Sunday Sentiments: Cheering for One Another

We are just short of two weeks away from General Conference. Time flies in between Conferences now that I’m a real life grown up. We were talking to Nicky about it last week, saying, “Can you believe this will be your second General Conference on the mission?” It’s also crazy to think that it’s been six months since President Nelson passed away.

One of my favorite talks from October’s General Conference was “Cheering Each Other On,” by Sister Dennis.

Simply put, her message was that we all need to have a sense of belonging and purpose, and we all experience silent struggles, thus, we all need to “cheer each other on in our journey of discipleship no matter our circumstances.”

Cheering each other on can happen in a lot of different ways. It might mean complimenting someone, expressing gratitude, or giving words of encouragement. It might mean offering a seat or lending a listening ear. And it definitely means showing genuine happiness for the successes and good news of others. 

When I was working on my practicum for school, I came across some research by social psychologists that showed that good relationships are not distinguished by how we respond to each other's disappointments and hardships but by how we respond to one another's good news. Good fortune for others can bring feelings of envy or competition, so we need to be careful about how we respond when something good is going on in the life of another person. 

There are four ways we typically respond to someone else's good news:

1. Active-Constructive

This is giving an enthusiastic and sincere reaction. "That's amazing news! I'm so happy for you. Tell me more..."

2. Passive-Constructive

This is giving a silent or modest support response. "That's cool."

3. Active-Destructive

This response downplays the importance of the news or brings attention to the potential problems. "You bought a new house? I guess you won't be retiring anytime soon."

4. Passive-Destructive

This is being uninterested, ignoring the news, or turning the focus back on yourself. "Well, I got a new job offer this week!"

We've probably all experienced each of these responses from both sides. 

If we are truly cheering each other on, we will give an active-constructive response when good things happen to other people. We can do this by:

• Paying attention
• Asking lots of questions
• Celebrating (when appropriate)
• Sharing the news with others (when appropriate)

I, personally, am not naturally good at this, and it's something I'm always trying to improve on. But I have some friends who are very good at it, so I'm always excited to share good news with them because they are so genuine in welcoming my joy. It's such a good feeling to have people cheering you on. I hope I can get better at creating that feeling for others. 

Sister Dennis said that it "takes great courage for some of [us] to to step into the arena of life everyday, knowing [we] may be judged unfairly even though [we're] doing the best [we] can against daunting odds..."

Sometimes we forget that when others have good fortune or when something looks like it comes easy to someone, there are still hard things going on behind the scenes. 

She continued, "it is a basic human need for all of us to feel a sense of belonging, to feel that we are wanted and needed and that our lives have purpose and meaning, no matter our circumstances or limitations."

As we navigate the hard things in life, it's always nice to have someone rooting for us. I really liked Sister Dennis' message and want to try to be better at cheering others on - remembering that we're all just trying our best, and we can boost one another through encouragement and love.