September Writing Challenge - Prompt #34:
Tough Stuff
I've had a lot of experiences lately where I hear the "other side" of the story, and I go, "Ohhhhh." It turns out, sometimes I am wrong about things.
I can be wrong because of limited perspective or information. I can be wrong because I make assumptions. I can be wrong because I relied on a second-hand (or even third or fourth-hand) story. I can be wrong because I misinterpreted, misheard, or misunderstood.
I can be wrong.
(And as a know-it-all, that's hard for me to admit).
Several months ago, I had a memorable experience with being wrong.
I had to speak in front of a group, and there was a lady named Helen on the front row. I knew Helen by name and reputation but not personally. I knew that she was (is) a very intelligent woman who retired from a prestigious career. I felt a little intimidated having her there sitting so close, and I hoped I could win her favor - at least to the extent that she didn't feel tortured or bored in my presence. But her face was stern the entire time, and I could tell that she was not impressed with me.
Later when Scotty asked me how it went, I specifically told him about Helen and how much she disliked my presentation. I received really good feedback from everyone else, but all I could focus on was how disinterested Helen had been.
Three days later I got a card in the mail from Helen telling me how much she loved and enjoyed my message.
Whoa.
I got it wrong. Way wrong.
And I had been so sure, too. I knew she hadn't liked me.
That and a slew of other experiences have reminded me that I need to question my own assumptions and conclusions. I always need to consider other explanations and perspectives and not rely entirely on my limited view of things.
A few months ago at church there was a lot of discussion in sacrament meeting and in Relief Society about some of the ways people have been hurt or wronged. There were stories shared of people feeling judged by other church members. It was kind of a heavy theme and some of the things that were being said were starting to bother me. I realized, after thinking about it for a long time afterward, that what was bothering me was the lack of forgiveness in these stories.
Now, these weren't stories of absolute cruelty. A lot of them were stories of someone saying or doing the wrong thing out of naivete or ignorance. They were stories, much like the one I shared about Helen, where someone was just... wrong. Someone got it wrong, plain and simple.
I imagined myself in the offenders' shoes thinking, "Will you let me try again?"
Because sometimes we just need a chance to do things differently, and that gets me thinking about how sometimes when someone else is wrong, we need to let them try again.
If someone says something inappropriate, will you let them try again? If someone is judgmental, will you let them try again? If someone acts on an incorrect assumption or incomplete information, will you let them try again?
If someone is wrong, will you let them try again? Because heaven knows we all need do-overs once in a while. Me especially.
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