Friday, June 23, 2023

The Time We Kicked Tony Finau’s Family Out of Our Lounge Chairs at the Pool (and Other Saint Georgey Tales)

Last weekend we headed to Saint George for a vacation with Scotty's dad's side of the family. This was our third year going together over Father's Day. 

We headed down a day early because we always enjoy an excuse to extend a vacation. On the way, we ventured to see a few new sights.

First, we stopped for lunch at Ashton's Burger Barn in Delta. Scotty attempted the "Meathead Challenge" - 2 lbs of burger with cheese and fixings on a bun, plus a pound of fries. He didn't really want to do the challenge, but he wanted the burger, so he asked it they would let him buy it to share with his son. They have a rule that you can only get it for the challenge, so he said, "Okay, I will try it and fail, then!" Now he has his photo on the Wall of Shame. But he got the burger he wanted, and even though he suffered a gracious round of the meat sweats and spent a good chunk of time on the toilet later, he has no regrets. 

Gosh it was a bummer to not get that “free” t-shirt though. 

 The Starting Line

The Challenge

The Leftovers
(about 1/4 lb of meat and a lot of cheese)

The Meathead Challenge 
Wall of Fame & Wall of Shame

From there we went to see some solar ruins. It's hard to find a good, informative article that explains what these are, but the short story is there was some type of fraud where people invested in these solar spinning thingies, and they never ended up producing any power across a ten-year span, and someone got in a whole lot of trouble. Now there's just this field of decrepit solar "trees" in the middle of nowhere, Utah. 



Whatever the story is, this field would make a fantastic set for some kind of sci-fi movie. 

After we saw the solar ruins, we went to the site of the Topaz Internment Camp




There isn't much to see there - just a few plaques and a lot of open land. The structures are all gone, and they just have signs that show what used to be where. You can drive around and look at things, but it’s really just dirt, sage brush, and ant hills. 

In the week prior to this trip, we picked up a nail in the van tire and a screw in the truck tire. We were able to salvage the van tire, but we had to get new tires on the truck. At Topaz, we saw a bunch of nails in the dirt, and we joked about how crappy it would be if we got a nail in our van tire again. 

It's hard to see in the photo, but this is a bunch of gravel and nails

Sure enough, we had a low tire by the time we got to Saint George! Scotty had to take it in to get repaired on Tuesday. The culprit? A nail.

BUT... before Saint George...

We also stopped at Cove Fort. This is one of those places we always talk about stopping at, but we'd never actually made it. Cove Fort has been striked from the itinerary a few times, so this time we made sure to stop! (This is where Scotty's epic post-food-challenge bathroom break took place).


Cove Fort is a boring bit of Utah history that I don't really care about. I mean, don't get me wrong... I don't mind seeing Cove Fort. I just don't want a lesson about it, nor do I want to tell you about it. 

Mormon history... Pioneers... Something to do with Brigham Young... bla bla bla...

(Sorry, ancestors and stuff).

After we left Cove Fort, we finished driving to Saint George. We stopped by a couple of parks, and our kids were pretty uninterested in playing (darn that Saint George heat), and then we checked into our hotel, ate sandwiches out of our cooler, and took the kids to the pool. 

Forced play for photo ops

The next day we went to Snow Canyon and did a hike. Even though it was on the cooler side temperature-wise for Saint George, it was still way too hot. I don't like hiking in the heat, especially when I'm fully exposed to the sun. So I was a good sport, but inside, I couldn't wait for it to be over!

Butterfly Rock
(I was not impressed)

Snow Canyon Scenery

Lava Tubes

I've been in Snow Canyon a few times, but this was the first hike I'd done there. The funny thing about Snow Canyon is that they have signs warning you to watch out for tortoises... as if they'll just come running out in front of your car any second! I feel like they are false advertisements. Where are these tortoises of which they speak? I've yet to see a tortoise anywhere in Utah! I think there's a tortoise scam!

After we hiked, we were lucky to find a picnic table in the shade, so we ate lunch and watched some birds - quail (two adults and lots of little babies!), Woodhouse's Scrub-Jays (tons of them - they wanted to steal our food), and a roadrunner (which is always fun to see, and we go "Meep, meep!" because we have to). 

Scotty and the kids walked to see a granite tortoise statue, and it was just as disappointing as the lack of actual tortoises in Snow Canyon. 

After Snow Canyon, we still had hours to burn before we could check into our lodging, so we went to a shaded park and slept on the ground. The park was right by a church, so we woke up to a bunch of families walking around us on their way home.

We stopped at a grocery store and picked up dinner from Cafe Rio, then checked into our resort. 

I never intended this story to span multiple posts, but for the sake of us all, I'll end this portion here and pick up tomorrow...

Which means... I leave you wondering about the Tony Finau thing. 

Dun... dun... dunnnnnn....

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