Of Mothers and More

Once upon a time, I didn't know if I would ever be a mom. You can read more about that here.

 

Scotty and Britt, pre-kids

(believe it or not, we are actually adults in this photo)

My time of infertility was short-lived, but I had a couple of rough Mother's Days. Attending church was pretty hard in general. One thing that got me through my Sundays was a cute, little baby in my ward named Toby. Every week in church he would greet me with a big smile, sometimes even a giggle, and it always melted my heart. It was like he knew I needed it. On one of those Mother's Days, I remember watching Toby in the pew in front of me, and even though I didn't know what my future would be, I felt peaceful. There's a journal in a box somewhere where I wrote about this day. I tried to find it for this post but had no luck.

Tobes still greets me almost every Sunday, but the faces he pulls at me are a little different now:

We are very photogenic, Tobes and me.

In fact, everything is a little different now.

I've gone from whining that I couldn't have kids to whining that I do have kids. None of them got here easily or quickly, but somehow four of them showed up.

When Zoe "showed up"

As this year's Mother's Day approached, I thought about the amazing women in my life and the different experiences that each of them have had. Some have had children easily and are thriving in motherhood. Some have met motherhood with great trials including pre-natal loss, mental illness, developmental concerns, or infertility. Some have borne children at a great cost, financially and/or physically. Some have had a late start. Some have had surprise multiples. Some haven't had children of their own - some by choice and some not. Some have been handed teenagers who are not their own and told "raise them." Some have lost their own mothers.

Daisy's baby toes

Though each of us walks a different path in motherhood, we have one thing in common: we are women and we have influence.

There's a rhetoric that we are all mothers, even when we're not literally mothers. I don't remember how I felt about that when I couldn't have children, but I imagine that it's not the greatest line to feed a woman who would give anything to have a baby. It's said with good intent, though, and I understand the sentiment of it. As women, we all have influence, and being a positive influence in a child's life - whether in literal motherhood or in teaching or just simply caring - is powerful and important. I know this because I'm a mother who only gets by because of the love and support of other women.

So today, as I navigate this slightly uncomfortable holiday, I am thankful for my mothers - my mom, my step-mom, Scotty's mom, and Scotty's step-mom. I am thankful for my own motherhood journey, hard as it may be. I am thankful for my mom friends - women I laugh and cry with. And  I am thankful for those who may not consider themselves "mothers" but who uplift and support other women.

Happy Mother's Day!