Some Things Never Change

I have a thirteen year old son who has a tendency to be very grumpy. Yeah, that's common with teenage boys, but Nicky's not grumpy about 13 year old boy stuff. He's grumpy about old man things. People have commented since he was a baby that he has an “old soul,” and I think it's true. He's a 113 year old man trapped in a 13 year old body (although, by the way his ankles creak, his body might not actually be so young).

Nicky often stomps around complaining about things like how messy the house is or how loud the girls or the neighbors are. He cleans the house simply because he wants it to be clean, and then he spends the rest of the day declaring, "I just cleaned this! Who made this mess?" He moans about people being on their cell phones too much and often recites lines followed by "kids these days." He is frugal and has much to say about what people spend money on. He's also highly opinionated about how we dispose of things. We can't be wasteful on his watch! Any time one of the girls asks me for something (to have a cookie, to have a friend over, to watch a show...) Nicky chimes in immediately with a firm “No!” I am forever reminding him that he is not the parent.

Nicky is a stickler for rules and is always saying things like, "What's the speed limit here?" The other day I put some garbage in my neighbor's trash can (this neighbor and I have agreed that we can put trash in each other's cans on garbage day) and Nicky lectured, "You can't just put garbage in other people's cans, Mom!" The next day we were trying to rescue an injured baby bird from the same neighbor's yard, and Nicky went ballistic because we walked on the neighbor's driveway without permission. He would not stop griping about it, so I texted the neighbor and got the official "okay." Then I had a long talk with Nicky about our relationship with the neighbor, and how he can calm down a little. 

One thing Nicky loves to do as a grumpy, old man is critique song lyrics and grammar. So this morning, as I was walking through the kitchen singing, "Some things never change, " Nicky started ranting about how things actually do change. Then he proceeded to list off all the things that have changed lately. School has changed. Shopping has changed. Eating out has changed. Disneyland has changed. And so on and so forth. 

Then I countered with, "Yes, things change. But the song says SOME THINGS never change. SOME. So chill, dude." 

Nicky has a point, though. A lot has changed in a small amount of time. I've been thinking a lot about change lately. I'm not sure what my relationship with change is. Sometimes I enjoy change and find it refreshing. Other times I hate it and resist it at all costs. I've experienced all of the above during recent events.   

Yesterday we came home from camping, and I noticed one of our sunflowers had bloomed. A few others were on the brink of blooming. 

Then this morning, when I got home from my walk, I found that another flower had bloomed, but it hadn't unfolded all the way. 

My kids and I planted the sunflowers during the early days of COVID, and here they are, alive, well, and blooming. I remember planting the seeds and reading on the package that they would flower in about 65 days. I wondered what the world would be like by the time we had flowers, and what I would be like.

I am a person who strives for growth and improvement. But at the same time, I feel like I have the same vices, temptations, and weaknesses I’ve always had. During this pandemic, I’ve hoped to change for the better. I can’t say whether I’ve experienced any positive change, but I’ve caught myself being patient in circumstances where I wouldn’t have been patient four months ago. And I’ve let go of some things that used to be priorities. I spend my time a little differently now. 

Growth requires change.

SOME THINGS never change. The sunflower grew and bloomed just like sunflowers always do. 

But some things do change. Like the sunflower itself. Yesterday it was a bud, today it's a flower. The change happened in a matter of hours. 

Maybe under the surface I am growing, and someday it will be perceptible like a blooming sunflower. And if I only bloom 75% like the sunflower that met me after my walk this morning, I’m good with that! I'll take it.