Pioneer Day

In Utah, July 24th is a state holiday termed "Pioneer Day." It's when we celebrate the arrival of the Mormon pioneers in the Salt Lake Valley. It's a lot like the 4th of July in that we celebrate with fireworks, parades, and BBQs (just like the pioneers would have us do!) Other nearby regions also celebrate. A community in Star Valley, Wyoming puts on an awesome Pioneer Day breakfast every year (as we discovered a couple of years ago when we crashed the party and tried to act like locals). 

We used to have a tradition in Scotty's mom's family where we would go to This is the Place State Park for the day. I always went with them when I was a teenager and while Scotty was serving a two-year mission in South Carolina. Everyone would bring "pioneer" food (they were supposed to bring dishes that were at least 100 years old, but as the years went on, they started to really stretch those boundaries in amusing ways). Then one year, we showed up at the park like we always had - coolers in tow, and they wouldn't let us in with outside food. That put the kibosh on that tradition. 

Last year was exciting because Scotty's new job gave him the day off. We've been trying to recall whether (adult) Scotty has ever had a job that gave him Pioneer Day off. We thought his job when we got married might have given him the day off, but then I remembered taking Nicky to Pioneer Day activities without Scotty, which means he must have had to work. This was his second Pioneer Day at his new job, thus, granting him a day off in the middle of the week (which is always so confusing. I can't tell you how many times I panicked yesterday because I thought I needed to prepare my singing time, believing the next day was Sunday). 

In January of this year, Scotty and I were asked to be on a committee for a parade float for the Days of '47 Parade. It ended up being the worst committee experience we've ever had, but I'll spare you all the details. Suffice it to say, I will be glad when it's all behind us, and I will probably say no to every committee for the next three years, as I am going to need that time to recover and rebuild my faith in humankind. My Committee Phobia has intensified ten-fold, and I also have increased Pioneer Phobia and Parade Phobia. 

I'm seeking a therapist who specializes in these diagnoses. 

Anyway, Scotty and I were in charge of demolishing the parade float after the event, so last night we got to work. 

I didn't get a very good photo of the float before we started, but here is the basic idea. Our theme was "Trek to the Future." There were aliens and a space ship. Some people in shiny, metallic pioneer costumes rode in the space ship (which was actually an old boat from Scotty's grandpa's property). 

We had nothing to do with the design or the concept. I'm not sure who did (lack of communication was one of the big issues with this committee, but again, I'm not going into that).

(No, I'm not going into that).

(Stop trying to make me).

(I know I'm twitching and stuff, but I'm really not going to say anything).

(Nothing at all).

The float really wasn't that terrible looking unless you saw it in comparison to the other floats in the parade. We live in a lower income area, so our budget was very small - a quarter of what more affluent areas spend. 

I was excited to demolish the float. I imagined coming in like a wrecking ball and just beating the crap out of the float. I'm really terrible at sports where I have to use a piece of equipment to hit a ball. I can't play golf, baseball, or tennis to save my life. Turns out, I'm not very good at sledge-hammering, either. My aim is horrific! In an effort to not harm anyone, I had to turn in my tool and stick with the task of removing shiny, glittery things by hand. 

The job was not satisfying at all. It was tedious and arduous, and it probably didn't help that we did it all by ourselves. 

We had to remove a ton of screws, and we still have hundreds of staples we need to go back and pry out with screwdrivers. 

The plastic, shiny stuff was incredibly messy, and the parking lot looked like a glitter bomb went off... or like one of those sparkly vampires from Twilight spontaneously combusted. Today I found all sorts of float remnants that my daughters snuck home - streamers, styrofoam, tinsel, and other shimmering things I consider contraband in my house. 

I spent over an hour leaf blowing float particles and sucking them up with a shop vac. I also had to hold the space ship while Scotty cut it up (eyes closed so I didn't get metal shards in them). 

Now the boat spaceship is in three pieces awaiting a turn in the dumpster.

Here's the float after we got done with it: 

All of those little black pieces still need to be pried off the base with a screwdriver. I have to admit, I'm kind of hoping the float base got stolen overnight. While taking it apart in 95-degree heat at 9:00 at night, I was daydreaming about backing it into a landfill. 

I guess I'll now be the prime suspect if anything goes awry.