Prom Things

Daisy went to prom for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Learning the ropes of the modern-day school dances has been a challenge for me. My kids go to the same high school I went to, so some things are the same, but a lot of things are different.

Having a date is no longer a requirement. People attend in all sorts of configurations. Tickets are for individuals (whereas they used to be for couples). Things are less formal, at least at our high school. At homecoming you have everything from gowns to jeans and Hawaiian shirts. I don’t think anyone rents tuxedos for formals anymore. There are no longer professional photographers at the event. They usually only have one slow song. 

I’ve learned that, when it comes to dances, my job is to make sure my kids have clothes and flowers (and flowers aren’t always an expectation anymore). Other than that, I only step in if I’m asked. I started off trying to help with a lot of things with Nicky, but it only caused frustration. Now I just tell my kids to let me know if they need help with anything. I don’t give suggestions or offer specific assistance u less they request it. If I think they’re going to miss their dinner reservation, I just let it happen. If they don’t have someone lined up to take their photos, so be it. 

The day of prom, a Facebook group showed up on my feed where there was a discussion about proms. A parent asked a few questions, and the people participating in the discussion were from all over the country. I was fascinated by what they said about their proms. Here are a few things I learned about proms:

Some are planned by student government (that’s ours), some by teachers, some by committees, and some by parents.

Some schools require the students to meet at the school, and then they are bused to the prom location.

One school said they host a breakfast from 12-2 a.m. to try and keep the kids sober (I don’t know how that helps).

Ticket prices range from free to $300 per ticket! (Ours are $15 per ticket, and people complain that it’s too much).

Some schools only allow certain grades to attend prom (ours is “junior prom” but all grades can attend. The junior class plans it, and the royalty is selected from the juniors).

One school said the attendees travel convoy style with a police escort from prom back to the school for a lock in event (they stay at the school overnight for activities).

Some proms have sit down meals and different “rooms” with rented activities like bounce houses, arcade games, etc. 

Multiple schools said they issue random breathalyzer tests. 

I’ve heard of schools reducing the number of dances they hold each year, and I’ve heard of schools completely eliminating dances. Our school has six dances per year, so that ends up being almost every six weeks. I don’t think I’d be sad if our school reduced the number of dances. Especially now that I just have girls. It’s heart breaking when my daughter doesn’t get asked to the dance, but it’s also stressful and a source of worry when she does! It’s an experience I want my kids to have, but at the same time, school dances have been a huge pain in the tuchus.