Thursday, October 18, 2018

Ten Favorite Quotes - Lighten Up

It's been several months since I last posted a list of favorite quotes from a book. I couldn't pass up the chance to list some quotes from Lighten Up by Chieko N. Okazaki. This book was written in 1992 with women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as the intended audience.

I didn't really know anything about Sister Okazaki until about two years ago when Shannon sent me a link to her talk "Rowing Your Boat" from 1994 (although, in hindsight, I remember a tribute to her at Time Out For Women in 2011).


(Sidenote: go ahead and watch that video. Fast-forward to about 1:50. I have so many questions... Like, who, in 1994, custom-made those oars? What was it like carrying them into the tabernacle? What went on behind that pulpit while the oars were in waiting? Did the audience see the oars during the transition between speakers and think, "Oh boy! This is exciting!"?)

(Other sidenote: Sister Okazaki was pretty big on visual aids. The oars aren't the only thing she brought to the pulpit during her time in the General RS Presidency).

Anyway... for the past year or so, I've seen a post circulating facebook with the following quote from Sister Okazaki:

"We know that on some level Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It's our faith that he experienced everything - absolutely everything. Sometimes we don't think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don't experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means Jesus knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer - how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student-body election, He knows that moment when the brakes locked, and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced gas chambers at Dachau. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

There is nothing you have experiences as a woman that he does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, he understands about pregnancy and giving birth. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion....

...he understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say the new baby has Down's Syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children who ever come are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He's been there. He's been lower than all that" (p. 175).

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After seeing this quote float around for a long time, I wanted to see where this statement was made and also confirm that it was correct (you know how social media "quotes" can be). I discovered that it was correct and that it came from the book Lighten Up. I was surprised to see that it was from 1992 because it seemed like something that more likely would have been said or written in the past decade.



I put the book on hold at the library and recently finished it (our library system only has two copies, one of which now has several passages marked by me. Sorry, Library. I should have purchased a copy).

I quite enjoyed the book and found it to be very relevant for women of 2018. Here are nine other quotes I want to keep around for my own reference:

#1: On Diversity


"We are all different and deal with diverse circumstances. Diversity is a strength, not a division... Have you ever had the feeling that your the odd one, the different one?... The truth is that you're not odd - you're special. When white light falls on a wall, it makes a white wall. But when it passes through a prism, that same light makes a rainbow on the wall" (p. 4).

#2 & #3 Callings


"Magnifying our callings doesn't mean multiplying our tasks. It means reaching a level of excellence that gives us new joy. It feels wonderful to do your best, even if you're the only person who knows you did it" (p. 44).

"You, in whatever callings you have throughout your life, will face many choices between serving the program and serving an individual. I believe that if we truly serve individuals in the Lord's way, we'll have less trouble with the program" (p. 63).

#4 Forgiveness


"This is a day that requires the private courage to see the truth and embrace it as our own and also the public courage to carry out those moral decisions with integrity, courtesy, and civility. But we will see great evils being done, evils that we will sometimes be powerless to prevent. It is also probable that evils will be done to us...So this day we have come to is also a day that requires forgiveness... Forgiveness is not the same thing as pretending that there's nothing to forgive. Great wrongs inspire deep indignation... We should not pretend that something doesn't matter or didn't hurt us when it does matter and it did hurt. But we also need to remember that forgiveness is one of the blessings that lies within God's gifts" (p. 60).

#5 Sacred Places


"We don't have to be in a sacred place for spiritual things to happen. The Sacred Grove was just a stand of trees before Joseph Smith walked into it. It became sacred because of what happened there. Where is your Sacred Grove? It could be in your car, if that's where you spend a lot of time thinking through problems and attuning your heart sensitively to the Spirit. Perhaps it's while you're out walking. Heavenly Father doesn't save up all his spiritual experiences just for sacrament meeting or the temple" (p. 73).

#6 Good News


"Do you sometimes have difficulty believing that Christ really died for you? That he really loves you? We all have moments when that seems impossible and incredible. Why is it so hard for us to believe the good news of the gospel when it's so easy for us to believe the bad news? I think this must be something of a universal problem" (p. 111).

#7 Judging and Learning to Love


"When people look at other people, what they see on the outside determines what they think. Only when we get close, sit and talk, do we really know the inner heart of the individual. God can see both sides at the same time - the inside and the outside. We can't see both sides at a glance. We have to discover a persons inside, patiently and lovingly. We have to learn to love other people by serving them... We don't need a formal Church calling o be a source of love and peace, radiating goodwill throughout the neighborhood" (p. 138).

#8 Jesus Knows


"...who are we trying to kid? Jesus has just seen the stove where the spaghetti boiled over, and it was pretty obvious that wasn't the only thing that had ever boiled over on that stove. He heard what you muttered when you picked up that one sock, just as you've been doing for the past eight years. He caught that worry about the dentist bill that flashed across your mind when you were putting toothpaste on your brush. He doesn't want polite platitudes. He wants you! All of you! He wants o be the center pf your total life - the worried you, the mad you, and the sad you as well as the inspired, happy, obedient, loving you" (p. 183)

#9 Prayer


"When it comes to prayer, let's have no more empty statements and insincere but polite phrases. Be honest. If you're mad, say so. If you're confused, say so. And don't think anything is too small for the Savior's loving attention" (p. 184)


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