Thursday, October 6, 2022

Conversations with Pioneers: Episode 2

One of my favorite past times is imagining myself explaining our modern habits and luxuries to pioneers. Sometimes I think about how mind blowing it would have been for me, as a child, to see a cell phone from 2022, and then I think, How could a pioneer even fathom this? I mean... we have this little device that fits in our pockets, and it does everything for us. I remember thinking those shell-shaped walkie talkies that the Ninja Turtles used were the ultimate technological wonder! And now our phones have far surpassed that! (On the rare occasion I speak to my Apple Watch, I feel like I'm fulfilling my childhood Ninja Turtle dreams. Heroes in a half-shell!)


Anyway, here are a few conversations I've imagined myself having with Pioneer Pearl lately:


Me: Sorry I'm late. The line at the drive-thru was a little long.

Pioneer Pearl: What is a drive-thru?

Me: It's a place where we can have food handed to us through a window.

Pioneer Pearl: Why does it need to come through a window?

Me: Well, we don't always cook nowadays, so we have places where we can go and the food is passed to us through a window. It's fast and convenient!

Pioneer Pearl: What do you do with the food after it comes through the window?

Me: We eat it in our cars. 

Pioneer Pearl: Then what do you do with the dishes afterward?

Me: What dishes?

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Pioneer Pearl: Why do some people have strange shapes above their eyes?

Me: Oh, those are eyebrows.

Pioneer Pearl: But why do some of them look like they are painted on? Is it part of a costume? 

Me: Oh, we get to choose our eyebrows now.

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Pioneer Pearl: What are you doing with that contraption?

Me: I'm sending Scotty a message to let him know that if he's late for dinner, I'm feeding his food to the chickens.

Pioneer Pearl: Would you really feed his dinner to the chickens?

Me: No. I'm just being funny.

Pioneer Pearl: Well now you've made him nervous that he won't get any dinner!

Me: Nah, it's fine. I put this laughing face next to the message, so he knows I'm joking. I can pretty much say anything I want as long as I put a laughing face next to it. Oh hey! He just sent me a curse word face back! I guess he really wants his dinner!

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Me: Okay, Pearl, I almost have your email account set up. I just need to prove I'm not a robot.

Pioneer Pearl: I don't understand. You very clearly aren't a robot!

Me: Yeah, I know. But I have to prove it.

Pioneer Pearl: How do you do that?

Me: By clicking on traffic lights.

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Me: I think we're almost to the top of the trail. Let me check Google Earth... Oh yes! We're right here, and the end is right there!

Pioneer Pearl: Are you telling me that I walked 1,300 miles from Nauvoo on guesswork, and you get to look at the earth from above on your little messaging contraption?

Me: Only if I have service. 

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Pioneer Pearl: You have chickens? 

Me: Yes. Hei Hei, Chickaletta, Henrietta, Sophie, Princess, and Eva. 

Pioneer Pearl: You name them?

Me: Yes, but we've never been able to get them to keep their monogrammed sweaters on. 

Pioneer Pearl: Why would a chicken need a sweater?

Me: Well, they sell them on Etsy, so the real question is, why wouldn't they need a monogrammed sweater?

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1 comment:

JJ said...

We get to choose our eyebrows! Dying over here!!!! Now I have to prove I’m not a robot to leave this comment.