Monday, March 12, 2018

Currently {March 2018 Edition}

Reading: The Family Romanov by Candace Fleming

Watching: The Goldbergs

Procrastinating: Finding a primary care physician. 

Wanting: New couches. If you remember (which you probably don't, and that's okay) "new couches" used to make regular appearances here. We eventually got a new (used, actually) couch in our living room, but it's now in shambles. Several springs have popped lose in it, and it makes horrible screeching sounds when anyone sits on it. It recently swallowed a member of our Relief Society Presidency - the one with the bad back, of course - so now I'm to the point where I don't want anyone to sit in my house lest they become injured or lost. 

Craving: Chinese food

Wearing: Jeans that have a stretchy waistband and look a lot like maternity pants, but they aren't maternity pants. I refer to them as my "glory jeans." Also a blue hand-me-down t-shirt from Shannon. A significant portion of my wardrobe is Shannon's hand-me-downs. 

Relieved by: Scotty getting to come home a week early from a business trip (he was supposed to be gone until St. Patrick's Day, but he was able to home on the 9th).

Stressing about: Food. I'm working on my grocery list for later this week, and deep in my heart of hearts I want to make healthy choices, but I also have a special place in my heart for cheap & easy. I don't care what anyone says, eating healthy is not cheap or easy.

Neglecting: The floor of my house. I can't look down or I'll be overwhelmed. I'm just going to keep my head high, and if anyone comes to my house, I'll clear a path. Not sure where the path will go since no one can sit on my couch. Maybe to a kitchen stool?


Trying: To drink more water. I feel like I drink a lot of water, but when I actually track the quantity, I come up short. 

Feeling: Kind of blah. There are some things eating away at me right now. I'm struggling with some family relationships, and I feel like this world is a hopeless, awful place and why, oh why, did I think I could raise four children here? You know that feeling? 

Wishing: That I had a personal assistant (I call her Sue).

Relieved by: A large medical bill that somehow got taken care of. I don't know how it happened. A miracle? Maybe. I wish I knew.

Burdened by: Something reflux-y/heartburn-y. I don't know what my deal is, but I could barf any moment. Remember how I'm procrastinating finding a primary care physician? This is one of the side effects of my procrastination. I feel like there's a balloon inflating in my throat.

Loving: The warm weather this week that allows me to send my kids out in public in sandals and flip flops without great scrutiny. Winter is not kind to the feet of my children. They need air.

Worried about: My kids. I've reached the point in motherhood where I'm worried all the time. I think it just stays like this permanently from this point forward. 

Thankful for: Alone time. It's such a rare occurrence for me to be alone that I've come to treasure it dearly, even though I spend most of it freaking out about spending it wisely - which prevents me from spending it wisely.

1 comment:

Amy Sorensen said...

Just wanted to reach out and give you a virtual hug! That despair-y feeling is so hard! You are the exactly right person to bring those four beautiful kids into this world.