Kid Quotes

I continue to be blown away by all the things our phones can do. It's amazing to think of everything that can be replaced by a phone - calculators, calendars, six-disc CD changers... heck, even friends!

Someday we will be able to pee on our phones and they will tell us if we're pregnant. Just you wait!

Anyway, one of the things I use my phone for is to keep notes and lists (but not "to do" lists because I can't even) (somewhere on this blog I've written about my aversion for "to do" lists, and if I ever find it, I'll link to it here). 

Some of my notes and lists include:

• Links to recipes I want to try
• Ideas for singing time 
• Blog post ideas
• Moments I feel that God is real (this is a good one!)
• Birthday poster ideas
• Gift ideas
• Books I want to read

One other note I keep is a list of funny things my kids say. Here are some of my kids quotes from the last couple of months (I only wish I could capture their voices as they say it because their little speech impediments are half the joy!)

"The easiest way to build a man-made lake is to dig a hole and put water in it." 

- Nicky

Wiser words have never been spoken, my dear boy.

"Jimmy Fallon is educational TV. If I didn't watch Jimmy Fallon, I wouldn't have been able to know that Beyonce is married to Jay-Z, and I wouldn't have been able to guess Jay-Z in CatchPhrase." 

- Nicky

He does have a point...

"Eva, let's pretend we can fly and poop on stores!" 

- Zoe

Dream big, Zoe!

"Mom, you were born weird." 

- Nicky

So you're saying it's genetic?

Nicky: I want to make a fried egg, but I have nothing to put it on. 

Me: Put it on toast.

Nicky: No, I mean like a tavern burger.

I don't routinely keep tavern burgers in the house.

"When I grow up I'm going to play two instruments in a band: the guitar and talking loud in a microphone." 

- Zoe

Again with the big dreams! 

One day Eva wouldn't go in the bathroom alone at her grandma's house because she was "too afraid."

Me: What are you "too afraid" of?

Eva: Bad guys and evil cats.

Aren't we all?

Nicky to Eva and Zoe: 

"You two have little kid taste buds, so you like gross things like McDonald's. I have proper adult taste buds, so I prefer gourmet things like KFC."

Up and Running

Thanks to my BCIL (best-cousin-in-law) Cyndi, my laptop is up and running again. After my dramatic words regarding tiny screwdrivers, Cyndi ordered me a set from Target, and it arrived in the mail today, giving me a good laugh!

From hence forth, I pledge to be a responsible tiny screwdriver owner.

Wanna know what's really sad? I turned my computer on after I fixed it, and the date said Wednesday, November 14th. I haven't had my laptop for over a month!

Because tiny screwdrivers!

Actually, that's not the only reason. For a while I couldn't charge my laptop, but Scotty was able to figure out the problem, and while it isn't "fixed," we found a way to work around it. But then I have this problem where a piece in my laptop slips out of place all the time, and my computer-savvy cousin (no relation to BCIL Cyndi) made a photo tutorial for me on how to fix it, so I'm able to take care of it by myself instead of taking it into the shop all the time.

Not that I have any idea what I'm doing. I just do what the pictures say and hit the right buttons and stuff and eventually my computer works again.

So thank you, Cyndi, from the bottom of my heart for taking action and solving my tiny screwdriver problems. Blogging will be a lot easier now, but I'm not sure if it will be more frequent since the month of December has been spent with my kids clinging to me and punching the daylights out of each other.

(Seriously, what is with these people?)

Before I Spring Into Action

My kids just left for school, and I'm taking a moment.

A moment for the TV to babysit Eva.

A moment to sit and do nothing.

A moment to blog a little.

A moment to be lazy without guilt.

And then I will spring into action... in theory. I always have the thought running through my mind that, "Any moment now I will spring into action! Just you wait!"

Like Alexander Hamilton, there's a million things I haven't done. But I think we mean two entirely different things when we say that.

One of the million things I haven't done is get my laptop fixed. I'm currently typing from an old laptop that's such a piece of junk it can't even store a photo. I might be able to fix my laptop myself, but that would require me to spring into action and find a tiny screwdriver. Nothing's worse than having to find a tiny screwdriver. Amiright?

Another thing I haven't done is finish Christmas shopping. I'm mostly done, but I have a couple of people I'm still hunting down gifts for (and let's be honest... the Christmas budget ran out a long time ago). I also have several birthdays between now and the end of January that I need to buy gifts for. I'm feeling very uninspired in the gift-giving department. Maybe I should just buy everyone a tiny screwdriver.

I also need to finish reading the Book of Mormon as we were challenged to do by the prophet during General Conference. I fell behind a little bit, but as of two days ago, I'm caught up and on track! I want my promised miracles, so I'm in this 100%! I want to finish early though, so I'm not scrambling to finish at the last minute. I've had a really hard time completing this challenge - all the fates have conspired against me to stop me from doing this, which is a testament to me of how very important it is that I do it.

I've made some personal observations about scripture study this time around:

First, the majority of my scripture study yields nothing. I do it because know I should, and I am desperately seeking blessings, but most of the time, I don't feel like I gain anything from it. In fact, sometimes I am even worse off spiritually when I'm diligently reading the scriptures than when I am not.  I think this is for two reasons:

#1: The adversary is going to work harder on me when I'm trying to do something good for myself. He will try to discourage me, distract me, and disappoint me, so it makes sense that I'm met with opposition any time I'm trying to dedicate myself to the scriptures. 

#2: It's been ingrained in me that reading my scriptures is supposed to be a "cure all." Whatever ailments I have - physical, spiritual, or mental - the scriptures are supposed to fix, right? If I'm a crappy wife and mother, reading my scriptures should help fix that. If I'm losing my faith - scriptures! If I'm depressed - scriptures! If I hate my neighbor - scriptures! If I have a question - scriptures! So my expectations are pretty high, but those things don't necessarily get fixed, so I wrestle with the practice and think, "Why am I trying so hard to do this when it's not fixing me?"

Now, don't panic. Because here's what I've learned from my personal experience:

Nine times out of ten, when I read the scriptures, I don't get a lot out of it. But ONE TIME out of ten, I stumble across something that reaches my soul. This has happened twice in the past two weeks, so I might even be able to say ONE TIME OUT OF SEVEN!!! So six times, are just mindless scripture study, and then I go on with my day, but that ONE TIME is so insightful and meaningful that I ask myself, "Is studying the scriptures worth the effort to experience this feeling ONE TIME OUT OF TEN (or seven... or whatever the number be because I'm sure it's different for everyone)?" and the answer is YES! It is worth it!

Now, if you're different, and you experience something amazing every time you read the scriptures, I'm happy for you. But let me represent those of us for whom that doesn't happen. If I only gain something meaningful from my scriptures ONE IN SEVEN TIMES I read, that is enough to make it worth it. Because that ONE THING is very personalized and very, very good.

I'm just going to leave you with all that crazy wording and trust you to make sense of it.

So, that is my first observation.

My next observation is that I love having the scriptures on my phone. For several years, I really didn't like reading the scriptures (or any other books) on digital devices, but now I'm a fan. The last time I read the Book of Mormon, I did so on my phone, though I didn't want to. I ended up marking a lot of things and writing a lot of detailed notes. So this time, going back through the Book of Mormon and reading my notes from last time has been very rewarding. I've always written notes in the margins of my scriptures (and many other books - ya'll know my affinity for marginalia), but with the gospel library app, I've been able to write more of my personal thoughts and make it into more of a journal. I've also been able to add links to talks and other useful info.

I really believed that as soon as this was written I would spring into action, but this took four days to write, and now I want to put a heating pad on my cold feet and take a nap. I'm sure I'll spring into action after that...

I Want to Eat All the Christmas Treats (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: My lap top is currently "out of order." This complicates my life, although I could take it to the shop near Moochies and use it as an excuse to get a Philly cheesesteak sandwich.

(But who needs an excuse?)

Fact #2: Every day when I'm nowhere near a computer, my mind is full of ideas for blog posts. Then when I sit down to actually write something, I draw a complete blank.

I swear I write amazing stuff in my mind while I'm driving my van! I'm sorry you never get to read it.

Fact #3: During the past few weeks in primary, I've been singing "Away in a Manger" with the kids (I'm the primary music leader). Today Zoe told me that it just might be "the most beautifullest song in the whole wide world." She told me that I shouldn't keep it for myself, and that I should share it with everyone - like I own the copyright or something. Thank you, child, for believing that I am personally responsible for "Away in a Manger." It's my life's greatest accomplishment. Maybe she'll go around telling everyone that her mom wrote it. It will be like in sixth grade when Jessica Murkwood told everyone she choreographed the Bunny Hop.

Fact #4: I usually have an audiobook available on my phone at all times (my current practice is to have two audiobooks - one Harry Potter and one other). I always wonder, when I listen to an audiobook, whether I would like the book more or less if I read it in my own voice. In other words, how does the narrator affect how I feel about the book? I wish I could experience a book both ways and then compare, but once you've experienced it one way (either by reading it in your own voice or by reading it yourself) you can't undo it and go back and experience it the other way. The way you experience a book the first time will always affect the way you experience it the next time.

Know what I mean?

Things got a little wordy there.

Fact #5: I'm currently listening to Memoirs of a Geisha. I really don't think I've ever read it, but at some point I gave it a rating on Goodreads. Am I a liar or am I just really forgetful?

I really could be forgetful. I once read a book all the way through, didn't recognize a word of it, and then saw from my Goodreads profile that I'd read it several years prior. And by the review I wrote, I very clearly did read the book.

Fact #6: Memoirs of a Geisha was written over twenty years ago. This kind of surprises me because it seems like it didn't come out that long ago. Then again, I'm fashionably, technologically, and mentally stuck in 2006, so I no longer know where I am in space and time.

Fact #7: Speaking of twenty years, it dawned on me the other day that I've been visiting my mother-in-law on Sunday evenings for twenty years.

I'm at a point in life where I can say I've been doing stuff for twenty years! And that such and such happened twenty years ago!

Like Party of Five. That show ended 20 years ago. And I am watching it now, and I'm on the last season, and can I just say that it is awful? The show has it's good moments, but by the time it went off air it was a total mess. I'm a few episodes from finishing it, and good heavens! What is wrong with these fictional people?

I do love revisiting the 90's though. The haircuts! The baggy men's clothing! The pagers!

Fact #8: My kids were watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the van today, and I realized, based on listening to the audio, how incredibly annoying that deer's nose was. Not because it was red but because it made a horrible screeching sound anytime it glowed. How did his parents deal?

It reminded me a lot of my own son... who also makes a lot of horrible screeching sounds.

Fact #9: This is a commonality that I've noticed among all boys Nicky's age (and up to 15-ish). They are always squealing like pigs, yelling one-syllable words like "oi" or "oof," and snapping or popping their hands. The only time they are quiet is when they are doing the floss or the orange justice, and that's only because they can't multi-task. Do they have an overwhelming desire to be heard and seen, or are they just bored?

Fact #10: Since the new year us approaching, Scotty and I talked about transitioning to a digital calendar that we can both access. That way when he gets assigned to go to somewhere like India for work, he can check our calendar and (gasp!) put the dates in it himself! So as I do every year, I started messing around with a few calendaring apps and immediately gave up. I can't do it. I can't keep a digital calendar. It makes me crazy! So paper it is.

Maybe next year.

Birthday Posters

This year, I've resumed my duties as my kids' school's Official Birthday Poster Maker. The school opened when Nicky was in first grade. This morning I hung the very last birthday poster that will have his name on it.

Why does junior high have to be a thing? WHY?

Anyway, here are the posters I've made so far this year. 

September

October

November

December

Now that I see the pictures all together, I'm noticing an abundance of blue. I'll have to broaden my color scheme in 2019.

Even though it's a lot of work, it's really fun to make the poster each month. Every time I go to the school to hang them up, whoever is in the hall at the time will stop and wait to see the poster unroll. I break out in a sweat while people watch me tape the paper to the wall (it ends up crooked every time - grumble, grumble), but I'm always met with some rewarding "Oooo's" and "Ahhhh's."

The Week That Almost Broke Me

Yesterday I mentioned that this past week has been crazy. We got back from California at 11:30 on Sunday night. Then we went right back to the weekday routine Monday morning.

On Monday night, my mom took Daisy and me to the Lindsey Stirling concert. It was really good! Totally worth the horrible traffic and crappy parking.

I wasn't sure if Daisy would like it, but it ended up being the perfect length for her attention span, and she loved it. 

During the day on Monday, I hauled our Christmas tree up from the basement and couldn't get most of the lights to work. Each time we put up the tree, there are issues with the lights, but Scotty always has them fixed within a few minutes, so when he got home, I told him he had "tree duty." After fussing with the lights for an hour, they still weren't working. When Daisy and I left for the concert, he was still working on the lights, and he ended up spending about four hours trying to get them to work. He even did fancy stuff with electrical tape. I would have given up much sooner, but even on Tuesday, Scotty still wasn't ready to give up on the lights. 

I was, though. So I decided to have the problem solved before he got home so he couldn't spend another four hours trying to get our lights to work. Scotty is very resourceful, and he's good at fixing things, but sometimes he spends waaaaay to much time doing it. I'm recalling the Weed Wacker Incident of Summer 2018... There are situations where time is more valuable than money. 

So I started considering whether I should buy new lights for the tree or just buy a new pre-lit tree. I went to Target to look at trees, and I found one that I loved, but it was $300, and that wasn't really an option financially (especially since my current tree was $20 on clearance at Lowe's 14 years ago). I found an "acceptable" tree for $120, but I decided it would be better to just replace the lights on our tree and save some money.

Spoiler alert: I should have just bought the $120 tree.

The $300 tree I liked had cool lights on it - they were little globes. I decided to buy the same kind of lights for my tree. I bought five packages and ended up having to go back for three more. With what I spent on lights, I could have spent a little more, saved myself five hours of work, and gotten a pre-lit tree. When I went back the second time, I was putting the boxes of lights in my cart when another lady came up and started grabbing the same lights. There weren't enough for both of us. I wanted the lights (plus I was there first), so I sweet talked her into buying a different kind. 

When I got home, I started removing the old lights from the tree. What a nightmare! It took me an hour and a half to get the lights off, and I ended up hacking them up with meat shears to remove them.

By the time I got the lights off the tree, both my hands had tiny cuts all over them from the tree branches, plus a few bigger slices. 

Scotty came home right as I was putting the finishing lights on the tree. The grand moment of lighting the tree arrived! I plugged it in, and one of the strands didn't work! Scotty and I started frantically checking the bulbs, and I swore that if that strand of lights didn't work, I was going to throw the tree and the $70 worth of lights out in the street, and we would have paper Christmas trees for the rest of time!

{our paper tree 2017}*

After several minutes (and me giving up) Scotty found the faulty bulb and replaced it (I intentionally bought lights that still work if a bulb burns out, but the wire under the bulb was damaged and wasn't making contact with the socket) (I don't even know if I'm using correct light bulb vocabulary here - just know that the thingy wasn't connecting with the thingy, and thankfully, Scotty figured it out cuz I was about to go Crazy Lady on that tree, and my kids would've remembered this year for the rest of their lives as the Christmas That Broke Mom).

On Wednesday, I checked Nicky and Daisy out of school for the Festival of Trees a dentist appointment. Earlier this year, the coach for our school's jump rope team passed away unexpectedly. It was the night before the big jump rope showcase for the end of the year. It was an absolute tragedy and just unreal. A member of the school community made a tree in her honor, and Nicky and Daisy both wanted to go see it. 

{A woodland tree for Mrs. Wood}

After the Festival of Trees dentist, I took the kids back to school, and I went home with a headache. I tried to sleep it off, but when I woke up, I felt really nauseous. I ended up spending the rest of the night puking. Wednesdays are not good days to puke. Nicky has jump rope after school, Zoe and Daisy have dance, Scotty has Young Men, Nicky has scouts, and Daisy has activity days. I'm pretty much in the car from 3:00-8:00 p.m. on Wednesdays. 

Scotty ended up having to handle everything while I was incapacitated. Fortunately, I woke up feeling much better yesterday morning. Just tired. 

Between being sick and fussing over Christmas lights, a big chunk of the week got away from me. But the good news is, I still have a Christmas tree.

*Reality check - the outlet in that photo still doesn't have a cover on it.

The Whirlwind Wedding Weekend

This past week has been crazy. Part of it was supposed to be crazy because we made a quick trip to California for my sister-in-law's wedding. The rest of it was unexpectedly crazy, and maybe I'll write more about that later.

But for now... the wedding.

Back in April, my sister-in-law got engaged.

As you can see, I was there for the big moment. 

My sister-in-law (let's call her Amber) was trying to decide between a small beach wedding in California or a big ceremony at home in Utah. The only plan that was set in stone was that the wedding would be on November 25 - that date was chosen because it is the date that the boyfriend's (let's call him Tim) parents were married and their parents were married and their parents were married (or something like that - resulting in Tim being the 4th generation to marry on November 25).

Tim and Amber ended up deciding to have a big wedding in Utah - which goes against everything "Amber." So I wasn't surprised one bit when Amber changed her mind in September and decided to do the beach wedding after all. It felt much truer to what Amber needed, so I was on board. 

(Did I mention that Amber put me in charge of decorating the big Utah wedding? It was right when it was time to start buying stuff that Amber changed plans. Luckily I hadn't spent any money yet and had only started asking people about borrowing items). 

We ended up starting our wedding journey on Thanksgiving. Scotty's mom kindly held her dinner early (at 11:30) so we could eat at her house and get on the road by 1:30 (we didn't expect her to do this, she just did, even though we told her not to plan around us. It was very nice of her). We were able to pack some Thanksgiving leftovers in a cooler and have a second helping in our hotel room in Saint George that night. 

On Friday, we left Saint George around 8:00 a.m. to drive to California. We stopped hourly for potty breaks and ate turkey sandwiches in a gas station parking lot right outside of Vegas (I highly recommend traveling with Thanksgiving food). We also stopped to see the Seven Magic Mountains - which we claim we are going to stop and see every time we pass through Vegas, but we never actually do because there's usually a kid sleeping, so we just push through. 

Trying to explain to our kids that someone thought painting rocks and stacking them on top of one another in the desert would be a nice piece of art proved difficult, but Zoe was really excited and kept saying "Pink rocks! Pink rocks!"

We also stopped at White Castle because Scotty and I had never eaten at White Castle, and it seemed like a rite of passage of some sort.

I give White Castle two thumbs down. 

We ended up arriving in Costa Mesa around 3:00 pm. We got checked into our hotel and then took the kids to the pool. That night, we went to dinner with most of the family that had come to California for the wedding. 

We were so tired when we got back to our hotel that we all fell asleep by 9:00 (the next night we were even more tired, and we all fell asleep by 8:00).

On Saturday, our kids were up at 5:00 - much to our dismay. We hung out in the hotel as long as we could stand, and then we decided to drive past Disneyland just to be mean to the kids. We also stopped and had breakfast at Jack in the Box. 

The kids moaned and whined as we drove past Disneyland, and Scotty and I got a kick out of this cruel form of child torture. Then Zoe got revenge on us by barfing up her Jack in the Box tacos in the back seat. 

We pulled over and cleaned up the mess, then we headed to the beach (luckily Zoe was just car sick, so she recovered quickly and easily, and we didn't have any more problems). 

We played at the beach for most of the day. It was a little chilly when we first got there at 10:00 a.m, but it warmed up nicely. Back home, all our friends and family were waking up to the first snowfall of the season. 

After the day at the beach, we went back to our hotel and hung out in the hot tub for a while. Then we grabbed some food from Lee's Sandwiches and went to TeWinkle park for a picnic. 

We got there right as the sun was setting, and I was sad I didn't get to see the park in daylight. It was a fun, little place. There were squirrels everywhere, a fun playground, and duck ponds with waterfall features and bridges. There were also rocks to climb on and cool twisty trees. 

Sunday was the Big Day. I texted Amber early in the morning to confirm that she was still getting married (she said she would probably show up), and then we headed to the beach for the ceremony. 

The beach was really beautiful, and it was early in the morning, so the tide was still pretty high - resulting in the bride and half the guests (me included) getting splashed by a giant wave. The wedding was low-key, but really nice. It was intimate and simple - I think it was perfect for Amber. 

My family made posters in lieu of wedding decor:

After the ceremony, we took some photos and caught a crab. 

Let's just acknowledge how creepy sea creatures are. Daisy had a hard time touching the crab, but she ended up doing it. I, on the other hand, refuse to touch anything shelly or sideways-walking. 

Ew.

After the kids all touched the sea creatures, the beach patrol came and put out the signs that say we aren't allowed to touch the animals. Oops. 

After the wedding ceremony, we hiked back up to the paved land, and we loaded up our van and headed home. 

It was a fast trip, but Amber is officially married, and we loved having an excuse to make a little vacation out of it! Plus - turkey sandwiches on the road! Remember this!