Thursday, June 12, 2025

Conversations I Have In My Head with Online Personalities

Me to Amazon: Nobody frequently buys those items together, you big, fat liar.


Me to influencers: But why are you orange?


Influencers: No one prepares you for…

Me: Yes, they do…


Influencers: No one talks about…

Me: Yes, they do…  


Influencers: Normalize…

Me: That is normal...


Venmo: Someone from your group project in college seven years ago just paid someone else for pizza.

Me: Why would I care? Also, tell me more…


Healthy family recipes: Potatoes etc…

Me: if you say so.


Reviewer: bowls are too big.

Me: someone needs more cereal in her life, and it shows.

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