Cheers to Healthy Eating (now pass me a croissant)

Yesterday I wrote about how I’m trying to complete 40 goals before I turn 40. One of those goals is to add ten “healthy” recipes to our meal rotation. This means I need to find eligible recipes to test run until I find ten keepers. Healthy or not, a new recipe rarely makes it into our regular meal schedule. Nine out of ten recipes I try are flops. That means I could potentially test run 100 healthy recipes this year in order to find ten worth repeating (clearly I didn't think this through).

So for the past few weeks, I’ve been scouring Pinterest and various blogs and recipe books looking for ideas, and I’ve reaffirmed something:

Healthy food sucks.

Okay, not really. But kind of.

Now, everyone’s interpretation of “healthy” is different. What I’m looking for are meals that offer some variety in nutrients and are low(er) in sugars, refined carbs, and processed ingredients. I don’t have a list of food rules I’m trying to obey, nor do I have a list of foods or ingredients I'm fully avoiding. I just want to expand our meal options with things I feel good about eating.

What I’ve found is that there’s not much out there for me in the way of healthy recipes beyond what I already have in my recipe binder. In other words, if it’s a healthy meal, and I’m willing to eat it, I already have a recipe for it. 

Also, I am continually baffled by the things bloggers think kids will eat. I’ve spent 16 years looking at things that say, “15 Healthy Meals Even Your Pickiest Kids Will Love!” And, trust me, ain’t nothin there my kids will eat. And my kids are a lot less picky than others out there!

(Some of my kids’ friends? I don’t know how they haven’t starved to death).

(And what’s with wrapping everything in a wheat tortilla? Why do bloggers always think kids will eat anything you put in a wheat tortilla? And who wants PB&J in a tortilla anyway? Ew). 

Here are some of my observations from the hunt so far:

Blogs with “healthy” recipes basically use the same recipes over and over but change the veggies or the seasoning. “Lemon Chicken with Asparagus” in 2014 was reposted as “Lemon Chicken with Brussels Sprouts” in 2016 and again as "Fiesta Chicken with Zucchini” in 2018, and someone is making money off that.

Alternatively, they swap the cooking method. So "Sheet Pan Lemon Chicken with Asparagus" becomes "Skillet Lemon Chicken with Asparagus" and then "Air Fryer Lemon Chicken with Asparagus."

I made this sheet pan breakfast the other day and then thought, wait a minute! I already make this but in a skillet! Reiterating that if there's a healthy recipe I'm willing to eat, I already have it in my binder!

Pinterest acts like we can all afford salmon, as if they’re just swimming up the ditches of our middle-class neighborhoods, and we can catch them by hand and slap a honey Dijon sauce on them any day of the week.

The propaganda suggesting that quinoa actually tastes good is still in full force.

Everyone's trying to trick us into believing that there's an acceptable substitution for bread. You can’t call it a “bowl,” stuff it in a pepper, or wrap it in lettuce and pretend there's still joy in it. Because of this, I try to avoid any recipe that stems from something originally robed in carbs. 

So with my stubbornness, this is obviously a lofty goal! I'll keep you well-informed along the way.