One of my favorite past times is imagining myself explaining our modern habits and luxuries to pioneers. Sometimes I think about how mind blowing it would have been for me, as a child, to see a cell phone from 2022, and then I think, How could a pioneer even fathom this? I mean... we have this little device that fits in our pockets, and it does everything for us. I remember thinking those shell-shaped walkie talkies that the Ninja Turtles used were the ultimate technological wonder! And now our phones have far surpassed that! (On the rare occasion I speak to my Apple Watch, I feel like I'm fulfilling my childhood Ninja Turtle dreams. Heroes in a half-shell!)
Me: Sorry I'm late. The line at the drive-thru was a little long.
Pioneer Pearl: What is a drive-thru?
Me: It's a place where we can have food handed to us through a window.
Pioneer Pearl: Why does it need to come through a window?
Me: Well, we don't always cook nowadays, so we have places where we can go and the food is passed to us through a window. It's fast and convenient!
Pioneer Pearl: What do you do with the food after it comes through the window?
Me: We eat it in our cars.
Pioneer Pearl: Then what do you do with the dishes afterward?
Me: What dishes?
-----------------------------
Pioneer Pearl: Why do some people have strange shapes above their eyes?
Me: Oh, those are eyebrows.
Pioneer Pearl: But why do some of them look like they are painted on? Is it part of a costume?
Me: Oh, we get to choose our eyebrows now.
------------------------------
Pioneer Pearl: What are you doing with that contraption?
Me: I'm sending Scotty a message to let him know that if he's late for dinner, I'm feeding his food to the chickens.
Pioneer Pearl: Would you really feed his dinner to the chickens?
Me: No. I'm just being funny.
Pioneer Pearl: Well now you've made him nervous that he won't get any dinner!
Me: Nah, it's fine. I put this laughing face next to the message, so he knows I'm joking. I can pretty much say anything I want as long as I put a laughing face next to it. Oh hey! He just sent me a curse word face back! I guess he really wants his dinner!
---------------------------------
Me: Okay, Pearl, I almost have your email account set up. I just need to prove I'm not a robot.
Pioneer Pearl: I don't understand. You very clearly aren't a robot!
Me: Yeah, I know. But I have to prove it.
Pioneer Pearl: How do you do that?
Me: By clicking on traffic lights.
---------------------------------
Me: I think we're almost to the top of the trail. Let me check Google Earth... Oh yes! We're right here, and the end is right there!
Pioneer Pearl: Are you telling me that I walked 1,300 miles from Nauvoo on guesswork, and you get to look at the earth from above on your little messaging contraption?
Me: Only if I have service.
----------------------------------
Pioneer Pearl: You have chickens?
Me: Yes. Hei Hei, Chickaletta, Henrietta, Sophie, Princess, and Eva.
Pioneer Pearl: You name them?
Me: Yes, but we've never been able to get them to keep their monogrammed sweaters on.
Pioneer Pearl: Why would a chicken need a sweater?
Me: Well, they sell them on Etsy, so the real question is, why wouldn't they need a monogrammed sweater?
------------------------------------
1 comment:
We get to choose our eyebrows! Dying over here!!!! Now I have to prove I’m not a robot to leave this comment.
Post a Comment