My Inner Klutz

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #33:

Oops!

Today I had to go buy a quart of paint for a project I'm working on. One employee was training another employee on how to mix paint. When my paint finished mixing, the trainer told the new kid to open the paint and dab a bit on the lid then MAKE SURE TO PUT THE LID BACK ON SECURELY. 

(She said it with great firmness! Hence the caps!)

As the customer who would be taking the paint home, I fully supported the proper placement of the paint lid. Because I have spilled paint in the trunk of a car before. 

I’ve also sat on a paint lid. While wearing a pair of jeans I bought the day before!

And just like that, I've posted my butt on the internet. The best part? When I post the link on Facebook, the preview photo will be my butt. 

I don't think I'm klutzy by nature - I've just become so as my life has gotten more overwhelming. With every child, I've gotten more frazzled, so now that I'm trying to keep my crap together while being pulled different directions all the time, there's a lot of room for accidents and mishaps. 

So let me tell you about my most recent mishaps:

Mishap #1 occurred on Friday. 

I was making the dinner of champions for my children: fish sticks and corn. 

I was also making fish tacos for Scotty and me, so I had a few different food items in the works. At the same time, Scotty got a phone call from a family member, and he needed to leave suddenly and go take care of something. I was trying to get Scotty fed before he ran out the door, so I was throwing fish tacos at him while also getting some corn microwaved for the kids.

I had this brand new unopened bag of frozen corn from Costco, and I set it on the stove so I could open the zipper contraption to pour corn into a bowl. Well... I forgot I had just used the burner to cook the fish tacos, and it was still hot. So the bag melted, and when I lifted it up, all the corn fell out of the bottom onto the kitchen floor, and a big plasticy mess was left behind.

Luckily I’m a pro at cleaning melted plastic off my stove - since I’ve also melted a refrigerator storage bin and my Instant Pot. 

Mishap #2 happened on Sunday.

We were having a family birthday party for Daisy, who was turning 11. Daisy helped me make 24 cupcakes for her party, and we left them sitting on the stove top (don't worry, nothing melts in this story). 

I was trying to get lunch on the table, including smoothies which I had to make in small batches because our blender goblet broke, and all we currently have is the 24 ounce cup attachment. Eva was marching around impatiently saying, "Where's my moovie?" while I was trying to get a cup to pour her smoothie in. 

I opened the cupboard and knocked over a glass, which fell on the counter and shattered, shooting itty bitty glass shards all over the counter, the stove, and the freshly baked cupcakes. I had to throw them all away as not to feed glass shards to my family. It was quite defeating.

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So thank you, paint dude, for securing that lid like you should. There's no telling what damage I would have done with an improperly secured paint lid.*

*Says Britt while the paint is currently in her garage with the lid simply resting on the can after finishing the second coat of paint.