An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations: Episode XVI

It’s been almost a year and a half since I last posted a list of awkward situations. One might think my life has become a little less awkward, but that’s not the case. I just tend to relive the same awkwardness over and over and have less “new” awkwardness to report. Here are some of my awkward situations from the past year of my life…

When you’re in your garage recliner eating McDonald’s, and the neighborhood runner comes by, and you wave to her with your cheeseburger.

When you stand at the sink of a public bathroom waiting for the motion sensor to turn the water on, and after moving your hands around for a while, realize it’s not a motion sensor at all. Then you look over at the show off next to you as they competently turn their sink on and off.

When you’re on the treadmill at the gym and the guy on the treadmill in front of you is walking on his machine backward, so you have to spend your entire workout trying not to make eye contact with him.

When all your neighbors are outside shoveling, and you come out with a snow blower like, “Sorry!”

When you text someone, and they suddenly silence their notifications and don’t text you back.

When other people’s kids are at your house, and your kids turn on a TV show, and they say, “We’re not allowed to watch this at our house.”

When there’s a lady at Sam’s Club who looks like your mom, and you know it’s not your mom, but you also aren’t sure it’s not your mom, so you stare at her too long because you’re waiting to see if she says hi to you.

When you are trying to get into the wrong van, and you suddenly notice the Polynesian man asleep in the passenger seat.

When you accidentally bump bums with someone you don’t know very well, and you automatically holler, “Moon landing!” and then you have to wait to see if they laugh or not.

When your fellow bum bumper doesn’t laugh about your moon landing.