Me to Amazon: Nobody frequently buys those items together, you big, fat liar.
Me to influencers: But why are you orange?
Influencers: No one prepares you for…
Me: Yes, they do…
Influencers: No one talks about…
Me: Yes, they do…
Influencers: Normalize…
Me: That is normal...
Venmo: Someone from your group project in college seven years ago just paid someone else for pizza.
Me: Why would I care? Also, tell me more…
Healthy family recipes: Potatoes etc…
Me: if you say so.
Reviewer: bowls are too big.
Me: someone needs more cereal in her life, and it shows.
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