It's May

Every year, it's tradition for many of my friends to send me Justin Timberlake "It's gonna be May" memes." This has gone on for so long, that if I haven't received any by April 28th, I start to get nervous. Luckily, they always pull through.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... May is cray.

(Just my annual reminder to everyone in the world... don't get married in May!)

(Also, I just have to point out how outdated I am with my Justin Timberlake memes and my use of the term "cray" - which I only use to make fun of the term "cray," but then I have to laugh at how making fun of words ends up making them part of your vocabulary, and in the end - the stupid words win!)

So May is upon us, which means stress is upon us. But there's one thing that's very exciting to me about May: it means the final birthday poster for the school year!

Ten years ago, my kids started at a brand new school, and the PTA president asked me to make a monthly poster for the students' birthdays. I got to have a break during COVID, but now I'm back at it. Last week, I did the final poster for the year and skipped out of the building with my head held high. Bring on summer break! (Break from the birthday posters, that is. I'm scared to death - as usual - of having my kids home for three months). 

Here are all of the posters I made this year:

September

Pete the Cat and his Four Groovy Buttons

This year, I wasn't feeling very creative, so I started re-doing posters from past years. This is one I had done before. I had to start from scratch, though. Part of me wishes I'd saved all the posters from past years so I can re-use parts of them, but the other part of me is unwilling to store them. Also, after being rolled up, they're not always in good shape anyway.

October

Haunted Mansion

This is one case where I was able to re-use an old poster. I painted this Haunted Mansion poster for a trunk or treat a couple of years ago, and I re-vamped it as a birthday poster. It was a little wrinkly, as you can see, but it worked.

November

Sponge Bob 

This one was fun and new and probably my favorite poster of the year. 

December

Penguin

This was another recycled idea. I made this penguin several years ago, and Zoe insisted on bringing it home and hanging it on her bedroom wall. I reclaimed it, added a scarf, and made a poster. 

January 

Rocket Ship

Not much to say about this one. 

February

Groundhog Day

You may recall that I have a daughter who's obsessed with Groundhog Day. Zoe really wanted me to make a groundhog poster in February, so I obliged. I even made an extra groundhog so she could hang one in her room. She ended up taking this one, too, so there are TWO groundhogs hanging on her bedroom door. 

March

The Madness

This is anther poster I'd done in the past. I had to ask Scotty if March Madness still exists (it does) before I made it. 

April

Popcorn

This is another re-do from a past year. Not my favorite. My first one was better, but I remember not liking that one, either. 

May

May the Fourth be With You

And finally... it's May. And another poster re-do. 

Draft Week: Post #6 "Faith Over Fear"

It's Day Six of Draft Week, so here's another post from my draft folder. 

This post comes from October 2019, and it's interesting to think of everything that has happened in the Church and in the world since then. In this post, I wrote a bit about faith over fear, and it's amazing how much I've had to draw on that concept during the past four years.

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Now that it's October and I'm no longer doing a writing challenge, I don't remember how to blog. I really feeling like writing, though. I have so much to say and nothing to say at all, so I don't know where this is going. Let's call it a 20 minute brain dump - everything that falls out of my brain before my timer goes off. 

Begin.

Over the weekend, my Church hosted its semi-annual General Conference. I have a confession, I am among those who struggle with General Conference. I've taken some time to explore why this is, and I think I've come up with some explanations for my wrestle (I can't speak for others, but I'm sure there are many people out there who can relate to my reasons). I think for me it boils down to fear. 

If you recall, a big theme in my spiritual learning for the past year has been FAITH OVER FEAR. On Saturday morning, as Conference was about to begin, I was feeling a bit tormented, so I knelt down and prayed. Soon after I ended my petition, I remembered the wording on the sign I recently bought from Ross:

I realized in that moment that I was approaching General Conference with FEAR. 

What kind of FEAR, exactly?

FEAR of change

There have been a lot of changes in our Church in the past few years, and sometimes I don't have the energy to keep up.

FEAR of the buzzwords

This is so petty, and I shouldn't even say anything, but I get annoyed with the jargon. "Ministering," "Come Follow Me," and "Gathering Israel" to name a few. And then there's the one from twelve years ago that just won't go away! "Good, Better, and Best!" 

FEAR of feeling unworthy or not good enough

Please know that I personally believe that it is never a Conference speaker's intent to make anyone feel this way, but it's a very natural reaction to the high standards laid before us during Conference. 

(There goes my twenty minute timer. Who am I kidding? I can't accomplish anything in twenty minutes. Especially with how much parenting I've had to do). 

A similar fear is that I will feel nothing. However, I am learning to embrace the feelings that come from the Spirit when they come and in whatever size or form - big, small, loud, soft, quick, or slow.

FEAR of what others think

I belong to a Church that's always under scrutiny from many angles. I hear and see constant messages of criticism from strangers and loved ones alike. Some are warranted. Others are not. 

I have my own thoughts and feelings about things - my own struggles and wrestles (let this post be proof of that), but I believe. I really do. As I believe, though, those voices and those critiques are always with me, and they are ever present in the back of my mind during General Conference.  

On Saturday, after I prayed, I felt prompted to acknowledge my FEAR, and then let it go. 

Easier said than done, really. But as soon as I acknowledged my FEAR, I really was able to set it aside for a while. I had to be conscious of it creeping back in, but I was in a place of FAITH as I listened on Saturday, and some amazing things happened. Namely, I was able to see that I had been prepared for Saturday's messages. Just last week I finished reading The Priesthood Power of Women by Barbara Morgan Gardner. 

I really like her. Confession, though: a lot of that book went over my head. "Priesthood" is a topic that makes me glaze over. But it still stimulated my intellect and put some thoughts in my head that made me very attentive to President Nelson's talk at the women's session. Interestingly, I had also read D&C 84 the Thursday before Conference while I was at the temple. 

Do you know what's awesome? When the prophet asks you to do something, and you already did it two days ago. 

I was also very pleased to hear Dallin H. Oaks quote D. Todd Christofferson:

It should be remembered that not every statement made by a Church leader, past or present, necessarily constitutes doctrine. It is* commonly understood in the Church that a statement made by one leader on a single occasion often represents a personal, though well considered, opinion, not meant to be official or binding for the whole Church. 

This was significant to me because it was also shared in the book Seekers Wanted that I wrote about last month. 

*I would change this to say it should be commonly understood in the Church because I'm not sure it "is."

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I think the reason this post never saw the light of day is because I worried that I was being critical of the Church. But all these years later, as I read it, I feel like I was just being open and honest about a personal struggle. In hindsight, I can see that I learned something valuable at the time I wrote this. I still think about "faith over fear" whenever it's time for General Conference, and it helps me a lot. 

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (part XIII)

Welcome to Day Five of Draft Week. 

I always have a running draft of awkward situations in the works. I save up until it’s long enough to post, and what better time is there to click publish than during the made-up event of Draft Week? Let the awkwardness begin…

(Does the fact that this is my thirteenth edition of “awkward” posts give anyone an idea of just how awkward my life is? I keep thinking that these lists will dwindle down over time, but no! I have ever-flowing content).

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When you're using a one-person restroom at a food establishment, and you need a minute, but there's an entire family outside the door waiting to storm the premises. 

When everyone is getting ready for the dance concert and talking about how cute the Wednesday and Pugsley costumes are, but you thought they were pilgrims and pirates. 

When you have a moment where you're the center of attention, and you kind of love it, and you're like OHMYGOSHAMIANEXTROVERT??? 

(You're not).

When someone doesn't yield for you as a pedestrian in a parking lot, but then she drives by and enthusiastically waves... because she's you're sister-in-law.

When your friend has a twin, and you see the twin at the grocery store, and the twin doesn't know you, and you have to remind yourself this each time you turn down an aisle and walk past her, and she doesn't say hello.

When you're at a restaurant and the lady in the booth behind you is talking in depth about her dog's vomit (it was yellow. He ate a pencil).

When you sell your car to your neighbor, and it breaks down the first time they drive it.

When you're fishing your locker key out of your bra at the gym, and someone walks around the corner and makes eye contact with you. 

When someone says, "If you know, you know." And you really don't know. In fact, you don't even know enough to google it later so you can know.

And last but not least...

When you see a condom package sitting on the ping pong table at the gym, and you really want to remove it, but you don't want anyone to see you take it, but twenty minutes later it's still there, and you feel responsible for keeping the facility family-friendly, so you subtly swipe it into your hand and straight into the garbage, but as you walk away, you realize a child could be born because of you, and you don't know if that child will be a blessing or a curse to the world. 

 

Draft Week: Post #4 "Teens and Me"

Welcome to Day Four of Draft Week. Not to be confused with anything regarding the NFL. We don't care about that around here.

Here's another post dug from my draft folder. This one comes from October 20 of last year.

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Right now, teenagers are kind of central to my life. I have two of my own, and then I work with the teenage girls in my Church. As time goes on, I realize more and more that they do not think I'm cool. Now, please understand that I don't expect them to think I'm cool in the way they think their peers are cool - the "coolness" I seek is of the "pretty fly for a white guy" variety. I just wanna be cool for a person of a former generation. 

But they are not amused by me. 

Actual footage of me trying to convince teens that I have anything to offer

The things I think they will like - they don't. The things I think they will think are funny - they don’t. 

The other day, I took some teenagers to Wendy's (my treat), and I was all, "Heck yeah! 4 for $4's for everyone!" and I was expecting them to be like, "Yes!!! 4 for $4's!!!" but instead, they're all, "I just want nuggets!" and I was like, "But for only $2 more, you can have nuggets, and a cheeseburger and fries and a drink!" and they were like:

So I was like, "Okay... I'm still getting 4 for $4's for everyone, and I'll take 3 of your 4's, and ya'll can have your little box-o-nuggets."

I ate a lot of burgers and fries that day.

Draft Week: Post #3 "For Such a Time As This"

Welcome to Day Three of Draft Week. 

This post from my draft folder comes from August 20, 2022. I’m not sure why I never finished it, but this continues to be a sensitive issue for me. Just last week, we had a heavy conversation along these lines with my in-laws. 

Some of the information in this post is now out-of-date, but I’m going to leave it as-is. 

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A few weeks ago I came away from a Church meeting feeling very heavy hearted from some comments that were made by some of the older members of the group. The majority of their discussion was aimed toward how terrible our world is today - how corrupt our nation is, how lazy our children are, how immoral society has become, and how misaligned our values are. While I agree that our world is a difficult place, it's not helpful for me as a parent or a Christian to sit in a Church meeting that makes me feel so hopeless. After all, I have to survive here and raise my children now. 

I know how horrible the world is - I wrestle with it every day - but I need to feel like there's hope for the future and hope for my children. I need to leave Church feeling uplifted. Plus, when all the commentary is directed toward censuring the current state of society, I take it a bit personally because this is my time. 

I came away from that meeting wishing that I could have turned the focus of the lesson toward the wonderful, miraculous things that are going on in our current era - the things that all of us, young and old - are taking part in. I tried to push the commentary in this direction, but it didn't take. Habitually the discussion dominators steered us right back to the weak, the bad, and the ugly. 

With all of this said, I realize that I’m not entirely innocent. The older I get, the more I adopt a “kids these days!” mentality where I think everything about my generation is the way things should be, and everything modern and new is poopoo (ya’ll know you didn’t invent the hair claw, right?), so even though the commentary is upsetting to me at times, I understand what drives it.

There's a paragraph from a Gospel Principles lesson that has always stuck with me. It says:

"Our Father in Heaven knows who we are and what we did before we came here. He has chosen the time and place for each of us to be born so we can learn the lessons we personally need and do the most good with our individual talents and personalities."

So far, the time and place for me to 1) learn the lessons I personally need and 2) do the most good with my individual talents and personality has been from 1984-2023 in Salt Lake County, Utah. 

I don't know all the reasons I was chosen to experience mortality during this particular era, but in many ways, it seems like a good fit. As I did my Come Follow Me reading this week, which is focused on Queen Esther, a pondering point from the manual stuck with me. It says: 

"Ponder how [the Lord] has has guided your life in ways that allow you to bless others. What are some circumstances or relationships that you feel He has guided you to for such a time as this? (Esther 4:14) If you have a patriarchal blessing, consider reading it to learn more about the work the Lord has for you to do." 

Queen Esther by Minerva Teichert, 1939

From a Church standpoint, here are some wonderful things that are happening in our time that can give us hope:

We have an amazing prophet for our day - President Russell M. Nelson. He is brilliant, sincere, healthy, and loving. 

We have temples all over the world that are being built with increasing speed. President Nelson has announced 100 new temples since 2018. We have 282 temples in operation, under construction, or announced (HERE are some interesting statistics to enjoy).

Our Church has become more focused on Christ and covenants. The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet my mother-in-law grew up with was entirely focused on appearance and behavior in public - highly centered on image and what people think of you. The modern For the Strength of Youth pamphlet is focused on growing closer to the Savior. 

(Two months after I wrote this, the new For the Strength of Youth Guide was introduced in General Conference, which focuses even more on growing closer to the Savior). 

FTSOY over time (I used the 1990 version for most of my youth, and the 2001 version came out right before I left Young Women)

The newest FTSOY Guide (2022)

We have miraculous technologies and excellent learning and communication abilities. Our gospel learning opportunities are greater than ever as we have immediate access to hundreds of years of study materials and cross referencing. When the prophet speaks, we have transcripts and videos at our fingertips instantly. We have every resource to become gospel scholars. 

Many errors in Church teachings and policies from the past are being or have been corrected or addressed. 

Women have taken on more roles in the Church, both in lay ministry and in careers. 

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I never finished this post, but my thoughts on the topic remain in tact. I feel like opposition grows equally in both directions over time, so if we are going to become a more righteous, Christlike people, the evil we face is going to become greater as well. It's imperative for me to be able to see the good in the world and to experience hope and peace, especially as I raise children. Yes, this world is a difficult place, but it’s also pretty amazing.

Draft Week: Post #2 "Memories of Jobs Past"

Welcome to day two of Draft Week.

Today's draft was written back in March (not so long ago). I was watching Jeopardy when I remembered that my co-worker and friend from school, Travis, used to always be late to work because he refused to leave his house until after Final Jeopardy. I always really liked Travis... until I had to work late for him while he watched TV.  That got me thinking about some of my past jobs and some of the memories I have from them, and I started working on a blog post... and never finished. 

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Actual footage of me as an employee

The snow cone stand

The guy who was supposed to take over at the end of my shift was always late for work because he refused to miss Final Jeopardy.

(That would be Travis, as you recently learned).

That summer, snow cone stands were getting robbed nearly everyday. It was all over the news. Luckily, ours didn’t get robbed while I worked there. 

The Donut Shop

Customers specifically requested that I NOT make their coffee drinks because I was horrible at it. They were like, “I want an iced cappuccino, but I don’t want her to make it.”

We were eligible for a prize if we beat the donut prepping record. I beat it, but my boss refused to give me the prize because he said there’s no way I could have prepped the donuts faster than the boys. This man also said I had huge ears and a huge nose (Do you hear fire engines before everyone else?) but he had the gall to ask me if I had an older sister he could date. 

The Boutique

We specialized in Capodimonte (caw-po-duh-montay). I probably will never meet another human on this earth who even knows what that is. Our merchandise sat on the floor for years and years! No one in West Valley City, Utah needs Capodimonte in their lives.

The Dairy

We had to charge ten cents for cups for ice cream, and there was a lady who always tried to get her cup for free by asking for it AFTER she paid. She’s in my ward now.

I always sang in the milk cooler because I sounded amazing in there! 

The Special Education School

One of our students loved Christopher Reeve, and everyday he would stop by my desk to tell me that Christopher Reeve had died, and everyday, I would act like I was hearing this news for the first time. 

We had a student in an electric wheelchair that I would always avoid in the halls because he frequently rammed into me. One time he pinned me against the wall, and I had to yell for help because he couldn't get his chair to reverse to set me free. Every time he tried, he would just press my legs tighter to the wall. 

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Looking back on my jobs of the past, I realize I don't have a very prestigious resume. I did make a mighty fine soft serve ice cream cone back in the day, though. That might be my go-to if I return to the work force someday. 

Draft Week: Post #1 "The Mom I Am"

A few times in the past, I've done a "Draft Week" on my blog where I publish some of the blog posts that I never finished. Last week, I took a look through my draft folder in Blogger and found quite a few unfinished posts. Some of them I never completed because I forgot about them. Others I never finished because I hit a wall and didn't know where to go from my stopping point. Some of them I was worried would hurt someone's feelings or might have been out of line in some way. Regardless of the reason, I have a lot of unfinished posts just sitting around, so I decided I'm due for another "Draft Week." Every day this week, I'll post something from my draft folder. I'll make a few edits here and there, but for the most part, these posts will remain incomplete.

(Aside: I am writing this post on Thursday, April 27, and the NFL draft happens to start tonight at 8:00. I think this is such a funny coincidence, and I only know about it because I accidentally typed "draft week" in the search bar on my browser when I meant to type it in the search bar on my blog so I could link back to a past "draft week"). 

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Let's start off with this post, which I titled, "The Mom I Am:"

I am not…

A “play with the kids” mom.

A PTA mom.

A hugging and kissing mom.

A birthday party mom.

A “fight for the front row” mom.

A sports mom.

A “stay up late” mom.

A swimming mom.

A class party mom.

An adventurous mom. 

I am…

A ride giving mom.

A back tickling mom.

A snack making mom.

A "give you space" mom.

A question asking mom.

A “feed your friends” mom.

A “bring a date” mom.

A photo taking mom.

A “small and simple surprises” mom.

A “meme sending” mom.

A reasonable mom.

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When I wrote this, I was thinking about all the things I don't really offer as a mom versus the things I do. There's a lot I'm not good at as a parent, but I hope I provide balance with what I am good at. Mostly, I just hope I'm the right gal for the job when it comes to these four kiddos I'm raising.