One battle I've chosen not to fight is the Clothing Battle.
Earlier this winter, I was struggling with Nicky over clothes. He hates jeans, so, much to my dismay, I allowed him to switch over to a ward robe that consists entirely of athletic pants and gym shorts. I also lifted my ban on wearing shorts in winter. The rule was in 45 degrees and above, he could wear shorts, but then, after so much fighting about shorts, I sat Nicky down and said, "I'm lifting the ban on shorts. You can wear shorts to school whenever you want, but I am trusting you to make good judgement." We talked about some of the cues that would indicate that shorts might be too cold. The next day, he woke up and put on pants all by himself. He just needed to feel like it was his decision, so I think I made a good call on that one.
The Clothing Battle also extends to my daughters, who are very strong-willed. Even the wee one, who is 11 months old (yes, already!) is very stubborn and opinionated. There are certain aspects of their ward robe that I need to intervene with occasionally (no fire-fighter hats at church) but for the most part, I have stepped back and let them dress themselves. I don't let it bother me if their clothes don't match, and I don't let it bother me that 99% of the time they look absolutely ridiculous.
Daisy in her church dress with denim leggings and Elsa socks. This girl will forever wear atrocious socks to church.
Zoe in a nightgown, a tutu, a Minnie Mouse beanie, rain boots, and a Batman cape on the way to the library (she has to wear a cape because she is "Super Zozo!")
I know a lot of people who have chosen to fight this battle, and that's fine if it works in their families, but in mine, my kids really thrive on this form of independence, so it's a battle I no longer fight. Part of this comes from remembering how I felt as a child when I didn't have control over what I wore. It was important to me to be able to choose my own clothes every day, and I know that my kids feel the same way.
What battles have you chosen not to fight?
2 comments:
Ya know, I have an identical twin and there was so much outside pressure for my Mom to dress us alike in cutesy matchy outfits. And with an 18-months-younger sister the options became a) three cutesy matchy outfits or b) twins match, little sis feels left out and other. Thankfully, she decided early on that we all could dress ourselves. We had our own shoes that we picked out, and as long as we were covered and relatively clean, she didn't care. I am so grateful that she chose not to fight that battle. I realize I have kind of a unique situation, but even so, it's one thing I definitely am grateful for. On school picture days the three of us all wore the same thing in elementary school, which typically consisted of a fluffy, ridiculous dress. I remember always thinking those photos looked strange because we NEVER wore matching outfits. Ha!
xox
I JUST read a great quote from, of all people, Will Smith on this. He talked about how especially with girls, they need to understand that their bodies are their own and they shouldn't be trained to need approval or permission from others about how they look! I don't have daughters, but with Nicky I agree that learning how to make decisions now when stakes are low is preferable to later!
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