Saturday, May 9, 2020

Seventeen

Today is our 17th wedding anniversary! We were supposed to go to Disneyland. I'm not sure if you've heard, but there's this virus going around that has caused Disneyland to close. How tragically inconvenient!


Instead, we're staying home, doing yard work, and having our Familyversary dinner with the kids. Scotty is actually in the country this year, so that's a plus! Of course I'm disappointed that we didn't get to go to Disneyland, but I haven't dwelled on it. We'll just keep trying to make the best of the circumstances (I admit, it helps knowing that no one else gets to go to Disneyland, either. I don't get to go to Disneyland! You don't get to go to Disneyland! Everybody doesn't get to go to Disneyland!)


Our anniversary obviously makes me think about our wedding. In hindsight (and with seventeen additional years of experience stockpiled), I would plan my wedding very differently. At age 19, I hadn't really been to many weddings, so I didn't know what I doing. I ended up just doing what I saw my few friends and cousins do who got married in the months before me. I bought a couple of wedding planning books and learned the customs. There was no Pinterest (thank heavens). Heck, there was hardly even the option of digital photography! The most exciting "new" thing for weddings at the time was a wedding video!

My friend Wendy took our engagement photos (via film)

Scotty's aunt Megan took our wedding day photos (via film)

If I had the chance to do it over again, I'd probably still get married in the Salt Lake Temple, but I'd leave right after the sealing and travel with Scotty for a couple of weeks. Then we'd have a big barbecue with friends and family when we got back. No reception. No dress (other than a cute, simple, casual, white dress that I could rock with my skinny 19-tear-old body) (I didn't know I was skinny. I didn't understand the perks of being thin. I took it all for granted. I also fully believed that my body would never change). I'd free my poor family from all of the burdens I placed on them in the planning of my wedding. I thought my wedding was simple - but it wasn't simple. It was cheap, and now that I am older, I can see that I relied so heavily on so many people to do stuff for my wedding just to keep it "cheap," and I was a little entitled about it. In that way that is so classic in teen development, I thought the whole world revolved around me and that everyone lived to serve me. Why wouldn't they want to do endless amounts of work for my wedding?

Our flowers were done by Scotty's second cousin 
who owned a floral shop

Me being skinny and naive

Sometimes I laugh at all of the big life decisions I made before my frontal lobe was fully developed. I made choices regarding my education and career, I got married, we bought a house, and we had a baby (after fertility treatments and testing - because I had nothing better to do at age 21) all before my brain reached its capacity for rational thought.

Oh the bullets I dodged!

One thing about my wedding that always makes me smile is the great amount of support we had, despite our selfishness and underdeveloped brains. We did demand a lot from people in our ignorance, but so many family members and friends stepped up and did so much for us. Our wedding was very well attended. We had nearly 600 names in our guest book (because you count those things when you're 19 and you want to confirm that the world revolves around you - even though you don't know that's what you're actually doing). The gifting was intense and generous. We were given so much.

One of the things I actually did right was the thank you cards. My wedding planning books prompted me to get those cards written and sent and in a timely manner. I took that responsibility very seriously! And I do remember feeling genuinely grateful for the gifts and wanting people to know it. I had all my cards sent within the first month. And throughout our marriage, I've recalled the things people gave us. Just yesterday I was outside watering the garden, and I remembered that Scotty's co-worker Jared gave us a hose for our wedding. He was so excited that he carried it through our wedding line so he could show us. "Congratulations, guys! Look! I got you a hose!"

It actually was a really great gift! We needed a hose! Another great gift - a fire extinguisher with a card that said, "We hope you never have to use it!"

I remember those first few months of marriage - I sincerely believed that I was a domestic goddess. I had no idea that I wasn't a good cook or that there were a lot of homemaking skills I didn't yet have. I just confidently went about my home life, serving Morrison meat pies and Kraft mac and cheese for dinner and thinking I was providing my husband with the most gourmet selection he'd ever been offered. What a good sport Scotty was! I knew nothing outside of convenience food, although there was a time when I George Forman Grilled the crap out of some steaks and invited people over for dinner - probably with a side of Suddenly Salad and canned corn. I thought I was giving them a real treat! Overcooked, dry steak!

This was where we lived after we got married. Oh this house! 
It would have been the perfect setting for a horror film!
(It has since been torn down)

Home sweet home!

Our marriage hasn't been perfect, but it has still been wonderful. I'm so grateful that, while young and stupid, I still had the good sense to marry Scotty! I often joke that I married him for his money and ended up getting so much more!

Well, I didn't get that trip to Disneyland... but whatever.


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