July… what is there to say about July? It flew by, and yet, it dragged on forever, and I’m wondering how it is STILL July. I didn’t do much blogging this month. Not for lack of trying. I had a bout of writer’s block, and therefore, I’ve accumulated about 12 single-paragraph drafts in my folder where I attempted to write something, hit a dead end, and read a book instead.
Speaking of reading, I’ve done a lot of that this summer. A quick glance at Goodreads indicates that I’ve finished 24 books since Memorial Day and DNF-ed seven. My kids, in the meantime, haven’t touched a book since May. Don’t judge me. I don’t know who these people are.
Segue to parenting things… being a mom is hard. Before I had kids, I always thought I was going to rock the mom thing. I don't know where I got that idea, so chock it up to not having a fully developed prefrontal cortex. I was still riding high on the adolescent mentality that I was invincible when I started ushering new humans into this world. Reality hit hard when they put that first baby into my arms, and I felt my earliest symptoms of post-partum depression. I've spent every day since then acknowledging that I'm not who I thought I was, and they're not who I thought they were. Nor are they play-doh that I can mold into whatever I want.
I'll spare you the laundry list of all my current motherhood woes, but just know that they are there. They always will be. With each new phase of life, I'm bombarded with angst over my kids, and I never know if I'm doing the right things for them. That's one of the crappiest aspects of parenting - it's full of guesswork, and the results of your guesswork aren't usually immediate, so you can't course correct quickly. Sometimes it takes years to know whether you did the right thing. And what is best for one child might be the very thing that damages another child. You just never know.
But wait... July... what has July been like aside from writer's block and parenting struggles?
Scotty turned 40. We got some fabulous new curbing installed around our new garden. Zoe has been doing cheerleading and tumbling three times a week, and she was in the 4th of July parade (crazy hot). We've gone to visit Scotty's parents a couple of times at the camp where they are serving their mission (but we haven't camped). We've been to Thanksgiving Point a lot. We've spent days at the lake. My kids have been to the zoo with my mom a couple of times. We got season passes to a water park since Nicky and Daisy get in free with their Gabb phones. We've been hiking and park hopping. Scotty was put in as elders quorum president. We've had game nights and a few birthday parties. Daisy went to her first girls camp. Nicky went to seminary twice a week. I did inventory of all my kids' clothing, and we started back to school shopping.
And… in Most Exciting News… Wingspan was released as an app on July 20, so guess what I’ve spent way too much time doing?
And even with all that... my kids have still managed to watch TV for, like, eight hours every day while I lay on the couch and wallow in depression. July is usually a very bad month for me. This year was no exception.
July... thank you for being fun and awful. I'll see you next year.
Quick photo dump:
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