Thoughts I Had While Lying Awake at a Ridiculous Hour on Christmas Morning

"Oh no! I need to blow my nose, but I don't want to wake up the kids. Maybe I can gently breathe my boogers into a more comfortable position."

"Crap! The wind is blowing the wreath against the door. It sounds like knocking. It's going to wake up the kids! I have to get out of bed."

"Ooooo! Someone left us cinnamon rolls by dark of night!"

"Hello world! I am in my underwear!"

"At least I match the snow! It's like a clever disguise!"

"WHITE LIGHTNING!" (That's what I say when I run through the house in my underwear).

"Apparently my children are not going to obey the 'Don't leave your room until 6:00 a.m. rule.'"

"Why don't they take me seriously? I should go downstairs and whisper-yell at them!"

"Ha! Take THAT, kids. Go back to your rooms and suffer."

"No, Britt! Don't feel bad about it. Your mom wouldn't let you out of your room until 8:00!"

"This mole on my arm is freaking me out."

"I literally had nightmares about vegetables last night. That's weird."

"I wonder if Santa had a run-in with the tooth fairy."

"We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue..."

"I should put on my chicken suit."

Merry Christmas!