Hooray for the Bidet!

I confess, I've been looking at my writing challenge prompts thinking which one will allow me to write a detailed post about my bidet? 

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #23:

Around the House!

Here we go!

A few months ago, we bought a bidet attachment for our toilet. I've always thought a bidet would be wonderful to have, but legit bidets are really expensive and, therefore, pretty low on the priority list. Several years ago, I started seeing online ads for bidet attachments, but I didn't think they would really be good quality. Then some of our friends bought bidet attachments for their toilets and loved them, so suddenly, my bidet dreams felt within reach! 

The first week of March, when toilet paper was scarce, but COVID crap hadn't officially hit the fan yet, I almost bought a bidet attachment. Two weeks later, they were completely sold out. Every model. I kept my eye on things and was able to buy one in June.

I couldn't wait to try it out! I had never "bideted" before. 

Scotty installed it while I was laying on our bed reading a book. As soon as he had it all hooked up, he fired the trigger, and the water shot all the way from the toilet to our bedroom wall behind my head.

That's how we learned that the bidet packs a punch! 

Then Scotty gave the bidet a trial run. I watched this process, of course! That was a moment I wish I had a camera on him. Everyone should have their first bidet experience on film! Well, you know... at least the facial expressions. 

(Oh! Everyone except me, of course. I required locked doors and everyone out of earshot).

Scotty pulled the lever, let out a hearty yell, and turned it right back off. He said some choice words. Not swears - just butt-related descriptions that I shan't repeat on the internets. Then he pulled the lever again, this time not to full blast. His face! Oh, his face! He then said, "Am I supposed to clench?"

Later, I took my turn, and I can say with confidence, don't go full blast. You really can injure yourself. 

We've now had our bidet for three months, and we love it! Here are some of the TMI's I can share:

TMI #1: The temperature control might not really be necessary. It takes so long for warm water to get to the toilet that we never use it, and it's fine. The water isn't that cold. Ask me about it in January, though. I haven't used a bidet in the winter months yet! The only time I've used warm water is when the shower or sink in the bathroom has been running and there's already hot water right there. The first time I got a warm water wash, it kind of shocked me! It can be too hot! Don't burn your undercarriage! In the online reviews, some users say that they run the self-washing feature on warm while they do their "business" so by the time they're ready for a rinse, the water is warm. 

TMI #2: The feminine position might also not be necessary. Part of using a bidet is moving around a bit to make sure the water is hitting where it needs to hit ("hula hooping" as our friend Kyle calls it), so why move a dial to a new position when you can just... well... lean a little? I, personally, never use that feature. 

So my point in all that is, if you're in the market for a bidet attachment, you can probably save a little money and forgo the warm water/feminine features and still be a successful bidet owner. Also, the temperature controlled bidet is more tedious to install.

TMI #3: A question I get asked a lot is, "What do you do about drying?" Well, you just have to figure out your personal preference, but I still wipe (oh my gosh, am I really writing about this on the internet?) 

I have two reasons for wiping: 1) I want to make sure the bidet gets the job done (sometimes follow-up is required) and 2) I want to be dry. So after I run the bidet, I wipe with a small amount of toilet paper. I'd say the bidet will definitely pay itself off eventually in toilet paper conservation, but it doesn't completely eliminate the use of toilet paper. 

TMI #4: The bidet is absolutely wonderful for the Monthly Visitor. That alone is reason to have one! And I have three daughters, so...

TMI #5: Scotty and I always talk about how much we miss our bidet when we are away from it. Whenever we have to poop away from home, we feel so burdened. Last time we went camping, Scotty commented that his butt was no longer conditioned to be wiped so much. We just might have to start carrying a peri bottle with us everywhere we go! 

So what are your thoughts on bidets? Have you used one? Would you ever buy one?