Reading: The Family Romanov by Candace Fleming
Watching: The Goldbergs
Procrastinating: Finding a primary care physician.
Wanting: New couches. If you remember (which you probably don't, and that's okay) "new couches" used to make regular appearances here. We eventually got a new (used, actually) couch in our living room, but it's now in shambles. Several springs have popped lose in it, and it makes horrible screeching sounds when anyone sits on it. It recently swallowed a member of our Relief Society Presidency - the one with the bad back, of course - so now I'm to the point where I don't want anyone to sit in my house lest they become injured or lost.
Craving: Chinese food
Wearing: Jeans that have a stretchy waistband and look a lot like maternity pants, but they aren't maternity pants. I refer to them as my "glory jeans." Also a blue hand-me-down t-shirt from Shannon. A significant portion of my wardrobe is Shannon's hand-me-downs.
Relieved by: Scotty getting to come home a week early from a business trip (he was supposed to be gone until St. Patrick's Day, but he was able to home on the 9th).
Stressing about: Food. I'm working on my grocery list for later this week, and deep in my heart of hearts I want to make healthy choices, but I also have a special place in my heart for cheap & easy. I don't care what anyone says, eating healthy is not cheap or easy.
Neglecting: The floor of my house. I can't look down or I'll be overwhelmed. I'm just going to keep my head high, and if anyone comes to my house, I'll clear a path. Not sure where the path will go since no one can sit on my couch. Maybe to a kitchen stool?
Classy.
Trying: To drink more water. I feel like I drink a lot of water, but when I actually track the quantity, I come up short.
Feeling: Kind of blah. There are some things eating away at me right now. I'm struggling with some family relationships, and I feel like this world is a hopeless, awful place and why, oh why, did I think I could raise four children here? You know that feeling?
Wishing: That I had a personal assistant (I call her Sue).
Relieved by: A large medical bill that somehow got taken care of. I don't know how it happened. A miracle? Maybe. I wish I knew.
Burdened by: Something reflux-y/heartburn-y. I don't know what my deal is, but I could barf any moment. Remember how I'm procrastinating finding a primary care physician? This is one of the side effects of my procrastination. I feel like there's a balloon inflating in my throat.
Loving: The warm weather this week that allows me to send my kids out in public in sandals and flip flops without great scrutiny. Winter is not kind to the feet of my children. They need air.
Worried about: My kids. I've reached the point in motherhood where I'm worried all the time. I think it just stays like this permanently from this point forward.
Thankful for: Alone time. It's such a rare occurrence for me to be alone that I've come to treasure it dearly, even though I spend most of it freaking out about spending it wisely - which prevents me from spending it wisely.
Monday, March 12, 2018
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Blended Family
This past week I've been working on some "blended family" projects (by the end of the month, I'll be able to show you what one of the projects is. I'm really excited about it).
Even though divorce and remarriage is very common now, it wasn't the norm when I was a child. My parents were divorced for five years before I had a friend whose parents were also divorced (that friend is now my sister-in-law so we are part of the same blended family). Even as an adult, most of my friends come from "intact" families, so as common as divorce may be, a lot of my generation is experiencing it for the first time.
Being a part of any family has its ups and downs, but the dynamics of blended families can be pretty complicated. "High drama" might be a good way to describe it, but "never boring" might be a kinder way of putting it.
As I've been working on my blended family project, I've been thinking about some of the adventures of being part of a blended family:
*In case you don't know the blended family vernacular, half-siblings share one parent (Scotty and I each have one half-sibling. Half-siblings are biological) and step-siblings are by marriage (i.e. not biological)
Even though divorce and remarriage is very common now, it wasn't the norm when I was a child. My parents were divorced for five years before I had a friend whose parents were also divorced (that friend is now my sister-in-law so we are part of the same blended family). Even as an adult, most of my friends come from "intact" families, so as common as divorce may be, a lot of my generation is experiencing it for the first time.
Being a part of any family has its ups and downs, but the dynamics of blended families can be pretty complicated. "High drama" might be a good way to describe it, but "never boring" might be a kinder way of putting it.
As I've been working on my blended family project, I've been thinking about some of the adventures of being part of a blended family:
- If you've ever used the introduction, "This is my brother Kyle, and this is my other brother Kyle,"... you might come from a blended family
- If you have nieces named Haley, Haylie, and Hailey... you might come from a blended family.
- If you are the oldest child, the middle child, and the second-to-youngest child all at once... you might come from a blended family.
- If you have 51 nieces and nephews, and some of your siblings haven't even started having kids yet... you might come from a blended family.
- If you didn't know your nephew existed until he was three... you might come from a blended family.
- If you've ever had to draw a diagram of your family to use as a visual aid during an anecdote... you might come from a blended family.
- If your friends think you're delusional because one time you said you have no sisters and another time you said you have 7 sisters... you might come from a blended family.
- If you host a "grandparents only" birthday party and 26 people show up... you might come from a blended family.
- If you write a blog post about your family, and it's outdated by the end of the day... you might come from a blended family.
*In case you don't know the blended family vernacular, half-siblings share one parent (Scotty and I each have one half-sibling. Half-siblings are biological) and step-siblings are by marriage (i.e. not biological)
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
Twelve Favorite Quotes - The Blessing of a Skinned Knee
I always have a book on parenting, marriage, or family in the works. I find them fascinating. I guess it's good that I had the sense to get a degree in something I have always been interested in, eh?
I know a lot of people poo-poo parenting books, but I find a lot of great inspiration in them. None of them offer perfect formulas for raising children - you have to take them with a grain of salt, but I have found a lot of helpful gems in the books I've read, and as someone who does not consider herself to be a natural at raising children, I appreciate the education.
My most recent parenting book is The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel.
I know a lot of people poo-poo parenting books, but I find a lot of great inspiration in them. None of them offer perfect formulas for raising children - you have to take them with a grain of salt, but I have found a lot of helpful gems in the books I've read, and as someone who does not consider herself to be a natural at raising children, I appreciate the education.
My most recent parenting book is The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel.
{Via}
This book takes teachings from the Torah and the Talmud and applies them to parenting. Personally, I found it to be so much more than a parenting book. I have always been fond of the Jewish faith. There are so many rituals and symbols in Judaism that I can connect to my own faith as a Mormon.
This book helped put some of my parenting fears to rest as it addressed many aspects of overparenting. It helped me reflect on some of the religious practices I participate in and their purposes. It also inspired me to write a new workshop curriculum. I have an "in" with a family centered conference that's in the works, and I've been trying to decide what I want to present there. I've had some ideas in the back of my mind, and I think I'm ready to bring one of them to fruition.
I had a hard time narrowing down the quotes to share from this book because my copy is highlighted pretty heavily. I decided to go with twelve, and I grouped them by topic.
Family Meals, Eating, & Blessing the Food
"Sanctification*... is the process of acknowledging the holiness in everyday actions and events... One traditional Jewish expression for home is the same as the word for house of worship: mikdash me'at, or 'little holy place.' Our dining table with our children is an altar. It has the potential to be the holiest spot on the planet." p 35
"The Talmud instructs us to find a balance between eating to live and living to eat. We are to elevate the act of eating by being conscious about when, what. where, and why we eat. In other words, we must make our table an altar." p 165
"We need to approach food in a conscious way so we can take full advantage of our human capacity for self-control and enjoyment... Sanctify mealtime. Sitting with other people around a table, as Jewish tradition encourages, assures that we'll spend at least part of our meal conversing instead of consuming. The blessings we say before we eat can also help. These prayers of thanks force us to slow down and reflect on the meal set before us." p 165
"In Judaism, the purpose of eating is partly to fuel ourselves to serve God and partly to force us to enjoy what God has provided. This means that if you eat a chocolate bar or allow your children to have one, you must say a blessing before you eat it to remind yourself to celebrate its worth. If you eat too many candy bars, you can't celebrate, because they are no longer special. If you eat and feel guilty at the same time, you demean the experience of pleasure and misspend the blessing. It's not a celebration anymore." p 166
Gratitude & Recognizing Blessings
"Children are specialists in the holy details... Their gratitude and uninhibited enthusiasm can be contagious, but you have to slow down and make these moments a priority or else you'll both miss out. Formalizing the ritual of blessings so that it becomes a habit is another way to teach children to remember what they've been given.** We tend to want to send God 'wish lists' of the things we want rather than remembering to thank Him for what we already have." p 127-128
"Tikkun olam (healing or repairing the world) conveys the idea that if we are blessed with abundance, it's because God wants us to figure out how to use it to help others." p 129
"In Judaism you are taught to 'be' a blessing. Every day, you mine the details for opportunities to elevate, to sanctify, to make order and find meaning. From your actions, you begin to learn God's wisdom and see the mark of God's touch." p 241
Repentance
"In Juadaism, the word for repentance is techuvah. It means 'return,' both in the sense of returning to your true best self after having strayed off course and the sense of returning to God, to a divine, objective standard of goodness." p203
Honoring the Sabbath Day
"What is forbidden on Shabbat is any act that changes the physical world. When we rest on Shabbat, we stop manipulating nature... and changing the physical. This makes Shabbat a time to focus on the eternal..." From The Art of Jewish Living: The Shabbat Seder by Dr. Ron Wolfson.
"There are peak spiritual moments that happen in a family spontaneously. The prescient, poetic observations our children make, the questions they ask us as they are climbing out of the bath or playing with their toast, cannot be pumped out of them or choreographed. The way time stops when a glistening bull-frog hops onto the driveway or when your child has a long and tender talk with a grandparent ushers in the neshamah yeterah without effort. But the idea of guarding the Sabbath teaches us to increase the odds that we'll find ourselves in these moments, that they will be prolonged rather than fleeting, and that we don't have to leave them entirely to chance." p 214
"[British psychologist D.W.] Winicott believed that we speed up our lives unintentionally in order to escape feeling helpless in the face of overwhelming problems or inner struggles. This may explain why the idea of a whole day of rest is terrifying to so many people. We're not afraid of losing time but of having time to reflect. Without the usual distractions and interference, we may have to confront feelings of disappointment, loneliness, frustration, panic, helplessness, and exhaustion, and our fear that we are not strong enough to make the changes we need to make." p 221
God & Science
"God and science aren't in competition... To teach about science we use the laws of logic and instruments like a microscope. To teach about God we use different laws, like the Ten Commandments, and we use stories instead of instruments to show how the laws work. To test and measure God we use the part of our mind that sees beauty in nature and goodness in people... Science makes God's incredible world credible." p 242-243
*Many of the teachings in this book are based on the three cornerstones of Jewish living: moderation, celebration, and sanctification
**Jewish tradition encourages adults to say 100 blessings of gratitude per day.
Monday, March 5, 2018
Scenes I Don’t Like Watching
Last week I finished watching Lost. I did some math and determined how many times I have watched each season:
Season One: 6
Season Two: 7
Season Three: 6
Season Four: 5
Season Five: 4
Season Six: 3
(If you're curious, the reason I have watched some seasons more than others is because when the show was on TV but off-season, I would go back and watch the past seasons in anticipation of the new season. This time I started watching in season 2, which is why it has the most. I skipped season 1 this round because I was trying to catch up to Shannon, who was also watching it).
I love Lost (if you've been around here for a while, you know this), but there are some scenes I struggle watching. It's not a Lost-exclusive problem, though. These are scenes that make me cringe in any show. Lost just happens to have all of them.
The first scene I hate watching is women going into TV labor. You all know what I'm talking about. They have one sharp pain, and suddenly the baby is crowning. I understand that TV births have to be somewhat unrealistic for the sake of moving foward with the plot, but really? You're not even going to let the woman have a few contractions before she has to push? Lost has several labor scenes, all of which consist of, "Ouch! Oh my gosh, it's coming! Push! BAM! Baby."
Thank heaven for Call the Midwife for redeeming TV childbirth.
The next scene I struggle with is the underwater scene. I have a hard time watching them because I feel like I have to hold my breath. The characters are always underwater for much longer than is humanly possible. I'm very aware of the point where I would just give up and inhale, so underwater scenes basically force me to imagine my own death over and over.
In addition to that, I'm claustrophobic and the thought of scuba diving or going on a submarine makes me completely anxious. Lost has a few submarine scenes, and the narrow hallways and the lack of natural light and windows makes my pulse rise. When I watch a submarine dive, I again imagine my death over and over.
(My first time on Finding Nemo's Submarine Voyage was really hard. I almost couldn't do it, but then I reasoned with myself. "Britt, if these windows break, and the water comes in, you can just stand up. You're not fully submerged." Now I'm okay on it, but I don't love it).
I also have a hard time watching MRI scenes due to claustrophobia. And of course, someone needs an MRI in season 6.
The next scene I struggle with is people kissing in the morning. All I can think about is how bad their breath would be. Really? You just roll over and start open-mouth kissing each other? You just woke up! You haven't brushed your teeth! Are there people out there who don't have morning breath?
I am truly asking. Are there?
The last one I will mention today (because I'm sure there are more I haven't thought of) might seem a little odd. It's another kissing thing. It makes me uneasy when heads tilt to the left. I don't mind if they go right and then left, but when they start on the left or stay on the left, I feel like something is wrong.
I first noticed this at my sister-in-law's wedding. When she and her husband kissed, it looked really weird and uncomfortable to me. I kept thinking, "Something is wrong with the way they kiss!" but I couldn't figure out what it was. Later, I saw them kiss again, and I realized that I really wanted their heads to go to the right. That was the problem - they went left!
There are a lot of left kisses in Lost which leaves me wondering if that's the way the actors naturally did the scene or if the director specifically instructed them to go left. There are probably times when going left is better for the camera angle, but it messes with my mind.
Which leads me to my personal mantra to always choose the right!
Season One: 6
Season Two: 7
Season Three: 6
Season Four: 5
Season Five: 4
Season Six: 3
(If you're curious, the reason I have watched some seasons more than others is because when the show was on TV but off-season, I would go back and watch the past seasons in anticipation of the new season. This time I started watching in season 2, which is why it has the most. I skipped season 1 this round because I was trying to catch up to Shannon, who was also watching it).
I love Lost (if you've been around here for a while, you know this), but there are some scenes I struggle watching. It's not a Lost-exclusive problem, though. These are scenes that make me cringe in any show. Lost just happens to have all of them.
The first scene I hate watching is women going into TV labor. You all know what I'm talking about. They have one sharp pain, and suddenly the baby is crowning. I understand that TV births have to be somewhat unrealistic for the sake of moving foward with the plot, but really? You're not even going to let the woman have a few contractions before she has to push? Lost has several labor scenes, all of which consist of, "Ouch! Oh my gosh, it's coming! Push! BAM! Baby."
Thank heaven for Call the Midwife for redeeming TV childbirth.
The next scene I struggle with is the underwater scene. I have a hard time watching them because I feel like I have to hold my breath. The characters are always underwater for much longer than is humanly possible. I'm very aware of the point where I would just give up and inhale, so underwater scenes basically force me to imagine my own death over and over.
In addition to that, I'm claustrophobic and the thought of scuba diving or going on a submarine makes me completely anxious. Lost has a few submarine scenes, and the narrow hallways and the lack of natural light and windows makes my pulse rise. When I watch a submarine dive, I again imagine my death over and over.
(My first time on Finding Nemo's Submarine Voyage was really hard. I almost couldn't do it, but then I reasoned with myself. "Britt, if these windows break, and the water comes in, you can just stand up. You're not fully submerged." Now I'm okay on it, but I don't love it).
I also have a hard time watching MRI scenes due to claustrophobia. And of course, someone needs an MRI in season 6.
The next scene I struggle with is people kissing in the morning. All I can think about is how bad their breath would be. Really? You just roll over and start open-mouth kissing each other? You just woke up! You haven't brushed your teeth! Are there people out there who don't have morning breath?
I am truly asking. Are there?
The last one I will mention today (because I'm sure there are more I haven't thought of) might seem a little odd. It's another kissing thing. It makes me uneasy when heads tilt to the left. I don't mind if they go right and then left, but when they start on the left or stay on the left, I feel like something is wrong.
I first noticed this at my sister-in-law's wedding. When she and her husband kissed, it looked really weird and uncomfortable to me. I kept thinking, "Something is wrong with the way they kiss!" but I couldn't figure out what it was. Later, I saw them kiss again, and I realized that I really wanted their heads to go to the right. That was the problem - they went left!
There are a lot of left kisses in Lost which leaves me wondering if that's the way the actors naturally did the scene or if the director specifically instructed them to go left. There are probably times when going left is better for the camera angle, but it messes with my mind.
Which leads me to my personal mantra to always choose the right!
Saturday, March 3, 2018
The Long but Incomplete List of Things I Won't Do
For Valentine's Day, Scotty gave me a card telling me that he'd planned a date for us that would get us out of our comfort zones.
I tried to not freak out, but inside, I was scared to death. I didn't hide it as well as I hoped. Scotty knew right away that I was not okay. He offered to tell me what the date was (it was about four days out), but I told him not to tell me because if it was something I would hate, I didn't want to spend four days dreading it.
(My poor husband).
The next day, we had a very thorough conversation about possible dates. Scotty asked me about all sort of activities, most of which I said I would not be interested in doing.
Here is a fact about me:
I am not adventurous.
Like, not at all.
(My poor husband).
I told Scotty that if our surprise date involved being up high in any way, he needed to cancel it. I keep my feet on the ground. He's been instructed to never "surprise" me with an activity that requires me to go up in the air.
This claim made me consider whether I would do a trapeze class, if ever an option. Would I? No. Why? Because I'm too overweight to hold myself up. But if I were 50-75 pounds lighter, would I?
In truth, I don't know. I want to say yes, but I seriously don't think I could get myself to swing on a trapeze. I don't know if it's a fear of heights, though. I think it's a control issue.
Here is a fact about me:
I am a control freak.
(My poor husband).
I don't think I can swing from a trapeze because 1) I might fail and/or fall, 2) I would feel out of control, and 3) I can't stand the idea of people watching me try something for the first time.
I also don't want to zip line, sky dive, or do a ropes course. Maybe I'll have a near-death experience someday that will change my mind, but for now, this is my policy. I don't go up high, especially for a "surprise."
I also don't like being wet, so Scotty has been instructed to never surprise me by taking me swimming or anything like unto it. No indoor surfing for this gal.
There are some things I would be willing to do with a group of close friends but not with Scotty alone. I could maybe do a ropes course with a group of friends. I just can't deal with strangers and being up high all at once.
I'd be willing to go to Top Golf with friends or play paintball with friends (but the whole paintball arena has to be friends or friends of friends because I can't shoot or be shot by strangers). There are some activities you just need groups for.
I am not interested in Paint Nite or Color Me Mine. I don't want to have my feet pedicured by fish. I don't want to go to a museum or aquarium that I normally take my children to.
I don't want to play mini golf or go cosmic ice skating.
I've reached a point in life where I don't need all the dating activities. What I need from a date is the chance to feel relieved from my responsibilities for a night and connect and spend time with Scotty. Mini golfing with my husband ain't no thing to me. It serves no purpose.
I can tolerate bowling about once every five years. Add this to the list of activities I would prefer to do with a group.
I don't want to take a ballroom dance class with my husband. I know there are women who dream of this. Not me.
I don't mind riding the Alpine slide (after the horrible part where I have to go up high on a ski lift). And I'm slightly open to bob sledding (maybe I'm only 90% adventure-less, but the percentage is still high enough to warrant the description of "not adventurous).
After our conversation, I was really anxious to find out what Scotty had planned, and I hoped I didn't crush his dreams. He was really trying! And he'd donated plasma for weeks to pay for our mystery date.
In my heart, I hoped it was a couple's massage, but that didn't fit the "out of our comfort zones" description. I'm totally cool with getting naked for strangers and letting them rub me. In fact, it's one case where I really like strangers (as opposed to people I went to high school with - which was what happened last time I had a massage).
It turned out to be precisely what I hoped for! We went to dinner and used a gift card we got for Christmas. Then we went and had massages. It was exactly what I needed - time with Scotty and a chance to relax. And since Scotty had never had a massage, it was our of his comfort zone, but he loved it (I always knew he would).
For this Valentine's Day surprise, Scotty nailed it!
(Part of me wonders if he initially had something else planned but changed it after my reaction. I'm not even going to ask him. I'll feel too horrible if that's what happened).
I tried to not freak out, but inside, I was scared to death. I didn't hide it as well as I hoped. Scotty knew right away that I was not okay. He offered to tell me what the date was (it was about four days out), but I told him not to tell me because if it was something I would hate, I didn't want to spend four days dreading it.
(My poor husband).
The next day, we had a very thorough conversation about possible dates. Scotty asked me about all sort of activities, most of which I said I would not be interested in doing.
Here is a fact about me:
I am not adventurous.
Like, not at all.
(My poor husband).
I told Scotty that if our surprise date involved being up high in any way, he needed to cancel it. I keep my feet on the ground. He's been instructed to never "surprise" me with an activity that requires me to go up in the air.
This claim made me consider whether I would do a trapeze class, if ever an option. Would I? No. Why? Because I'm too overweight to hold myself up. But if I were 50-75 pounds lighter, would I?
In truth, I don't know. I want to say yes, but I seriously don't think I could get myself to swing on a trapeze. I don't know if it's a fear of heights, though. I think it's a control issue.
Here is a fact about me:
I am a control freak.
(My poor husband).
I don't think I can swing from a trapeze because 1) I might fail and/or fall, 2) I would feel out of control, and 3) I can't stand the idea of people watching me try something for the first time.
I also don't want to zip line, sky dive, or do a ropes course. Maybe I'll have a near-death experience someday that will change my mind, but for now, this is my policy. I don't go up high, especially for a "surprise."
I also don't like being wet, so Scotty has been instructed to never surprise me by taking me swimming or anything like unto it. No indoor surfing for this gal.
There are some things I would be willing to do with a group of close friends but not with Scotty alone. I could maybe do a ropes course with a group of friends. I just can't deal with strangers and being up high all at once.
I'd be willing to go to Top Golf with friends or play paintball with friends (but the whole paintball arena has to be friends or friends of friends because I can't shoot or be shot by strangers). There are some activities you just need groups for.
I am not interested in Paint Nite or Color Me Mine. I don't want to have my feet pedicured by fish. I don't want to go to a museum or aquarium that I normally take my children to.
I don't want to play mini golf or go cosmic ice skating.
I've reached a point in life where I don't need all the dating activities. What I need from a date is the chance to feel relieved from my responsibilities for a night and connect and spend time with Scotty. Mini golfing with my husband ain't no thing to me. It serves no purpose.
I can tolerate bowling about once every five years. Add this to the list of activities I would prefer to do with a group.
I don't want to take a ballroom dance class with my husband. I know there are women who dream of this. Not me.
I don't mind riding the Alpine slide (after the horrible part where I have to go up high on a ski lift). And I'm slightly open to bob sledding (maybe I'm only 90% adventure-less, but the percentage is still high enough to warrant the description of "not adventurous).
After our conversation, I was really anxious to find out what Scotty had planned, and I hoped I didn't crush his dreams. He was really trying! And he'd donated plasma for weeks to pay for our mystery date.
In my heart, I hoped it was a couple's massage, but that didn't fit the "out of our comfort zones" description. I'm totally cool with getting naked for strangers and letting them rub me. In fact, it's one case where I really like strangers (as opposed to people I went to high school with - which was what happened last time I had a massage).
It turned out to be precisely what I hoped for! We went to dinner and used a gift card we got for Christmas. Then we went and had massages. It was exactly what I needed - time with Scotty and a chance to relax. And since Scotty had never had a massage, it was our of his comfort zone, but he loved it (I always knew he would).
For this Valentine's Day surprise, Scotty nailed it!
(Part of me wonders if he initially had something else planned but changed it after my reaction. I'm not even going to ask him. I'll feel too horrible if that's what happened).
Friday, March 2, 2018
The ER
Last week, Daisy contracted cellulitis in her arm (I'll spare you the photos of the infection). She had an IV in her arm for four days and had to have nightly doses of antibiotics in the hospital. The IV came out on Tuesday. We're not in the clear quite yet. We're keeping a close eye on it, and she is continuing on oral antibiotics.
Part of me was super chill about the experience, but another part of me was a complete basket case.
The emergency room is a horrible place. It wasn't my first time there, by any means, but after being there four days in a row, I am abhorred by it. We had so many issues, and the quality of care was shockingly poor. I can understand one bad hospital experience, but day after day of it really makes me concerned for humanity.
After going to the ER four times in four days, I started saying, "We've been to the ER more this week than I have been in my entire life!"
Then I started wondering if that was actually true, so I dug in the deep files of my mind to recall all my emergency room experiences.
My first visit to the ER was when I was a child. My nose started bleeding while we were camping, and it bled pretty consistently for about two days. My parents finally drove me down the mountain to a small town hospital. They talked about cauterizing it, but I don't think they ended up doing it. If they did, I've somehow blocked the memory of it. What they did do, for sure, was shove a tampon up my nostril where it remained for several days. When I had it removed, it felt like it was pulling my brain out with it (it was a wound tampon, so it didn't have a string. In fact, I don’t know if “tampon” would be the correct medical term for it, but it was totally a tampon. I had to have it removed by a doctor). I remember having nightmares about my nose tampon while it was in. I thrashed all through the night because I was uncomfortable and had a hard time breathing through one nostril. I was instructed to keep the tampon moist, so I had to squirt it with water from a syringe several times during the day.
Now I live the bloody nose lifestyle with my own son whose nose bleeds constantly. His has been cauterized, but the blood vessel is so large that the ENT said he would need to do it in the operating room under anesthesia to really get it to work. Nicky's nose has gotten a little better, though, so we haven't gone that route yet. No ER visits for Nicky's bloody noses, though. Our ENT instructed us to always call him first, and that has saved me from having to make the choice to go to the ER.
My next ER visit was when I was 14. I got a pain in my side while playing basketball. I thought it was a side ache, but it wouldn't go away. It got increasingly worse over several days. If I laughed, coughed, or even breathed wrong, the pain was excruciating. I knew I was going to die, so I wrote a will. I wanted to make sure my friend Michelle got my stereo. But my mom took me to the ER, so I didn't die after all. I had pleurisy, an infection in the lining of my lungs.
The next visit was for Nicky. He fell in a window well at a family party and hit his head. He threw up after, so we were worried he had a concussion. He ended up being fine (no concussion). In fact, they were more concerned about his nose, which was slightly swollen, than his head, and we hadn't even noticed his nose!
After that, I had two ER visits for myself in one week. I had some bizarre stroke-like symptoms, one of which was severe head pain. The first hospital treated me very poorly, so I declined some of their services and went home (after being there for four hours, the symptoms had mostly subsided). I threw up on the triage nurse while I was there. I don't even feel bad about it. The next hospital (one week later when the same symptoms hit again) was wonderful. They did a C/T scan and a spinal tap but didn't find anything wrong.
Then we had facial stitches for Nicky, Zoe, and Eva on three separate occasions.
And that brings me to a total of nine ER visits prior to Daisy's cellulitis. So that means my statement of being there more in one week than I'd been in my whole life was slightly inaccurate.
At any rate, I prefer to avoid the place altogether.
After going to the ER four times in four days, I started saying, "We've been to the ER more this week than I have been in my entire life!"
Then I started wondering if that was actually true, so I dug in the deep files of my mind to recall all my emergency room experiences.
My first visit to the ER was when I was a child. My nose started bleeding while we were camping, and it bled pretty consistently for about two days. My parents finally drove me down the mountain to a small town hospital. They talked about cauterizing it, but I don't think they ended up doing it. If they did, I've somehow blocked the memory of it. What they did do, for sure, was shove a tampon up my nostril where it remained for several days. When I had it removed, it felt like it was pulling my brain out with it (it was a wound tampon, so it didn't have a string. In fact, I don’t know if “tampon” would be the correct medical term for it, but it was totally a tampon. I had to have it removed by a doctor). I remember having nightmares about my nose tampon while it was in. I thrashed all through the night because I was uncomfortable and had a hard time breathing through one nostril. I was instructed to keep the tampon moist, so I had to squirt it with water from a syringe several times during the day.
Now I live the bloody nose lifestyle with my own son whose nose bleeds constantly. His has been cauterized, but the blood vessel is so large that the ENT said he would need to do it in the operating room under anesthesia to really get it to work. Nicky's nose has gotten a little better, though, so we haven't gone that route yet. No ER visits for Nicky's bloody noses, though. Our ENT instructed us to always call him first, and that has saved me from having to make the choice to go to the ER.
My next ER visit was when I was 14. I got a pain in my side while playing basketball. I thought it was a side ache, but it wouldn't go away. It got increasingly worse over several days. If I laughed, coughed, or even breathed wrong, the pain was excruciating. I knew I was going to die, so I wrote a will. I wanted to make sure my friend Michelle got my stereo. But my mom took me to the ER, so I didn't die after all. I had pleurisy, an infection in the lining of my lungs.
The next visit was for Nicky. He fell in a window well at a family party and hit his head. He threw up after, so we were worried he had a concussion. He ended up being fine (no concussion). In fact, they were more concerned about his nose, which was slightly swollen, than his head, and we hadn't even noticed his nose!
After that, I had two ER visits for myself in one week. I had some bizarre stroke-like symptoms, one of which was severe head pain. The first hospital treated me very poorly, so I declined some of their services and went home (after being there for four hours, the symptoms had mostly subsided). I threw up on the triage nurse while I was there. I don't even feel bad about it. The next hospital (one week later when the same symptoms hit again) was wonderful. They did a C/T scan and a spinal tap but didn't find anything wrong.
Then we had facial stitches for Nicky, Zoe, and Eva on three separate occasions.
And that brings me to a total of nine ER visits prior to Daisy's cellulitis. So that means my statement of being there more in one week than I'd been in my whole life was slightly inaccurate.
At any rate, I prefer to avoid the place altogether.
Thursday, March 1, 2018
Moving On
For the past three years, I've taught youth Sunday school at church. This is my second time serving as a youth Sunday school teacher. My first calling (church job) was teaching youth Sunday school as an 18-year-old. In hindsight, I laugh because I was a youth teaching the youth! But I thought I was so grown up and cool (I even wrote about how cool I was in my Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Journal. All legit adults have one of those, right?)
I loved teaching Sunday school then, and I loved it the second time around. It is, by far, my favorite calling, and the one I would hand-pick if I could.
Recently my time as a Sunday school teacher came to an end. It's been very emotional over the past few weeks as I've prepared to leave my class. I wasn't ready for the change. I cried every day for the first week after I heard the news. Then I cried every two days for the week after that.
The worst part of it was when I had to teach my class, knowing that I would be leaving them soon, but not being able to tell them yet. Of course that day, a girl said in the opening prayer, "We're thankful for Brittany."
Cue tears.
I had to suck them back in and get on with the lesson.
The thing about teenagers is...
They are hard. Frankly, I'm terrified of them.
But when I serve and teach them as individuals, they are everything to me!
(Sidenote: Remember how Scotty and I were Ma & Pa for Trek a couple of years ago? We loved our family of teenagers so much. The same week I found out I was being released from Sunday school, two of our Trek children got engaged... to each other!!! And one received his mission call. It was a big week for my teenagers. Again... they become everything to me!)
During my time teaching Sunday school, I faced plenty of challenges. I had kids walk out of my lessons. I had kids make me cry. Sometimes I felt defeated, lost, or overwhelmed. Sometimes my lessons were really, really bad.
But I loved it.
And I loved them. My teenagers.
I loved teaching Sunday school then, and I loved it the second time around. It is, by far, my favorite calling, and the one I would hand-pick if I could.
Recently my time as a Sunday school teacher came to an end. It's been very emotional over the past few weeks as I've prepared to leave my class. I wasn't ready for the change. I cried every day for the first week after I heard the news. Then I cried every two days for the week after that.
The worst part of it was when I had to teach my class, knowing that I would be leaving them soon, but not being able to tell them yet. Of course that day, a girl said in the opening prayer, "We're thankful for Brittany."
Cue tears.
I had to suck them back in and get on with the lesson.
The thing about teenagers is...
They are hard. Frankly, I'm terrified of them.
But when I serve and teach them as individuals, they are everything to me!
(Sidenote: Remember how Scotty and I were Ma & Pa for Trek a couple of years ago? We loved our family of teenagers so much. The same week I found out I was being released from Sunday school, two of our Trek children got engaged... to each other!!! And one received his mission call. It was a big week for my teenagers. Again... they become everything to me!)
During my time teaching Sunday school, I faced plenty of challenges. I had kids walk out of my lessons. I had kids make me cry. Sometimes I felt defeated, lost, or overwhelmed. Sometimes my lessons were really, really bad.
But I loved it.
And I loved them. My teenagers.
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