil is reason to believe there isn’t a God while others have found God through it. My hope is that, in the end, all victims may heal and receive recompense for their suffering. 

---------

“When the frailties and imperfections of mortality are left behind, in the glorified state of the hereafter… then shall woman be recompensed in rich measure for all the injustice that womanhood has endured in mortality.” -James E. Talmage

"We know that on some level Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It's our faith that he experienced everything - absolutely everything. Sometimes we don't think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don't experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means Jesus knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer - how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student-body election, He knows that moment when the brakes locked, and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced gas chambers at Dachau. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

There is nothing you have experienced as a woman that he does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, he understands about pregnancy and giving birth. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion....

...He understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say the new baby has Down's Syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children who ever come are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He's been there. He's been lower than all that.” -Chieko Okazaki

---------

Additional resources from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on abuse: 

Life Help: Abuse

Abuse (Help for the Victim) 

---------

About ten years ago, a professor from BYU-Idaho presented some historical findings that suggest prominent Relief Society leader, Eliza R. Snow, was gang-raped by eight men during the Mormon War in Missouri in 1838. While the account of the assault comes from a second-hand source, there are some indicators from Eliza’s writings during that time that support the claim. You can read an article on the topic written by the BYU-I professor here. Eliza was a powerful and influential woman who did so much good for her community. I wish we knew more of her story. 

This is an unusual way to end a blog post, but I wanted to share this information about Eliza because she was an inspiring woman who suffered many hardships, and someone might connect to her experience.