Ball Cap

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #12:

Hats

This is a weird prompt, and I have no idea why I put it on the list other than I was trying really hard to think of things I have never written about, and hats seemed to fit the bill (Haha! Bill! Just a little hat humor there for you). 

I’ve never been a hat person for a few reasons:

Reason #1: I have a large head, and most hats are too tight. 

Reason #2: I have protruding ears. I just don’t look right with a hat. I don’t know where to put my hair. In front of my ears? Behind my ears? Over my ears? No position works or looks right. Sometimes when I mention this to people, they suggest that I tuck my ears in the hat. That sounds awful! Which brings me to…

Reason #3: I can’t handle the sensation of having a hat on my head. It’s uncomfortable and claustrophobic. And hot, itchy, and heavy. 

So I don’t wear hats, but I wish I could! I like hats. I want to be a hat person. Every now and then I put on a hat just to see if anything has changed, and then I take it right back off, and it’s all just a really big bummer because I think my kids would love for me to show up to all their events in this: