Sunday, July 28, 2019

He Said, She Said, They Said, We Said

I keep several notes on my phone of things I want to remember. I have a list of books I want to read, a collection of ideas for blog posts that I never end up writing, a description of camp spots I want to reserve, and more. One of my notes is a list of funny things my kids say.

Please note that in this photo, I had just said, 'Everyone stick your heads
in so I can take a picture.' Three of four understood what I meant.

Here are some of the things they've said in 2019 that have made me laugh (my only regret is that a note on a phone can never capture the sound of their little voices - which is 75% of what makes the things they say so funny):

"I'm going to use this to exercise every day!" -Daisy, about her electric scooter

"I hate that I don't have ghost legs." -Nicky, after having to move his legs to let someone walk past our stadium seats

"Look out the window and close your eyes!" -Scotty, giving the kids advice on how to stay busy in the car

"Ew! My chicken has fish in it!" -Eva, when served fish sticks

"Another one rides the bus..." -Nicky, singing Queen


Scotty: The only Fornite dance I know of is Yellow Mambo #5.

Nicky: You mean Orange Justice?

Scotty: Yeah, that one.


"A boy at school has a crush on me even though I pick my nose!" -Zoe

"Mom, if you have a heart attack, can I have your phone?" -Daisy

"My favorite Holiday is No Going To Church Day." -Zoe

"I really like your eyebrows, Mom!" -Eva, while petting my eyebrows


Me: Zoe, you need to put your dinner dishes away.

Zoe: I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear.

Daisy: Mom, is today the 25th?

Me: Nope, it's the 24th, and facebook says it's J-Lo's birthday.

Nicky: Really? It's J-Lo's birthday? Happy 100th birthday, Jennifer Lopez!


Zoe: Eva, what should you do if you go camping, and there's a bear hiding in the bushes by your tent, and it wants to eat your family?

Eva: I will say, "Please give me my family back!"

Zoe: Wrong! You will say, "Please don't eat my family! I love them just the way they are!"


"If there is a kid at school, and no one wants to be his friend because he smells like poop, you should go up to him and say, 'Don't worry! Sometimes I smell like poop, too!'" -Zoe

"Saying prayers is not really my thing." -Zoe

Friday, July 26, 2019

The God Gave Me a Honey Bucket Story

People often say that God has a sense of humor.

Recently I found myself in a bit a predicament. I was driving through a canyon, and I needed to go to the bathroom really bad. I was experiencing the accompanying discomfort and looking forward to exiting the canyon to explore the vast array of gas stations, fast food restaurants, and grocery stores wherein I might use the facilities.

But then I had a thought... if God loves me, He will provide a Honey Bucket on the side of the road. I toyed around with the idea of issuing Him this challenge - God, if you really love me, send me a Honey Bucket - but I know better. I don't mess with God and ultimatums. So I didn't order a Honey Bucket, but I did send a few thoughts heavenward to let God know that if He did happen to send me a Honey Bucket, I would be very grateful, and I'd be able to share the "God gave me a Honey Bucket Story" for the rest of my life.

A few minutes later, there it was!

A Honey Bucket on the side of the road!

The other side of the road.

As in across the highway divided by a concrete barrier.

So yeah, God has a sense of humor.


Now that I've posted an abnormal amount of stories about Honey Buckets in a small amount of time, I promise no more until at least August.

Monday, July 22, 2019

Currently {July 2019 Edition}

Reading: Lie to Me by J.T. Ellison, A Case for the Book of Mormon by Tad Callister, and Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Resch. I've been in a real reading rut lately. I haven't finished a book since April. I started A Case for the Book of Mormon in April and then haven't picked it up again until now. I have been reading Intuitive Eating for over a year, but that's a good thing because it's meant to be read and implemented over time and not rushed through.

Watching: I don't even want to tell you - it's too embarrassing.

Singing: "This Is Me." I saw a post about Keala Settle being at the Grand Californian this morning.

Stressing about: Junior high. Because my son is going to junior high. And I can't even.

Wearing: my bathrobe. Because I just got out of the shower. My bathrobe was on clearance at IKEA, and it's green. So I look like the Jolly Green Giant with a hair turban.

Craving: sleep. It's 9:06 a.m. and I've already attempted to nap, but I was brutally awoken by a child who wanted a sippy cup of  milk.

Excited for: a lunch date with Scotty in two hours. These days our dates mostly consist of going to the grocery store without the kids. I'm grateful that we've reached the phase in life where we can do that, but it's all we can fit in as far as spending time alone together. So an actual date, quick as it will be, is a real treat!

Trying: to ignore the fact that my kid are downstairs doing pancake art challenges and probably making a huge mess that I'll spend hours fighting them to clean up.

Feeling: tired and run down, which is really sad because that's what I wrote the last time I did this, and I really don't want to feel tired and run down so consistently.

I guess I can also say I feel guilty, which isn't much better, but at least it's slightly different. I feel guilty for having such a good life while it seems everyone around me is deeply struggling. I'm struggling, too, but not in the ways some of my friends and neighbors are.

Suffering from: sweat. Tis the season. If I so much as blink, I start sweating.

Buying: only what I need... in theory.

Annoyed by: everything. Yesterday I told Scotty that I need to go to the mountains for two weeks to get away from society and detox.

Missing: Hugh Jackman.

Loving: that my kids are getting old enough to play board games and actually challenge me. Nicky beats me at Splendor all the time, and the other day he beat me at Catan. Last week we found Super Scrabble at the thrift store, which is amazing because it's hard to find a functional Scrabble board at a thrift store (the tiles are always missing) let alone, a super-sized one! I taught him how to play and allowed him to use an online dictionary to help him find words. He was pretty excited about "poop," though he didn't actually get to play the word.

Frustrated by: public shaming as a societal norm. I am so tired of people turning to the internet to mock and degrade each other. I think one of the biggest ailments of our time is the lack of forgiveness and compassion we have for one another. And I'm just as guilty as anyone else.

Learning: nothing. I can feel myself getting dumber as summer goes on.

Thankful for: my mind. One of my biggest fears (of which I have a million) is traumatic brain injuries, and I am always thinking about what it would be like if I (or someone I loved) had an injury or illness that affected personality or memory. I thank God regularly for being of sound mind.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Before We Sell

Since we recently bought a truck, we're in the process of selling Scotty's car (the buyer is coming to pick it up this afternoon). Earlier this week, Scotty cleaned out the car, and as usual, some pretty interesting items surfaced...

Like three headlamps...

Three pairs of work gloves...

Tons of tools (this photo only shows a small portion)...

Several golf balls and pieces of rope...

His toothbrush from his most recent dental appointment...

A poncho and toilet paper...

A work lamp...

A selection of free t-shirts, hats, and drawstring backpacks...

My tin cup from trek (plus two more tin cups)...

Outdoor wiring...

and a can of butane.

Most people put their car in a garage. Scotty puts the garage in his car.

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Christmas in July

For Christmas last year, Scotty (kind of) bought me Hugh Jackman tickets. I say "kind of" because I caused a few problems. You see, Scotty and Brian (my friend Christie's husband) had secretly conspired to buy us the tickets, but Christie and I had also secretly conspired to buy ourselves tickets. So Scotty and were both online trying to by tickets... for me.

Scotty will tell you that I am not fun to buy gifts for. I confess, I don't make it easy. 

Luckily Scotty caught on that I was trying to buy tickets, so he told me that he wanted to get them for me for Christmas. I then had to tell Christie that she was getting a ticket from Brian for Christmas. And then I told Scotty to buy four because I knew I would have at least two other friends who would want to come!

The tickets were purchased in early December, and then we waited the long seven months until July 11th.

Our friends Carlie and Lynsie joined us for the concert, and you guys!



It was just really, really good. 

So good, in fact, that the minute I got home, I looked up tickets for the next night's show (after we bought tickets, they announced a second date). I would have done it! I would have bought tickets for the second night!

And there were several options still available!

The thing that stopped me was the fact that Scotty was out of town, and I didn't feel like it would be right for me to ask someone to watch my kids so I could go see Hugh Jackman for a second night in a row. 

But Christie went the second night. With floor seats! (never in my life have I wanted floor seats at a concert until this. This is the one I should have been on the floor for!)

I suffered the greatest FOMO of my life. 

He was amazing! What a talented and gracious man! 

And so easy on the eyes. 

One night of Hugh Jackman will never be enough. 




Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Unusual Asks

My house is filthy, and I have so much stuff I need to work on, but I'm giving myself a break. Daisy is outside painting with a friend, and Zoe and Eva are at a neighbor's house for a minute, so I'm just gonna go ahead and sit here and blog in the silence. I haven't experienced "quiet" in a really long time. My summer soundtrack has been a chorus of, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" with the cacophony of fighting in the background.

Might I add that I can smell urine where I'm currently sitting? Which means Eva must have peed on the couch at some point this week. I guess I have some shampooing to do today. The fun never ends at the Brittish household.

(At this point in my writing, I closed my lap top and passed out on my couch - with my head on the opposite end from the pee, of course. I have since awoken, started a load of laundry and hand washed a sink full of dishes. Then, while putting the dishes away, I saw how gross the floor under my oven drawer was, so I pulled it out and swept under it. Now I'm ready for a second nap).

Since I'm in a writing mood, but I don't really have anything to write about, I thought I'd do another quick questionnaire from the internet. This one was titled "Unusual Asks," and I already picked a few questions to eliminate for stupidity.

1. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a bus driver or a taxi driver. I'm kind of glad I didn't pursue those paths.

2. Which "Friends" character do you relate to the most?

I've never thought about it before, but probably Chandler. I'm a little bit sarcastic, sometimes to the point of rudeness (I've gotten better over the years, though). I'm always sneaking my addictions - for him it's cigarettes, for me it's Coke (the cola, people!), and I'm not always socially savvy. Plus, I've let a duck live in my house before.

3. Are you a messy or a clean person?

Messy. Hands down.

4. How tall are you?


5. How tall were you when you were ten?

I have no idea. But I remember I was 4'2" when I was in second grade.

6. What is your guilty pleasure?

Eating toast in bed while watching Netflix.

7. What are you saving money for right now?

A trip to San Francisco.

8. How many Pringles can you eat all at once?

Oh, I can eat a whole can and then some. But what flavor are we talkin' bout?

9. Tea or coffee?

I think I'd make a mighty fine coffee drinker.

10. Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

I think I'm an ambivert.

11. Sweet or salty?


12.  Favorite social media?

I only use Facebook and Instagram. Instagram is just for convenience of doing Chatbooks. I only follow a handful of family and close friends. I wouldn't consider either of them my "favorite."

13. Who is the last person you kissed?

Are we talkin' lips? If so, that's Scotty. Otherwise, probably one of my girls.

14. What is your favorite breakfast?

Probably biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, and orange juice.

15. When is your birthday?

January 1st

16. When did you start your blog?

August 2005. My original blog was called Weekday Wisdom.

17. What is your opinion of the Kardashians?

First, that is a really random question.

Second, I can't say I've given them enough attention to have an opinion, but things don't look favorable in my limited view of them.

18. How would you describe your style?

"Tired Mormon Mom"

19. What color is your hair?

Naturally, it's light brown, I guess. Right now it's brown with highlights.

20. What color of socks are you wearing?


It's lucky you asked while I was actually wearing some! Being summer and all.

21. What is your dream job?

Marriage and family therapist by day, choreographer and author by night. With a side of inspirational speaking and podcasting.

22. Dogs or cats?


23. What makes you weird?

I'm a morning person. Practically alien.

24. Celebrity crush?

I don't know. I'm kind of celebrity confused right now. But Hugh Jackman is always on the list. And Richard Armitage (who looks like Hugh Jackman's brother) is quite a looker as well. Occasionally I have a Chris Pratt thing. Oh! And then there's my weird guy crush... James McAvoy. I used to love Adam Levine, but my affection is dwindling. He's still handsome, and I love that falsetto, but I'm troubled by his lack of dancing skills when he says he has the "Moves like Jagger." Then again, Jagger's moves aren't that impressive. They're twitchy and awkward. I'm aware that the song might not be referencing dancing, but according to Wikipedia, it is.

25. Opinion on cigarettes?

I tend to avoid them.

Monday, July 8, 2019

My Phobias

A few weeks ago I wrote about some of my fears. As of last weekend, I have a new one: passing out in a hot porta-potty. This new fear came while using a Honey Bucket in 90 degree weather at my in-laws' campground. I was in there thinking, "Wow, it's really hot in here. What if I pass out? How long would it take for them to find me?" No one knew I was in the Honey Bucket. I suddenly became aware of the lack of air flow and the tightness of the walls. The Honey Bucket became a death trap. I thought, "I should text Scotty and let him know I'm in here," but I didn't have service.

Really, I have no reason to worry about passing out - I've never passed out in my life. But being in tight quarters with no air flow brings on panic and gets my imagination riled up. I'm moderately claustrophobic. From day to day, it's not really a big deal, but on the occasion I find myself in a small or closed-in space, I can easily make a fool of myself.

There was a day in primary when I was leading the music, and someone closed the door to the room. I prefer the door open, but normally, I am ok if the door is closed if I take a few deep breaths to remind myself that I have plenty of air. On that particular day, though, it made me panic. The room was hot and fuller than normal. I had to fight to not abandon my lesson and run out of the room and through the back door of the church for fresh air. The second singing time ended, that's exactly what I did.

There's another phobia I want to talk about today, though. It's one I've always had, but I didn't know the term for it until recently: trypophobia. (You're gonna have to google that one on your own. I can't give you a link because I don't want to see the images that come up). I've always had this "thing," but I never would have considered it a "phobia" because it's not necessarily a "fear." 

Trypophobia is having a disgust response to tiny holes. If it happens to you, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If it doesn't happen to you, it will sound crazy.

I first became aware of it when I was about 12 years old, and I tried Easy Mac for the first time. I microwaved the noodles, and they all turned on end so the holes were all facing upward. I looked at them and felt really yucky. I couldn't stop picturing it afterward - the visual was just stuck there in my mind. From then on, I've been very aware that patterns of tiny holes make me feel sick - things like strawberries with their tiny seed holes (shudder) and wasp nests with their little caves (shudder) all make me feel really gross, sometimes to the point of shaking (literal shudder).

(I eat strawberries just fine, but I can't look closely at them. If I do, I get that yucky feeling and then I get fixated on them and can't stop picturing them).

When we were camping last week, I had to face my claustrophobia in the Honey Bucket, but I also had to face my trypophobia when one of my nieces found a rock with tiny holes in it and left it sitting on the picnic table. I kept glancing at it and thinking, "I have to get rid of that thing!" I ended up turning it over. But first I held it up to my niece and said, "Does looking at this rock make you feel yucky?"

She said no and looked at me like I was nuts. 

Apparently trypophobia has been a popular social media topic in the past. Somehow I missed that wave, but it's nice to have a word for it and to know that there are people who have the same reaction. We can be nuts together!

Sunday, July 7, 2019


Summer is keeping us busy with wonderful things as well as stressful things. Here's a quick rundown of what's happened in the past six weeks:

We've been getting as much swimming time in at my mom's house as possible. She is moving (spoiler alert - she moves by the end of this post), and the pool isn't coming. 

Last week I was in a hurry early in the morning, and I was trying to make a pasta salad to take to the lake. I turned on the wrong burner and had some containers from my fridge sitting there. Long story short... I almost burned the house down. 

Sidewalk chalk paint is always on our summer bucket list (our hypothetical bucket list - I don't make an actual bucket list cause who has the diligence to follow through with stuff like that?) 

Equal parts cornstarch and water + a few drops of food coloring. I always mix up a big pitcher of it and then pour it into cups and let the kids add their own color. 

I bought this little chest at the thrift store and painted it (possible reveal in another post? Another spoiler alert: it's white and boring). My girls all fought over it, but I gave it to Daisy to store her 5,001 Beanie Boos in. 

My mother-in-law (I have two - it's good to take note of this since I reference my in-laws a lot in this post, and I'm talking about two entirely different families) has a sleepover for the grandkids every summer. This year she did a farm theme, and she hired a petting zoo! 

I sat back until all the kids had their turn (just being well-behaved and stuff), and then I climbed in the caged area and snuggled a baby goat. He was only a week old. 

A few weeks ago, my other in-laws spontaneously decided to do a service mission at a girls camp. Within two weeks, they had packed up and left for the mountains. Grandpa gave all the kids a ride on his motorcycle before he left.

{Eva & Grandpa on the Harley trike - the only motorcycle I want her on}

Oh! And Scotty bought his step-dad's other motorcycle. because when you're serving a mission, you don't really need two motorcycles!

I am mildly obsessed with my new nephews. 

I should probably go visit them soon.

Their mama had surgery last week, so I babysat them while she was at the hospital. Two newborns! At my house!!! Such heaven! 

On the day I almost burned my house down, we went to the lake with my in-laws (the petting zoo ones). It was our first journey with the kayaks this year. The weather wasn't ideal - it was quite windy, but we had fun anyway! Zoe spent the day retrieving everyone's lost inflatables and returning them. 

Since all our sunscreen was applied in the wind, we ended up with some wild tan lines. Some parts of my neck and shoulders were absolutely fried! I had tiny blisters. I'm still in pain. 

Since my kids are growing like weeds, they are acquiring more surface area to be sunscreened every year. We've already gone through two packages of Sam's Club sunscreen (that's $14.98 x 2). Last week I found a bunch of sunscreen two-packs for $5 in the clearance cart at Smith's. I think we are set for the rest of the summer... maybe...

Scotty's birthday was last week. He turned 38. I wanted to plan a surprise date, so I got a babysitter and packed PB&J (we are so gourmet), and we went kayaking. 

We took turns rowing each other across the lake and timing ourselves. My time was 2:30, his was 2:15 (for future reference). It's just a small community reservoir. 

Also, I have since cut Scotty's hair. 

Meanwhile at the babysitter's house...

My friend Carlie, and I have kids all the same ages and opposite gender, so we have big plans. Eva and Magnus are starting to warm up to each other a little more now that they are getting older. All our other kids took a few years before they would play with each other.

For the 4th of July, we went to the girls camp where Scotty's parents are serving their mission. They don't book the camp over the holiday, so we had the place to ourselves. I think we are really going to enjoy this perk over the next few years!

Here's the family playing human Foosball.

We also played Gaga Ball and rode ATVs. The kids enjoyed an abundance of freedom. 

{Eva & me in the side x side}

We were going to stop at a concert on the way home from camping, but my in-laws' trailer ended up having some septic tank issues, and Scotty had to help deal with the "crappy situation." We missed the concert, so we stopped for dinner at Billy Blancos in Park City instead. 

The decor inside is really fun - it's all done in cars and motorcycles. Here's a box of grease rags in the bathroom to dry your hands:

While we were eating, it started pouring rain and got windy and cold. That's not what the 4th of July is usually like here, so it was really weird. 

All of our stuff in the back of the truck got rained on. 

By the way, we bought a truck a few weeks ago. We haven't had one since Nicky was a baby, save for one year when Scotty had a work truck. We've wanted one for a while, but it wasn't a priority. The stars aligned, and we were able to find one that was reasonably priced and can fit our whole family. We have loved having it. We don't know how we lived without a truck for so long. 

Speaking of purchases, I bought a box of 200 at Sam's Club last week. Despite my hatred for Otter Pops, it's nice having hundreds of popsicles in stock for when neighbor kids and cousins come over. You win some, you lose some. 

This past weekend, my mom moved into her new house, and we said good-bye to this place:

When I first heard she was moving, I was really sad about it, but I've had a year to get used to it. I realized I didn't live in this house very long, anyway. Only the three years before I got married. And I lived there with a step-dad with whom I don't have the greatest memories, so there are some advantages to leaving it behind. It's one of the final ties to him that can be severed. 

It's really hard to walk away from the pool though. I don't even like swimming, but my mom has had a pool for over 20 years, and I have four kids who have enjoyed that perk. 

On our last night at my mom's house, we sat on the floor and ate pizza and drank Pepsi out of the only cups left in the house!

My mom needs a China intervention. She has so many sets of China and dishes. I told her she has a problem. She also has a lot of  cake stands and cat food bowls, and I think I found a can of Raid in every fourth box I unpacked at her new house. 

For the first few weeks of summer, I babysat my nephew three times a week. That just ended last week, so now I have a bit more freedom. 

I haven't officially retired from my wood crafts, even though I planned to. I came across some more wood, so I'm going to make a few more things. 

This was a custom order I finished last week:

As of today, we've survived six weeks of summer break, and we have six more to go! There are things I like about having my kids home from school, and there are things that are really hard. I feel like this summer has been more chaotic than normal, but I'm not entirely sure why. It might have to do with my kids getting older and doing so many separate things. Until this year, most of our summers have been spent with the kids and me all together (which has it's pros and cons), but this year, everyone is going different directions every day. It takes a new degree of calendaring and time management.