Thursday, October 25, 2012

Save My Armpits

Remember how I'm 39 weeks pregnant? Well, I am committed to blogging about something other than that today. The problem is, the only other thing on my mind right now is armpits.

(I bet you're glad you stopped by today, eh? Who wouldn't want to miss this?)

(By the way, that is not me).

(My Deodorant Application Face is a lot less... pleasant).

So... my armpits. They have been bugging me for years.

But before I get into the disgusting aspects of my armpits (hold onto your seats!), let me first tell you something awesome about them: I grow very little armpit hair.

I know this to be a blessing because I spent my younger years dancing, and I observed many other girls stressing over armpit hair right before performances. A lot of girls on the dance team had to shave their armpits before going on stage regardless of having shaved that morning. I never had to worry about that. Worst case scenario, I would have a single, blond piece of stubble.

Nowadays, things are pretty much the same hair-wise.

Unfortunately, I am plagued by other armpit issues. For one, I sweat a lot. I've used Drysol (a prescription deodorant) off and on for about eight years. I mostly use it for special events (you know, like wearing gray) because it's too rough for everyday use (it basically makes me want to claw my armpits off). Secondly, I have a really ugly skin tag in my right armpit. I told my dermatologist about it once, and he said, "I can remove it, but insurance won't cover it, so you might as well do it yourself at home." I kind of hate my dermatologist, and I get stressed out in his office and fail to ask the right questions, so when I got home, it dawned on me that I should have at least had him look at it to confirm that it really is a skin tag. Even if it is, though, I can't just go at it with scissors, considering a skin tag is a TUMOR and all (benign, but still...) so it's been there for about nine years.

Another problem with my armpits is that I get really awful deodorant build-up. I started noticing the build-up a few years ago while I was staying at a hotel. I was in the shower using free hotel soap to wash, and something weird was going on in my armpits. The soap was balling up and turning sticky, and it left a weird film on my fingers when I tried rubbing it off. I'm no scientist, but I'm thinking this had something to do with an ingredient in the soap not getting along with an ingredient in my deodorant.  Anyway, I realized after a week of using free hotel soap that my deodorant never washed off. After coming home, I didn't have the same problem with my soap balling up and turning sticky, but I could tell that my home soap wasn't washing my deodorant off either. If I scratched my armpits with my fingernails, a ton of nasty white film would come off, but I couldn't scrub it off with soap and a loofah. Thus began my long journey to solve my deodorant problem.

I first tried changing soaps. I thought a higher quality soap might help wash the deodorant off. Nope.

I then tried switching to a higher quality deodorant (I tried five or six different brands). Nope. Then I tried eliminating an anti-perspirant. Nope. Then I tried switching to an all-natural deodorant (still without anti-perspirant). Nope.

Then I started googling. Turns out, there is very little information out there about this problem. I came across a few discussions online, and there seems to be a great divide between the people with deodorant build-up and the people without. The people with it basically feel like nothing works, and the people without it think the people with it are all disgusting fools who can't seem to buy the right product and/or wash themselves properly.

I did find a few recommendations to help with the problem. Here are some of the things I've tried (besides changing products a million times):

  • Soaking armpits in baking soda paste 
  • Washing with baby shampoo
  • Washing with castile soap
  • Scrubbing with rubbing alcohol
  • Using men's deodorant
  • Scrubbing with an exfoliating pad
I found that using the exfoliating pad and a good soap and wearing an anti-perspirant as infrequently as possible helped with the build-up problem a lot. I also continue using baking soda paste every now and then when I feel extra gross.

The remaining problem is that my armpits are BLACK! And this is where I need to call on the mighty internets to SAVE MY ARMPITS!

I wear a lot of black, and I sweat, so my shirts make my armpits dark, and I HATE IT! No matter what I've tried, I can not get the black out! I thought this was because of the deodorant build-up, and that, if I could get that under control, the black armpits would automatically go away, but NOT SO.

Again with the googling, and I haven't found a solution that I haven't already tried. 

So tell me... do you have this problem? Do you have a solution? Can you SAVE MY ARMPITS?

And most importantly...

Will you still be my friend even though you know WAY TOO MUCH about my armpits?


8 comments:

heidikins said...

Dude, every couple of days I exfoliate my armpits. I find it makes shaving them easier and makes my deodorant work better. Nothing wrong with that. (And I use one of those exfoliating gloves, not a "softer" loofah.)

xox

Bethany said...

I have the dark pit problem too. I also have a crazy huge skin tag. Insurance won't cover the removal. My doctor said there is some prescription lightening cream out there. My insurance doesn't cover that either. Basically I make sure I wear sleeves that cover my pit area.

Also, when I was pregnant it got worse. Is that the situation for you too?

Jeanette said...

Girl, you totally crack me up!
I too am blessed with mostly hairless pits (thank heavens!) but I don't have the sweating issue. I do have the build up issue though. So frustrating.
I also have a big old skin tag. It's been there since I was little. My nephew was born with one, his doc tied apiece of fishing line around it and it eventually fell off. Have thought about trying that.

Britt said...

I've tried tying thread around it (i.e. having my husband tie thread around it), but I've never been able to get it to stay.

Cheyenne and Seth and Co. said...

I will most definitely be your friend. And I am so happy to know that I am not the only one who sweats like a pig. Sheesh. And P.S. I want you to have your baby now. I can't wait to find out what it is! And for you to have that awesome "I feel insanely lighter" feeling. Ahhhh, that's nice :)

Amy Sorensen said...

Dear Britt: I love you, despite your armpit issues. We all have them in one form or another! (Mine is ingrown hairs if you were curious. That & laziness and then I realize when I'm in the middle of my weight lifting class that I probably should've made myself find my razor & shave the other day. That or worn a different shirt.)

I have no solution, other than to say I love, love, adore the Dove brand of the used-to-be-a-prescription-strength deodorant. When I started taking thyroid medication I all of a sudden started sweating. Like...I don't think I have ever sweated before. Switched to that and have returned to my sweat-free ways.

JB said...

I commented the other day, but it must not have done through, weird. Have you just noticed the black/darkening while pregnant? I ask because both my pregnancies my under arms did the same thing, and I asked my doctor about it this second pregnancy because it was so weird. He said it can be hormonal changes that cause it, and that it probably would go away after I gave birth. Sure enough, about 2 months after having my baby, I realised that they had lightened back up to their normal skin tone color.

Britt said...

I hope it's from pregnancy! That would be GREAT!! I can't remember what life was like before I was pregnant.