People and Personas

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #4:

Goodness

A few weekends ago while we were camping, a man wandered into our isolated camp. He had walked down the dirt road in nearly hundred-degree weather with no cell service looking for help because his truck had broken down. He was overheated and stressed, as anyone would be in that situation. Scotty gave the man a ride back to his truck, and they tried to jump start it without success. Luckily, another man came driving past and stopped to help, and they were eventually able to get the truck started. 

When the man walked into our camp, I noticed that he was wearing a Trump/Pence campaign shirt. I couldn't help but acknowledge that there are people who would turn him away simply because of his shirt. Now, I believe that most people would have helped him regardless of any political affiliation, but I have no doubt that some people would refuse. Likewise, the same could be said of a person sporting a Biden/Harris shirt. 

Back when talk was beginning about mandating masks in Salt Lake County, I had this little thought:

Britt, there are people you love who are pro-mask. They are good people. There are also people you love who are anti-mask. They are good people.

Right now, I feel like we, as a society, are more divided than ever. I, myself, have some pretty strong opinions about certain things, and I confess, it's hard for me to navigate the opposing views sometimes. Other times, I can see both sides, and I feel trapped in between. Is it possible for both sides to be right? Definitely! Is it possible for both sides to be wrong? Yup. Is it possible that there is no easy answer and that either way, some people will be well-served while others will be harmed? More often than not! 

Here is what I'm trying to remember... this idea comes from the book You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy. Murphy writes about the difference between a person and a persona. When dealing with political or religious views or various labels like "feminist" or "vegan" or "pro" or "anti" anything, "...it's important to remember that what you know is a persona and not a person, and there's a big difference. There's more than you can imagine below the surface" (p. 58).

Here is something I know to be true:

There are people who are Republicans that are good people. There are people who are Democrats that are good people.

There are people who are 100% anti-mask that are good people. There are people who are practicing every amount of caution to prevent the spread of COVID, including wearing masks, that are good people. 

There are millennials who are good people. There are baby boomers who are good people. 

There are people who eat at Chick-Fil-A and shop at Hobby Lobby that are good people. There are people who refuse to give business to those companies that are good people. 

There are people who stand during the National Anthem who are good people. There are people who kneel during the National Anthem who are good people. 

There are Christians who are good people. There are atheists who are good people. 

There are people sympathizing with Black Lives Matter who are good people. There are people who question the intent of BLM who are good people. 

There are police officers who are good people. There are protesters who are good people. 

There are people who shop entirely local who are good people. There are people who shop Amazon relentlessly who are good people. 

There are people sending their kids to school who are good people. There are people keeping their kids home who are good people. 

There are people wearing Trump/Pence shirts who are good people. There are people wearing Biden/Harris shirts who are good people.

Can I confess that even though I know these statements to be true, I still forget? Some of those things are hard for me to write simply because of some of my stronger opinions. What we really disagree on is solutions, and my friends, that is tough because, like I said above, every "solution" to every problem serves some and hurts others. How do we choose who to serve and who to hurt? There are no easy answers. 

I recently revisited a stash of quotes I saved from Brene Brown's book, Braving the Wilderness. "Wilderness" is a great way to describe what we are dealing with right now - a bit of unknown, rough terrain. There are two pieces of advice from Brene that I really like:

One is to "Be more curious than defensive." As we discuss varying views, it is to our benefit to ask others about their viewpoints and seek to learn more. In the end, we might still disagree, but maybe we validate one another and have a greater perspective. 

The other is, "People are hard to hate close up. Move in." We can't let stereotypes and personas keep us at a distance. When we see people closely and get to know their hearts, it's easier to love them. 

Now, please realize that I may be the worst at practicing everything I just wrote about. I get really angry and pig-headed sometimes. I admit, I am having a hard time loving other people and seeing the good right now, so consider this my commitment to reset and focus on people, not personas.