Creepy Confessions

In general, I'm pretty good with remembering names and faces and information about people. Every now and then there's a name that doesn't stick, and I have to keep asking, but for the most part, I don't have a hard time with names. This is a blessing and a curse - a blessing because I always know who everyone else is. A curse because I always know who everyone else is. 

(Aside: the other day I had a situation where I didn't recognize someone, and afterward, when I realized who the person was, I felt horrible. It was very out of character for me. Then I realized she didn't know me at all, so why should I feel bad?)

Anyway, sometimes this trait makes me a little creepy. Several years ago, I kept seeing this mom from my kids' school at various places throughout the community. I knew who she was, of course, but she never showed an ounce of familiarity toward me. Finally, one day, in the make-up aisle of Target, I stopped and introduced myself and told her that I recognized her from the school and that I tend to see her a lot. I asked her her name (even though I already knew her name, her kids' names, and what she did for a living because that's how creepy I am). Then, to continue my creepy ways, I sent her a friend request on Facebook. We have not developed a magical friendship, but now when we see each other out in the world, we at least say hello. 

A short time later, I did the same thing to another mom from school that I kept seeing everywhere I went. I cornered her in the Chick-Fil-A play area and told her that I recognized her from the school and that I see her often in the community. I didn't send this mom a Facebook friend request, though, and it worked out well that I didn't because I never saw her again. Maybe I scared the living daylights out of her and she joined the witness protection program. 

A few years ago, I started seeing this other girl around town (now that I'm almost 40, is "girl" even the right word? Because I feel like "lady" and "woman" are too old, but "girl" is too young - what should I call my fellow women? "Female peers?") Anyway, I started seeing this female peer from time to time, and of course it turned out that her kids went to my kids' school (I'm not intentionally stalking the mothers of my children's classmates, it just works out that way). I felt like we were supposed to be friends. I even told my friend Shannon that I kept seeing a female peer around town that I knew I was supposed to be friends with, but I wasn't going to force it. I just felt like someday things would fall into place, and this girl/woman/female peer and I would be friends. 

Across the span of about two years, I observed my Potential Friend and accidentally learned a lot about her - meanwhile, she was completely oblivious to my existence. 

Again, I am creepy. It just comes naturally. 

Finally, I ended up at a large community event with my Potential Friend, and I knew that that was to be my day of attack. Somehow I weaseled my way into small talk with her, and I did the whole, "I think our kids go to the same school," thing (I decided not to mention the fact that I'd been scoping her out for two years and knew we were meant to be friends because... hello... creepy). 

It worked. We're friends now!

Do we hang out? Nope. Do we exchange birthday cards? Nope. But somehow, I still feel like we've got each other's backs. Even though we've never shared a meal or hung out in sweatpants together, I feel like my special circle of people has expanded through my ultimate creepiness. 

Now there's this other mom from the school I'm starting to see everywhere, poor soul, and I'm wondering if it's my God-given mission to chase these women down in public and make them be my friends. 

So watch out, female peer! I'm coming for you next!