Last week I posted some quotes from the book Atomic Habits. The next day, I was talking to one of my "mom friends" at the school, and she recently finished the book as well, so we discussed some of the habits we are working on.
It's funny how different we all are. She is trying to develop the habits of reading (for herself) every day and being on time for things - two habits that come so naturally for me that I don't even have to think about them. I am trying to read to my kids every day (something I have always struggled with - and, as a result, all of my kids are behind in reading) and not drink soda. My friend has no problem reading to her kids, and while she enjoys a soda occasionally, overindulging in the juice has never been an issue or a temptation for her.
We laughed and jokingly accused each other of having things too easy.
How can you be ON TIME for everything?
How can you NOT DRINK SODA all day everyday?
The one thing we had in common, though, was our preference to do almost anything other than clean or exercise.
As much as I hate exercising, I am trying to make it happen. My current life phase has made it much easier than in years past. For one thing, Scotty and I can go to the gym together. We don't necessarily work out together, but we go at the same time (sometimes). We didn't used to be able to do this... because kids. So whenever one of us was working out while the other was home with the kids, we always felt guilty and rushed to get home. Now we have a little more leeway to stay at the gym, and if we are there at the same time, we don't feel like we have to rush home to relieve the other.
Also, in years past, I've usually had to exercise really early in the morning... because kids. My kids didn't do gym daycare well. Every single time I tried it, I got called to come get them because they were screaming, so I felt like I couldn't work out during normal waking hours. Now that they are all in school, I can exercise a little later in the day, and I have to say, it's a lot less stressful to not have to do it at 5:00 a.m. I can show up at the gym with the elderly morning crowd! Which is delightful! Except for when they fall off their elliptical machines in front of me, and I have to lift them up with the fear that I'm doing something wrong and causing more harm.
(True story from last week).
Some other habits I'm working on are:
Playing the piano - I'm trying to get better at sight reading. I don't know that I'll ever really be able to play the piano, but I'm dabbling and trying to make a habit of sitting down at the piano regularly and plinking through a few songs. One of my 40x40 goals is to play 500 songs this year (about ten per week).
Eating out less - for financial reasons and health reasons. I've been keeping track of eating out on a calendar, and while I'm not making any rules for myself about it, I hope to decrease the number of times I eat out each month. I want to be more intentional when I eat out rather than just indulging in convenience.
Studying the scriptures - every year I start off with a bang and then taper off around March, so right now is that crucial time to push through. For the last two years, I've had medical issues arise in Feb/March, and those have been a big factor in my derailment. And before that was the COVID year where every habit was affected. March is trippy. I’ve found that the best way for me to keep up on my scripture study is to roll over when I wake up, grab my phone, and do it before I get out of bed each day. Now that I don’t have babies waking me up every morning, this system works, and then I start my day knowing it’s done.
Drinking more water - I go through ups and downs with my water intake. Sometimes it's so refreshing, and I am naturally drawn to it. Other times I have to force myself to drink it. I take a water bottle everywhere I go. When I'm trying to stay off soda, the best tactic I've found is to never let myself feel even the slightest sensation of thirst. That's when the soda cravings come.
There are a lot of other habits I'm working on, but these are some of the main ones. I've tried to be gentle with myself so I don't get burned out. I'm super motivated by turning 40 soon, though. That has given me more drive than usual. The problem is... how do I keep going after 40? Who's going to hold me accountable? And how will I maintain good habits when I get hit with a trial? It's easy to have good habits when life is going well, but something always comes along to knock me off course. Eek. I don't want to even think about it.
There's also this weird psychological phenomenon (that probably has a name or theory tied to it - I just haven't found it yet, so let me know if you know what it is!) where I feel like I need to self-sabotage. It has something to do with A) not believing I can keep up with good habits forever (fear of failure?), B) thinking I'm not deserving of the positive consequences of good habits, C) feeling restrained by good habits (You're not the boss of me, Habits!), and D) worrying that people won’t like me if I have good habits (you have to admit, people with bad habits are more fun to hang out with. I LOVE going to stores with people who have no financial restraint. It’s seriously so much fun! And eating is always better when it’s with someone who isn’t afraid to dig in) Raise your hand if you get me!
For now, I'm doing really well with my habits. I hope I can say the same three months... and one year... from now despite my urge to sabotage.
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