Zoe: Mom, what is this stuff?
Me: Velteeta
Zoe: Belbeetee?
Me: No. VEL-VEET-TAH!
Zoe: Velbeetus?
Me: Let’s just go with cheese.
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Scotty: I’m working on my dictuation.
Britt: You mean ‘diction?’
Scotty: Yeah, that!
—————
Zoe: Rabbits have 20,000 tastebuds, and humans only have 9,000. Except for me. I have 9,001.
(I googled this, and none of those numbers are correct).
—————
Zoe: Imagine how good German pancakes must taste to a rabbit!
—————
Eva: Are you even listening to me?
Zoe: Do I look like a girl who listens?
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Eva: Why is it called a ‘honeymoon?’
Zoe: Because you get to be with your honey, and you can stay up all night looking at the moon.
—————
Zoe: I’m really good at best case scenarios.
—————
Eva: Can I watch a show on your phone?
Scotty: No.
Eva: I think you said ‘yes’ wrong!
—————
Me: I must have slept weird. I have a bit of a kink in my neck.
Eva: You have a neck?
—————
Zoe: I only eat granola bars that have sprinkles or 59 chocolate chips.
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Eva: Where does Nicky keep his cocaine?
Me: Do you even know what cocaine is?
Eva: Yes, it’s like breath mints.
———-
Zoe: How many cousins do I have?
Me: I have no idea. Our family is so big that I can’t keep track.
Zoe: What about Luke and Logan?
Me: They are your cousins by marriage but not by blood. They don’t have the same blood we do, but they are still our family.
Zoe: Is it because I’m cold-blooded?
(With our combined siblings (biological, half, and step) Scotty and I have over 60 warm-blooded nieces and nephews).
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