The Little Tulip That Could Not

I've always wanted to plant bulbs in my yard so I can enjoy some spring blooms. And for years and years, I haven't done it. I have a lot of excuses - I’m lazy, I don't really have any flower beds, and I don't know anything about bulbs - to name a few. 

Last fall, I finally bought a package of tulip bulbs from Sam's Club and planted them in the gargoyle thrones on each side of my garage. 

What is a gargoyle throne? one might ask. Well, allow me to take you on a quick journey into the past...

Twenty years ago, there was a house in our neighborhood that had two large stone gargoyles on either side of the garage. Scotty and I used to drive past it and comment on how ugly and tacky the gargoyles were. One day, that house went up for sale, and we bought it. 

The end. 

The "thrones" the gargoyles sat upon were made from stacked landscaping bricks filled with dirt and then cemented over the top. When they sold the house, the previous home owners removed the cement to release the gargoyles (which they took with them), leaving the dirt exposed and cement stains on the brick of the house.  So we have two raised dirt beds on each side of the garage, which we lovingly refer to as the "gargoyle thrones."

The eastern gargoyle throne - you can see the leftover concrete on the red brick from where the gargoyles used to stand

We've planted a lot of experimental plants in the thrones over the years. They’re mostly shaded, so it's hard to find things that grow well in them, but we've managed to succeed with pumpkin vines and sunflowers a few times. In the above photo, you can see how some sedum has grown out the sides of the containment. I originally planted the sedum in the dirt up top, but it took on a direction of its own!

Anyway, back in October, I went ahead and planted some tulips in the thrones - unsure whether they would ever grow since they wouldn’t get a lot of sun. The next week, while I was in Disney World, my mother-in-law brought my girls home to plant some bulbs to surprise me (what are the odds that, after living a bulb-less life for 18 years, I would plant bulbs, and them my MIL would come plant bulbs in the same place a few days later?) my girls weren’t supposed to tell me about the bulbs, but Zoe blabbed. She just couldn’t help it! I asked my MIL what kind of bulbs they planted because I want to know if my bulbs succeed. She said they planted hot pink tulips.

To my delight, tulips started emerging from the ground a few weeks ago. I noticed that some of the tulips had thinner leaves than others. I chalked this up to the variety pack I planted and my MIL planting a different kind of tulip.  I hoped that they would eventually bloom, and that I’d be able to tell the difference between my mother-in-law’s and my flowers so I could know if I was capable of planting and raising tulips. Every day, for the last month or so, I've gone outside to check on their progress - looking forward to the first appearances of buds. 

Last week, the first bud began to form. What color will it be? I wondered! My package of bulbs boasted of reds and yellows with a few light pinks in the mix. Eventually, the color made itself known: the first tulip would be yellow! It was MINE!

Earlier this week, it snowed, and my little bud, which had just started to open the day before, took a hit. 

I found it drooping under the weight of the snow, and after removing the snow, it didn't seem like it would spring back. 

I ended up writing a lengthy blog post about my little, droopy tulip and how it reminded me of Jesus’ love for us. I thought a lot about it all week and drew all sorts of spiritual parallels that were timely for the week of Easter. I even shed a tear or two as I “felt stuff.” 

Yesterday, I noticed that the tulip was starting to do a lot better. I thought, “It’s going to pull through for Easter, and it’s going to beautiful!” Such perfect timing! Such a special lesson!

Last night, as I was lying in bed, I pictured my yellow tulip. I continued writing my Easter blog post in my head. Suddenly I had a thought… you know… my tulip actually looks a lot like a daffodil. As soon as the thought came to me, it was like running into a wall. 

My tulip isn’t a tulip at all!

My tulip is a daffodil! 

It’s not leaning to the side from the snow! It’s leaning to the side because that’s what daffodils do! 

I’m sure it will still be beautiful just in time for Easter, but I no longer have a tale of the redeemed and revived tulip. Now I have a tale of the daffodil that beguiled me, and I have a feeling that my MIL didn’t plant any hot pink tulips in my gargoyle thrones!

Cancel my Easter blog post!

Wrestling

We all have our "wrestles," right? The things we battle over internally? Here are some of the things I'm wrestle over lately:

Whether I should get a job. 

Now that my kids are all in school, I am constantly contemplating whether it's time for me to rejoin the workforce. In all honesty, I don't want to. I also don't need to. But I often think about how we could get ahead and be in a better place financially if I were bringing in some income. We can live on what Scotty makes, but we have to be very, very careful. If I worked, maybe we could replace some broken appliances, pay off our house a little sooner, or build up our savings for things to come. 

As a stay-at-home mom, I feel insignificant sometimes - like I'm not contributing to society. I also worry that other people think I'm lazy or that I live some cozy lifestyle that doesn't require effort or sacrifice.

Whenever I pray about working, though, I get the answer to continue staying home for now. I have times when a friend calls me and asks if I can take her kids to school because their carpool didn't show up, or one of my kids gets sick at school, or there's a shooting in the area, and I'm grateful in those moments that I'm available, and I remember that I actually am contributing, but I wrestle.

(Please note that this is not a commentary on anyone else's decision to work or not work. I believe it's so personal, and every family situation is so different. That's why I pray about it often - just to make sure I'm doing what's best for our particular circumstances).

My kids not being who I wanted them to be. 

When I was young, I had a vision of what my future family would look like. Basically, my kids would be perfectly groomed and excel in all areas of life. They would be athletic and talented - singers, dancers, actors, and readers. Perfectly obedient, of course. Extremely likeable and popular (in the good ways, not the bad ways). I would rarely have to discipline them because I, as the perfect mother, would nurture any bad behaviors out of them by the age of six months by teaching them sign language, cloth diapering them, and feeding them homemade baby food (true story). 

I didn't get that family - I don't think anyone does. My kids don't like what I think they should like. They don't do what I want them to do. They don't dress the way I would dress them. They're not good at the things I thought they would be good at. We butt heads over things I never thought I'd butt heads with a child over. I had no notion that any of my kids would struggle in school or hate reading. They are their own people, and I'm trying my best to let it be that way, but I wrestle. 

In some ways, they are better than I ever would have hoped. But in other ways, I sometimes mourn what I don't have. That sounds horrible, but I trust you other mothers know what I mean. As they get older, it's only going to increase the gap between the vision I had of my future family and reality, so I need to be at peace with these spirits I'm responsible for. 

Working with other people.

I don't work well with others. I never have. I'm an opinionated control freak, and I'm not great at delegating or socializing. I'm not a believer in "many hands make light work." In most cases, I think "many hands" get in the way and make things a lot harder, and I just want to do everything myself. 

I also find that nobody else thinks like me, so I always feel differently about everything than the people I'm working with, and I wrestle.

I'm consistently in a battle between avoiding situations where I have to work with other people and trying to be a better team player.  

Holidays.

I could easily write a ten-page essay on my struggles with holidays, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say that holidays are hard on me. I have high anxiety during holidays, and because of that, I am not the most pleasant person to be around. So, this being the week of Easter, I'm trying to keep myself in check and not have a major freak out, and I wrestle. 

Knowing my place in our families.

Scotty and I both come from blended families. Together we have eight parents and 24 siblings. Out of our four families, I really only know my "place" in one of them. In the other three, I just feel lost. It's no one's fault - so I'm not trying to place blame - I just have to confess that I often don't know where I belong. That's part of why I have a hard time with holidays, and I wrestle.

Giving my time.

Right now, I feel very selfish about giving my time away. I don't want to volunteer at my kids' school. I don't want to do my Church calling. I don't want to help people! I just want to hole up in my house and read books and not do anything for anyone. This is contrary to who I want to be, and who I should be, and I wrestle.

Lack of compassion.

Along with not wanting to be giving of my time, I'm finding it difficult to feel compassion for some people around me who are struggling. There is one person, in particular, who is going through some hard things, and I can't muster and ounce of compassion for them. I don't want to help this person at all. And when I acknowledge this within myself, I think, "Where is this evil coming from? Why do I feel this way?" and yet, I feel that the best way to help this person is to let them suffer, so I wrestle. Is that really true, or am I just hard-hearted? 

What to write about on my blog.

There's someone I've known most of my life (who has since left my life, but not for any scandalous reason - he just moved out of state, and we've lost touch) who used to always say, "I'll probably read about this on your blog later!" 

Let's call him Tommy Boy. 

Anyway, Tommy Boy believed that anything I ever experienced would end up on my blog, and I used to always get a little defensive about it because, in truth, there is so much that I don't put on my blog. There are some things I really want to write about, but I'm not sure if it would be in the best taste. There are things that make me angry that I would love to write about. There are things that have happened in my family that I would love to write about. In some cases, I think writing about things would be very healing and would help me (and you) understand me better. 

But I try to be careful about what I put on my blog. I know I don't always make the best choices in my content, but I try to use good judgement, and I wrestle. 

So, Tommy Boy, if you ever see me fall off the treadmill at the gym, I probably will write about that on my blog. But that horrible thing that happened ten years ago that you were privy to because you were my Church leader? I don't get to write about that. Even though I really want to. 

All the April Things

We're one week into April, and boy, did we hit the ground running. We've had a bit of a crazy start to the month. 

We began with April Fool's on the 1st. Nicky stayed up late Thursday night creating this mess:

He was a little disappointed in how it played out because he thought I'd go down in the basement early in the morning and find it, but in reality, I rarely go down in the basement and could have gone days before I discovered his little prank. Instead, the girls found it and had a heyday - messing up his "April Fool's" lettering and causing him much distress. 

Sisters ruin everything, so I'm told.

That evening, we had our 4th annual April Fool's dinner.

I moved the table into the living room so we could plate the kids' food without them seeing. I made them eat with tongs. It's always funny to see how long they can endure a silly utensil before they end up sticking their faces in their plates. 

We listened/watched General Conference over the weekend. On Saturday, Scotty cleaned out the shed while I washed all the windows on the house. While I was up on the ladder cleaning our bedroom window, I saw someone across from me, also washing windows, and I was really confused until I realized it was my own reflection in my bedroom mirror. 

Also on Saturday, we took a load of donations from our community to a drop-off location to be shipped to Poland and Romania for Ukrainian aid. 

I hadn't been able to park in the garage all week - which is a good problem to have when you're trying to assist with humanitarian needs - but it was nice to get that space back. 

On Sunday we went to Scotty's mom's house to listen to Conference. Nicky and his cousins had a boxing match on the trampoline, and we think Nicky might have blacked out after taking a punch to the face. 

I'm not sure what level of parental involvement should be expected in such situations. Do I let them beat the crap out of each other? Do I tell them to knock it off? 

I settled for, "No ER visits today, you guys." 

We had our first BBQ of the season in between sessions, and my burger was delightful, thankyouverymuch.

On Monday, I got my hair cut by a new stylist. I think it went okay. I'm currently navigating a self-inflicted hair crisis that I don't want to talk about, so my full opinion of my hair cut is pending. 

Later that day, the kids and I headed north to eventually meet my friend Lynsie in Logan for a spring break "retreat." But first, I dragged my kids to the Great Salt Lake Shorelands Preserve to look for birds.

(Just in case you weren't sure, kids don't want to spend their spring break looking at birds. What has two thumbs and doesn't care what her kids think? This mom!)

I made them walk the mile loop. There was much whining.

Unfortunately, we didn't see a lot of birds at the preserve, but I want to go back in a few weeks to see if more migrate in. There were a few red-winged black birds, and at the very end of our excursion, as we were driving out of the gate, a great blue heron flew right in front of us. Other than that, it was mostly cow poop.

From there, we headed farther north to the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge, and IT. WAS. AMAZING...

...if you're into that sort of thing. Which I'm pretty sure the general population is not. 

There is a 12-mile drive on a dirt road where the bird watching was superb! My kids stayed busy doing Mad Libs, and as long as I didn't try to stop them from using potty words they were content (I've never heard the word wiener so much in my life). I saw herons, cormorants, grebes, and avocets, to name a few. There was also a flock of about 50 pelicans. Oh my! So much bird geekery!

(This is how you know you're aging). 

From there, we headed to Logan and met Lynsie at a hotel. We stayed two nights with our kids. It was fun but also a lot of work. Some highlights from our little vacation:

• We went to the Pepperidge Farm store
• We ate at Big J's... twice

• We stayed at a hotel with a water slide (which had pros and cons that I could write a 30 page paper about)
• Zoe brought her goggles - always the goggles

• We went to Gossner's and got some cheese curds, milk, and ice cream
• We went to Willow Park Zoo, and it was freezing

• We stopped and played at two different parks... where it was, again, freezing
• We went to the DI to look for weird stuff

• We went to the hotel pool 35 different times with 800 people 
• We ate at the Crepery and Sabores
• We went to Baby Animal Days at the American West Heritage Center

And even with all of that, I think our kids still ended up on electronics for no less than 12 hours and watched 65 episodes of Sponge Bob and Big City Greens. 

We got home around 5:00 on Wednesday, and I was completely exhausted. 

Yesterday we had an appointment at the Jordan River Temple to do baptisms for the dead. I took Nicky, Daisy, and Daisy's friend, Grace. Nicky can perform the baptisms now, which is pretty exciting. He did his first baptisms a month ago, and I was planning to be there, but then herpes happened, so I wasn't able to go for his first time (his grandparents went). So yesterday was my first time seeing my son baptize other people (while Daisy and I were acting as witnesses), and it was one of those "wow" moments. I just gave birth to this kid, I swear, and now he's baptizing people. If they hadn't changed the ages for priesthood progression in 2019, Nicky would still be nine months away from being able to perform baptisms. The age change put him an entire year ahead in his priesthood progression (since his birthday is December 27), and he was only a deacon for one year instead of two. 

At the temple, Nicky got asked twice whether he was endowed, to which I responded, "He's tall enough, but not old enough." 

After the temple, we had lunch at Cafe Rio (temple work always justifies eating out) and then everyone played with friends for several hours. 

Last night, Scotty and I went on a date. It was actually "running errands," but we call that a date now if we get to go without kids. We had some coupons for free stuff at Bath and Body Works, so we went and redeemed those, stopped at Sally Beauty Supply to buy some products to help with my aforementioned hair crisis (the products did not help), and then we went to Smith's and bought a brisket. 

Brisket shopping is what true romance is made of. 

And that brings me to my current state: 

Friday morning. 

I have a hair problem I need to solve. Zoe has a grand plan to make herself a dress out of a scrap of fleece. Eva has just been given her final warning that if she yells "shut up" again, she will have a hefty consequence. I haven't unpacked a single thing from our trip. I have no clean socks or underwear, but I also can't find any dirty ones to put in the washer. I have no energy, and I have been asked no less than 50 times "Can I play Roblox?" (to which I have said no). 

Ah. Spring break, indeed. 

Currently {April 2022 Edition}

 Reading:

Wearing: black pants and a black and white striped shirt with Scotty's socks because mine are all dirty.

Struggling with: a hardened heart. There are a few things I need to get over, and I’m feeling quite resistant.

Annoyed by: a cut on my finger that's not really bad, but because of the type of cut, it gets snagged on everything, so I have to keep it covered with a bandaid, and I feel like I can't use my finger. 

And... by way of information... on the same day I got the cut, I was sitting under a tree and a bird pooped, and it landed in between my fingers (the photo above shows my bandaid-ed finger and the yellow bird poo).

Excited about: a little adventure I'm going on with my friend Lynsie this week. 

Listening to: 

Thinking about: a future career as a welder. We keep breaking stuff and saying, "We could weld it," only we don't have a welder, so maybe I should invest in one and become a welder!

Trying: Starlight Coke. 

It says it's space flavored, and I gotta be honest, I wanna know what space tastes like.

(Apparently space tastes like Coke with an aftertaste of scented candle).

Looking forward to: April 11 when my kids go back to school after spring break. 

Watching: Jurassic Park with my kids (but giving Eva and Zoe melatonin so they fall asleep before it gets too scary). This is how it's going:

Wanting: to escape society for a week and have a good reset. Phone off. Just food and books and naps. I haven't decided if my family gets to be there or not. Part of me wants them to reset, too. The other part wants to get away from them... in this hypothetical escape. 

Eating: hamburgers and potato salad for a General Conference BBQ and boxing match.

Conference Boxing - it's a thing

Missing: the early 2000's. I've officially become an old person who longs for an era of the past and thinks everything was better then.

"Back in my day..." 

Scared of: getting my hair cut. My hair lady retired, and I haven't done anything with my hair since October. I'm auditioning a new stylist tomorrow, and I can't deal. It's worse than dating. I don't actually know because I never really "dated," but I'm making a guess here. 

Playing: 

Singing: the finale from In the Heights - "The hydrants are open, cool breezes bloooooooowwwww!"

Loving: the versatility of our new couch. We currently have it arranged as "Zoe's Weekend Suite."

Procrastinating: paying a medical bill that will require me to make a phone call and talk to a human.

Proud of myself for: cleaning all my house windows inside and outside over the weekend. 

Wondering: if this is supposed to be a toucan:

Dreading: Easter candy coming into my house. 

Craving: steak. But also pizza from Summit Inn. And salad from Spaghetti Factory. 

Grateful: to be able to eat and drink PAIN FREE!!

Post herpes victory dance

Creepy Confessions

In general, I'm pretty good with remembering names and faces and information about people. Every now and then there's a name that doesn't stick, and I have to keep asking, but for the most part, I don't have a hard time with names. This is a blessing and a curse - a blessing because I always know who everyone else is. A curse because I always know who everyone else is. 

(Aside: the other day I had a situation where I didn't recognize someone, and afterward, when I realized who the person was, I felt horrible. It was very out of character for me. Then I realized she didn't know me at all, so why should I feel bad?)

Anyway, sometimes this trait makes me a little creepy. Several years ago, I kept seeing this mom from my kids' school at various places throughout the community. I knew who she was, of course, but she never showed an ounce of familiarity toward me. Finally, one day, in the make-up aisle of Target, I stopped and introduced myself and told her that I recognized her from the school and that I tend to see her a lot. I asked her her name (even though I already knew her name, her kids' names, and what she did for a living because that's how creepy I am). Then, to continue my creepy ways, I sent her a friend request on Facebook. We have not developed a magical friendship, but now when we see each other out in the world, we at least say hello. 

A short time later, I did the same thing to another mom from school that I kept seeing everywhere I went. I cornered her in the Chick-Fil-A play area and told her that I recognized her from the school and that I see her often in the community. I didn't send this mom a Facebook friend request, though, and it worked out well that I didn't because I never saw her again. Maybe I scared the living daylights out of her and she joined the witness protection program. 

A few years ago, I started seeing this other girl around town (now that I'm almost 40, is "girl" even the right word? Because I feel like "lady" and "woman" are too old, but "girl" is too young - what should I call my fellow women? "Female peers?") Anyway, I started seeing this female peer from time to time, and of course it turned out that her kids went to my kids' school (I'm not intentionally stalking the mothers of my children's classmates, it just works out that way). I felt like we were supposed to be friends. I even told my friend Shannon that I kept seeing a female peer around town that I knew I was supposed to be friends with, but I wasn't going to force it. I just felt like someday things would fall into place, and this girl/woman/female peer and I would be friends. 

Across the span of about two years, I observed my Potential Friend and accidentally learned a lot about her - meanwhile, she was completely oblivious to my existence. 

Again, I am creepy. It just comes naturally. 

Finally, I ended up at a large community event with my Potential Friend, and I knew that that was to be my day of attack. Somehow I weaseled my way into small talk with her, and I did the whole, "I think our kids go to the same school," thing (I decided not to mention the fact that I'd been scoping her out for two years and knew we were meant to be friends because... hello... creepy). 

It worked. We're friends now!

Do we hang out? Nope. Do we exchange birthday cards? Nope. But somehow, I still feel like we've got each other's backs. Even though we've never shared a meal or hung out in sweatpants together, I feel like my special circle of people has expanded through my ultimate creepiness. 

Now there's this other mom from the school I'm starting to see everywhere, poor soul, and I'm wondering if it's my God-given mission to chase these women down in public and make them be my friends. 

So watch out, female peer! I'm coming for you next!

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (Part IV)

When you have to run into a public place to deal with a bathroom emergency, and you don't put any thought into what you did with your car keys, and when you stand up from the toilet, they fall down inside your pant leg, and you have to do a strange jig to wiggle them down to the bottom where you can reach up your pant leg to grab them, but you are wearing skinny jeans that are a bit too tight, and you can't get your hand and your keys to meet, so after all that work, you have to pull your pants all the way down to your ankles to retrieve the keys.

When you're delivering Christmas gifts to your neighbors, and you see all the gifts on their porches from neighbors who didn't bring you anything. 

When your kid takes a bunch of sticks out of the neighbor's yard and brings them home, and you really just want the kid to go put the sticks back, but it's probably poor etiquette to throw sticks on your neighbor's lawn, even when that's where they came from, so you just have to accept that his tree branches are now your problem.

When you buy something from the thrift store that you're super excited about, and you post a photo online, and someone tells you they just donated that very item last week. 

When you're pretty sure you hear a burglar downstairs in your kitchen, but you're super tired and don't want to get out of bed to fight him off, so you just figure he can take whatever he wants as long as you don't have to get up. 

When you're washing your car, but the car wash attendant doesn't properly guide you, so your tire hits the edge of the conveyor and jerks your car all over the place, and the attendant looks at you like you're an idiot, but they are the ones who are supposed to let you know if you need to turn your wheel. 

When companies have costumed individuals standing out on the street trying to entice you to utilize their services, but ain't no man dressed like Lady Liberty ever convinced you to get your taxes done. 

Additionally, when that waving individual on the street seems miffed that you're not waving back, and you're like, "Lady Liberty Dude, I am just not in the mood right now, okay?"

When you're rounding up kids in a public place, and you're trying to gather the wrong kids, and their mom looks at you like you’re some kind of kidnapper, and you’re like, “Oh please! Like you’ve never tried to take someone else’s kids from the park before!”

Likewise, when you scold a kid at the store and then realize it's not yours. 

When you're buying a large item at Costco and you can't see very well over the cart, and you crash into a lady talking on her cell phone. 

When someone let's their dog jump all over you, and they say, "Let me know if he's bothering you," and you smile while thinking, "Why would you assume that this is not bothering me?"

When you're at the OB/GYN, and they call out "Brittany," but two of you stand up, and suddenly you're in a Brittany Show-Down!

When you look more pregnant that the other Brittany, only you're not pregnant at all.

When a man at church has a super cute baby boy, and you are ooing and ahhing over the little guy and suddenly say, "Can I have your baby?" and all you meant, jokingly, was "This baby is so cute and squishy, I could just take him home and keep him," but instead, you've essentially asked the dad to procreate with you. 

When there are new employees being trained at Cafe Rio, and you know what goes on the tostada, and they don't, so you coach them through it like you own the place, and you kind of feel like a jerk, but you can't just stand there and let them make their tostadas wrong!

When someone is walking down the middle of the parking lot row, and you're stuck driving behind them thinking, “It’s okay, man, I love taking 20 extra minutes to get the hell outta Walmart.”

When you're in the dressing room at TJ Maxx and the lady in the room next to you is talking on her phone to her therapist, and the details are so juicy that you kind of feel dirty, but at the same time, it's not your fault she's having this conversation in a public setting! And you really wanna see what this woman looks like, but you don't want to have an awkward run-in coming out of the dressing room, so you scope out her shoes under the stall and hope to find her wandering the store later (alas, in this case, you never find her).

When you're approaching your van, and you use the key fob to open the sliding doors, and a bunch of garbage blows out. 

When you go to Costco and choose not to get a cart because you're just there so your daughter can buy a Squishmallow, but then you see that the 25 lb bags of flour are finally back in stock, so you grab one and carry it around the store like Luisa, but then you buy a drink for yourself and your daughter on the way out, and your daughter announces that she can't possibly carry a Squishmallow and a drink, so you're stuck acting like it's perfectly normal to carry a 25 lb bag of flour and two sodas across Costco whilst also keeping your receipt available for the door check.

When you make a formal announcement on the internet that you're going to quit drinking soda on Monday, and then you don't. 

When you go to the donut shop and they tape your donut box closed as if you're not going to tear into it the second you get in the car.

When you smell something weird everywhere you go, but it takes you all day to realize that it might be you.

AND...

This is for Cousin Cyndi...

When you're wiping your daughter in a public restroom, and a hard turd ball goes flying off her bottom and rolls into the occupied stall next to you, to which you respond, "Oh crap!" while reaching under the stall with toilet paper to retrieve it.

Thirteen Hours Til School (and thirteen other random facts)

Fact #1: Last week, my friend Carlie told me about an app called Merlin Bird ID where you can take a photo of a bird and ID it. You can compile a list of birds you see. I downloaded the app and chased down a few birds over the weekend. 

Fact #2: On Saturday morning, I was ditching my family to go to Chick-Fil-A to get a chicken biscuit and a Coke when I saw some ducks in my neighbor's yard. I pulled over, got out of my van, and tried to sneak up on the ducks to get a photo for my bird app. There were two males and two females, and as I approached them, the boys started trying to get on the girls. The girls were having none of it (and I didn't want to take photos of them mating anyway) so I broke up the festivities and was like, "Shoo, man ducks!" I'm all for baby ducks, but I swear duck sex is never consensual! 

Fact #3: I started drinking soda again while I was in the thick of my herpes outbreak. I have to post this and make a public commitment - I'm going back off soda as of Monday. But gosh, it was a beautiful two week affair! One of my favorite soda/food combinations is the Chick-Fil-A breakfast biscuit and a Coke. I have to have both together. Last week I had a chicken biscuit and Coke for breakfast five days in a row. Don't judge me. 

Fact #4: I was really glad to have the Saturday shift take over at Chick-Fil-A because the same guy handed me my breakfast four days in a row, and I was starting to feel like we were dating.

Fact #5: For the most part, my mouth is okay, but I still have three sores that are lingering. I don't have to use lidocaine anymore, but I have to be careful about where my food touches when I chew, and my mouth still bleeds very easily. 

Fact #6: Last night we slept with our window open because our house was really hot. At 5:30 this morning, I heard cats screeching and moaning. I got up to close the window and I saw two cats mating in front of our truck. I thought, well heck, I'm not going to close the window! I'm just gonna go scare them! So I went downstairs and opened the garage door thinking it would run them off (I wasn't properly dressed to go outside). But no. They just kept going at it with their horrific moaning sounds. 

I tried flipping the outdoor lights on and off. Apparently cats are not deterred by porch lighting.

Finally, I went and got the key fob for the truck and hit the lock button to make the horn honk. That was enough to make one cat lose interest. The other just sat there confused.

(I won't even comment on which one was the male and which one was the female).

So yeah... I spent my weekend breaking up animal sex, so if there's a shortage of ducklings and kittens this spring, we all know why!

Fact #7: Last week we bought a new couch for our living room! 

In the fall I made and sold pumpkin rolls for Thanksgiving, and I saved the money I made in hopes that Couch Season at Costco would bless us with a new sofa. 

It did! It did!

I saw the couch at Costco at 1:00 p.m. They had three in stock. I went back with Scotty at 5:00, and they only had one left, and as we were wheeling it away on carts, someone else showed up to buy one. 

I kind of feel guilty that I got the last couch, but I played a fair game. 

Fact #8: Bulk pick-up was two days later, so Scotty and Nicky put the old couch out on the curb, and off it went!

Due to this photo, I vacuumed my blinds the following day.

Fact #9: After the garbage truck left, Zoe asked me what was in the road. I looked outside and saw a lovely pile of crap that fell out of our couch, making me so glad that no one took our couch to their house!

Fact #10: Speaking of birds (all those facts ago), when we got our COVID shots, we got to spin a wheel to see if we could win a prize. Eva won a gift certificate to Tracy Aviary, so last weekend we went and redeemed it toward a family pass. While we were there, I was trying to take a photo of a kookaburra to send to Carlie, when I suddenly got photobombed by a masked lapwing!

Look at that bird's face! You can't tell me it didn't have that planned!

Fact #11: I feel like a hero when I return high-demand library books early. I, personally, have changed the fate of people waiting for books all over Salt Lake County.

Hero. 

Fact #12: Last Thursday, Scotty and I took Nicky and his friend to a play. Nicky's friend told us that we are the most awesome parents ever. I've pretty much let it go to my head and have been walking around for the past three days going, "Yes, we can have a family movie night! Because I'm an awesome mom!" "Yes, you can jump on the trampoline with a sprinkler! Because I'm an awesome mom!" "Yes, you can have dinosaur chicken nuggets for breakfast! Because I'm an awesome mom!"

Fact #13: This awesome mom let her kids eat popcorn in the family room on Friday night, and the bowl got knocked over twice - one time resulting in the neighbor kid's jandals getting full of kernels, and I couldn't even make her eat them because awesome moms don't make other people's kids eat popcorn out of their shoes.