In Which I Confess I’m a Mess

Well, I turned 40, and then I disappeared for a while. 

Let’s rewind a bit. 

Christmas messed me up. I have a hard time with holidays. I wish it weren’t so, but I really, really struggle. I hate how dramatic that sounds, and I don’t want to be all “poor me,” but it’s my truth. As a child, holidays were hard because I was passed from parent to parent. Holidays were marked by “his” or “hers,” and I always felt insecure and lost. I would often act out and throw fits about stupid things like how my name was spelled or not wanting to turn ten because I didn’t know how to cope with what I was feeling. On top of those complicated emotions, my step-dad would trap my mom in a room and yell at her for hours and hours pretty much every Easter and Christmas (and often on birthdays, too) and my little brothers and I would just sit there with all our newly opened presents having to listen to the raging lunatic in the other room and wonder when we were supposed to call the police.

Holidays weren’t the only time he would do that - he did it all the time - but holidays were a guarantee. 

Several years ago, after my step-dad was finally out of the picture, I went to see a therapist, and she labeled my experiences as “trauma” and diagnosed me with PTSD. That felt a little extreme to me because the things I went through were so mild compared to things other people who have PTSD have been through, but as years have passed, I’ve come to recognize my symptoms, and I can see that I do have it, albeit mildly so. 

The holidays set me off a bit, and after Christmas, I was in rough shape, and I just really needed to shut everything out for a while. I was grateful that we had a vacation planned - a family trip to Disneyland - from NYE to January 7th. I thought it would be just what we needed, and how awesome would it be to celebrate my 40th birthday in Disneyland? (we weren’t going to the parks until the day after my birthday, but it still counted as my birthday according to me). 

A poor attempt at a photo with my 

birthday pin in which I truly look 40

(bonus points will be awarded to anyone

who knows where in Disneyland this photo 

was taken)

It turns out, a trip to Disneyland was not what we needed. I don’t want to use adjectives that are too strong, but Disneyland was, in a word, horrible. Enough so that we went and talked to guest relations about getting our money back (we knew it wouldn’t work out, but we tried anyway. Our compensation was three lightning lane passes per person). 

I’ve debated over the past week whether to write anything about Disneyland. I don’t know if I want to go into great detail, but Disneyland is not what it used to be, and I feel like it no longer provides my family with what we love. 

I can’t say with any surety that I’ll never take my family to Disneyland again. It’s kind of like child birth - you tend to forget the awful parts and find yourself wanting to do it again, but even with child birth, I knew when I was done. So maybe I really am done with Disneyland. Right now, it’s very fresh in my mind, so at this moment, I don’t want to go back. I wrote a very thorough “note to self” in my journal to refer to if I ever start daydreaming about Disneyland again.

So suffice it to say that Christmas + a bad Disneyland trip = one out of whack Britt. 

I need… something. Some kind of recovery. So far, five days hasn’t cut it. Sometime soon (maybe tomorrow), I’m going to write a post about Disneyland, and it will mostly be positive because I want to document the good memories. But this post bares the truth - Christmas followed by that vacation left me damaged.

Currently (First Day of My Forties Edition)

Hello from this brand spanking new 40 year old. It’s my birthday, and it’s 2024. Whoa.

Just… whoa.

When I woke up this morning, my hair had moved itself into a side part, and I had three new zits. It’s like my body will always be a testament of my era. 

Now I’m working on making a schedule for all of my birthday freebies. I’ve already redeemed my free bundtlet from Nothing Bundt Cakes (I’m going to eat it with my birthday dinner tonight). 

In addition to all that fascinating information, here’s the current scoop:

Reading: 

I’ve always been curious about how closely the show Virgin River follows the book series it’s based on. I grabbed the first book from the library the other day just to thumb through it a bit. It’s not really my kind of book, but I ended up reading it and enjoying it more than I expected. I saw that the second one was available on Libby, so I downloaded it and just started it. I’m not sure if I’ll read the whole thing or not. 

The verdict (for how closely the show follows the books): it’s about 50/50 - 50% true to the book and 50% creative liberties. It’s a really long series, so there are characters and plot lines that might turn up farther into the books, but I’m not planning on reading too far into the series. 

I will leave a word of caution that the books have a lot of descriptive sexual content, and I didn’t expect that based on the show. So I don’t really recommend them.

Sick of: Christmas food

Cooking: freezer meals. We’re eating from the freezer this week - tacos, lasagna, chicken noodle soup, pot roast, and sloppy joes.

Suffering from: a lingering cough. Number me among those who have been coughing since October.

Wearing: joggers that I cut off into shorts, and a Star Wars-esque shirt that says “May the Lord be With You.”

Embarrassed by: my double (triple?) chin and my never-ending bout of adult acne.

Happy about: the lack of snow in the valley. Other than the yucky air and potential for a drought. I am loving not having to deal with snow. 

Feeling: a little bit like I’m 40. I know there are a lot of upcoming age-related changes to deal with, so I’m trying to enjoy what I got while I got it, but dang. This body is aging. 

Saying: “I’ll be in the van.”

Listening to:

I have about two hours left. I was really excited to see what I think of this book because among my inner circle, there are very mixed opinions.

I can tell you one thing - this book makes me never want to write a book.

Also… this book has a lot of language, so I’m really not doing well at finding “clean” books. 

Buying: gas and food… and then more gas… and more food… but to break it up a bit, I got two new crock pots from DI last week. I didn’t intend to get two, but I bought one from the West Valley location, and then I went to the West Jordan location, and there was a crock pot with a divided insert for $5, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to own a thrifted crock pot that will allow me to serve two hot dips at once. I celebrated by taking queso and chili cream cheese dip to game night on Saturday. That was five dollars well spent!

Smelling: tacos. We had them for dinner last night, and the smell is lingering. It’s gross when you’re several hours past tacos.

Playing:

I did not care for our first play through, so we’ll see if it redeems itself at a later date. I’m willing to give it another chance, but it didn’t win me over.

Craving: a foot rub.

Thinking about: Flonase. For some reason, doctors are always talking to me about Flonase as if it’s a miraculous solution to every problem. I’ve had multiple doctors recommend it to me for my ears. No, not to squirt into my ears! I’m supposed to squirt it in my nose, like a normal person, and it’s supposed to help dry up the fluid that’s in my ears (I get extra validation from my doctors if I squirt it in my nose and then lay on my side for a few minutes, but who has time for that?) I’ve also had Flonase recommended for allergies and post nasal drip both in myself and in my kids, but I’m just not that impressed with Flonase. I use it because it’s so frequently recommended for what ails me, but I don’t notice any difference. 

Procrastinating: taking Zoe and Eva to the dentist for a round of serial extractions. 

Watching: 

This show is infuriating. It doesn’t help that I’m not a Joshua Jackson fan to begin with, and he plays a horrible, detestable doctor.

(If you’re curious if I’ve ever listened to the podcast this show is based on - I have not).

And as usual, I don’t recommend it due to sex and language. Just your annual reminder to not use me as a resource for wholesome books or shows. I’m sorry (but I always try to share my recommendations for clean entertainment when I do find it). 

I’ll never be able to have surgery now.

Needing: to drink more water. I’m quite dehydrated after my irresponsible December soda intake. 

Trying: to not set any New Year goals. It’s really hard for me not to. It’s just my nature. So I keep coming up with all these grand ideas, and then I want to write them on a list, and I have to go, “No, Britt! We are not doing that this year! We are just going to… be.” But then my inner voice says, “We don’t have to call them ‘goals.’ We could just make a ‘bucket list.’” “No! That’s goals!” And the whole exchange is very Gollum/Smeagol and OHMYGOSH this is where Zoe gets it from, isn’t it?

Huh.

Singing: “Shut Up and Dance.”

Building:

Another thrift store success! 

I haven’t finished a puzzle since March, so I’m quite out of practice!

40x40: The Finale

In fall of 2022 I started working on a 40x40 project. I made a list of 40 things I wanted to do before I turn 40. In recent years, I’ve had about a 50% success rate in any goal setting I do. So I didn’t meet all 40 goals. Figures. But whatever.

I never listed my 40 goals here on the blog, but I referenced some now and then. Now I’ll let you see what all of my goals were. I was hoping I’d be a better person going into my forties. I’m pretty sure I’m not, but it was fun anyway. 

Here is how I did:

1. Read 365 books with Eva - Incomplete. Reading with Eva is miserable; I’m not gonna lie. 

2. Play 500 songs on the piano - Incomplete. I started off well and even felt myself improving, and then I just stopped one day and never touched the piano again.

3. No soda for one year - FAIL. I made it until June (as you read on, you’ll find that all my efforts unraveled in June. The end of June is when my summer depression took over, and I couldn’t keep up anymore).

4. Go back to the temple - Complete

5. Read Atomic Habits - Complete

6. Do 50 push-ups (in one session) - FAIL

7. Learn to play Terraforming Mars - FAIL, much to my husband’s dismay

8. Add ten healthy recipes to my recipe binder - Complete

9. Read one spiritual book per month - Close enough

10. Renew my Church magazines - Complete

11. Get family photos taken - Complete

12. Get Daisy and Zoe's eyes checked - Complete

13. Make deviled eggs - Complete

14. Make potato salad - Complete

15. Do a dairy fast to see if I’m lactose intolerant - Complete, and I’m not!!!

16. Have an annual physical - Complete

17. Pay off the truck - Complete. Then we bought a new van that’s 3x the payment amount. Ugh. 

18. Have five adventures - Incomplete. My intent was to do five things I normally wouldn’t do. I went sledding. That’s all.

19. Do a ten-day social media fast - Incomplete, but I had lots of three-day social media fasts. Turns out social media is pretty important in keeping up with my kids’ school and extracurriculars. 

20. Reestablish dish days for the kids - Complete

21. Size down - Incomplete

22. Only weigh myself at the doctor - Complete

23. Figure out digital photo storage - Incomplete

24. Learn Canva or similar program - Complete

25. Do a thorough house clean-out - Incomplete. I wrote out a plan and completed a few projects but didn’t get the entire house like I hoped. 

26. Get all accounts and subscriptions cleaned up - Incomplete

27. Find a healthy "reward" - Complete, but I haven’t stuck with it. My reward was to play Wingspan on the treadmill for my last 20 minutes at the gym.

28. Keep track of eating out - Incomplete. I kept up til June. Life unraveled in June. Summer kicked my butt.

—————

Now we move into the immeasurable goals - the ones I couldn’t really “check off” but hoped to accomplish somehow:

29.  Have more church music in the home - Successful. I have a Sunday playlist that I turn on… when I remember… and I have found a few songs that my kids respond well to, so I try to sneak them on from time to time. 

30. Keep up on hair health - Undetermined. I tried to keep my ends trimmed, but I did it myself. I feel like my hair has all broken off and gone away anyway.

31. Be nicer to people - Undetermined. It’s hard to know. 

32. Drink more water - Undetermined. I did really well until June, of course.

33. Prepare better for Christmas - Successful. I think I did okay at this. There are still some things I’d like to tweak in the coming years to do better.

34. Keep up on skin care - Unsuccessful. I’m touch and go with skincare. 

35. Dabble in writing a book - Unsuccessful. I thought maybe I could, at minimum, do some creative writing prompts for practice or write some character sketches. Nah. I didn’t even try. 

36. Do better at praying with the kids - Unsuccessful. In fact, I think I got worse.

37. Improve some strained relationships - Undetermined. There were some relationships I started trying to work at one point, and then I remembered why those particular relationships are strained to begin with, and I decided it’s best to just keep a distance for now. 

38. Do Sunday journaling - Unsuccessful. I did a bit but didn’t make a habit of it like I hoped.

39. Improve my fasting practices - Unsuccessful

40. Do better at Come Follow Me study - Undetermined. Again, I did well until June.

—————

As the New Year approaches, I’m programmed to make resolutions, but I’m forcing myself not to. My approach for 2024 is to not make resolutions and then count every accomplishment as extra credit. 

2023 in Review

January

I turned 39

We had Scotty's grandma's funeral

Nicky got his driver's license

We bought a Jeep for Nicky to drive

We bought a new dishwasher

Nicky got his first job

My grandma passed away

February

Nicky went to Sweetheart's with Lexi (Scotty and I chaperoned)

For Scotty and I took Zoe and Eva to see Bluey's Big Play at the Eccles Theatre

Daisy got new glasses (and apparently wasn't lying about not being able to see)

March

Scotty went on his first Brocation post-COVID

Daisy got her braces off

Daisy performed in her school's production of Aladdin as the "apple vendor"

Nicky competed in the drama regionals and got to move onto state

Nicky went to Disneyland with the performing arts groups from the high school

The rest of us went to Saint George

April

We got family photos taken for the first time in years

Zoe got heavily involved in the "Spikes to Utah" campaign (trying to return the spikes from the transcontinental railroad to Promontory Point in Utah). She got to be on TV and the radio.

Daisy performed her first partner dance

Eva turned eight

Nicky went to prom with Addie

Nicky and Addie performed a scene from A Woman of No Importance at State and medaled

Daisy started a petition at the junior high to do Footloose for the next musical 

Eva went on her first field trip on a bus (to the zoo)

May

Nicky, Zoe, and Eva performed at the cheerleading showcase at the high school

Nicky danced with Whitney in the partner dance (Whitney is one of my best friend's daughters - she has autism)

Eva was baptized by Nicky

Nicky went to Senior Ball with Ellie

Zoe had her 4th grade Utah program and proudly got to hold the sign for Piute County

Eva, Zoe, and Daisy had their spring dance concert

Nicky auditioned for the competing theatre team at the high school and made it

Scotty and I celebrated our 20th Anniversary at Disneyland

Nicky had the lead role in "Everyone Gets Eaten by Sharks" for his theatre performance

Zoe got to be on the Radio From Hell at X96 for the Spikes to Utah campaign

Daisy had her school choir performance and did a rap solo

June

We went to Saint George with Scotty's family

Daisy and I went to girls camp

My brother passed away unexpectedly

Daisy went to Oakcrest (a church camp)

Scotty and Nicky went to Young Men camp

July

Scotty, Nicky, Zoe, and I did the Muddy Dash

Nicky and I went to the Saratoga Springs Temple open house and got trapped in the Celestial Room

Scotty and Nicky started working at USANA to pay for Nicky's theatre fees

Zoe did a theatre summer camp and performed as a "who" in Seussical

Scotty and Nicky went backpacking with some people from our church

Nicky and Daisy attended FSY at Snow College

August

The kids started 11th, 8th, 5th, and 3rd grade

We went camping with Scotty's parents' ward (spoiler alert: by the end of the year, it became our ward)

Nicky was on the high school golf team for the third year

Nicky was cast as "Winward" in the The Little Mermaid at the high school

September

Nicky went to Homecoming with Regan

We went to Fan X

Our fence, garage, and truck got vandalized

The new bike park opened in our area (and the kids love it)

Nicky competed at the Shakespeare festival in Cedar City and injured his elbow from his stage falls (bursitis)

Nicky joined the swim team

We went to Lagoon a lot

Our ward split and our stake boundaries were realigned

October

We bought a new van

Scotty went to Asia for two weeks

November 

Zoe turned 11

We bought a new oven

Nicky received his patriarchal blessing

December 

Nicky injured his elbow (again) 

The girls had in-studio dance performances for Christmas

Daisy was cast as Ariel in Footloose at the junior high (refer to April above)

Nicky turned 17

The ABCs of Christmas

A is for Advent Calendar

Zoe and Eva had Doorables advent calendars this year, and they were the cutest darn things ever! 

They got to open one door each day and reveal a Disney figure. I’m kind of in love with Doorables. They first came into our lives a few years ago when Zoe’s friend brought her a set for Christmas. Now we have tons of them around the house, and on Christmas, Zoe opened a set that had Robin Hood in it, and now I need to find a way to make it mine!

B is for Baby

My brother and his girlfriend are having their third baby, and we (and they) found out on Christmas that it’s a girl! (My first - and probably only - biological niece).

C is for Church

Christmas Eve fell on Sunday this year, so we went to church in the morning then went to Scotty’s mom’s for breakfast burritos. 

D is for Driver

This is the first Christmas we’ve had a child that can drive, and it was amazing. I had him running all over the place on Christmas Eve.

For Christmas, Nicky got a lot of boring, practical stuff like an emergency roadside kit and frost blanket.

E is for Eating

…and eating… and eating… to the point where I hate food. But not enough to actually stop eating.

A small sampling of the food that was sent home with us over two days

F is for Fast and Testimony meeting

Wherein the first man to the pulpit intentionally told the children that Santa isn’t real. There was a baby blessing that day, and we had tons of visitors with little kids. It was quite an ordeal. 

G is for Guns

Scotty’s mom gave us all dart guns at her Christmas party and glasses so we wouldn’t shoot our eyes out. 

H is for Hoverboard

Our family history of hoverboards:

Daisy got one several years ago, but she rarely used it, and when she did use it, she would just sit on her butt and go in circles around the living room.

Zoe got a a hoverboard this year, and she at least stands on it, but she’s very cautious. She won’t ride it outside of the house.

Eva does not have a hoverboard but has been riding Zoe’s all over the place - inside and outside - like a maniac.

So… my daughters become more hoverboard friendly as they go down the line. Eva can even play games on a phone while riding.

I is for Injury

Nicky’s olecranon bursitis (“Popeye elbow”) flared up again because he did a high kick contest with his friends while wearing socks and took a fall.

His injury originated from falling too hard during a Shakespeare scene in October. The high kick contest took place backstage during The Little Mermaid.

Some parents have to worry about sports injuries. I have to worry about theatre injuries.

J is for Jokes

Zoe wanted to do a stand-up comedy routine for the family Christmas Eve party. After talking her out of several big, impossible ideas, we were able to find her some Christmas jokes online.

K is for Ken

Daisy has been saying she’s going to buy a Ken doll for months. I had to keep telling her that would be a stupid way to spend her money… because there was one under the tree. 

L is for Lights

We went to Christmas in Color with Grandma and Grandpa and followed up with ice cream and cheese fries at Leatherby’s.

M is for Melatonin

Eva got into the Melatonin on her own at 6:30 Christmas Eve and put herself to sleep. Now we’ve moved the Melatonin. 

(She was awake by 1:44 a.m.)

N is for Nemo

Our high school has a unified theatre program, which is a theatre class with combined special education and general education students. This year they performed Finding Nemo Jr, and our sweet friend, Whitney, was Nemo. Nicky helped back stage with props. It was such a  joy to watch! You can’t help but smile for the entire show.

O is for Over

As in, Nicky’s childhood is officially over. We didn’t even try to pull off Santa for him this year. This was his reaction when he saw Santa carrying the filled stockings to the basement.

P is for Potatoes

Scotty’s mom got 125 lbs of potatoes at the end of November, so we ate lots and lots of potatoes all month long because Scotty’s mom’s over abundance of food always ends up being our over abundance of food (see E is for Eating).

Scalloped potatoes, baked potatoes, potato soup (and then another potato soup and then another…), mashed potatoes, ranch potatoes…

Q is for Quilts 

My mom made all of us Christmas quilts for our beds last year, so part of our Christmas prep now includes getting our beds ready for the holiday. 

R is for Ralphie

Scotty’s mom’s party was A Christmas Story themed. She was so excited for her event. She bought a stuffed Turkey and put it in a pan and carried it into the party and pretended to drop it. Then she brought in Chinese food. 

She had Ovaltine (just normal chocolate milk with “Ovaltine” written on it, soap candies and lots of vintage candy, A Christmas Story Bingo, and a living room scene set up with a leg lamp. 

Then she broke out the guns (see G). 

S is for SIX

We got tickets to SIX for Christmas. We will be up in Tier 3 where I swore I’d never sit again after seeing Wicked, and yet, here we go again! 

T is for (movie) Theater

We went to see Migration the day after Christmas (with Fandango codes and discount Tuesday, I was able to get 6 tickets for under $20!!) I was exhausted and fought to stay awake but finally gave in during the last 20 minutes and dozed off. 

U is for Underwear

Half of us got new ones for Christmas (Nicky, Zoe, and me).

V is for Vacation

Santa brought us a journey outta here!

W is for Whip

Nicky and his friends all downloaded an app that makes whip sound effects and plays the Indiana Jones song, and they all run around the high school using their phones as whips, so we got him an Indiana Jones shirt (and, as expected, he immediately went and got his phone and started whipping).

X is for eXcited 

I’m always excited to get all the Christmas decorations put away. I feel like my house renews when I get to set it back to “normal” after fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas. 

Y is for the (new) Year

I’m still not used to 2023, and it’s already time to move on!

Z is for Zebra

Everyone in Eva’s dance class wore Christmas jammies for their performance, but Eva insisted on being a zebra.

Christmas Complaints

I’ve gone mad and baked double batches of three different kinds of muffins today… except for the pumpkin muffins, which I tripled because I accidentally measured the flour amount of pumpkin (like I do) and then had too much pumpkin in the batter and had to adjust by increasing the batch size. 

Why can’t I just be a normal person who bakes a single batch of muffins? 

This, of course, was after the first incident of the day in which I made a double batch of veggie dip and ended up dropping my phone in the bowl, resulting in all of my ports filling with Mayo and dill weed. 

Have you ever had to clean Mayo out of your phone ports? It’s not easy. Toilet water got nothing on Mayo. You can blow dry toilet water. You cannot blow dry Mayo. I mean, you can, but then you still have to go in and scrape it out once it’s turned dry and crusty.

(If I lose my phone to a mayo incident, imma feel real defeated, lemme tell you).

(I’m blogging from my phone, and since my phone controls my life, it gets to decide whether Mayo is capitalized or not). 

My consolation for my food preparation efforts today was knowing that for lunch I had a container of leftover scalloped potatoes waiting for me in the fridge. 

My daughter is currently eating them. So much for that.

The last thing in this world I want to eat right now is a muffin. 

Anywho…

(Let it be known that the iPhone accepts “anywho” as an actual word, but anytime I type “sew” it autocorrects to “see” (that time being no exception), so one may see a quilt but not sew one).

Since we are in the final 72 hours before Christmas, I will close up shop until after the holiday and wish you a Merry one. 

In the meantime, pray for me because this morning Zoe asked me if she could start a dating web site. 

Oh, bless Daisy! Look what she left me!

Today’s Dreams

Earlier this year I wrote about how my daughter Zoe is a big dreamer. She is always full of big, impossible ideas, and I honestly don’t know how to handle it. At some point, I need her to have a reality check. I love that she believes in herself and explores all sorts of possibilities, but I need her to develop some logic, and I need her to understand that dreams take work… and skills… and sometimes education. It’s so hard to have to constantly crush her dreams. She thinks she’s the best at everything - the best singer, the best actor, the fastest runner, the most talented artist, and more. And if anyone outshines her in any way (which happens all the time because, let me be honest, she is quite mediocre like the rest of her family) she gets extremely jealous and angry. She can’t understand why she isn’t chosen for everything and why she isn’t always proclaimed the winner of all, and she goes into a rage over it.

It’s exhausting and a little scary.

We are only a few short hours into winter break, and I’m already overwhelmed with her big ideas.

Zoe the other day with the quilt she insisted on making for her future child

This morning on the way to school she informed me that she wanted to start an acapella group, and she asked me if I could help her advertise for and hold auditions. Then she outlined everything she was looking for in the group and listed all the venues and events they would perform at.

After school she asked me if I could find a publisher for her book. 

Then she told me about her new invention that she wants to create to keep cats out of our back yard. Zoe has an issue with cats because, when she was little, she kept telling us that there was an evil cat in her grandma’s garage. We constantly reassured her that there was no cat in grandma’s garage. After a few weeks of her going on and on about the evil cat, Scotty found a starving, feral cat living in his mom’s garage. Zoe has had trust issues and a fear of cats ever since. She gets really upset whenever she sees a cat in our backyard, and she can never just let it be. She used to scream until one of us would go outside and scare the cat away. Now she has developed some independence, and after she screams, she opens the window and barks until the cat runs away. It doesn’t matter the hour of the day, so my apologies to my backyard neighbors who have to hear my daughter barking out the window at 6:00 a.m. Then again, it is their cat, so maybe they have it coming. 

Oh, but the dream… Zoe wants to build some sort of extension to our fence to keep cats from coming in our backyard. She insists she needs velcro and basswood. How does this child know what basswood is? This afternoon she wouldn’t stop talking about it, and she wanted us to drop everything and go shopping for basswood. 

(That’s the other thing, she thinks she has unlimited funding for all her big ideas). 

Then in the evening, she started making things (I don’t even know what she made - I just know there was a lot of paper involved) that she wants to take around the neighborhood and deliver to people. She has a messenger bag that she has designated specifically for this task, and she has put together a disguise to wear. She’s drawing a map of everywhere she needs to deliver. 

And those are just today’s things. Other dreams of late - she wants to get a dirt bike, she has designed costumes for her dance class, she wants to pitch a new school club to the principal (she, of course, will be president of said club), she rewrote the nativity story with her own dialogue and gave us all parts and made us rehearse it, she wants a violin, and she wants to get a job at a ski resort. 

I think we’re in for a long winter break with crushed dreams aplenty.