Currently {May 2018 Edition}

Reading: The Hideaway by Laura K. Denton and The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. I am also half way though Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, and I just can't get myself to finish it, but I have to because it's for my book group, and not finishing it would be the ultimate betrayal! (Becky? Amy? Please convince me to get going on this!)

Watching: Gilmore Girls still. I've reached what I call my "point of frustration" in the series, and I really want to give each of the characters therapy.

{How I feel about the ER}

Wanting: a diagnosis. Last week a sharp pain started in my lower right abdomen. I've seen four doctors. I've done three urine tests, three round of blood work, two ultrasounds, and a CT scan, and they haven't yet found the cause. I have no other symptoms - just pain. Over the weekend it was excruciating. So far this week, it's been tolerable. Thank heavens.

Craving: nothing.

That's not like me. What's happening here?

Wearing: sleepwear. It's 6:30 in the morning, and I've been up since 5:00 trying to be quiet.

Singing: "Can't Stop the Feeling." Yesterday my friend told me she hates that song, and it's been in my head ever since.

Relieved by: the Jordan River Temple finally opening next week.

Stressing about: the entire month of May. May is always crazy, but this May is especially crazy.

Neglecting: our garden. We are still trying to get our garden cleaned up, but we never have time. I planted two garden boxes last week, but that's only 1/4 of our garden.

Feeling: a little uptight, angry, and opinionated... which is exactly how I felt last month, too.

Buying: milk. I went to the grocery store a few days ago and then forgot to bring our groceries inside for two hours. It's a little sour.

Trying: to explain to my son (who sitting next to me reading family history - as all 11-year-old boys are prone to doing at 6:30 in the morning) that Prussia was a real place and not a typo.

Missing: having a cat. I don't want another cat (we have too many pets as it is, and my husband and three-year-old are trying to convince me that we need a snake), but I miss the Colonel and his wee beady eyes.

Proud of: Zoe and how much she has progressed in the past six months. Her speech is amazing now - - there are just a few sounds she struggles with, but we rarely misunderstand her anymore. Her social emotional skills have gone from below average to above average, and she has just blossomed recently. It's been amazing to watch. I have her IEP meeting next week, so we'll decide what she needs as she moves in to kindergarten.

I am also proud of Eva for... dare I say it... potty training! About two weeks ago, she took the lead, and now she is day time potty trained. I'm not sure when she'll ever be night time potty trained (considering her diaper weighs ten pounds every morning), but I'll take it!

Excited to: have my kids out of school for the summer. I never thought I'd say that, but I'm actually looking forward to having them home for a few months.

(Seriously, who am I?)

Frustrated with: soooo  many things. I can't even tell you.

Burdened by: mucus. I have a sinus infection. I'll spare you the details.

Looking forward to: going camping in a few weeks. Assuming I can. Portions of my life are on hold until my abdomen pain is resolved.

Thankful for: my home.

This Week in Parenting

-1-

Nicky has been working on his Citizenship in the Nation merit badge. One of the requirements involves looking at the headlines in national news every day. Because of this, we've had to have many talks with him about things like politics, sexual abuse, North Korea, sex ed, and gun violence.

I never knew I'd be so grateful for a volcano in Hawaii.

The volcano talk? I can handle that one.

-2-

Last night Eva kept asking me a question, and I couldn't understand her. She was so frustrated with me, so I finally said, "Yes," having no idea what I was agreeing to. She then ran upstairs to Zoe yelling, "She said yes!" (That was a little bit terrifying).

A minute later, Eva started screaming like she'd been hurt, so I went to see what happened.

Apparently, the question she was asking was, "Me teenager?" and I said, "Yes." I guess she and Zoe had been arguing about whether Eva was a teenager, and Zoe was adamant that Eva was not a teenager, so Eva came to me for back up. When I asked Zoe why she punched Eva in the face, she yelled,"BECAUSE EVA IS NOT A TEENAGER! SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE!!!"

Alrighty then.

-3-

Nicky has been getting trouble lately for mouthing off. He can be a little sassy pants, and he is quite defensive. I got after him last night for speaking disrespectfully to his dad, so he told me that he wants to have his voice box removed because that's the only way he can control what he says.

-4-

This morning I noticed one of Zoe's nightgowns peeking out of Scotty's sock drawer. Upon further inspection, I discovered that Zoe has been moving her stuff into our room bit by bit - as if she can do it slowly over time and we won't notice. When we asked her about it, she confirmed that yes, she has been slowly trying to take over our room. Eva is in on it, too.

I read in a parenting book recently that if your children rule your bedroom, they rule your life. Hmm...

Birthday Posters - The Rest of 'Em

A couple weeks ago I did my final birthday poster for the school year. It's always a relief to get the May poster hung and to walk out of the school knowing that I have a three month break ahead of me. I do experience a little bit of guilt over the summer birthdays that don't get acknowledged, but since my birthday is January 1st (a holiday and close to Christmas and a date that usually didn't get me any recognition at school) my overall attitude is "suck it up, it's not the end of the world."

You can see the first half of the year's posters in this post. 

Here are the rest:

January

I always thought Olaf would be very simple to make, but he is surprisingly detailed. Love that little guy! 

February

This was the second time I've been able to do a winter Olympic-themed poster, so I've been doing this a while! It didn't look as good as I hoped. 

March

Couldn't pass up a chance to do a Greatest Showman theme. 

April

May

A Few Inconveniences

When the three-year-old helps herself to the container of strawberries...

When a straw goes through the bottom of the styrofoam cup the day after I clean out the cup holders...

When the five-year-old insists that I provide booster seats for her stuffed animals...

When I sit on a Milk Dud, and I don't notice it's stuck to my pants until I've already been out in public...

Things We've Done Lately

Went on a mock vacation to Park City

My sister-in-law invited us to stay in Park City with her last weekend. We were only able to stay one night since I needed to be back for some church things on Sunday, but it was really fun and really nice to get away from home for a night. The kids had a blast playing in the pool and hanging out in the condo. We were pretty lazy, and it was awesome.

The biggest source of entertainment was the shoe tree. It kept my kids (and Scotty) busy for over an hour as they plotted ways to get shoes down from the tree so they could throw them back up into the tree.

The kids did some crafts, and we walked around Main Street. It wasn't very busy so we were able to ride the trolley (which was very exciting for our little Daniel Tiger fans).

Ate at a real restaurant... 

with a server and everything

A few years ago, as we tried to implement regular family scripture study, we started a "family store." Each time we read scriptures as a family, we would give our kids a marble. Then at the first Family Home Evening of each month, we would bring out the "family store" - a box of dollar store crap and treats that our kids could buy with their marbles. This worked really well, and our kids loved it, but I got tired of having cheap junk all over the house (something that will never go away, but why should I be the one providing it?) so after a couple of years, we told our kids we weren't going to do the family store anymore, and instead, we would do a fun outing or have a special treat every time we finish a book in the Book of Mormon.

Since the book of Alma is really long, we wanted to do something "bigger" when we finished Alma. The kids, of course, thought this meant we could go to Disneyland. Um... no. But I wish. We finsihed Alma recently, and Scotty and I decided to take the kids to dinner at Texas Roadhouse for our celebration.

Just a side note: Kids meals at Texas Roadhouse cost no more than kids meals at Chick-Fil-A. My three-year-old ate STEAK, mashed potatoes, and bottomless rolls for the price of chicken nuggets. In fact, my meal only cost a dollar more than the combo meal I like at Chick-Fil-A since we got the "before 6 p.m." dinner deal.

Anyway... taking kids to a restaurant is always risky, but our kids were so good! Sure there were moments of crawling under the table and there was some very loud commentary about the progress of Zoe's bowel movement in the bathroom, but overall, our kids were pretty well-behaved and the country music was just loud enough to drown out the worst of their noise. We realized that it's been a really long time since we ate at a sit-down restaurant with our kids. In fact, every time our server came to that table, Eva would say, "Who's that?" or "Why he here?" She had no concept of being served food in a restaurant, and she was really confused.

Put on a concert

For the past couple of years, Scotty has played bass in a band. Sometimes the band puts on basement concerts. It's a fun event with lots of friends and family of all ages. Scotty's brother came for the first time, and afterward he said, "That was awesome! I wish I would have brought my kids, but I thought there would be marijuana."

There was no marijuana.

Just music, popcorn, glow sticks, hand sanitizer, and a fog machine.

Worked on scout stuff

Scotty, Nicky, and I decided we would try to get Nicky's Eagle as soon as possible because we thought the LDS Church might drop their sponsorship of the BSA within the next few years. We've been checking out merit badge books from the library and signing up for classes in the community. Now the end date has been announced: December 31, 2019. I'm actually really happy about the change, but I'm also glad they gave us enough time to meet some goals before the transition.

Dealt with snow

We are eleven days into May, and there hasn't been any snow. Phew! But during April, we got a few bizarre weather patterns where we had almost 80 degree weather one day and snow the next. I couldn't even get out of the neighborhood because the traffic was so bad from the storms.

 Went on a date

I already wrote about our experience seeing Hamilton, but what I didn't tell you was that we started the night really early. We went out for cheese steaks and cheesecakes!

And then we found some seats on Main Street in downtown Salt Lake City, and we just sat there for an hour. Because we could.

We got to the theater about 45 minutes before the show started (I wanted to be in my seat as early as possible so I could just enjoy being there). The doors opened 30 minutes before the show, so we used the extra time to get some photos, use the bathroom, and check out the merchandise.

I wish Scotty and I could go on more dates. They don't all have to be this fancy. But right now we hardly ever see each other. It's not a good thing. 

15 Topics in 15 Years

Fifteen years ago today, Scotty and I said "I do."

(Actually, that's not true because our wedding ceremony didn't include that exact wording, but suffice it to say that by the end of the day, everything was tidy and legal, and we were stuck together in all of the official ways).

We hoped that we would be able to do something special for this anniversary (15 years is a good excuse to do something fun), but it just isn't in the cards (see #3 below). The good news is that we have five years to start planning something great for our twentieth (ha!)

(Now please imagine a picture of Scotty and me together posted here. Perhaps we are looking at each other, laughing candidly. A twinkle in each of our eyes. This picture does not exist outside of anyone's imagination, so try to hold it there a while...)

(Keep holding...)

(Look how happy we are!)

(Wait for it...)

(Don't you want to be us?)

(Just a little longer...)

(Okay, you may release the image).

In honor of our fifteenth anniversary, here are 15 things that Scotty and I talk about all the time:

Topic #1: What we see on Instagram

We have very, very different Instagram feeds. Scotty follows a bunch of people he doesn't know. His Instagram is full of food, travel, and sports. I only follow people I know personally (with the exception of Fallon, Jackman, Timberlake, and Underwood). At the end of the day, we have lots to talk about.

Topic #2: The shapes of our heads

When we were young and skinny, we joked about how I had a "hamburger" head and Scotty had a "hot dog" head. Sometimes I wonder if I had an exaggerated image of Scotty's long, skinny face, but then I look back at photos, and I am shocked at how truly narrow his head and face used to be.

Scotty and I stand in front of the mirror a lot and talk about our head shapes and how they have changed. I'm still a "hamburger" head, but the bun has gotten thicker. Scotty is no longer a "hot dog" head, but I still take every opportunity to call him one because I think it's funny.

Topic #3: Vacations we can't actually go on

We have a really big list of places we'd like to go but probably never will. Scotty likes to type in scenarios on Get Away Today, just for fun. I like to look at flights I'll never go on.

Topic #4: Things that bug us

This is probably something we should spend less time talking about, especially lately... because there are a lot of things bugging us.

Topic #5: Our ten-year plan

In about ten years, we will hit some pretty big milestones. Our kids will start entering adulthood which means college, missions, and weddings. We've tried to be proactive in planning for these things, but we'll see... part of me thinks the world can't possibly last another ten years, and if it does, we'll be living in an underground bunker. But it's good to have a plan just in case.

Note to self: add underground bunker to ten-year plan.

Topic #6: Things we want to do to our house

The list is long, but there's never enough time or money. Just today I asked Scotty if he would put an outlet in a particular spot in the living room. He said yes, and then I said, "Well, I can wait, like, twenty years. No rush." Because really...

Topic #7: Moving

This is actually something that I try to talk about a lot, but Scotty shuts me right down. Moving is not part of our ten-year plan, but for my own peace of mind, I have to entertain the idea every now and then and see if I'm still where I belong.

Topic #8: The calendar

We have a family meeting every Sunday night where we go over our calendar for the week. Without this conversation, we are completely lost and dysfunctional.

Topic #9: Our bed

Anytime we spend a night away from our bed, we come home and talk about how much we love our bed. Here's the truth about our bed: we sleep on a mattress that we bought for $25 from a hotel that was remodeling. It has a ten-year-old memory foam mattress topper on it that has huge chunks missing from our children and our cat (may he rest in peace).* There is no new mattress in our ten-year plan. Why ruin a good thing?

But really, after fifteen years, we are still living primarily on hand-me-downs and second-hand purchases. This is not what I envisioned my life would be like at this point, and yet, there's nothing wrong with it. Nineteen year old me would have died if she'd seen what my life is like now!

Topic #10: How lazy we want to be

We make a lot of comments to each other about how we don't want to be parents "today" or how we just want to stay in bed and watch TV. I'll have you know, though, we have never stayed in bed and watched TV all day, and we parent our children daily despite our lack of motivation. It may not be quality parenting, but it is parenting nonetheless.

Topic # 11: Vasectomies

Scotty and I talk about vasectomies ALL THE TIME.

ALL. THE. TIME.

My friends can attest to this. In fact, raise your hand if I've talked to you about vasectomies in the past six months.

See?

Topic #12: Church re-caps

Since we spend at least two hours in entirely different areas of the church each Sunday (I'm in primary and Scotty is in Young Men) we give a full report after church each week.

Topic #13: What I bought at the store

I'm also always recounting everything I buy at the store. This especially includes stuff I get a good deal on, like when ClickList is out of something, and they substitute something bigger and better to make up for it! Woot woot!

Topic #14: What the "bros" are up to

Scotty spends time with a couple of friends throughout the week. They do some side jobs, play basketball, and... who knows what else. So I get updates on the bros. Things like, "Today Mark send me a twelve minute Marco Polo of his dog staring at a hamster."

Topic #15: How fat we are

I try really hard to not use the "f" word, but can I be honest for a second? Scotty and I are blown away by how fat we are. We don't know how it happened. We just woke up like this one day!

----

We've had a wonderful fifteen years together. Here's hoping we're still willing to share an underground bunker after fifteen more.

-----

Just for fun, here are links to my past anniversary posts:

Five

Seven

Eight

Ten

Thirteen

Fourteen

*I feel like I should clarify that my cat's death was unrelated to the claw marks he left in our memory foam. 

If My Kids Were Characters

Nicky:

A little on the mopey side. Often steps aside at school and scouts to let the more dominant personalities have their way. Easily overlooked. Feels picked on for being the only boy in the family. 

 When he's happy, he's really really happy! But when he's sad, he's really really sad.

Daisy:

Stubborn and sassy. Will argue about anything. Acts out to get attention. A bit of a diva who loves having people do stuff for her. 

 Difficult at home but very well-behaved everywhere else. Teacher's pet.

Zoe:

Spunky and silly. Always moving. Always up to something. Has big ideas. Makes really big messes. 

 Does not like to wear socks.  

Eva:

Not a baby anymore but not a big kid either. Still little and cute but has her own ideas and opinions. 

Never likes to leave my side. Peed on the floor at Smith's today.