The Long but Incomplete List of Things I Won't Do

For Valentine's Day, Scotty gave me a card telling me that he'd planned a date for us that would get us out of our comfort zones.

I tried to not freak out, but inside, I was scared to death. I didn't hide it as well as I hoped. Scotty knew right away that I was not okay. He offered to tell me what the date was (it was about four days out), but I told him not to tell me because if it was something I would hate, I didn't want to spend four days dreading it.

(My poor husband).

The next day, we had a very thorough conversation about possible dates. Scotty asked me about all sort of activities, most of which I said I would not be interested in doing.

Here is a fact about me:

I am not adventurous.

Like, not at all.

(My poor husband).

I told Scotty that if our surprise date involved being up high in any way, he needed to cancel it. I keep my feet on the ground. He's been instructed to never "surprise" me with an activity that requires me to go up in the air.

This claim made me consider whether I would do a trapeze class, if ever an option. Would I? No. Why? Because I'm too overweight to hold myself up. But if I were 50-75 pounds lighter, would I?

In truth, I don't know. I want to say yes, but I seriously don't think I could get myself to swing on a trapeze. I don't know if it's a fear of heights, though. I think it's a control issue.

Here is a fact about me:

I am a control freak.

(My poor husband).

I don't think I can swing from a trapeze because 1) I might fail and/or fall, 2) I would feel out of control, and 3) I can't stand the idea of people watching me try something for the first time.

I also don't want to zip line, sky dive, or do a ropes course. Maybe I'll have a near-death experience someday that will change my mind, but for now, this is my policy. I don't go up high, especially for a "surprise."

I also don't like being wet, so Scotty has been instructed to never surprise me by taking me swimming or anything like unto it. No indoor surfing for this gal.

There are some things I would be willing to do with a group of close friends but not with Scotty alone. I could maybe do a ropes course with a group of friends. I just can't deal with strangers and being up high all at once.

I'd be willing to go to Top Golf with friends or play paintball with friends (but the whole paintball arena has to be friends or friends of friends because I can't shoot or be shot by strangers). There are some activities you just need groups for.

I am not interested in Paint Nite or Color Me Mine. I don't want to have my feet pedicured by fish. I don't want to go to a museum or aquarium that I normally take my children to.

I don't want to play mini golf or go cosmic ice skating.

I've reached a point in life where I don't need all the dating activities. What I need from a date is the chance to feel relieved from my responsibilities for a night and connect and spend time with Scotty. Mini golfing with my husband ain't no thing to me. It serves no purpose.

I can tolerate bowling about once every five years. Add this to the list of activities I would prefer to do with a group.

I don't want to take a ballroom dance class with my husband. I know there are women who dream of this. Not me.

I don't mind riding the Alpine slide (after the horrible part where I have to go up high on a ski lift). And I'm slightly open to bob sledding (maybe I'm only 90% adventure-less, but the percentage is still high enough to warrant the description of "not adventurous).

After our conversation, I was really anxious to find out what Scotty had planned, and I hoped I didn't crush his dreams. He was really trying! And he'd donated plasma for weeks to pay for our mystery date.

In my heart, I hoped it was a couple's massage, but that didn't fit the "out of our comfort zones" description. I'm totally cool with getting naked for strangers and letting them rub me. In fact, it's one case where I really like strangers (as opposed to people I went to high school with - which was what happened last time I had a massage).

It turned out to be precisely what I hoped for! We went to dinner and used a gift card we got for Christmas. Then we went and had massages. It was exactly what I needed - time with Scotty and a chance to relax. And since Scotty had never had a massage, it was our of his comfort zone, but he loved it (I always knew he would).

For this Valentine's Day surprise, Scotty nailed it!

(Part of me wonders if he initially had something else planned but changed it after my reaction. I'm not even going to ask him. I'll feel too horrible if that's what happened).