How to Dougie

Early Sunday morning, my brother-in-law Doug passed away. It's a big loss, and even though there were indications that it could end this way (cancer, you fickle beast), we hoped it wouldn't be so. It's hard to imagine that Doug will no longer grace this earth. 

Today is his funeral, so I wanted to share a few thoughts and memories in honor of his life and the impact he had. 

Let me teach you how to Dougie. 

Step 1: Rub People's Butts

Doug was the massage therapist for the Utah Jazz. Whenever we went to a Jazz game or watched one on TV, we always looked for Doug. The first time I saw Doug in action, he was down on the floor working on one of the player's glutes. From then on, I always teased him for rubbing famous people's butts for a living. 

Doug was never one to shy away from touch, so he was always hugging people and rubbing their shoulders. He would often knead our necks and analyze our knots and tensions. He'd mess with our aches and pains whether we wanted him to or not. 

That's how you Dougie.

Step 2: Give in to Peer Pressure

On the morning Doug passed away, I found a video of him from a family Christmas party. Everyone had started taking turns doing somersaults in the living room while the rest of the family cheered (yeah... family parties get weird. You know how it is).  Everyone wanted Doug to join in, so we started chanting, "Doug! Doug! Doug!" Doug soon ran in from the kitchen and gave his best somersault.

All Doug ever needed was a bit of attention and sweet talking, and he'd do some pretty funny things. That's how he ended up diving off a boat and swimming to shore one time while he was traveling with the Jazz. The video of him jumping off that boat made my heart race - it looked so dangerous. 

That's how you Dougie.

Step 3: Tell Everybody What to Do

When Doug loved something, he wouldn't stop talking about it. He wanted everyone to love what he loved, so he was always telling us what movies to watch, what books to read, what songs to jam to, and what products to buy. He was like a walking infomercial. He also loved to give advice regarding just about anything. 

Most of what Doug loved were movies and books I thought were dumb or products that I would never spend big money on. But sometimes we'd find a commonality, and some of the best conversations I had with Doug involved the rare things we both loved. The good thing about Doug, though, was that even when he was talking up some awful TV show or movie, the conversation was still good. He was always fun to talk to.

That's how you Dougie. 

Step 4: Make People Laugh

If there's one thing that stands out to me about Doug, it's how easy it was to laugh with him. Doug was really funny and a joy to be around. Doug could razz and be razzed. 

Doug was very friendly and social. He loved talking to people. 

One of my favorite stories about Doug...

My sister-in-law, Melissa (his wife), was at a youth conference one year in Doug’s hometown. They were sitting in a big group on a lawn when a car drove by and someone mooned them. Years later, Doug told her a story of how he once mooned a youth conference group out a car window. 

That’s how you Dougie.

Step 5: Show People that You Care

One thing I really loved about Doug was his interest in others. He asked genuine questions and was always anxious to get caught up after not seeing us for a while. 

He was always sweet to our kids even though they cried every time they saw him. He often joked that we showed our kids pictures of him and conditioned them to hate him. Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t.

Doug helped me train for a half marathon. He pushed me to my limits, and I loathed him for it until I succeeded. Then I was so glad he made me do it.

That’s how you Dougie.

Doug, you will be greatly missed and never forgotten. Thanks for your friendship, your humor, and your kindness. The world won’t be the same without you. See you on the other side, brother.