Would You Rather {special gross edition}

Here is a difficult truth...

The older I get, the grosser I get.

I was looking at a picture of myself from high school the other day, and as I glanced at my arm in the photo, I realized there is something drastically different between then and now: I've acquired hundreds of moles! My shoulders and upper arms are covered in them now, and in my seventeen-year-old photo, my shoulders were relatively unspotted.

Another thing I've started experiencing as I've entered my thirties is chafing. Nothing used to rub! Now I have to own products like Monistat Chafing Relief Powder Gel (which I used to buy to use as make-up primer, but now I use it for primer and chafing prevention) and Body Glide.

Those are just a few examples of the gross things my body has done. There are far more that I can't mention on the internet, but suffice it to say that there are rolls where there used to not be rolls, and there are marks where there used to not be marks, and there are things growing where there used to not be things growing.

Getting old? More like getting gross!

In my gross experiences, I've come up with a "Would You Rather" scenario.

Tell me...

WOULD YOU RATHER...

Have bed bugs?

Have athlete's foot?

Have water warts?

Have lice?

All of my life, I've lived in fear of those four things, and I've never had any of them...

...until now.

Are you horrified?

Fortunately, I have the one that I would choose for "Would You Rather" if I had to choose between the four.

I have no idea where I got it from, but it's possible I brought it home as a souvenir from California.

Are you ready?

Well, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow.

(But if you're a grammar buff, you can probably figure it out).