The Creature

One of our holiday stressors involved having a creature living in our ceiling for over a month.

Scotty spends a lot of nights on the couch (I'll just let you think what you will of that), and he started hearing something moving around and scratching in the ceiling above our bay window. Then one morning, while we were laying bed, we heard something running through the walls behind our heads. It didn't sound mouse-like. It sounded bigger - like a raccoon... or a mountain lion.

That day, Scotty started an attempt to end the problem. The part of the ceiling the creature lived in is hard to access, though. It took equipment. Cameras, selfie sticks, flashlights, and the like.

Scotty first tried putting some poison in the area - this being a good option because, supposedly, after a creature eats the poison, it seeks the outdoors for relief. The last thing I needed was a dead, rotting, mystery rodent somewhere in my walls or ceiling (it's a worst fear of mine).

A week later, we could still hear the beast playing in the ceiling.

Using a camera again, Scotty removed some siding from the outside of our house and took a video of the area. The animal wasn't there (I'm sure it runs from cell phones), but it left a trail of poopies, leading us to believe that we were dealing with a common mouse, except one that weighed twenty pounds and was a genius.

Scotty put four traps in the ceiling with peanut butter on them, and the mouse (or MOUSE, I should say) licked the traps clean without making them snap.

The following day, Scotty reset the traps and squished cheese very thoroughly around the triggers. The next night, we had success! Scotty retrieved the traps to find... the tiniest, dwarfiest mouse that ever did exist

Which means there must still be a mountain lion on the loose somewhere!

Ten Parenting Hacks: Realist Edition

Lately I've been seeing a lot of "parenting hacks" on the internet, and they kind of make me laugh. Don't get me wrong... about one in twenty hacks is actually useful, but a lot of them are just plain dumb.

Like the one that said, "Warm your kids clothes up before you put them on."

Thank you, whoever that was. Because if moms have time for anything, it's warming up their kids clothes before chasing them around the house for 12 minutes and pinning them down to wrestle their flailing limbs into sleeves.

Other "hacks" I've scoffed at...

• Dress your kids in the same clothes so you can find them easily in the store.

Because kids love being dressed alike. They really do. I know this because my kids have agreed to this... never. And heaven knows you have time to launder and prep coordinating clothes for every trip to Walmart!

• Buy underwear with cartoons on it because your potty training toddler won't want to pee on his favorite character. 

Really? Thanks, Internet. No one has ever thought of that in the history of potty training. And you're right! No kid would ever pee on Lightning McQueen. Especially not every damn day until he turns five!!!

• Add sprinkles to food your kids don't like

I tell you no lie - this one was accompanied by a picture of broccoli with sprinkles on it.

When I see these "hacks," I think, "These are cute, but let's get real!" So today I am offering ten real parenting hacks:

1. Let your kid wear the same outfit for a week straight. It won't save you on laundry because somehow your kid will manage to dirty 36 other pieces of clothing without ever changing outfits, but at least you won't have to get them ready every day.

2. Keep a snow shovel in the pantry. You can use it to shovel all your kids' stuff off the floor, and then you can flip the shovel over and use it to scrape the dried spaghetti off the kitchen linoleum.

3. Put apple juice in a syringe and give it to your kids, explaining that it is "special medicine" that makes them be good. Then sit back and take notes on the effects of the placebo. (Hint: it won't work, but it's something every parent needs to learn).

4. Every night, after your toddler goes to sleep, dip her feet in black ink so when she wakes up the next day and refuses to put her shoes and socks on, you can take her out in public and not be judged. Unless someone notices, in which case you say, "That conniving little devil! I can't believe she tricked me like that!"

5. Let your kids eat their boogers. That way, they don't end up on the surfaces of your home. Plus, it's good for their immunity.

6. Instead of using plates, serve your kids' dinner directly on the table. Or, even better, tell them you're having a picnic, and put their food on the floor. Keep the snow shovel nearby while they eat (and by "eat" I mean "whine, complain, and make barfing noises in reaction to what you've cooked").

7. Let everyone use the same toothbrush. It's much easier to have a "use any toothbrush you can find" policy than to keep track of everyone's toothbrushes.

8. Pour 1/4 cup of milk on your van floor everyday for two months. By the end, you will be so desensitized to the smell, that sour milk will never bother you again.

9. Any time you buy a loaf of bread from the store, throw it on the ground and stomp on it, taking away the satisfaction from your kids who would surely do the same thing before you get to the checkout.

10. Eat your lunch in the bathroom since kids plan their poop schedule around your feeding schedule. Practice holding a sandwich in one hand and toilet paper in the other. Like boogers, it's good for your immunity.

Summoned

Today I had to go to court for jury selection. 

But before I say anything about that, let's take a look at my history of jury summons: 

This was the fourth time I have had jury summons. I have been an adult, by juror standards, for 15 years. Four times in fifteen years!

But...

This is actually my fifth time because I was summoned last month, and I got mixed up on the time and showed up an hour late, so they added me back on the list, and I got summoned again. 

So five times in fifteen years.

I don't know anyone who has had jury summons that many times. Most people I've talked to have either never had it or they have had it once. A few people in their older years have had it twice, but not very many. 

Anyway, the first three times I was summoned, I didn't have to go in. The first time, they ended up not needing me. The second time, I was due with a baby the month I was summoned, so I was excused, and the third time, I was summoned to a court that dismissed me because I care for children full time (not sure why that's grounds for dismissal, but it said specifically on their paperwork that people who care for children or elderly full-time could be dismissed). So the fourth and fifth summons are the first times I've had to actually go to court.

Let's not talk about the fourth time. Because that's when I was late, and I am still flustered about it. Y'all know I don't do "late."

But today, I went in for my fifth summons. 

And I was on time. 

I'll go ahead and ruin the end of the story for you... I wasn't selected.

I have mixed feelings about that. Now is not a good time for me to serve on a jury. Arranging my life for the next few days so that I could go to court would have been really hard. But also, deep down, I wanted to be on that jury. I think I would have been good at it, at least for this particular case.

I was surprised by how enjoyable it was to be involved in the selection process. It was fascinating. I liked the judge, and I liked the lawyers. I would love to have seen the trial to the finish. 

Maybe it's just the fact that I got to be away from my kids and be in a quiet place with adults for half a day, but I thought jury duty was awesome! And now I hope I get to do it again someday.

But now that I know I enjoy it, I'll probably never get summoned again. Isn't that the way it goes? 

A Quick Check-In

It warms my heart when I don't post for ten days, and people notice and check in on me. Thanks, friends. I'm here for a quick update.

I'm back in school, and this semester came at me like a freight train. My courses started on New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve!!! Is that even ethical?

This semester I am taking a family course and a research course and doing my practicum which involves writing, marketing, and teaching a family life education (FLE) workshop. I have actually looked forward to my practicum from the time I started school. I have lots of ideas for workshops, as there are many FLE topics I am deeply passionate about, and I finally narrowed down my subject, and I've started my research. It is going to be a challenging and rewarding semester.

Being back in school has made me tired. The second I start reading anything for school, I need to fall asleep. Even in this very moment, I am beginning to nod off. I never understood why adults were so tired all the time. I still don't understand it, but I accept it because I'm living it.

Hopefully I'll be back soon to write about the creature living in my ceiling and how I screwed up jury duty.

Threes All Around

Today is my birthday.

I am 33.

Nicky was really excited that my age is a double number. I forgot that things like that are cool for children (he will turn 11 this year, so we both get double numbers in 2017).

Daisy, on the other hand, was shocked that I am "only" 33. "I thought you were way older. Like 35 or something," she said.

In honor of double threes, here is a picture of me when I was three months old:

 

And this is me when I was three years old:

 

And here are some more threes:

Three Board Games I Love:
Seven Wonders
Agricola
Splendor

Three Movies I Love:
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Shawshank Redemption (I have the edited version)
Robin Hood: Men in Tights

(Apparently I have thing for men escaping prison)

Three Things I Often Say:
"Good grief!"
"By dark of night"
"Let's change your bum"

Three Things I'm Bad At:
Spelling words verbally
Cleaning
Parallel parking

Three Things I Really Don't Like Doing:
Flying kites
Exercising
Putting laundry away

Three Things I Love to Eat:
Fresh spring rolls with peanut sauce
Grilled pineapple
Anything with a yummy dip or sauce

Three of my Character Flaws:
I get annoyed easily
I'm very impatient
I can be competitive

Three Things I Hate Buying:
Toilet paper
Shoes
Light bulbs

Three Things I Spend Too Much Money On:
Clothes
Eating out
Gifts

Three Things I Miss From my Childhood:
TGIF
The Box
My (original) Littlest Pet Shop toys

Three Things My Husband Loves that I Don't:
Fishing
Mexican food
Playing Clue

Now if you've done the math, you know that I just wrote 11 lists of three things for a total of 33 things for my 33rd birthday.

Safekeeping in 2017

Who's excited for the New Year?

I am!

(And who loves Rocketman? I do!)

Since I was born on New Year's Day, it's only appropriate for me to have a special place in my heart for the changing of the year. I love closing out the old year and reflecting on the things I've experienced and learned and then starting fresh with new goals and purposes for the coming year.

I'm also very cool with a 50% success level for New Year's resolutions.

Sometimes I incorporate a theme for the New Year, if I feel so inspired. It's not something I do every year, but there are some years where I feel drawn to a particular focus. As 2017 approaches, and I've been pondering about my life and what I want to achieve, the word "stewardship" keeps coming to mind.

Can I be honest? I don't care for the word stewardship. It's not a pretty word. So from the moment it came into my mind, I have pushed it aside. But yesterday, I took some time to brainstorm goals for the New Year, and in doing so, I created a concept map. The word came to mind... stewardship, and I thought, "Fine. I'll mess around with it, but only for a minute."

I wrote stewardship, and then I began to list all of the things I am a steward over. As soon as I let the word in, I had so much clarity and direction. I feel like I was truly inspired to focus on stewardship in 2017. But since stewardship isn't my favorite word, I've decided that my theme for 2017 will be...

Safekeeping

Safekeeping will be my pretty word for stewardship, and here is what I mean by those words:

The careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care.

-Merriam-Webster

The responsible overseeing and protection of something considered worth caring for and preserving.

-dictionary.com

Stewardship is about recognizing blessings and managing them well.

-A Diving Encounter (blog)

My purpose for 2017 is to become a better steward over the things that have been entrusted in my care - in essence, I am focusing on the safekeeping of my blessings.

After I listed several of the things I am a steward over, I chose five to focus on for the year, and I made some goals in each of those areas:

1. I am a steward over my finances

Goal: Improve our budgeting system and use our money more responsibly.

This is a goal that we already have a good foundation for, but I want to make it better. We have been pretty good about living within our means and staying out of debt, but I want to do a better job at saving money. I want to put more money toward our car and get it paid off much earlier than planned (perhaps by the end of 2018). I would also like to do the same for our house (we are hoping to pay it off within nine years). This year, I want to get a good budgeting system in place than includes finding a way to put more money toward things now so we can free up our finances later. Or as Dave Ramsay says, "Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else."

2. I am a steward over my body

Goal: Weigh less on December 31, 2017 than I do on January 1, 2017.

Goal: Have ten or fewer encounters with soda.

I know it's cliche to set a weight loss goal, so I'm keeping it nice and simple. I know that I need to be a better steward over my body, but I don't want a quick fix that I can't maintain. If I am going to make changes to my health, I want them to be permanent lifestyle changes, so I need them to happen slowly over time. This year, I am hoping to:

• Improve our family diet
• Consume less junk
• Overcome emotional eating

But I'm not ready to be drastic about it. Baby steps to better health!

My soda goal is a goal I set almost every year, except this year I am allowing myself a little bit of soda. I feel like I should be able to enjoy an occasional Coke with a friend. 

3. I am a steward over my family

Goal: Improve Family Home Evening and Family Councils.

Goal: Implement weekly family goals again.

This is another goal that we a;ready have a good foundation for. We have worked hard to make FHE a weekly practice, and we have family councils every Sunday night (read more about how we do our family councils here). My goal is to make them a little more meaningful and useful. 

I also want to start doing weekly family goals again. A few years ago we started setting goals each week during FHE, and we got out of that practice when I went back to school and started getting more overwhelmed. I want to reinstate the family goals. 

4. I am a steward over my knowledge

For this one, I wanted to set a goal for secular knowledge and spiritual knowledge.

Goal (secular): GRADUATE!!!

Goal (spiritual): Complete my current course of scripture study.

I think GRADUATING is self-explanatory. In addition to that, I want to actually complete a scripture study plan. I'm really good at making a plan and starting a plan, but I don't always see it through. A few months ago I outlined a study plan for myself with the Gospel Principles manual. I want to finish that plan! The way I am going, it will take a few months, and then hopefully I will be inspired to start a new plan. 

5. I am a steward over my happiness

Goal: During the month of January, study the topic of happiness and make a list of "best practices" for maintaining happiness, then set goals that will help make those "best practices" a part of my daily life. 

Happiness has been a big part of 2016, so I want to continue learning how to manage my own happiness in the coming year. I believe that a lot of my personal happiness is up to me, so I want to be intentional about bringing it into my life and safekeeping it. Plan on hearing more about this

next month.

-------------------------------------------

I am looking forward to 2017, and I am already starting to work on some of my resolutions. I'm feeling positive about the direction I want to take this year, and while I'm at peace with a 50% success rate, I'd really like to have more than that this time!

For it is expedient that I, the Lord, should make every man accountable, as a steward over earthly blessings, which I have made and prepared for my creatures.

D&C 104:13

2016 Highlights

January

• I turned 32
• We started building bedrooms where our family room used to be 
• I discovered that I have gray hair

February

• We did "no spend month"
• I started all of my Saturdays with a 5:00 a.m. run (8+ miles) and stake choir practice at 8:00 (clearly I was nuts in February)

March

• I started using a selfie stick
• We bought a new van
• I had oral surgery
• We took the kids to Goblin Valley and Moab

April

• I ran a half marathon
• Scotty went to Disneyland (aka: "Brocation")
• The kids and I went to Saint George with my sister-in-law
• Scotty and I were called as Cub Masters
• We celebrate Eva's first birthday
• We inherited 6 chickens and 2 rabbits

May

• Scotty started a new job
• We kind of finished the bedrooms we started in January (they still aren't 100% done, but the kids live in them)
• I met my friend, Shannon, and the heavens rejoiced

June

• We started re-watching Lost
• I started taking happy pills
• Scotty and I took the Cub Scouts to day camp
• I was on the committee for our Church's summer party

July

• Scotty turned 35
• We went on Trek
• My sister-in-law potty trained Zoe (Haaaaallelujah!)
• We celebrated Pioneer Day in Star Valley with friends (interestingly, Wyoming throws a pretty awesome Utah holiday!)

August

• I took a 6-week break from school for the first time since I started
• We bought kayaks and spent all month going to lakes
• Nicky started 4th grade and Daisy started first grade

September

• Zoe started at a new school
• Daisy started taking piano lessons
• Zoe started dance class
• I went to Time Out for Women in Logan with my in-laws 
• Daisy turned 7
• I went to the Hope Works event put on by the Mormon Channel 

October

• Scotty and I went to the Maroon 5 concert
• I blogged every day of the month except for one (Wow!)
• We went to California
• I had my first run-in with athlete's foot

November

• Zoe turned 4
• I went to Time Out for Women in Salt Lake with Shannon
• We celebrated Thankgiving at Scotty's mom's and my mom's
• Scotty and I went to the Carrie Underwood concert

December

• Daisy and Zoe had "in studio" dance performances for Christmas
• Nicky turned 10
• Scotty worked a lot (imagine: 32 work phone calls between 3:00-7:00 a.m.)