Fact #1: I'm currently in a funk. I think winter has gotten to me. I usually do okay during the winter (it's summer when I struggle - I'm just a backwards kind of person, I guess), but right now, I have a serious case of the "blahs" and the "don't wannas." I just want to sleep all day, shut everyone out of my life, watch animal videos online, and eat crap.
I'm not doing those things. But I want to.
(Except maybe the animal video thing. I've been excessive in my viewing lately).
Fact #2: Yesterday I dragged myself outside to walk around the block. I hated every second of it.
Stupid sunshine.
Stupid fresh air.
Fact #3: The horn on my van, to my detriment, only honks mean. This is so frustrating because there are times when I need to do a little, "Beep! Beep! Light's green!" to the person in front of me. Any time I try to "Beep! Beep" all friendly-like, my horn goes, "HOOOOOONK!!! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, YOU *!#$-ing *#@$! *&@^!"
Pardon my language, but that's exactly what my horn said to some poor man this morning on the way to school, and of course, it turned out that he was also going to my kids' school, so I took a different route so when we arrived, he would (hopefully) think I was a different lady who happened to be in the exact same kind of van that swore at him only moments prior.
I so wanted to get out of my car and knock on his window and explain that I wasn't trying to honk mean, but I have done that before (in the middle of an intersection at a red light), and people don't really respond well. I guess being honked at and then having someone knock on your window unexpectedly can be quite terrifying, and therefore, belongs on an Incomplete List of Awkward Situations on a blog somewhere.
Fact #4: In 2021, Zoe became captivated with Groundhog Day. For the past two years, she has insisted on dressing up like a groundhog for school. This worked very well because both years, she was wearing masks to school, so I just glued some buck teeth and a little nose to her mask and made her a groundhog hat.
A few days before Groundhog Day this year, she started talking about it again. I'd kind of forgotten that she has Groundhog Day expectations (I'm just glad I had a couple of days to prepare).
On February 1st, I made a paper groundhog and taped it to the window of the van to surprise Zoe when I picked her up from school.
That night, I made groundhog desserts and tucked Zoe into bed while she chanted, "Phil! Phil! Phil!"
Then on the morning of Groundhog Day, we colored groundhog hats and watched the Groundhog Day announcement... six more weeks of winter.
Fact #5: In addition to being in a funk, I am also in a reading rut. They might go hand in hand. Every now and then, I go through a phase where everything I'm reading is uninteresting. I can't focus, and I end up plowing through several books in a row that I can't recount. When this happens, the best thing for me to do is walk away from all of the books I have in progress and have a time-out. I made that decision this morning and sent my audiobook and my e-book back into the library vortex.
I now have a clean slate! But I musn't rush to fill it. The books will find me again when it's time.
Fact #6: I am still in love with my new dishwasher. Winter blues aside, hedonic adaptation has not set in yet on the existence of this new appliance in my life.
Fact #7: I’m having a good hair day today. Unfortunately, good hair doesn’t seem to ever last past the stoop of my front door. If I leave the house, I’ll go with false confidence and end up seeing a disheveled mess in the reflection of a store window. Why is hair so unfair?
Fact #8: Sometimes I wish I could be someone else for a while and then meet myself to see what I'm like. I want to have the opportunity to view myself from an outside perspective. I want to see how I present myself to other people and how it differs from how I see myself. Would I like me? Because here's the thing... I don't see myself as particularly likable.
Now, don't go feeling like you need to convince me that I'm likable. I'm not fishing for flattery here. I am likable... to an extent. In fact, I've made some acquaintances lately who really, really like me.
Seriously. They think I'm great.
But in the back of my mind, I'm going, "I hope they never get to know me well."
Because, in reality, I'm a difficult person. I'm ornery and easily annoyed. I have really high expectations of other people. I'm super critical, I don't work well with others, and I treat people like they're stupid.
Ouch, right?
And if you get to know me intimately, you have to deal with that side of me. Depending on the circumstances, that might be the first side of me you get to know. I feel like the Britt spectrum starts and ends with a difficult individual, and the sweet spot is in the middle where you know me just enough to see the good parts but not enough to see my nasty side.
Fact #9: Nothing stresses me out quite like a recipe that says "salt and pepper to taste." It’s too much responsibility. Just give me a recommendation, please!
Fact #10: I just stress-ate three pieces of toast. Maybe my dreams from Fact #1 are going to come true!
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