Saturday, September 10, 2022

An Incomplete List of Awkward Situations (Part VII)

September Writing Challenge - Prompt # 3:

Uncomfortable 


When you're sitting on the toilet, and your Apple Watch tells you it's time to stand up, and you’re like, “How long have I been here????”

When you’re driving the Young Women to the temple and the following conversation takes place in the back seat:

YW #1: What are you doing?

YW #2: Your mom!


When you’re driving with your kids and an ad comes on the radio for erectile dysfunction, and you think, "It's okay, they're not even paying attention!" but as you change the stations, one of them calls out, "Hey, Mom! What's ED?" 

When you’re outside holding a bunch of groceries and a neighbor stops by to talk to you, and he goes on and on telling you a story you’ve already heard at least six times, and you discover that your dish soap is leaking out of the bag, and when he finally leaves, you run into your garage and accidentally drop everything because you’re slippery from the dish soap, and you spend five minutes gathering everything up, but three hours later you run over an avocado.

When you're trying to walk safely in wet flip-flops.


When you're listening to someone talk about how they don't have time for X, Y, and Z, but you can see them arguing with strangers about movies on Facebook nearly everyday and wonder how they have time for THAT.

When you consistently see women who are 30-40 years older than you wearing the same clothes you do, and you realize that shopping at Costco isn't exactly keeping you young and hip. 

When you watch a movie from your childhood and realize how old and outdated it looks, and you have to explain to your kids that, "Back then, that was really innovative technology!" (The first Mission Impossible failed to impress my posterity).


When you have an annoying, squeaky shopping cart, but you’re too far into the store to go back and swap it, and you try lifting up the back wheels to see if it helps, and it does, so you push your cart around while lifting it slightly off the ground but pretend that you’re just pushing it normal resulting in an unplanned arm workout. 

When you walk upstairs and find your neighbor kid peeing in your bathroom with the door wide open and his pants around his ankles. And he’s 17. 

(Just kidding. He’s seven).


When you realize you're significantly older than the characters in Friends.

When you see your son walk upstairs to find the bathroom occupied and then downstairs to find the bathroom occupied, and then he goes outside for a few minutes.

When you lecture your kids constantly to stop saying "peepee," and then the code for your mobile order at McDonald's is PP47, and you have to yell it out at the order box in front of everyone. 




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

These are my favorite posts.